Honestly I Think My Goal As A Trans Christian Is To Be So Visibly Trans Christian That I Make Heads Roll.

honestly i think my goal as a trans christian is to be so visibly trans christian that i make heads roll. i want a certain class of people to be confused and unsettled by my mere existence.

i want to wear a cross necklace and a trans pin when my hrt has just started to kick in – and have somebody tell me that i'm misappropriating the cross that Jesus died for my sins on.

i want to openly talk theology using my masculine-sounding voice coming from my feminine-presenting appearance – while somebody in the room wonders whose agenda i'm really supporting.

i want to be invited to church by a member who is so well-loved that they're socially obligated to treat me well by proxy – except for the pastor, who isn't afraid to stare me down the whole sermon.

but i don't just want to make people mad. and i know i cannot change everyone's hearts alone.

all i want to do is change the conversation.

because right now, the conversation is that it is not POSSIBLE to be a trans christian. after all, none of them have seen it for themselves.

but i'm both. and i'm right here.

so i want to be LOUD. i want my existence to be KNOWN.

i want to FORCE people to realize that it is possible to be trans AND christian.

whether or not they Agree with my existence, they cannot argue Against my existence.

it's going to make some people Mad and Afraid. those people were never going to listen anyway.

it's going to make others Confused and Shocked. those are the lives that i want to touch.

because even if they never agree with me... they'll remember me.

one day the good christian kid they raised might come out of the closet... and that parent might remember me, and it'll be that much easier to accept.

or at least, it'll be that much easier to give up and go "FINE, I CAN'T STOP THIS, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME."

i am far from the first trans christian, but i exist in a time when we are still not truly welcome.

more importantly, i am far from the last trans christian – and i want to make it easier for those who will come after me.

so i will Exist Loudly as a trans christian, and through that i will shake the very foundation of hatred that tells me i should not exist.

today i decided to start posting some of my favorite twitter threads from over the years on my blog, backdated to when i first posted them. why? because they should've been blog posts in the first place, full stop. time to fix that!

i'm tagging them all #backdated so you can view the collection at any time, but i'll update the front page with each new batch too. speaking of which, here's today's batch, loosely sorted by category:

Creative

The Missing Sketchbook, a piece of my childhood and drawing history that i thought i lost

Long Desk

spontaneous creation with toys

Gender

how my oc Rivers helped smash my own gender identity

a reflection on repression, from just days after i came out

Gaming

Mari0 10th Anniversary: how the game and its community changed my life

beating Twilight Princess for the first time and putting it in the broader context of the Zelda series evolution

"i love this game, it kills me so much."

i made a highlights reel of my monkey ball streams! if you're never watched me stream before, this is a great introduction. hope you enjoy 💙

Garden Grove | 091-H9Y-1PG

Here's my take on a first level, a "1-1". Aimed at beginners who haven't played Mario before, like your nephew or mom. Tried to make it easy without being boring, which was a challenge to balance!

new stream archive, in which i can't tell which player i am. am i 3? am i 1? am i 7? based on how well i can play mario strikers, i'm probably about that old.

100 followers!

wow, this is something i'm legitimately surprised about! i certainly didn’t think when starting out that so many people would like my posts so much ✨ it's an honor to provoke thought in and entertain such a large—

wait a sec. what? am i in some kind of time loop?

nah, here's what happened: tumblr had a big account purge sometime in the last year or two! a bunch of old, deactivated, or (mostly) bot accounts were purged from the system all at once, and with it, follower counts dropped across the board – so i dipped back below 100 followers again. that's okay though, considering the circumstances; the new number is more accurate!

i don't have any proof of this because at some point i stopped celebrating follower milestones, but i peaked at 249 followers just before the purge – and dropped all the way back down to 87. that's a lot of bots!!

i know i shouldn't obsess over numbers too much but there is one weird thing: just 3 years ago i was hovering around 240 followers here, and barely holding 100 followers on my twitter. now i'm hovering around 240 on my twitter, and i just made it back to 100 here!

anyway it doesn't really matter where or when people follow me, i'm just happy that so many of y'all like what i say enough to stick around. thanks for reading my nonsense 💖

100 followers!

Wow, this is something I’m legitimately surprised about. I certainly didn’t think when starting out that so many people would like my posts so much! It’s an honor to provoke thought in and entertain such a large–

WHOOPS. I might be a little late to the party ^^; Then again, the other day I checked and had 98, but today after I was notified of a new follower, it’s 103? That makes no sense???