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Is this the real life?

Or is it just fantasy?

Sometimes I wonder. Because my thoughts are always busy with work and the only free time I have in the evenings is spent on my phone scrolling.

I want to go back to regular no-screen life but then I have nothing to do, it feels like. And doing something requires effort of imagination to come up with an activity. Which is… tiring.

so the vicious circle continues 😂😭

I’m currently at that point in my life where my past feels painfully nostalgic. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before, I just lived and looked into the future, but now is different.

I guess this is me getting old. I cry almost every day and this thing happens when I suddenly stop in my tracks and experience deep sudden mental pain, where my mind is filled with pictures of my childhood and all the people I loved and lost through the years. This reminds me of how fast time flies and I get super anxious about the future.

I don’t know what to do with all these feelings but at least I let it all out. Yup 👍🏻

im sad

idk why but my new fic isn’t showing on the hashtag pages T____T small posts are completely fine as you can see, but the long ones are only visible in my blog... does anybody else have the same problem? I’ve been absent from tumblr for ages, so maybe I don’t know new rules? 

I remember writing my first Skam fic four years ago. I started with an idea of social anxiety because I was also anxious. I saw myself in the character I created and probably hoped that writing all my fears down in that way would help me. That was the first time that I unconsciously dove into therapy.

Yes, writing is therapeutic. And if you’re feeling down, if your thoughts overwhelm you to the point that you feel there’s no space left to breathe, write it down. Write down everything that comes to mind and later you’ll realise that you are talking to someone, spilling your soul out. Do it. Right now.

Wow I just logged in for the first time in a year I think and I read my last post and felt so relieved.

I'm not feeling that way anymore.

I don't even recall why I felt that way in the first place. Some of you even messaged me asking if I was okay. Sorry I didn't answer. When I got the messages I wasn't in the right mind to answer. Still, thank you.

Mental health is important, guys. If youre feeling down, seek help. Even if no one really cares (what was my case, you're not the only one like this), YOU care. You should take care of yourself. Read, watch YouTube on the topic, try to find people who are going through the same stuff. Try watching what qualified psychotherapists have to say about it. Books, videos... Understanding how your mind works removes fear of unknown. Stepping away from emotions and looking at everything from a logical perspective can save lives.

I would have never thought that I would like the 2nd season of "13 reasons why" even more than the 1st. I was like 'what could it possibly be about, the story's over' but WOAHHH

Please bring back "a love like this".Pretty please :)Lots of love from Israel _

Hellooo, anon!I really want to finally finish translating the third chap, but there’s so much going on right now. I know I’m not the most loyal writer, and I’m so sorry, but it takes so much time for me to write even one single chapter, because of the language issues. But I still remember about that fic, and maybe when this mess is finally over, I’ll try to take some time taking care of that story too. I’m going on a vacation in a week, and I’ll try to find some time for myself, hide from my squad in some corner with a laptop and write something eventually ;)))))))))))Love, S.

It's not a question, it's begging. Please post more episodes of your amazing fafictions !!! You left me in serious cliffhanger . I'm desperate :(

Hi hey hiiiiOh, I’m sorry that you have to beg for the next chapter. But it is taking me so long only because I have finals right now, and I sometimes don’t have enough time to eat and sleep, not to mention any other activities. Please, bear with me. I will eventually update, I promise.Love,s.

What Fanfic Writers Are Like

Readers: We'd really like an update.

Writers: Yeah me too.

The last words in 2017

Since I have a blog now, I can't miss an opportunity to write a couple of words for myself, for my readers and for everyone out there feeling vulnerable and scared at some points of their lives.

2017 has been the most challenging and the most life-changing for me. I got a little bit closer to understanding of who I am, although I have a lot of work to do still, but being able to finally let go and breathe was a true breakthrough. I haven't seen the light for several years, I think, but now, at the end of 2017 I can say without a doubt that my soul has found some desired peace and realization. I think I owe most of this to the ability of writing and sharing. And also to the chance of getting such a warm welcome and feedback from a lot of nice people all over the world.

I'm not that experienced in life, but I know one thing: that everything we feel comes from the inside, no matter how hard the outer world presses us. Yes, there are some cases, when people can be extremely cruel and can significantly worsen our mental or physical health, but it's our own duty to get ourselves out of this. I believe that everything starts with ourselves.

I stoped blaming others. I started doing the things I love. I started speaking up. I started respecting my feelings and treating my body with care. And although I want someone kind and caring to love me, so I could give the same love back, I know that first of all I need to take care of my life myself, before sharing my world with another person. Which is a great responsibility, if you want other person to live happily too. I'm not saying somebody's love can't cure you. I'm saying that at first you need to try and do it yourself, because no one knows you better. And if there's someone out there, who is generous enough to teach me how to live in unconditional love every day, I will treasure it and take care of it just like I would have done it with my love for myself [which each one of you owes to yourself too, always and forever].

I love me and I love all of you. The only thing that matters is love, and though we often tend to forget about it, I will repeat it again - for you and for me.

I'm not that good with words when I get overwhelmed or too emotional, but I still want you to know that you matter.

Happy New 2018. Let it be fantastic. And lets make more magic in the Change of plans universe. Take care <3

Omg I'm so sorry, I accidentially deleted someone's ask, saying they love my fic and asking me where I am from.

{I'm still so new at tumblr :///}

I am so thankful for all the encouraging comments. I am from Russia, I live by Moscow time. English is not my mother tounge, and you don't really get much practice here unless you studied it at school/Uni (which is my case). But I still work on my writing skills every day and I hope I'm gradually getting better at this (when I started this fic in summer, I honestly thought it wouldn't last more than a chapter - that is how not used to writing in English I was). And all of you keep encouraging me so much, sometimes I don't even understand why. Love you so much for this. Skam fandom is the best.

Xo. - S.