PafL

PafL

Parties are for Losers

From Ferry

You can find it on YouTube for free.

Each song describes some events, usually from the same narrator throughout one song.

It uses Vocaloids which can be interesting.

another ask yayy

I am a massive Vocaloid nerd. you've discovered my weakness.

see you with an analysis soon.

sometimes you spend so much time writing horrible aus for your silly little multiverse fic that you forget this game actually has a good ending.

why not put the worst thing i have ever made here too.

context: dreamscape au. may apply to the actual canon if you want. (???)

art by me. song is that one kuromi ai cover of 679. based off something i found on insta.

OCD in Hello Charlotte 3, or why Charles Eyler doesn't (necessarily) have Dissociative Identity Disorder

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR HELLO CHARLOTTE 3

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of severe mental illness, including intrusive thoughts and psychosis. Please be warned if this may cause you to spiral out of control, and take care of yourself.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of this is coming from my personal experience and understanding of OCD. While I do not experience DID, I don't really focus much on it in this, more reframing Scarlett Eyler as a character. You can take Charles' experiences however you feel is accurate.

I feel like the fandom gets tripped up when Charles calls Scarlett Eyler a tulpa.

I've seen a lot of people state that this quote directly implies Charles has DID, and that's therefore canon. But I'd actually like to propose a different take, that Scarlett is a physical manifestation of Charles' intrusive thoughts.

First of all, a tulpa implies a sense of desire - it is willingly created through spiritual meditation. Scarlett is, in no way, a desired existence that haunts Charles. There is some debate as to whether or not the game was originally in Russian or English, but regardless, tulpa just may be what Charles refers to the phenomenon as. It's not as if this directly confirms anything, as we know in-game Charles is only diagnosed with autism, and takes medication for psychosis.

Charles experiences many symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD in particular. He is intensely preoccupied with purity and disease, insisting that the majority of the population has a "parasite", aside from a select few people (Vincent being one of them, and by the end, the only one).

OCD and psychosis have several unique overlaps when acting as comorbid conditions. It has a relatively high comorbidity, due to both conditions often suffering with heightened paranoia. I couldn't find any research which suggests it can cause the hallucination of intrusive thoughts, but OCD does make people more susceptible to hallucinatory disorders, and vice versa.

Many people with OCD, especially those who have experienced symptoms since being a child, start to conceptualise these thoughts as a being - appearing as imaginary friends which act and react negatively. It definitely happened to me - I genuinely thought I had DID for a year or so of my life, because I had this voice in my head that hated me, and it didn't feel like myself. As a child, it just felt like my own mind was trying to bully me, and I didn't understand why.

We know that Scarlett Eyler is the instigator of "punishment" for Charles' actions...

This sort of "punishing" is very reminiscent of OCD. The rule-breaking itself is confusing to an outsiders, and the punishments even more so. However, I find this rule-and-punishment system very relatable, and I'd argue that some people with OCD might have even more confusing rules and punishments - for example, I can't watch very specific youtube videos, I can't explain what the rules I have surrounding them are, and I have strange punishments for this (that which I will not disclose).

Scarlett also doesn't exhibit typical alter behaviour. She never takes over, Charles doesn't seem to lose time, she does little more than act as a harsh observer, and also physically threaten Charles. She seems very real to him, aside from the fact that he knows taking pills will make her "disappear".

For Charles, Scarlett is simply a being who threatens and instigates intrusive thoughts, but in a particular way. Charles still experiences other intrusive thoughts - Scarlett never discusses the parasites, even though that's a very prevalent fear of Charles'.

Scarlett is the manifestation of intrusive thought that Charles is a failure, rather than being a separate existence to Charles.

my little rat analysis lmaoooo. this was my first hello charlotte one, i've always loved charles, he's just peak gender in so many ways, incredibly relatable.

hope your little polycule goes well salutes

meet the me:

certified wet rat-like mess and omori lover

pansexual, trans guy, he/him

The Omori Dreamscape AU Fan of all time

myboyfriedn is soft nd ilikehim

never sleep enough, am terrified of everything all the time including my own insane hyperfixations

chronic intrusive thoughts, sometimes i talk about my experiences with OCD

i write analyses when im meant to be doing uni shit bc for some reason i cant do anything until ive finished an already planned analysis

i wrote a fun AU where i gave Mari OCD because i needed a means for processing my own OCD - it's here. i'm quite proud of it, i think it's a pretty good exploration of her non-existent character lol.

i can voice act mari, sweetheart, dreamscape's candace and maybe aubrey if i try.

other things i enjoy: any etherane games, vocaloid, zelda botw/totk, scott pilgrim takes off, splatoon (octo expansion), wanshengjie, danganronpa, oshi no ko, bojack horseman, my friends

posting tiny snippets of fanfic until someone finds it interesting and i am motivated to finish it, part 2

warning: major omori spoilers, mentions of death.

[KEL MULTIVERSE 1 - 332]

Kel pulled out a small glowing tulip bud from his backpack, white, clear and crystalline, made of glass. It reflected the glow of the blue fire, but it also flickered with its own blue colour. Kel could almost see the universe held inside it, a calm sunset, four friends; then a cold graveyard, a delusional child. 

That one was a fucking disaster. Again.

At least he now knew ‘The Truth’ for that Kel. Although, really, the killing of someone else always seemed to set off the chain of death. 

Murderers, that’s what we all are, Kel thought to himself, rotating the glass.

Resisting the urge to smash it into pieces, he sighed, tossing it into the river. After all, he might have to fish all these out again sometime, so it would be worth trying to keep the functional ones around, but out of sight. He watched the glow dim as the flower sank into the acidic waves, like a lost ship taking its final breaths.

As he drifted off to sleep, Kel wondered how many crystalline flowers he had left. How much time he had left. The world closed in around his fear, where he would sleep through nightmares in numbed horror.

In these nightmares, he watched everyone die over and over, dead bodies being dragged to hiding places and graves being dug, weeping parents. He saw an echo of his past self relive the worlds again and again, a naive child who thought positivity would solve everything, banging at closed doors and crying quietly in a bathroom, breakdowns in front of five corpses. He saw only failure and husks, shells of humanity. 

Happiness doesn’t work. Happiness stopped working.

Tonight, yet again, there was a girl with dark brown hair, clutching a stuffed toy, happy and innocent… a girl with faded pink dye in her hair, clutching her hands, empty inside… a girl with bright pink hair and green coloured contacts, gripping a bat, furious… a boy with blue hair and a beanie,... many more, standing around him, enclosing him… but they all had the same golden eyes, the ones that bore into him.

My name’s Aubrey. Who are you? 

Hey. Who are you?

New kid, huh? Who are you, then?

I’m Rei. Who are you?

They repeated the questions, but he had no answer. He couldn’t speak, words failed him, so they encircled him like sharks, bats looming over his head, sky darkening, vision darkening…

Who have you become?

Kel turned in his sleep, covering his head as if to block something out.

Outside his mind, feeble glows pulsed synchronically at the bottom of the river, distress calls for dead universes.