Slizzdoeswot - Slizz Does Wheel Of Time

‘Luck,’ he muttered. ‘Time to toss the dice.’

Hammar gave him an odd look. ‘You speak the Old Tongue, lad?’

Mat:

‘Where are you from, lad?’

‘Manetheren.’ Mat froze when he heard the name come out of his mouth. ‘I mean, I’m from the Two Rivers. I have heard too many old stories.’

I love this so much because it comes after a chapter of Mat insisting he’s the only normal one left in the gang. 😂😂

Mat ‘I think with my d*ck’ Cauthon is the only one of the boys with the presence of mind to realize Selene is suspicious af, and that’s why he’s my favorite

Moiraine: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Mat: Mine just says "Mat no."

Moiraine: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Wheel of time is a silly little story about the world's worst chosen one fucking everything up so badly he needs a polycule to corral him towards being marginally less of a dumbass, while his two best friends become war hero wife guys, and also fuck everything up just as badly. Also there's a lot of hot women who I would thank if they punched me in the face.

Wheel of Time plays the ultimate trick on its readers because it markets itself as this very “good vs evil” “the world is very black and white” story, but when you get into it, you realize that the true message is about the detrimental effects of thinking of the world in such opposites. In this essay I will—