For Real, I Was Just Trying To Practice Worldbuilding, And Now I've Ended Up Six Chapters In With Characters

For real, I was just trying to practice worldbuilding, and now i've ended up six chapters in with characters who I absolutely love and would die for.

making up oc lore: fuck yes a little guy just for me

writing down oc lore: what the fuck

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Fury of Nations - Chapter Three

Previous Chapter: 2

Chapter One: 1

Next Chapter: 4

Chapter 3

Since leaving Vishal, I’d had my fair share of what my parents called “culture shock”. But when I got to the war camp, it was somehow worse. Yes, two of the four other squad mates used Hand Signs with me, and there were other Vishali, but it felt weirdly alienating to have everyone else communicating in one way, and then communicating with me in an entirely other way. It felt like I was being left out, even though I could understand Tsaballan pretty well, and could technically speak whenever I wanted. On top of that, some of the other Vishali were… well, full of themselves. They refused to speak out loud at all, and were almost hostile to those of us who did choose to speak aloud at times. It was made even worse by the fact that one of my squad mates made it clear that he hated me simply for being Vishali. The highlight of my day was visiting the cooks. There seemed to be a strange camaraderie among the cooks that I hadn’t seen in other places. People of all different races shared stories as they made food in a hot kitchen.

“Ah, Shinael! Have you come back to steal a bite of food before dinner?” A Hidalni cook asked, winking at me.

‘Who, me? I would never! I just want to make sure the food will satisfy my picky squadmates.’ I signed back, barely remembering that a smile is how you express a joke. Another cook touched my arm to get my attention, I turned to see an Alanaean who had arrived a few weeks before I did. 

‘You taste? Tell how good it is?’ She asked in broken hand sign. I nodded and let her lead me over to a pot where she spooned a thick sludge into a bowl and handed it to me.

‘M-O-N-D-Y-L S-T-E-W’ She signed. I showed her the sign for stew and she nodded.

‘M-O-N-D-Y-L Stew. Alanae cooking.’ I lifted the bowl and ate some, letting it sit in my mouth for a moment to take in the flavor. I thinned my lips at her.

‘It’s very good! What is the spice you used?’ We talked for a while more about the ingredients, many of them native to the northern countries. I left her to her stew and wandered through the kitchen again until I found Coit, a Vishali cook I knew from back home. 

‘Hello Shinael. Have you considered my offer?’ They asked. 

‘I appreciate it, Coit, I do. But my place is with Squadron 13. I can alter a meal to make it taste better, but I am no special cook. I best serve as a spy.’ Coit nodded

‘I understand. Just know that we will always welcome you should you choose to join the cooks. We’re always in need of a taste tester.’ I nodded and we sat in silence for a moment.

‘My shift is nearly done. Maybe you can help me with this last batch of Jrenish and then we can wander around and find something to do?’ They asked. I accepted and walked over to the ovens with them where they pulled out a pot of what I assumed was Jrenish. 

Wandering around turned out to be a very good idea. Though I’d been here for at least three days now, I hadn’t had the opportunity to explore. Coit had been here a few weeks before I had, so they’d been around a few times. They informed me on some of the things I hadn’t been keeping up on. People regularly get mail from people back home, but no one tells you, you just have to go check at the kiosk next to the front gate. There’s a small train station a little to the south that takes you to and from the nearest town, Tsashen, but it’s a little expensive. As we walked, Coit waved at several people, mostly Vishali spies I trained with and other cooks I’d seen around. 

‘You’ve really made a lot of friends here.’ I commented. They thinned their lips at me

‘Yeah. It’s strange how much a war like this brings people together. Especially people in specific communities, like the cooks and’ they stopped signing to gesture to those training in the pit as we passed, ‘believe it or not, the soldiers.’ It was after training time, so anyone training at this point did so because they wanted to, not because their schedule demanded it. I thought back to Talyn and how, though he wasn’t really nice, he was more respectful towards Ta’eel and Kishan than to others. Kishan, because they’re squad captain, Ta’eel because she proved herself to him in beating him in a fight the first day they arrived. 

‘I think I can believe that. Even in Vishal, little communities were always pretty tight. I had a few friends who never missed a meeting in their respective clubs. I guess it would make sense for that to extend to other cultures too.’ Coit nodded and then looked at me with a strange expression.

‘You know…’ they paused and stopped walking to look around at the cabins on this side of the camp, ‘other races aren’t that much different from us. Each person is an individual with their own capabilities and aspirations. Just because one is Fijari and one is Vishali doesn’t mean they can’t get along, nor does it mean they’re so different from each other.’ They nodded at Talyn who was talking with Fijari twins and their Tsaballan Squad Captain I’d previously met. Talyn never really expressed joy that I saw, but he looked as close to happy as I’d seen him so far, sitting around their campfire speaking in Fijari which the Tsaballan had apparently learned some of. Coit knew of my complaints, specifically those about Talyn.

‘But what if… the Fijari doesn’t see it that way?’ I asked. Coit shrugged.

‘Then that is their problem. If the Vishali wants to put in the effort, they might try reaching the Fijari in a way the Fijari will respond to and work from there.’ Coit thinned their lips slyly at me.

‘Inter-race communication can be difficult when you’re raised to believe it is. But no culture is too different to find common ground between individuals.’ They left me there, still considering their words before I even realized they were gone.

I agree with this so much. I find it really funny that I have a much harder time when I have to change a spelling of a name rather than changing the name altogether. For example, I have a friend, Wren. he put his name in my phone as Ren and it took me AGES to find him after I changed it to Wren when he corrected me and himself. Like, his deadname and Ren are the same person in my brain, no big deal, but Ren and Wren are COMPLETELY different people in my brain and I cannot connect the two without thinking really hard about it. I have no idea why I'm like this, but I do appreciate that I have very little to no problem completely switching someone's name in my brain.

i know its been said over and over that trans people who experiment with names before picking one or who change their names shouldn't be ashamed but ill even go and say. if you spend enough time with trans people you begin to realize how something like a name is just an extension of the person and if you really know them like KNOW them and not just catalogue them as a title in your brain then a name change isn't really all that difficult. primarily my friends exist in my head as 'someone i love' and then names and pronouns are modifiers. also if you know your friends well enough is someone going from 'raven' to 'victor' really that surprising of a change to make come on now

Fury of Nations - Chapter Four

Previous Chapter: 3

Chapter One: 1

Next Chapter: 5

Chapter 4

“For Fijar’s sake, Dilan!” I turned to see Talyn yelling at Dilan again. The two of them really needed to be able to train together sometimes, but every time I left them unattended, Talyn ended up yelling at Dilan for something or other. 

“I cannot work with you, you are a dreadful fighter.” He continued. Dilan didn’t respond, he just stood there staring at Talyn as if he could see into his soul. I’d been on the receiving end of one of those stares and it was genuinely unsettling. Talyn stood glaring at Dilan and I hoped he’d give it up for a minute, but instead he just continued to berate him. I sighed and left Ta’eel to walk over.

“Stop it, both of you!” I commanded when I reached them. Dilan looked at me with a startled expression and Talyn turned his glare on me, but didn’t say anything,

“Talyn, Dilan is not a dreadful fighter, he is a good fighter. He just does not meet your expectations because they are excessively high. Dilan,” I turned to face him, “You really need to stop just staring at people when they pick a fight with you. It only makes them angrier and unless you are staring down a… a Hidalni or something, you are not menacing enough to keep them from messing with you further.” I stared down at the both of them disapprovingly. 

“Why do not you both take a break. Ta’eel?” I called over my shoulder at the Tashikan who I had now seen fight first hand, “why do not you train Dilan when he is ready? Talyn, how are your long-range skills?” I asked. He gave me a look.

“How do you think? Top marks, just like close-range combat.”

“Perfect, then you can teach me how to better my aim in throwing knives and axes when you are done with your break. If Shinael is back, you can teach the both of us, or maybe I will send them in to train with Ta’eel and Dilan, we will see what they are up to.” Talyn nodded and walked over to go get water.

“Dilan? I said it before, but you really do have to get the staring under control. Everyone communicates in different ways, but there are some ways that just are not good.” He nodded at me and sighed.

“I know. It’s been a problem my whole life. I don’t really know what else to do though.” I paused, wondering if an offer from me would be too strange.

“Maybe… If you want to sometime, I can teach you some basics? I am not a master communicator myself, but I can give you pointers on some of the more obvious things you do.” He smiled at me and nodded.

“Sure. At this point, I think anything’ll help.” He laughed and wandered over to get some water. Ta’eel bumped my elbow with hers and winked at me as she passed. Other cultures non-verbal communications will always be a mystery. Was it simply a playful wink that meant ‘hello my friend’, or was she teasing me about something? I hadn’t studied Tashikan body language yet, but maybe I should do that tonight. I had another trip to the library scheduled tonight so I could return some of the books I’d borrowed. Perhaps I’d bring Dilan with me. He did mention something about mythology books. I’d be interested to hear his favorite myths and perhaps start with those. 

I sighed as Ta’eel gave me a smile I could tell was forced for the umpteenth time. Since Kishan and Talyn had left to practice at the ranges, Ta’eel had been training me. She was so much more patient than Talyn was, but I just wasn’t getting it like I knew she wanted me to. She paused and looked up at the sky.

“It’s getting late and most people have left. If you want to continue we can, but I don’t know that more training right now is going to help. You’re good, but I can tell you’re frustrated now and training while angry doesn’t help you learn.” I nodded and she made is if to walk away but then paused, blinked a few times, and then continued towards the weapons rack to put her borrowed sword away. I narrowed my eyes at her slightly, trying to discern what that might have been. I have the ability to see what I call ‘aura’s’. They tell me a lot about a person, including their race, sense of purpose in life, gender, and current emotion. However, Ta’eel’s aura was strange. Her emotions, which are usually arranged in categories at a person’s head, shoulders and stomach, seemed all mixed up. Sometimes happiness would show in her head, then her left shoulder. Sometimes anger and happiness might show in the exact same place. On top of that her aura was a strange color that I hadn’t seen before. Tashikan auras were usually a teal/cyan color, depending on their sense of purpose in life. But Ta’eel’s was mostly black, with occasional swirls of dark blue. In moments like that, where she seemed slightly out of focus, the blue swirls would overwhelm the black for a flash of a moment before retreating entirely for a little. I didn’t know what it meant, but to be honest, it scared me a little. Kishan and Talyn walked towards us, evidently of the same mind as we were.

“Time to go start a campfire, the sky’s getting dark. Shinael showed up a little while ago, but they were tired from specialized training, so I sent them back to camp to rest.” Kishan said. Ta’eel and Kishan ascended the stairs chatting about various things while Talyn packed up his personal weapons. I hesitated for a moment, wanting to say something, but I didn’t know what I should say. After a second or two, I headed up the stairs too. I was about halfway up when Talyn shouldered past me, but then shook his head and stumbled back, nearly falling.

“Talyn? Are you alright?” I asked, worried he might have tripped. He looked wildly alarmed and stared at me blankly before shaking his head again and shoving my shoulder aside.

“I’m fine.” He growled. He didn’t seem ‘fine’ to me, but I knew better than to contradict him. I’d tell Kishan about it later and they could talk to him about it. A worry flickered in the back of my mind. An old memory about a boy I liked when I was much younger. The first and last time he kissed me, he had gotten a glimpse of my power. That was the last time he talked to me. Had that happened with Talyn just now, did his hand brush mine as he walked past me? Most people weren’t able to see what I did just by touching me and I didn’t understand why some could. I pushed that aside for now, I couldn’t afford to worry about that too. I walked up the stairs and caught up with Kishan and Ta’eel. Walking to the cabin circle, Talyn had apparently shut himself in his cabin already, having speed walked back and Shinael had a fire going.

‘__ __ alright?’ Shinael asked. I only recognized the last sign they made and I let Kishan answer, assuming Shinael was inquiring about Talyn. Kishan and Shinael talked in sign for a little before Ta’eel settled down by the fire and kicked her feet up on what would have been Talyn’s chair.

“Does anyone want to go get food for the lot of us? I can if no one else wants to, or we can all serve ourselves, either way works for me.” She said. Shinael offered to go get some food for us and they came back with five plates.

“I am to go give Talyn his food. Although acting strange, Talyn needs food.” They said over their shoulder as they walked away. I’d been startled the first time I heard them speak. They were only a little shorter than Talyn, and however slimly built, I still wasn’t expecting a soft, high pitched voice from them. Apparently all Vishali had higher pitched voices, and most were soft spoken whenever they chose to speak out loud, but it still felt a little strange. 

“Alright. If he attacks you, yell for help. No point in trying to save an ego.” Ta’eel joked. Shinael didn’t respond and I sat back and watched the fire as I ate. Eventually, Kishan stood up, explaining that they were going to the library to return a few books. There was an odd pause before they left where it seemed as if they wanted to say something, but they didn’t. I let myself watch them walk away, shame and disappointment glimmering in the section at their right shoulder.

I say this all the time to my friends. The main "offender" is from straight up Texas, so like- it's really hard for her to use they or he instead of she when she knew me for a solid year as my deadname and she. (This is the second year we've known each other and she has never deadnamed me) She feels really bad whenever she misgenders me, but I always tell her that I appreciate just that she's trying. Same with my sister and brother in law. Stepsister met me at 4 years old and has known me as she since then, but she's trying and so is her husband. Both of them also grew up in Texas (though stepsis did live with us sometimes, most mostly with her mom) so, I get it, it's hard. To everyone who's trying to gender their trans loved ones correctly, but do mess up, I appreciate you. Just because you mess up doesn't mean you aren't trying. And you prove that you're trying because you are making progress, and you do correct yourself. It's difficult to change a view you've had your whole life, but the fact that you're doing it because you support us means the world to me, and I know it means the world to others too. Thank you.

didn't wanna derail the last post with it but in general most trans people don't give a shit about minor mistakes. you can slip up and use the wrong pronouns or a gendered term and go "oh my bad" and 99% of the time that's where the problem begins and ends. no one is out there screaming "did you just assume my gender?!" because, like, yea. you probably did. shit happens. it's when you make a massive deal out of it, kick your heels and insist that actually "dude" is completely gender neutral or you're trying your best so everyone should just shut up ect ect that things become a problem. but every single person who does the latter insists it was the former and that everyone is making a big fuss about a mistake when in reality they've misgendered someone 10 times in a row and made no attempt to correct themself.