Feeling Thoughtful About Them

Feeling… thoughtful… about them……

These recent chapters doin numbers for my brain waves. Give me more, Oda, i stg.

If Will dies first, it is obvious Hannibal would cannibalize Will’s flesh. Hannibal mourned Mischa by eating her, and he would do the same for Will; to consume and eat and incorporate is part of grieving. But what would Hannibal do with Will’s bones? He’d eat the marrow, maybe make soup from them, but what of the calcified parts that remain, the parts that can’t be eaten?

I don’t really see him just keeping them around or displaying them, something stagnant and to be ogled. Burying them in the family plot in Lithuania makes sense because Will is family, but it also requires Hannibal to go back to a place he can’t go. Hannibal could cremate the bones, but then what? Spreading the ashes doesn’t seem like something he would do; he can’t know what happens to them. Keeping Will in an urn on his desk or a shelf also feels out of character, a memory collecting dust.

What if Hannibal had Will’s ashes pressed into pencil lead? There are ways to compress ashes into something that could be written with or drawn. What if Hannibal draws Will with his own ashes, commemorating him in a completed cycle. Sketching the man with his own remains. Remembering Will as he saw him, recreating moments they shared from Hannibal’s mind palace. Having Will live forever in depictions of himself. Hannibal would never be truly left behind. And Hannibal would sharpen the pencils as he always had; he isn’t unfamiliar with taking a blade to Will. Shaving off a layer but keeping him sharp.

Displaying and keeping art made from Will’s ashes would mean so much more than a reconstructed skeleton or an urn on a shelf or a plot that would become overgrown with weeds. He could draw Will in motion, alive, as he wished to remember him, and create moments and memories they didn’t get to experience together.

When that episode happens in Stampede I hope that it's a combination of the church and the couch. I hope that they sit in front of the altar, I hope that they lean on it. I hope that the roof is destroyed and that you can see the ship from within. I hope that the little papers look like flower petals and that the bottle looks like a bouquet. I hope he tries to smile but fails.

I hope I cry.

its the way chayanne only died bc he was trying to help phil and tallulah, he was still up and could've swam away once he revived phil, but that just isn't how chayanne is, is it? he had to die protecting someone. even if it meant nothing in the end and they all died.

its the way tallulah was in the middle of writing a sign, her most prominent form of communication. it's how she was frantically scribbling something down to phil and was downed during it. it's how she died right next to the other two, even when chayanne was trying to get to them. it's how she's only been on this planet for a week, less, and already has died and come back to life

its how phil was trying to stay calm and yet was frantically telling chayanne to res him so he could get to tallulah, it's how he realised there was no hope, he just started apologising to chayanne, over and over, told him that the island didn't want them to live, was so upset that he called upon the island itself to fix its mistake or incur his fucking wrath

And I'm officially insane,

wilbur's perspective on parenthood is rooted only in tallulah's emotional wellbeing, but that neglects her physical wellbeing. wilbur is similar to tallulah in that both of them are rather new to the world, and neither understand the atrocities that have already taken place. wilbur believes that he only needs to emotionally equip tallulah, and he can take care of the rest. he frequently tells her how much he loves her, he sings to her, he goes the extra mile to make sure she knows that he's proud of her. all of this is great and absolutely necessary, but wilbur is not giving her the final necessary thing in this world: physical protection. he doesn't understand that he won't always be there to protect her, even though he knows that he'll literally be away for long periods of time. he doesn't understand how easy it is for these eggs to break. he doesn't understand that people will kill her for the sake of killing her. and as a result, he doesn't feel the need to give her armor or weapons. wilbur thinks that he can protect her physical wellbeing because he'll always be there, but he's mistaken. at least if she dies, she'll do so knowing that she's loved. but she'll be dead anyway, and it'll be wilbur's fault.

okay im gonna be aggressive about this actually wil doesn't get to show up after two weeks of phil being the second best dad on the entire fucking server (after roier) and start throwing implications about phil being a terrible father and the fandom eating it up

like wil is Objectively Incorrect that phil shouldn't be raising his kids as warriors. tallulah Will die if she doesn't at least get armor and a sword for self defense. phil's house seems paranoid but chayanne would be dead now if not for it.

qsmp phil is a good dad actually no matter how much wil wants to give his own character some angst at phil's expense