"How Did You Even-"

"How did you even-"

"You probably don't want to know. Also, duck."

"Duck?"

Yusef blinked blankly at his dad, followed by a loud THUNK and a bruise swelling in his forehead.

"Owh..."

"YOU'RE DOING GREAT MIRANDA, KEEP IT UP" his dad screamed proudly with his squeaky voice. The orc was struggling against Miranda's clenched thighs turning shades of blue that they weren't supposed to.

Yusef stared at the lady and marvelled at how her broad shoulders rippled with muscle as she held the orcs grungey hands away from her. He look at his own hands that had always felt too big at father's home, but just right at school. He asked a again.

"Dad how did you, a halfling, even manage to do it with a giant? And how did I turn out to look like a human? Am I adopted?"

"Wait,which one was your ex?" "Firstly, we didn't breakup and to answer your question it's the three meter tall women thats currently winning the fight against an orc."

[Thought of You - by Ryan Woodward]

[The Weepies - The World Spins Madly On]

It’s Music Monday! I’ve never met an animator who didn’t love this video. But I realized it probably doesn’t extend far beyond us, so I hope someone not in animation clicks this today and has three minutes of feeling like your body exhaled peacefully. I will add this is not the official music video for this song–come to think of it I’ve never seen the official video. This is just one man’s passion project of a video, and it’s lovely.

"WHY ME?"

The dragon snorted. "You're a dumbass that's why."

"I- hey if I'm a dumbass what does that make you?"

"The benevolent teacher who can raise even the ones who outrun wisdom to greatness." The dragon said sarcastically., twirling it's claw in the air for dramatic effect.

You frown. "You're not gonna shapeshift into one of those hot dragons-in-human-forms and have this lomg drawn out romantic and possibly sexual storyline with me are you?"

The dragon choked on a puff of smoke. "I- what the fuck are you reading? You're 12!"

"I'm 15. I just look small for my age."

The dragon groaned. "No you idiot, I'm using you for political gain. I need an easy-to-influence figurehead to make sure the human oligarchs aren't going cause the rest of the dragons to burn all of human civilization to the ground." It paused. "And frankly, some of us actually enjoy -erm. Spending time with your kind in human form." It said with a cough.

"SO YOU DO TRANSFORM INTO A HOT HUMAN."

"ENOUGH OF THAT. 12 ESSAYS ON EACH ERA OF HUMAN AND DRAGON RELATIONSHIPS, DUE IN A FORTNIGHT. DON'T BOTHER ME UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED."

"Yes your majestically hot dragon in dragon form."

HISSSSSS.

Every 500 years, the dragon who founded the Academy arrives to choose a student to tutor directly. You are the weakest mage on record and she has chosen you.

🚂🚃

I'm a train! I love trains.

@ceasarslegion @skipppppy

tag game!

Your last emojis are your gender

🇺🇲👍

Uh

@erikaskblog @fymo-blogs

Throwing a Molotov that's actually just a bottle of hornets into the base of your enemy is absolutely evil yet cartoony behaviour

For men, a woman is a ticket at throwing their genes further down the line in hopes that part of them might see a better day in the world they created for themselves.