Strangetree - Et In Arcadia Ego - Tumblr Blog

being an online weirdo is fucking awesome because you get to befriend other online weirdos. just now saw a sexual motorcycle post and i was like "hey i'll send this to my buddy, The Motorcycle Fucker" and sure enough it was a smash hit

Routine maintenance.

Just a headcanon that the Doll maintains and fixes herself.

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

Well, nothing to be done about it save write even more increasingly deranged smut.

bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

you don’t have to match my freak you just have to think whatever’s wrong with me is fascinating and perhaps even sexual

Sites that have pivoted to publishing "spells" generated by GenAI.

Ive seen people be like in modern fantasy like "oh the pritagonists can just look up spells on their phone how do you solve that"

Imma be honest most people who go on recipe websites and book every recipe they see don't even use them lmao why would with be different

If you could instantly be granted fluency in 5 languages—not taking away your existing language proficiency in any way, solely a gain—what 5 would you choose?

this hit me like a truck

Louis Sussmann-Hellborn

Sleeping Beauty

I feel like HRT that turns you into a doll would have to be topically applied, yeah?

i love saying “i’m being normal about it” bc i’m actually a filthy fucking liar and i’ve never been normal about anything a single day in my life

stop asking "why are strange women dressing me up and treating me like a doll?" and start thinking about how great this will look on your resume

i am living proof of the adored by english teachers to disgusting pervert pipeline

I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me

it kinda goes like this

basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.

the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.

---

so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:

Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.

Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.

Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.

Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.

Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.

Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---

The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.

I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:

Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!

But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?

How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?

Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?

am reason related to why am no men in stories?

characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.

Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.

But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?

... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.

So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!

anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.

I eagerly await your giant mountain of erotic betrayal plampt stories.

remember like a day ago when I said I now had TWO ideas for stories in the HDG setting well haha guess what I lied it's now three

trust between two people who could easily kill one another (especially when it would be the more sensible option in the scenario) drives me insane. you could kill me. you SHOULD kill me. but you won’t. and i won’t. and i’m going to go a step further and trust you to hold my life in your hands. as i hold yours. wild sick twisted etc

"Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you?" ― Zampanò, House of Leaves, p.544

Trying to not only convince my friend to borrow house of leaves from me but also trying to decide the most frustrating ways I could possibly annotate it beforehand. Any suggestions would be greatly appeeciated

”okay but are you normal about-“ no. I’m an insane pervert.

i have a lot of feelings and thoughts about coelacanths today

I'm open to part time, a volunteer position, or even an unpaid internship.

why isn’t “hot vampire’s thrall” a viable career path :/