Mc: He Does The Detecting, I Do The Insulting.

mc: he does the detecting, i do the insulting.

jake: consulting.

mc: that too.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" also known as the warious nonsense that makes sense to me

Featuring: reminders and comments from some fanfics that I surely haven't abandoned for months (maybe I have...)

Thanks for the inspo post @accio-sriracha, now I can freely rant about what goes on in my head on a daily basis :D (check out their post too, it's amazing)

☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆

▪︎ Here goes my heart– I fucking love the Cissy and Fred ship I made. Nothing can make me think otherwise. Frissa 4ever.

▪︎ Cheer up, buttercup. He's totally into you.

▪︎ huh?

▪︎ "Keep up!" Fred's adrenaline rush is one of the worst things ever, you could never keep up

▪︎ "What the hell does he mean by that?" You're not the only one asking, girl, I don't know either

▪︎ ...pasta? (You and I are both staring at that dumbfounded, I still haven't figured it out)

▪︎ huh?? HEH???

▪︎ no no no no DON'T GO IN THERE

▪︎ "Seriously, love?" With THAT look, like 'I should be dissapointed but I cannot so I'm just gonna raise my eyebrows, look down at you and try to hide my smile like Adam Carlsen'

▪︎ Lyra's thoughts (?) [she doesn't have any tho]

▪︎ Whyyy are y'all doing this to me??

▪︎ GUESS WHO HAS TO REWRITE THIS AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER

Damn guys, it's September, I have fucking school tomorrow.

Every characters' first sentence in The afterfire

(May or may not be in order according to timeline 👀)

Hannah: "Richy!"

Lyra: "I swear if this is my destiny, I'd like to see the whole script."

Darkness: "It's good to see you kept your promise, little trouble."

Alan: "Good afternoon, Miss Ambrose."

Jake: "Lyra. Lyra, listen to me..."

Jessy: "Hello?"

Cleo: "I don't know."

Dan: "If someone's playing with us right now, I'm really not up to it!"

Lilly: "Jake?"

Thomas: "Dan, shut up!"

Phil: "Having my day ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do."

Yep, that's all. I'll add more characters as the story progresses (I only have around 19 properly written chapters)

Secret train ride

Summary: Neither of them was supposed to be on that train...

Pairing: Jake Donfort and Lyra Ambrose (my Mc from The afterfire)

Warning: cursing

Inspired by this post

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The platform has perhaps never been so crowded. Weak sunlight penetrated through the high windows, dancing along the dark walls and columns, on the hundreds of lives that ran from one train to another like a swarm of ants. Passengers were informed about a ten-minute delay on the public address system. It's the train that's most important right now, she has to get on it as soon as possible.

Scanning the tracks, she walked through the station. The air smelled heavy of rain. It perfectly reflected Lyra's soul.

Not just one man approached her in broad daylight, but she deftly dodged them, cutting through the crowd wrapped in her thin coat. A train pulled into the station between the others and she jumped on it without wasting a second. With a big sigh, she sat down, soon a woman in a hat folding herself in next to her. The huge white machine just stood still for a long time, Lyra trying to get it going in vain. She must go now or it will be too late.

As if a miracle of the gods had happened, she started the two-hour journey squeaking. Lyra was staring at her phone so hard and still, the woman sitting next to her had doubts about her mental state. But that didn't bother her in the least; another message has been received from the unknown. A demanding, frightening one. He wants her there now, and Lyra is running out of time.

***

She didn't mean to. If it weren't for a kid crying out loud somewhere in the train, her eyes immediately searching for the source of voice, she wouldn't even notice it. Lyra would get off in Duskwood and continue her way into this complete madness. Oblivous to the man's presence in front of her. But this weren't the case, and will not be; because the brown pair of eyes landed on the blackness.

It is no exaggaration to say, he was black from head to toe. Dressed in thick clothes, maybe far too warm for the late rainy May weather, pale white skin peeking through the mess of dark hair at the nape of his neck, curled up at the ears. He was sitting in front of her, his being going almost completely unnoticed by her if she hadn't looked at him painfully precisely. Lyra had to tare her gaze away once her phone started to beep like crazy again.

Jake: I came to inform you of something that will require me to stop communicating with you for a certain period of time.

Jake: I am sure you will be fine with your friends without me. Whatever happens, let me know. I will know about everything that may be important to us. Don't let the Unknown scare you.

Lyra: That's great because I was just about to say the same thing

Jake: What do you mean?

The woman shook her head. For what reason, remained unknown. Was she dissapointed or nervous? Scared?

Lyra: In two hours I arrive in Duskwood

Jake: You can not go there, Lyra. It is very dangerous.

Lyra: Someone has to do something, or the man without a face will

Lyra: That option is NOT favourable for us

Jake: I warn you, Lyra, whatever transport you use, stop now and go back. We will figure out something.

Lyra: You want me to jump off of a moving train?

Sudden silence, as if Jake had frozen. The three points in the corner returned so quickly that she could not spend much time on the former thought, not enough to gain meanings.

Jake: Please do not jump off of a moving train, but get out as soon as it stops in the next station.

Lyra: Okay, so in Duskwood

Jake: No.

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She loved getting the man all worked up, mostly because he doesn't often gets annoyed with her. Yet she couldn't shake the feeling of something being very wrong. He took it for the conditions in Duskwood. In the meantime, the hacker continued to argue, for which her reply was the same every time; she will go to the mine and finally end everything.

It was a sudden movement, so sudden and out of character that Lyra had to glance up at the man in front of her. He sat so still for half the ride that she started to think he was either asleep, dead, or a creep. However, now he was furiously typing on his phone, shoulders under the hoodie tensed. Lyra returned to her messages coming in faster than usual.

Jake: Look, Lyra, you are a very smart woman, we both know this is a terribly idea. Get off of there as soon as you can. For your sake.

Jake: Think about what will happen if Jessica finds out what you are doing.

Jake: If Michael Hanson lied, which he most definitely did, and will not release Hannah and Richy like he said.

Jake: I am already on a train to Duskwood.

The last message sent a shiver down her spine, one so uncomfortable she had to shift in her seat. Her coat wrapped around her body uncomfortably, suffocating.

It can't be. Impossible. She checked the schedules and only this one goes the fastest and earliest to Duskwood, the only express not stopping at every single train station. Maybe he's going with another one. Maybe that one is already close to the location. She shouldn't just jump into assumptions like this.

Something kept whispering she is wrong this time.

Lyra: You are what??

Jake: That is why I do not want you there. I will take care of everything. We are closer to Hannah and Richy than ever.

Lyra swallowed down the unnecessary words, there's really no time for it now.

Lyra: When exactly will you arrive?

Jake: In half an hour.

Lyra: That...

She glanced up at the time on the top of the screen.

Lyra: Is impossible

Jake: It is very much possible.

You are not Jake, her jaw clenched as she repeated this to herself, staring daggers into the man's head in front her. You are not– Her fingers acted faster than her mind could give out the right command, faster than a human should be able to move. The tip of her fingers got lost in the mass of blackness, no longer than a mere second, the turn of his head even quicker than the pace she could have pulled back.

Jake.

She didn't know what he looked like. Never heard his voice or knew more of him than he allowed her. Lyra wouldn't have known it was him, she could have apologized and continued the virtual fight. About to open her mouth to apologize – 'Sorry, I confused you with someone' –, but his eyes betrayed him. They stared back with a wide-open blue, all the feelings that a person can experience passing through them at the speed of light.

"Why are you here?" A voice whispered – with more or less success – the words which all probably came from his moving mouth.

"Why are you here?"

They both stared at each other without a word, and when Lyra excused herself out of the shared seat with big hat woman to sit next to the man, nothing happened. The world didn't collapse, the cure if cancer hasn't been found, no giant lizard entered the Earth's atmosphere. But that also meant Hannah and Richy were still... no. She will not think about them, not when they are sitting so still next to each other it should have been awkward, but wasn't. The way both tried so hard not to touch each other, but the train said otherwise. In every turn and bump they failed miserably.

No, she will not think about them when her last moments of faked peace can be enjoyed. Enjoying is a strong word for such situation, yet she couldn't help the small smile on her lips as they observed each other out of the corner of their eye.

She had to be a bit selfish to not run away from the inevitable.

Y'all I finally finished this after two weeks :D

No proof reading because I might end up not posting this out of tiredness

I'm aware this is an another fandom, but my mind immediately went to the headcanon that:

Jake secretly listening in on Mc one time, because he has to make sure the person he's about to work with is trustrworthy enough, but the next evening he feels odd. Like something is missing. Pacing his room didn't help, nor washing his face, commanding himself to stop tyring to figure it out. So he subconsciously ends up sitting by his computer where Mc's voice is echoing through. This devilous circle repeats every night for weeks, slowly building in itself in his daily routine. Jake even found himself waking up to a slight snoring that certaily wasn't his. Memories of last night flashing in his brain about what has happened; him sitting there in silence while listening to Mc rant about something to Jessy (he remembers every single word of hers), in complete awe of each sound she made. Then came the blurry dots, blinding his eyes, the last thing he remembers hearing being a faint "good night", the darkness swallowing him in whole.

Ever since then he cannot stop himself from not listening to the woman all day, his only, ever so lightly convicing excuse that he keeps repeating to himself being "I'm used to hearing your voice before I go to bed."

This was supposed to be a comment about a two sentence headcanon, but here we go-

alright little guy