Writing Prompt? No. Writing Much Delayed.

Writing prompt? No. Writing much delayed.

Ok, but I also feel like Bea wouldn’t just pretend her kids aren’t there and push them back without looking at them. Like, yes, this is a very important meeting and the whole world is potentially watching but these are her kids and they come first. Bea’s going to do the opposite of what her parents did and make sure they know they come first. So when the toddler comes up she just reaches down a hand, grabs them by the jumper and sets them in her lap without pause. And when the toddler pats her on the face and calls her name “mum” she looks at the camera and says, dead serious, “My apologizes, something very important just came up.” Then she looks down at her toddler and goes “yes darling?” And the news studio just lets it happen because a) adorable and b) turning off her camera would just make them look like assholes. 

So when Ava stumbles into the room (literally) and hustles the infant away she has to come back for the toddler who is explain very serious things to her wife on national television. (“mommy go potty I come say hi”). Ava’s 100% ready to die of embarrassment when she grabs their toddler from Bea’s lap but Bea grabs her for a quick kiss and a ‘thank you’ so that makes it a little better. And no, she doesn’t care that all of national television saw her look at her wife with wide eyed adoration. Or walk into the door she closed because she was too busy starring at her wife. Who just smirked smuggly and returned to her interview.

😂 if it’s canonverse, ava in her haste to get the kids out asap b4 they can disrupt beatrice’s meeting even further and so she phases in and/or out of the room when she goes to get the kids not realizing that’s the most disruptive thing there 😭😭😭

if it’s non canonverse ava, and a no powers universe ava, while trying to grab the kids she probably trips or knocks something down or vv obviously very nearly does so

the only reason canonverse ava didn’t is because she’s a trained fighter and fought in a whole holy (🥁) war and the urgency of trying to get her & beatrice’s kids in and out without being even more disruptive kicked that part of her in, but even then it was probably a near thing lmao

Re this ask and this original post

Canonverse Ava phasing into the room then immediately back out with the kids is a hilarious visual. It would just be a blip on the screen and then the kids are gone,,, like one of those Bigfoot sighting pictures (the only example I can come up with lmaoo).

Non canonverse Ava wears grippy socks around the house 1000% so in trying to slide into the room she just ends up falling face first (maybe…. maybe this was inspired by real events in my life… maybe)

Now picturing this but with Ava as Aphrodite and Beatrice as Hephaestus.

I’ve noticed this revisionist Greek myth is common wherein Persephone loves Hades and eats the pomegranate seeds in order to evade her overbearing mother, and that’s all well and good. You know, sometimes I’m in the mood for it and sometimes I’m not. But hear this: as long as we’re doing this, why is no one wondering whether Aphrodite might really love Hephaestus? 

Think about it. All the gods in their immortal splendor are lining up to marry her, doing everything in their power to impress her, the goddess of love and beauty, and she choses…that guy. A god in technical terms only, a social reject who’s ugly and malformed and um, no fun. Always slaving away in his workshop when everyone else is quaffing nectar and having their eternal beach party up on Mount Olympus. They can’t believe she’d give up all of them for that. 

So, because the gods do not take rejection well (looking at you Apollo), eventually they start to say to each other, well, we all know Zeus made her do it anyway. He’s gotta feel guilty for throwing Hephaestus off Mount Olympus that one time. And it quickly becomes that poor girl, stuck in that workshop full of sweat and dirt and cyclopses when she could have had one of us. Because of course they’ve got love all figured out; it’s entirely technical and dependent on who’s the most charming and good-looking and not at all variable and strange and notoriously unpredictable, right?

Meanwhile Ares, only the most arrogant and brainless of the crew, can’t take a hint and is still showing up wherever Aphrodite goes trying to hit on her, so eventually she and Hephaestus decide to rig up an elaborate mechanical trap for him, using her as bait. When all the gods have laughed at him for getting caught he huffily attempts to regain his dignity by telling them, whatever, guys, you want to know the truth, I was meeting her for an assignation. And they all kind of know he’s full of it but they just accept it as the unvarnished truth from thereon in, because they’d love to believe she’d cheat on Hephaestus with Ares. They’d love it. Come on, Aphrodite, get off your high horse and admit you’re just as shallow as the rest of us. 

So they talk, but Aphrodite doesn’t really care about their collective jealousy because she dotes on her misshapen genius of a husband with his sooty hands and his sweaty brow who always takes her seriously and is always so hard at work inventing astonishing new things to make her happy, and she loves the volcano they live in with its internal pressures so conducive to the formation of precious stones and its passages lit with glowing lava that so gorgeously offsets her cheekbones, and all the cyclopses worship her because even with one eye apiece they’ve still got more depth perception than most men do where she’s concerned. True it is that as a couple the two develop a reputation for not getting out much, because all those Olympian parties bore them to death and they’d rather spend time with each other (poor Aphrodite, she’s such a vivacious young thing and her husband is so grasping and insecure that he won’t let her go out and have fun), but they do all right. 

Ok, but that bed is only accessible from one side. And given the season two mournful bed touching Ava does, combined with season one’s mention of sleeping Poorly (see chatting with Mary as they hike), my guess is that Ava sleeps on the accessible side. Meaning Bea sleeps close to the wall. Bea who wakes up first and then has to climb over Ava to get out of bed. Ava whose not used to feeling things and is constantly squirming even when awake. Constantly reaching out and touching. How many times did Bea try to climb over Ava to get out of bed only to get caught and snuggled by Ava?

Avatrice’s bedroom set up in Warrior Nun S2 | source | Primary source is Bárbara Pérez-Solero, the show’s production designer

Tailoring your own clothes

So a little while back, I reblogged a post about tailoring your own clothes. The gist of it was this (IIRC):

Someone was wondering why even people on TV with non-mainstream-TV-approved body shapes always look so good in their clothes. 

The long and short of it is: their bodies aren’t better than yours. They just have people tailoring every single piece of clothing they wear to flatter their figures. 

Off-the-rack clothes aren’t made to look good on most people’s bodies. The advice in the post was buy clothes that fit the largest part of you, even if they’re too big elsewhere, and have them altered to fit. 

That post hit me like a lightning bolt. I have a curvy figure. I’m not plus-sized, but I’ve got a small waist and large hips. Which is great in certain types of clothes (dresses, mainly), but means that if I don’t wear fitted t-shirts or blouses–if they fall straight–I just look sort of… boxy. I need clothes that go in at the waist. 

My grandma was an amazing seamstress, so when I needed clothes fixed, she was around to tailor them. When she got into her 90s and her eyesight was too diminished for her to sew, we started going to a woman in our neighborhood who’d lost her husband and had started doing alterations to bring in some extra income. OF COURSE I looked good back then. I had a tailor.

Then I moved away from my parents without really knowing How To Adult and would go to Target to get clothes and just get depressed by them and never realized how much of an advantage having people who could tailor my clothes (and, you know, parents to pay for having them tailored…) had been. 

So. I have a 1970s Singer Fashion Mate sewing machine that is designed to weather the apocalypse–I got it at Goodwill for $20. 

And I have begun researching how to tailor your own clothes. If anyone else was wondering about that after that last post, here are some helpful links I’ve discovered. 

When and Why to Get it Tailored - This article is (annoyingly) set up as a slideshow, and focuses on getting a professional to do your alterations rather than doing them yourself, but it’s got some good advice nonetheless, such as:

Basic alterations that can make a huge difference, such as adding lingerie loops to keep bra straps in place (SERIOUSLY MY FAVORITE DRESSES FROM HIGH SCHOOL ALL HAD THESE AND WHY DID THEY DISAPPEAR IN EVERYTHING I WEAR NOW?), adding snaps between the buttons on button-down shirts for larger-busted women (you know how sometimes they gap? there’s help for that), etc.

Average prices (at least on the East Coast) for basic alterations: replacing a zipper will run you about $20, while tailoring pants or a skirt to fit your hips and butt will be about $35.

If you want to get a garment made of special materials (leather, fur, beaded/embroidered silk) altered, go to someone who specializes in working with that material.

What NOT to try to alter.

How to find a tailor.

Having that perfect dress that you love so much duplicated and how much that will cost.

Learning Alterations - Great step-by-step tutorials on basic alterations like how to take in the waist of jeans (essential if you have a smaller waist and larger hips, because it’ll stop them from riding down every time you bend over or sit down).

Tailoring Ready-to-Wear - A full-on online course from Craftsy (costs $24.99) with videos and individual lessons on everything from hemming pants to lengthening them to altering shoulders and armholes to adding hidden zippers.

Plus-Sized Fitting and Design - Another online course (this one’s $34.99) that looks like it focuses both on alterations and on actually making clothes that are flattering to plus-sized forms.

Alterations and Tailoring 101 - Not a how-to post, but this one has a lot of useful information and ideas, such as identifying which garments to alter.

Alterations Needed blog - A whole blog on this stuff, with a lot of detailed how-tos. It focuses on fixing things to fit if you’re shorter than average/petite, but contains a lot of great advice for anyone (like an entry on why button-down shirts often bulge in back and how to fix it). 

Pinch and Pin your Shirt - Super-quick video tutorial (aimed at gentlemen), but useful for anyone who wears button-down shirts on how to fix a baggy shirt. 

If I find other helpful tutorials, I’ll add them. If you know of any, please let me know!

im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping