For The Sake Of Skincare I Understand Have A Good Day Your Honour

For the sake of skincare I understand have a good day your honour

sorry. ground your boyfriend into a paste and applied him liberally under my eyes before i went to bed and now im fresh faced and glowing

You have a completely useless superpower in a world full of amazing superpowers. You have been a laughing-stock for years, until you started using your powers for evil… nobody is laughing now.

This was a challenge for you, but not for Yusef Dikec.

The CIA tries to kill Clark Kent, not because they know he’s Superman, but because he’s a really good journalist. They keep making it look like an accident, but every plan fails. It’s a comedy as the CIA can’t figure out why their attempts always go wrong.

You are a rookie hero. While a dangerous supervillain was preoccupied, rival villains kidnapped his wife. You were the only hero willing to help get his wife to safety. The terrifying supervillain now wants to thank you in person.

You met a girl at a bar who gave you a number. Turns out, she has a superpower; Any number she gives out to others turns into the number they needed to call the most. You call it, and it forwards you to the most powerful supervillain in the world.

Here, a cheater course on caring for natural fibers!

1. Wool. Treat it like it has the delicate constitution of a Victorian lady and the conviction that baths are evil of a 17th century noble. (If I get in WATER my PORES will OPEN and I will CATCH ILL AND DIE.)

2. Cotton; easygoing. Will shrink a bit if washed and dried hot.

3. Silk; people think it’s like wool and has the constitution of a fashionably dying of consumption Victorian lady, but actually it’s quite tough. Can be washed in an ordinary washer, and either tumbled dry without heat or hung to dry.

4. Linen; it doesn’t give a shit. Beat the hell out of it. Historically was laundered by dousing it in lye and beating the shit out of it with wooden paddles, which only makes it look better. The masochist of the natural fiber world. Beat the fuck out of it linen doesn’t care. Considerably stronger than cotton. Linen sheet sets can last literal decades in more or less pristine shape because of that strength.The most likely natural fiber to own a ball gag.