Slizzdoeswot - Slizz Does Wheel Of Time - Tumblr Blog

Wheel of Time plays the ultimate trick on its readers because it markets itself as this very “good vs evil” “the world is very black and white” story, but when you get into it, you realize that the true message is about the detrimental effects of thinking of the world in such opposites. In this essay I will—

Okay, I was gonna steel my nerves and wait till after I watched the first three episodes of season 2.........., But why is Rand sharing a bed with Lanfear!?!?!?!? WHY is Moiraine shielded but they acting like she's stilled?? IS she stilled???? Is Nynaeve gonna heal her and Suiane doesn't get stilled???? Are we even gonna get a breaking of the White Tower? AND WHYYYYYYY is Perrin having Rand's visions? That's part of Rands struggle with impending madness, not part of Perrin coming to terms with his wolf powers?! Why add the fantasy mental health institution? I don't understand having sooooooooooo much source material and throwing out so much to add stuff, and what does it do for the Wheel of Time really? And Liandrin 😑😑😑😑😑 Is she gonna be Black Aja? Why try to make her more sympathetic, she's awful, let her be awful. And we already know i despise the road they have taken my darlin Mat down, where is his luck???? Why he gotta burrow out like a rat? 🤨Okay, and getting rid of one of the sisters for Verin?????? I love Verin, but wtf Vandene and Adeleas come up again when Verin is busy elsewhere! I don't expect it to be 100% book accurate, but the sheer amount of slicing and dicing drives me bonkers.

The one thing that I'm really happy about and thats BAYLE DOMON! FINALLY!!!!

Siuan: How you doing?

Moiraine: Not so well

Siuan: What happened?

Moiraine: I have this headache that comes and goes

*Rand, Mat and Perrin enter the room*

Moiraine: There it is again

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE KIDDING ABOUT THE FORSAKEN BEING SALTY ACADEMICS

mat cauthon 🦊 22 🎲 not a hero ❌ horses 🐎🐴 dad 👨‍👦 tired of dying please stop killing me pleaseee

it's me boy lews therin speaking to you from inside your brain, leave your friends you don't need them, come with me and play my games we'll have dragon times on the astral plane doot do do do yeah you need me boy your free will is an illusion

Mat: Looks like we can't manwhore, mansplain, manipulate our way out of this one.

Rand: Shame...manslaughter it is, then.

‘Luck,’ he muttered. ‘Time to toss the dice.’

Hammar gave him an odd look. ‘You speak the Old Tongue, lad?’

Mat:

‘Where are you from, lad?’

‘Manetheren.’ Mat froze when he heard the name come out of his mouth. ‘I mean, I’m from the Two Rivers. I have heard too many old stories.’

I love this so much because it comes after a chapter of Mat insisting he’s the only normal one left in the gang. 😂😂

headofwolfguard

its kinda funny that Nynaeve and Elayne told Siuan and Leane about keeping Moghedien prisoner and planning to torture her for information indefinitely, because they had absolutely no reason to tell them. like I know Nynaeve wanted to try to use Moghedien to heal them, but she could have just pretended she rediscovered miracles like they did with every Aes Sedai. they 100% were like "if we get in trouble for doing this, you're getting in trouble for being an accomplice"

but also I'm just imagining the scene where they burst into Siuan's room and are like "GUESS WHAT NYNAEVE DID" and Siuan thinking on how she gave Nynaeve permission to hunt Aes Sedai for sport and she came back with a Forsaken on a leash and she's internally like "well I should have expected this honestly"

Verin📚never ask a woman her age😘💁‍♀️lover of books🤓makes great tea🍵☕️spills tea just as well👗💚🟩big fan of green dresses😉

Wheel of time is a silly little story about the world's worst chosen one fucking everything up so badly he needs a polycule to corral him towards being marginally less of a dumbass, while his two best friends become war hero wife guys, and also fuck everything up just as badly. Also there's a lot of hot women who I would thank if they punched me in the face.

Fires of Heaven is a book about people doing increasingly wild shit to try to get Nynaeve’s romantic attention

Mat: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Rand:

Mat: No you’re right never mind.

Rand: this sucks

Moiraine: it do weave like that sometimes

Mat ‘I think with my d*ck’ Cauthon is the only one of the boys with the presence of mind to realize Selene is suspicious af, and that’s why he’s my favorite

Moiraine: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Mat: Mine just says "Mat no."

Moiraine: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

if I've learned anything from Wheel of Time, it's that forget the politicians - it's going to be slighted academics and a hedge fund manager who are gong to destroy the world

Robert Jordan, Lord of Chaos

*Rand opening the door to leave*

Moiraine: And where are you going now?

Rand: I'm going insane. Does anyone want anything?