This.

This.

I have a theory (head cannon?) that the only vampire that died in lost boys was Max and that the deaths we saw of the other vampires was a trick performed by David to protect his companions. I went perhaps a little too far in depth with this, but it has been bothering me for years that 4 very powerful vampires were killed within minutes of engaging with young teens. After reading the book, prequel script, and watching the movie too many times, I actually think David and his boys threw the fights to get out of the situation all together, and got the added benefit of Max being killed. Warning, spoilers from the book and prequel script because I'm considering both of them somewhat cannon:

To start, I have to bring up the fact that in the book, David's challenges against Michael to join the gang were considered harmless tricks. The stunts David pulls are things that he can get away with as a vampire that wouldn't actually kill them. Quote from the book: "This was another one of [David's] tricks... something that looked deadly but was nothing more than a simple stunt." David has full control over all the stunts and knows that no harm will come to any of them. Star also calls David a 'magician' with his tricks seeming to be real. And of course, as we saw in the movie David can alter the perception of what someone sees

With that in mind, we start with Marko's death. I don't even want to talk about how Edgar would have to be pretty freaking strong to shove a stake completely through the diaphragm of a humanoid being (including through the front and back layer of his jacket, spine, etc. but whatever). However, Marko's hands appear to be covering his heart. Edgar puts the stake under Marko's hands, below where his heart should be. (heart is marked with the x, yellow is where Edgar shoves the stake)

so while Marko certainly had a pretty bad day, with the lore mentioning it has to go through the heart, he should still be alive, albeit, in a lot of pain

It would be after the boys run from the cave that the vampires are obviously aware that hunters have found their nest. At this point, they would only have two choices: either try and kill the hunters, Michael, Sam, Star, and Laddie, whomst they have close affection with, OR they would have to fake their own deaths. Otherwise there's no way that they can continue living without the hunters and Emersens returning to kill them again.

David likes to plan shit

When they go to the Emersen house, they would have to leave Marko behind at the cave. Since everyone thinks he's dead, they wouldn't have to worry about him being hurt. Then the fights begin, and this is when it starts to get out of character. David is vibing up in the rafters, alone. Dwayne takes on Sam, alone. And Paul takes on the Frogs, alone. But in every other scene that they kill, they are always together. Their deaths are not simultaneous, meaning that they could have taken on everyone together.

Starting with Paul, I mean let's be real. He could have killed those two Frogs at any point in time when he was chasing them. He literally even shoves them. But the plan isn't to kill the Frogs, it's to fake his death. After getting splashed with the holy water, he has a solid few moments to actually do something. And instead, he stands and waits for the dog to tackle him. Seeing that these vampires can literally fly/float there is no reason for him to actually fall into the bathtub. David is still vibing in the rafters and did nothing to stop the dog or to rescue Paul meaning that this was a part of the plan. He would use his ability to create illusions to convince the Frogs Paul fell into the tub and burned alive. It would also be a perfect way to make his body 'disappear'. The explosion of the septic system is extremely unrealistic, and literally I cannot begin to explain how the heck that would work besides someone manually doing it behind the scenes...

Then to Dwayne. Dwayne literally could have easily killed Sam twenty times over. But again, if killing was the plan, it would have been done in seconds. We saw how violent these boys are with their victims. And speaking of Sam, how about that bow, eh? The force behind the bow to literally yeet Dwayne backwards would not have been something Sam could do. It would take a lot of poundage(45ibs I've been told at the bare minimum to kill a deer with a bow at 25 yards, but should really be 60ibs) to physically drive the arrow clear through his body and throw him back into the stereo. And remember, David is in the rafters watching. He's not jumping in to kill Sam. He didn't try and grab Dwayne out of the air. And yet, when on the boardwalk if someone trips his boys on a carousel David loses his mind. Another explosive death, leaving little to no body for clean up...

And then there's David. Now for David, he'd have to take one for the team. And as we learned in the prequel, it has to be wood to kill a vampire through the heart. David tried to kill Vlad with a metal pipe and Vlad literally just pulled himself off it. Spoiler alert, antlers are not made of wood. So Paul and Dwayne are 'dead' and can leave the scene. That means that David needs to finish up. He fights with Michael, Michael clearly being a baby vampire and David having so many years under his belt. But the plan must go on. David sees Michael's plan is to impale him on antlers, and he makes it happen. David plays dead meaning that the three of his companions are safe and he just needs to finish the part before he can return to them.

As a bonus, Max comes by. The man walks straight up to his 'son' (whether he regards David with parental love or as just a lackey is up to you, but regardless he doesn't seem phased at David being dead) and is like oh damn not my boys being stupid again. Max doesn't look sad or anything when he finds David playing dead.

Max being impaled on the fence post would have been his own fault and David wouldn't have been a part of it. And Max would have to die to release the half vampires from their vampirism meaning that he really did explode.

What happens after that is up to you to decide. Besides David appearing in the comics (which if I recall correctly Edgar says that half the stuff in the comics was fake anyway? My copies are in storage so I cannot cross reference that), the boys disappear and no longer have to deal with Max.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Laddie: *waddling into the vampire sleeping cave just as the boys settle down to sleep* Mom I frew up :'(

Dwayne: You threw up??

Marko: Did he call you mom

Dwayne: >:(((

Paul: Don't disrespect mom like that dude

More head canons for the boys:

-

Marko definitely bites his nails, just freaking munches on them. I mean the amount of times we see him with his hand by his mouth in the film is insane. Probably does it without noticing that he’s actually doing it and realizes it later.

David thinks he’s the favourite child, but definitely isn’t. (It’s probably Dwayne. ) No matter how many times Max states to him that he is in fact the third favourite, David believes he’s still on top.

Paul seems like the kinda guy to get seriously hurt, but how it happened was entirely a stupid accident. Like Paul could break his wrist by missing a high five and slamming his hand into a wall.

David’s hair is so dead even the grim reaper doesn’t want it. It’s so bleached and reeks of someone’s alcoholic aunt’s basement.

Dwayne would definitely pull big brother asshole moves, like grabbing a beetle or spider and chasing Marko or Paul with it dangling in between his fingers.

Marko has definitely bitten a tree. I honestly believe this man has walked up to a tree high as balls and looked at it, said “I wonder what a tree tastes like” and just takes a chunk out of the bark.

Paul would be the kind of guy to just jump over everything. A random fence? Paul leaps over it. Unsuspecting trash can? There’s Paul. He’s just vaults over anything he can, no matter if he can actually make the jump. (Probably has whacked his bits on the ones he didn’t.)

Michael just stares at shit, off in his own world. He could be like “wow this looks great, the colours of the ride are so bright and brilliant” while the boys are trying to snap him out of it so they can go on said ride.

Max does the classic dad stance, just does it. David or the other boys could be telling him something bad and he just, *disappointed dad poses.* The boys are both confused and amused with this. He doesn’t even know he does it, but nonetheless, Max leans on his leg with his hands on his hips.

—

Sorry this took so long I got sick and stuff built up, anyways bye broskis

Ugh, my heart

Christmas Surprise (Dwayne x Fem!Reader)

So this was inspired by this prompt "Christmas pregnancy announcement" and as soon as I read that my brain went to Dwayne, and I knew that I HAD to write this. Also I went off of @auntvamp 's headcanon that it could be possible for the boys to get a girl preggos if she was a vampire as well. Cause I fully agree with that, with a human girl it's a no go, vamp girl, definitely possible lol. Hope everyone enjoys it ☺️

Word count: 1,360

Pairing: Dwayne x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pure unadulterated fluff!

 You couldn't believe this was really happening, and honestly you were surprised he hadn't noticed yet, but you supposed it was still very early. You knew that you wanted to tell everyone though, and you knew you wanted to make it special, so that was how you ended up here at the boardwalk with Star, Laddie staying with the boys tonight while the two girls "shopped til they drop" as Paul put it, causing Laddie to quickly become concerned for you and Star until you explained what it meant and that the two of you would not hurt yourselves.

"Are you nervous?" Star asked, looking over at you while the two of you made your way along the shops, grabbing last minute gifts for the boys.

"Of course," you laughed.

"I mean, I have always wanted this but, I think everyone in my situation is nervous" you added, watching Star nod before a smile spread on her lips.

"Are you excited?"

"Unbelievably!" You squealed, watching as she laughed.

"This is something we had talked about but we always said it as if it were only a small possibility" you told her, thinking about all those late morning conversations you had while wrapped up in the sheets with Dwayne.

"He is going to be over the moon," she smiled.

"Which is exactly why I want this to be perfect" you smiled back before entering your first shop.

🦇🦇🦇🦇

Six shops later and you had Christmas gifts for everyone, there was just one place left to go.

"Ok we don't see them anywhere right?" You asked as you and Star looked around the crowd.

"No, but just to be on the safe side, I'll stay outside, a little ways away just so in case they come I can steer them in a different direction and they won't know" Star told you with a smile.

"You are the best! I won't be long" you smiled back before disappearing into the small baby shop. The sound of soft music filled your ears as you took in the store, racks and racks of baby clothes from newborn to toddler, toys, car seats, cribs, diapers, soap, creams, everything.

"Hello!" The young woman behind the counter smiled.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Um" you thought for a moment, wondering if this would be a stupid question.

"So I want to surprise my boyfriend with the news and I know it's closing in on Christmas but…Do you happen to have any sort of Halloween clothes left? It's sort of a style for us" you stated, motioning towards your darker attire. You were sure the girl was going to laugh and tell you that you were crazy, but to your surprise she headed towards a back room, stating that they had a few things left over. You waited as she brought out the small pile, laying them out for you.

"We have these," she started

"Mommy's little werewolf"

"Future Frankenstein"

"Daddy's little witch"

"Vicious lil Vampire"

"That one!" You smiled excitedly, looking up at her and quickly calming yourself.

"We love vampire movies" you lied, watching her nod.

"Would you like me to put this in a box so he doesn't see it?"

"Oh yes please, thank you so much"

"No problem at all. So how far along are you?" She asked while packing it up.

"Not far, I just found out today with a test"

"Your excitement says this was something you two really wanted," she laughed, while ringing that up as well as the other shirt you had found while she was in the back room.

"It's something we have talked about a lot, he's really good with kids" you smiled, thinking about him with Laddie, he had told you so many times about how he had wanted kids when he was human, but it just never happened. But he had hoped, now that you were a vampire as well, that maybe it would be possible, little did he know.

"Well from the sounds of it you have a keeper on your hands" she smiled, handing you the very discrete box.

"I'm so happy for you both, congratulations" she added, and you once again found the reality of it all washing over you…This was really happening.

"Thank you so much! You'll definitely be seeing more of me, and him" you laughed.

"We're always open! Have a nice night and Merry Christmas" she stated before you made your way out, quickly meeting up with Star and heading back towards the rides where you knew the boys would be. This was going to be exciting.

🦇🦇🦇🦇

Christmas couldn't come fast enough in your opinion, you all of course would be opening gifts as soon as the clock hit midnight, and you were unsure of who was bouncing around more, Laddie or Paul. The boys happily opened their presents. You and Star got Paul a bunch of new cassettes that he went crazy over, Marko received a bunch of patches and different trinkets you both knew he would like, and the fact that he immediately started holding them up to his jacket to figure out where to sew them confirmed that. Star had gotten David a box of really fancy cigars, and you gave him some books that you thought he would really enjoy, which by the smile he gave you, he approved. Laddie received new toys as well as books, which he was very excited about and began playing with immediately. Star gave Dwayne some poetry books as well as a new skateboard, and you handed Dwayne his gift. Kissing back when he leaned over to give you a quick kiss. He gently untied the bow and you took the moment to hand Laddie his other gift. When Dwayne lifted the lid of the box he went still, and for a moment you wondered what was going through his head, not wanting to pry and see for yourself. You watched him blink, slowly place down the lid and pick up the small baby onesie and pregnancy test, he stared at it for a long moment, the entire cave going quiet as you realized everyone was in shock.

"Is this…"

"Yeah"

"You're really?"

"Yeah" you smiled as your eyes met, his own slightly brimming with unshed tears as he looked at you.

"Really?" He breathed, almost as if he was afraid this was just some sick joke and you would tell him that you were lying.

"Really baby" you smiled, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on your still small stomach, the stomach that would soon have a baby bump.

"I'm pregnant" you breathed, and in an instant his lips were on yours, his arms wrapping around you as he poured every ounce of love that he had into the action. He had always wanted this, dreamed of it, but for so long thought it was impossible..and yet here you were, telling him that it was possible, telling him that it was happening…He was going to be a dad.

"I love you" he breathed against your lips, while you reached up to wipe his wet cheeks.

"I love you too baby" you smiled while leaning in to kiss him again.

"Dwayne look!" Laddie spoke excitedly, and Dwayne looked over, laughing and smiling at the boy who now sported a shirt that read

"Worlds best big brother"

"The title fits," he told the boy as he smiled even more.

"So we get to have a little niece or nephew running around?" Paul's voice cracked, and you looked over at him, noticing him wiping his own face, Marko looking away to try to hide his tears.

"Yeah, you'll have a little vamp running around" you nodded.

"We'll take good care of them, of the both of you" David spoke as he walked up to you, leaning down to kiss your head.

"I know you will, this is the best family a child could ask for" you spoke while looking at all of them, before leaning over and kissing Dwayne again.

"And you're gonna be the best father a child could ask for"

"You'll be the best mom" he smiled back.

Dwayne really deserves to be a father!!

Also here is the little baby onesie which can actually be found on Etsy!

Meet The Lost Boys Cast Teen Beat Magazine, 1987

I wish I could blaze a post telling people to test their smoke alarms but I have literally no money so if y’all could help me spread this the old fashioned way

Test your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors