
The ship that floats beneath the surface. For further questions or inquiries please DM my Discord: red_ig
135 posts
Xxv.g: Destroyer,haha, If That Crazy Nonsense Even Makes Sense ... Yeah I Understand, And You May Have
xxv.g: Destroyer, haha, if that crazy nonsense even makes sense ... “Yeah I understand, and you may have slipped … but you've regained or never really lost, that part of you I've always known, which was your honesty and ability to fess up your mistakes … but why so hell-bent though on acquiring those old memories and way of things, even in the name of rebuilding? Aren't they the reasons you kind of collapsed in the first place? Would it not be too dangerous trying to gather all of that, I mean you're basically risking everything every time you regain a shade, and the more you get the less … Good … shades that'll be available for you … your risk to reward ratio … well it'll become more and more unbalanced as you go on” Yeah in a way, they were responsible, they built a path that lead to the shatter, and yeah … it'll only become more and more of a shit show as I progress further. But, I have to do something, gotta keep moving forward, I have nothing else to do otherwise, except live in regret and rot … I feel like an outsider to my own life as it stands now, a mere guest in this house, and I remember looking back through memory, the power I held over my own life, that I seriously lack now … I just don't know how I acquired that presence I had when I walked around, and how that made people talk to me, when I try to go mimic what I did in the past now … it just … fails hard, I get weird looks or get called an asshole or insensitive, I just make things awkward, etc … it's all just … wrong. “You are different … I know and see it, but” *She turned towards me, put her right hand on top of my left, that was resting on the couch* “I'm very content with who I'm talking to … you don't have to become … yourself, again … for me or anyone else to love or respect you. I also would much rather you be who you are now … if that means you'll stay safe.” *I start to feel my heart rush a little* I can feel her hand in more detail … soft, warm, and so damn light, feels strange, and so different from the gut puncher from earlier … guess this was partially why I liked The Imp … [To Be Continued]

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myahawkins liked this · 1 year ago
More Posts from Soir-rouges-esprit
xxv.c: Destroyer, I will not wait idol as vultures pick her life apart, to watch her diminish … and shatter … she supports me now, further than most, and for more reasons than not to do the opposite, but she persists, even through some of the resisting Wrath that gets loose here and there, she in search of gaining dominance, without knowing, has become indomitable … I idolize her and that type of progression, because only truly amazing individuals and their already jaw-dropping pursuits like hers of becoming a new and more socially capable person against all odds, are capable of building and gaining such traits in passing while accomplishing their goals in totality … it's fucking insane … especially since they never seem to know just how great they really are, I love them. So off I made my way to the danger den that she housed in, I got to the front door, lined in gold with thick large doors made of metal and marble that was white as quartz, and looked like a palace entrance. I open the large doors and walk to the elevator, the inner front desk/hall looked like it was pulled from a steampunk novel, dark oak half-walls topped with classical-looking wallpaper, lined in copper and bronze finishes and trim. With a clean expertly embroidered and designed red thick carpet over the marble flooring. I take the elevator all the way up to the top, a full 126 floors, The Douglas Building. Walk down to her door and knocked … I waited … then I heard what sounded like someone press against the door, the peephole was broken and blocked so she wasn't looking through that, then I heard her voice “h-hello? … who's there?” The fucking milkman, now let … before I could finish, the door swung open with force and speed so fast, it felt as if a small vacuum was created and sucked in all the air. She was spread all out in a pose like she was about to prepare for a tackle, one hand still on the door, her face filled with nothing but determination and concentration, then her head tilted down slightly and she hunched forewarned like she was about to compete in an Olympic sprint, I kept my eye on her face, it darkened to near black, slightly obscured, then … a red gleam came from her right eye AND ZOOM!!! She bolted at me with lightning speeds, I swear she broke the sound barrier at that moment, by the time I realized what was happening, her fist was planted about an inch in my gut, then … an Explosive Blast of air came from her fist, it sent a Shockwave that shook the hall and sent me flying at the wall, I hit the door opposite of hers and collapse to the ground in a slobbering gasp “AND THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR LEAVING ME HERE FOR SO LONG!!! What the Hell is wrong with you Huh!?!?!? Do you know how much shit I went through trying to secure your entrance to The City? You know you can't just fucking walk right in, Right!?!” Tbh … it didn't really cross my mind how I was so easily allowed to walk into The City gates without any stops or hiccups, it was definitely now in retrospect because of the support of her and probably The Knight and Jester. Sorry!? *bloody cough* The fuck boot licker … you didn't have to send my gut a fucking ICBM … shit. “Like fucking hell I didn't! Where the hell have you been?” The Over Garden “The Over Garden?!? Why’d you go there?” I went to stand and catch my breath. I went to gather myself and destress from entering The City … it was a little more than overwhelming, which I wasn't expecting when I reentered … so I needed some time. “Oh … well why didn't you say anything to me? I would have loved to know that before you just up and vanished” she stepped inside of her apartment again and to the side of the door hugging it, then motioned to come inside. I walk in take my bag and set it on her countertop then unfold the top, she closes the door and says “You know … you look like someone who has spent the night outside, go use my shower; don't … ” *Out Popped Ein from my bag* “*Scream* WOAH!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?! YOU HAVE A FUCKING RACOON IN YOUR BAG” ... [To Be Continued]

xxv.a: Destroyer,
I walk from The Over Garden to The City streets, Ein stood upon my shoulder and nibbled my ear, I waved him off, Damn … you certainly are a hungry little fucker aren't yah? *Squeak* yeah yeah … here you go. I handed him what was left of his little granola bar, he seemed content. Now … into the bustling streets again, passing down the heavily populated street, the noise the traffic the mere presence of it all, was overbearing … again … but not as bad as it was, not for me at least, Ein started to freak out and put his face in his hands to cover his eyes and ears, I opened the sack top and he scurried into the bag in a hurry. Sorry, Ein … didn't really think much on how The City would affect you. Apologies. I walk down the street and realize I am much closer to The Imps apartment than I had previously thought, it was strange maybe to me alone … but you see … The Imp with all of her faults, baggage, terrible cooking, inability to take care of herself, general lack of knowledge on anything mechanical especially with maintenance of such things, horrible if not downright terrifying merging skills while driving with the inability to use a blinker, the almost offensive way she sorts her silverware and cutlery while never doing the dishes Ever! The way she pronounces museum as mu-zay-um, how she is terribly smart but cannot plan anything for shit (Even weeks in advance) making very arbitrary/illogical life choices pretty much weekly AND … she was probably the least organized person ever … she was … chaos incarnate. She was … really amazing when you got to know her. But, despite all of the previous, she was probably the most hard-working/talented person I knew, she was quite successful (Despite her moronic attempts to say otherwise) she ironically in a way, carefully prepared and organized a life built on her passions … and damn is it hard to not go slack-jawed looking at all she's accomplished. She wasn't just some nepo-baby that kind of coasted their way to the top or to a successful position either … back in the day, The Imp would work two jobs and side hustle working music venues, playing even against the tide of boos and shit little comments from hecklers of origin no one cares of. She was … unforgettable … she had struggled for years and years, getting kicked around, abused, and abandoned … she like I and really all like-minded individuals that coast to my shores, were Trauma Born … life being easy and especially happy, was not written in her contract on life, if anything … the opposite. During early life, she had struggled in a home that was cracked and splitting, yet never did, constantly at odds with fearing her life would be instantly uprooted and everything evaporated, to everything being stable and forgetting any war had taken place. Trusting people was hard because for her she had to constantly wonder when the air/tension would just change, she naturally and slowly had built a wall around herself out of defense … one that had been broken down by some … only for them to light fire inside and leave her to deal with the damage/regret. She was defensive, protective, and aggressive, especially when claiming/defending any social ground made in her life, especially for people and loved ones. Back before my grand shatter and sink to the bottom of The Sea of Nightmares, and before The Imp had left for college, we were strongly knitted together, she was basically a General in my grand torturous army, or me in hers, didn't matter really … We were two hatred bound aggravated dark creatures lurking and assaulting any and all that couldn't take the heat of our brutality … we crushed people practically for a living, for fun. She was always enamored by my domination and control of situations where I should have had none in, she was always curious and loved to see me at work when it came to dismantling someone, both physically and or mentally … little did I know exactly how far the curiosity/admiration would go and as for why till later. But she and I were ... [To Be Continued]

xxv.b: Destroyer, curiosity/admiration would go and as for why till later. But she and I were ... one and the same, we bonded over blood spilled often and easily, even if that bloodshed was of our own and inflicted damage from others or even each other towards one another, conversing over scars physical and mental like wartime soldiers. She to me … The Imp … the aggressive non-stop consistent barrage hate bearing, death-by-a-thousand-cuts warlord that always succeeded when given any task. For her I … The Destroyer … The control demanding, dominating force of destruction to any and all things, ready and capable of burning the world and its opposition to my rule, with a glance. However … it goes without saying, that when I shattered and fell, The Imp was not aware of such a change … in fact when she and I reunited … she analyzed me for a couple days without breaking the silence hidden in shadow, because she was understandably confused at the Red she was viewing, the Red that had become rather than what she had remembered … The Imp, hated, change … but in time she started to realize just how much I had altered and adapted, and as to why. She even applauded my efforts and called me a “Psychotic Gambler” that “Threw the god of all hail mary's and risked it all stupidly and only! by the worlds largest ever seen luck cash out for one person … did you succeed … never try that again because you'll certainly fail” or something like that … … … But, she was right … and in her analysis of me … She realized just how much she had changed, and how different life really was from the past to now, how many people had left us both and how memories had both turned more sour or sweet. It changed her and I both to rejoin and talk, especially about those fallen members of the past, and how The Cazbium itself was hijacked/eroded and decrepit, that our once grand empire … had fallen. Why I thought it so odd that she was located so close to The Over Garden, was because of how isolated she had been and why she chose the location she did, which realistically was an overpriced place that was far from everything, if not make things incredibly difficult to get to if she did wanna venture out to the places and experiences that were close by, it seemed like she wanted to change, in her coming back from her long isolation, but that she was in a way building walls or positioning herself downhill from her uphill goals, and for The Imp, like stated before, she was not restricted to this place to live, she could tomorrow up and move to anywhere she'd like, so it seemed uncharacteristic, it seemed off, because even if she were to change like I have, she would never purposely put herself in such a situation as she has, without very good reason. Why? I wondered … but it started to click to me her reasons, or more so, a reason, she liked to look down from the ivory tower that was her apartment, down into The Over Garden ... not in malice or to boost her ego of success and to belittle … no … because she liked to escape without actually leaving. The world had stabbed and tortured her every time she had left, every time she had made any venture out to change, probably why she hated the very thought of it … looking out that window and down on the real greenery that overcame the barriers of society, that gained control and power, that dominated … was something she sought after, that allowed her to escape her situation at least mentally, or at least, to find freedom even in a confined controlled space … life for The Imp however I believe, and I think she'd agree, is a lavish fully built world surrounded by nothing else but her devices/vices of enjoyment … which is great … however … a prison painted with rainbows ... is still a prison indeed. And sooner than later, we both knew it'd crush her to stay the way she was and has been living, so now as others do, I watch … but unlike others, I will not wait idol as vultures pick her life apart, to watch her diminish … [To Be Continued]

xxvi.d: Son of Salem, “Yeah but can't be too sure, also I'm terrible with names so, I gotta REALLY cram them in my head or I'll forget.” ... I see … you … strange aren't yah? “Understatement … bet you're no different.” I raised my glass to cheers. She picks her glass up, and we cheers in unison. I'd rather be weird than not honestly, used to think the opposite, wished I was normal so much that I would have rather died then be weird. “Yeah … I know what you mean, for a long time I kind of was just … me and grossly tall and slender. No one really wanted to hang out with me so I was kind of outcasted.” I understand … I have a friend who's freakishly tall, his words not mine, who lived kind of the same way all his life, but he managed to deal with that and now he's a successful guy, wife, kids … etc. “Sounds inspiring, bet he's awesome.” That and much more, you should meet him sometime! … that is … if I can find him. “If?” Yeah, he's kind of running around The City right now … doing his thing dealing with things kind of like me, so … yeah. “Well that sounds cool! I'd love to help you find him!” Really? I mean … yeah, we can do that I guess, Not now however, I gotta find this other guy named Vigor first but After! I promise. And in return, I'll help you find your Elaine. “Ahhhh HELL YEAH” She wrapped her muscled-up arm around me and raised her glass high. “I'm liking you already! Ok then deal. Here.” She slips me her number that was written on a recipe she got from her purse. “NOW … We drink.” And so we did, for God only knows how long. We parted ways and said goodbye. Then I continued my search down through The City streets and alleyways, asking up down left right … EVERYWHERE … for anything on Vigor. I wanted to see if I could find anything on him before venturing off to the abandoned district. I heard mostly nothing … some said they heard rumors he'd already joined Wrath and was absorbed by Body. Some said he died during the shatter. I couldn't imagine either was the truth … but possible. *Sigh* Fine … fuck it. I started to head towards the abandoned district. Fuck me … this better not be an ongoing theme for the rest of these shards. On another note, The Jester is also walking these streets … I should find him soon as well, maybe hash out some things that went left unsaid before, reassure the happy sad clown that he's wanted here. Reminds me of the time we went into our ROTC locker room and stole The Knights custom ordered-sized twenty-one shoes and were wearing them on our feet stomping around laughing. We got caught and our “Commanding Officer” fuckin blow hard. Chewed us out in front of everyone, telling The Jester he was a waste of air, that he'd amount to nothing … he didn't take it personally at first, least I thought he didn't, but then a few wee … *Crack* I start to fall and my vision goes black … something hit me in the back of the head. I black out … … … I start to come to … I can't see anything … I can feel vibrations in the floor? Loud trap music with a Spanish artist is blaring from a radio … my vision came in a little, but was blocked by … a plastic bag? It was translucent and had red lettering on the other side that read. “Better Fresh, Nowhere Else” I start to wiggle around, my hands and feet bound by some kind of tethering. Some man speaks in Spanish, another man replies, then a third speaks, and they have a mini conversation. Then, they must have seen me moving, they ripped the bag off my head. My eyes were then immediately blasted with a phone light. As my eyes adjusted, I started to see a man crouched down, in front of me, we're in the back of some kind of service van. He says to me. “Think you can fuck with business HUH?” He hits be so hard in the head I fall over on my side. My ear starts to ring like hell. AHhahHHahhaa, Fuck! “You run away! You think we didn't know what you did?” Agh … fucking shit my ears ringing you cuck. He stands slightly and kicks me in the gut. UGHT!!! *Cough* Fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck are you talking about? He spits on my face ... [To Be Continued]

xxiv.a: Recompile, as I walked within the crowd, bumping shoulders with shades of old and new, I started to think of what was next? A new person was practically born when I walked through those gates … I had felt a slight burn walking down the street, breathing in the smog hovering oh so casually above the slick finished street, black as tar, smooth as cream. The number of shades that were going to side with me was somewhat unknown/ insignificant in the war ahead. But here I was … no turning back now, it was succeed or be caught down the drain of the ever ensuing blood bath. So where to first? Whom to visit and see first? I had to prepare carefully … choose … carefully. If I were to run into the wrong shade at the wrong time, it could spell instant ego death with the full price of everything I wished to achieve along with it. So … I needed to breathe, disassociate a little, and take a view from outside this walking prison … I walked for at least a couple hours at least … until I remembered … the city had a large unoccupied district completely overgrown by nature. District label F-CXT, or just The Over Garden, untouched by governing bodies for more than a decade, The Over Garden was closer in resemblance to the apocalyptic cities from the books/movies I had read/watched in the past, where the story took place like a few hundred years after the bombs had dropped, where skyscrapers still loomed but were almost completely surrounded by trees and vines/moss, animals were everywhere, deer frolicking twitching their noses of black with curious nature based in innocence chewing on green fresh leaves, with birds flying fast and sharp around the dead districts over taken streets, to the opossum mother, carrying her little opossum babies like little bags over her back, seven in number, fourteen little black eyes looking all in my direction as they disappeared into the bushel. I walked deep into the district, taking it all in, I felt as if everything was quiet, but not silent … as I could still hear the sounds of nature fill my ears … until I heard what sounded like water flowing? I thought it odd, maybe a pipe had burst and started to spew water? But that didn't make much since, I was positive this district was completely disconnected from the rest of The City, despite it being located within The City … meaning no maintenance, no regulation, no power, and certainly … no water. All the sub-water systems should be cut off, or well … literally welded shut. So I walked off into the distance toward the sound, as I approached and shuffled through the bushes and low-hanging tree canopies, I was met with a little pond that had developed in the center of an old main street, right between two skyscrapers … I walk to the embankment of the pond and look to my left … nothing but thick forest … look to my right … nothing but streetways and eroded/degraded skyscrapers and infrastructure overtook by vines and moss … I put my hands on my hips and sit with thought for a moment … “Here, do it here” I start to gather sticks, old newspapers, and really anything flammable within my general area. I make a small campfire at the end of the pond, center of the street of the side with the buildings. I sit by the fire … why did it take me this long to realize who I needed to see? … why did I let all those people walk all over me? ... Why’d I even take a second to breathe in the air around all those people who made me sick to even think? Why did I let anyone in? I should have known from life past lived that no one here is playing a part that is not with some evil intent … they are all just “Bad Actors” playing to pry open my inner thoughts to use my personality to their improvement their gain and amusement … Why did I play their little obvious charades at all? I didn’t in the past, I was the game master, not the pawn awaiting their moves and their actions … where did it all go wrong? The fire crackled and burned … glowing even brighter it had seemed … [To Be Continued]
