Imagine A Slasher Searching/looking For You, And You Hide In A Dresser Or Something Like That.

Imagine a Slasher searching/looking for you, and you hide in a dresser or something like that.

Then suddenly you sneeze and the Slasher goes "Bless you" and you're like "Thank you". And the Slasher just continues to look for you.

Wholesome Orcs from Shadow of War

The Orc who told me he’d throw himself between me and anything from an enemy Warchief to a Graug, but if I wandered anywhere near spiders I was on my own.

My bodyguard who offered to compose a song about me so “the lads” would have something to hum on a long march.

The Captain who told me he’d figured out the reason people can’t breathe underwater which is because there’s no air down there.

That one very Northern Captain who, during camp raid mission, goes “I don’t say this often, but I’m real proud of you, lads. You kill soft-skins real good. Keep it oop!”

My bodyguard who told me to “stay safe” when I sent him to go home without me.

The Captain who told me that the safest way to get rid of my enemies is to go live in a cave for 40 years and when I come out again all my enemies will have died.

All Orc grunts who can be seen playing with their Caragors in your fortresses.

My bodyguard who, upon being summoned because I somehow found myself alone against four enemy captains at the same time, calmly asked if I had plans for us tonight (Yes we have plans for tonight, Nazû, the plan is murder).

Those two Orcs who are under the impression that the Bright Lords gets stronger every time he is killed and therefore concluded that this means I must have died hundreds of time already (I still don’t know whether I’m feeling flattered or insulted).

"my child is fine"

dude, your child finds comfort in horror movie characters

Welcome to the "I'm the only one in my friends group that wants to be fucked by a gross murderer" club.

We also have the "I want to be held by a big man so that I feel protected and not lonely and sad anymore" club.

A Balrog. A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you.

Ravenclaw: I'm so tired.

Slytherin: So go to sleep.

Ravenclaw: I don't want to.

Slytherin: Why?

Ravenclaw: What if I can't sleep?

Slytherin: That doesn't make sense.

Ravenclaw:... I know.