"ugh, Who Even Invented Winter?" Udyati Pouts. "it's So Cold!"

"ugh, who even invented winter?" udyati pouts. "it's so cold!"

        for the first time in weeks, allie feels alive, and of course it would be udyati to do so. from beneath the snow, she could feel her plants chittering as someone crossed through them, and she knew from the gentleness from the walk it was her best friend, even before she felt udyati, herself. the cool almost mist she seems to bring fills the air behind her as she walks, and allie nearly flings herself into it before udyati opens the door. her arms wrap around udyati's shoulder, squeezing and squeezing and not caring at all about how cold she is, how cold her skin is, even colder than usual. " ud! i missed you so much, so much! you came! i've been dreaming about it for, like, ever! " in her dreams, this was perfect. in her dreams, her voice doesn't crack like porcelain, delicate and underused. in her dreams, it's just like now, of course, because udyati is here and nothing is wrong in all of the world. she giggles at her comment about winter, drawing udyati towards the couch, covering them both up with blankets. " well, if the winter plants and animals didn't have a time to live, that just wouldn't be fair! that's what my mom always told me. but ... " she sighs, but she finds that the usual resistance to talking about the scary, heavy things isn't there. she squeezes udyati's hand. " but it's hard. like, really hard. some days, i don't even feel like i'm- like i'm here. "

“ unpossession. ”

Willow didn't expect her to understand, not really. She thinks this kind of pain might be beyond her. Not pain, but - the darkness of it. The tar-black hands reaching down from the depths of Willow's soul where even Allie's bright light can't shine. Where nobody's can. She doesn't expect her to believe her, she doesn't expect Allie to be able to say anything that will make her feel any kind of warm. But she does. She surprises her, with the love that pours out of her. So certain and so kind and so sure that Willow is deserving of it.

"I love you, Allie..." Willow whispers. There's not much more that she can bring herself to say. She believes her. She believes that Allie sees something in her that Willow just can't, she believes that Willow is worthy of her love and so she is worthy of her love. The way that Taylor made her believe she wasn't. The way that Augusta's departure made her believe she would never feel alive again. Allie loves her, and that's all that matters for now. All that can matter. She sniffles, she chokes down all that sorrow bubbling out of her mouth because it isn't worth it here, while Allie's love exists. "I'm sorry I went away. It was all too much..."

        she wishes she could will away the worry, cover it up so she wouldn't have to think about it. she finds that the worry is even harder to tuck away at times like now, when she already feels so heavy and ... and worthless. that's what she feels. like she can't help willow and there's nothing good she can do. the fairy girl swallows all of that and holds willow tighter, solider, confirming that this isn't another dream of hers where willow is whisked away from her at the end. again.

        " it's okay, i understand. it- it just ... i just ... " pink petals are tucked away, bitten under teeth. " people leave me, and they don't come back. " she shouldn't bring more sad, more dark, more deep and ugly and unwanted, but she can't help it. her hands, fingernails grip at her own skin where they rested, digging. " i'm sorry- i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said anything, i didn't- i didn't mean- i was- i was just scared. i was- i was scared you- you wouldn't- " you wouldn't come back to me. and allie doesn't know if she could've handled that, handled willow leaving her. leaving her like her mother, leaving her like everyone else. but it hurts to say things like that, and it's untrue. she hasn't even said it, and she wishes she could take it back. something hot pricks at her eyes like thorns, shining them like a doll's. don't cry, allie. don't cry over something silly, something in your own head. " i'm sorry, i love you. i just- i don't wanna lose you, not ever. "

one thing abt allie's cottage... rugs are Everywhere

everyone should come hang out in the woods with allie btw :] (u will be lost for several days. maybe weeks if u find the cottage)

body reference/claim.  ˎˊ˗             i don't know how to describe things so u Will look at my video game barbie model of allie instead. version one (top version) is without the height slider mod and is a normal sim's height. allie is not a normal sim's height, she is 4'11, so i used the height slider mod to try to emulate how she would actually look. the mod does that weird ass thing with her knees so clearly it is not Perfect but hopefully this helps. this is not really important it is just me trying to paint a picture of allie as clear in your heads as i can. (all i ever wanna do. it's a full time job 😔😔) please note that allie often has disordered eating patterns, neglects her own needs, and faced a lot of malnourishment in her youth. her bmi teeters from '''''unhealthy''''' to ''''healthy'''' and while obviously that is a loose guide and frequently inaccurate guide to being a healthy weight, i just want to make it clear that there are no intentions of glamorizing an unachievable body or ed lifestyle. she is naturally petite, in addition to all of the other things. another additional note is how allie views herself and specifically her body, and how she often objectifies herself. i've talked about this before in other posts, but just. the relationship she has with her body is not a healthy one.             the scars on her back are also not entirely accurate, allie's scars are a little bit longer and a little bit straighter, but the placement is right.