Stars & Spaghetti | R.b.

stars & spaghetti | r.b.

a/n: here i go again, not taking a break 😭 i swear i just needed to write this! thank you @lovemenotts for encouraging me to post it 🫶 i love you lily

tw: eating disorder recovery

Regulus knows where to find you, but he also knows better than to act like he was looking for you with two bowls of food in hand.

“Hey.”

You almost jump at the sound of his voice. You turn around from where you’re sitting on the porch, giving him a small smile. “Hi.”

His heart drops a little when he sees your face, with your sunken eyes and tired expression.

“I didn’t realize you were home already. Did you come through the back?”

He hums an affirmative, sitting down next to you on the steps leading out the house.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as you slouch onto the railing on your left, blankly staring out at the road. “How’s your day been?”

Regulus casually twirls his fork into the spaghetti in his bowl before bringing it to his mouth. Maybe he believes he’s being slick, you think, but it’s obvious that he’s got twice his usual serving.

“Today’s been fine, yeah. Just busy. How was work?”

He nods in response, “Good, actually. Mark finally sent me the files I needed to get that huge contract signed, and —” He presses his fork into the pasta again, but this time brings it up to your mouth (hoping you’re too distracted to mind).

His heart drops and how instantly you swerve backwards, almost crashing into the step behind you.

“Reg,” it comes out as a betrayed hiss. You take a shaky exhale before sitting back upright. “I don’t want any; I’ve eaten dinner already.”

“Have you?”

“Yes, I —“

“Then why’s the kitchen completely clean?”

Regulus never takes a harsh tone with you, and he wasn’t going to start now. There’s nothing but quiet, genuine concern in the way he asks. Guilt claws at the back of your throat anyway.

It was one of your worse days; thoughts of excessive calories and not having worked out being all you could think about. You’d stared at yourself in the mirror for what seemed like hours, cursing every flaw of your body and wondering why me.

Without your boyfriend home, it had just felt like there was no reason to fatten yourself.

“Hey,” Regulus mutters, laying his palm facing upwards on your lap. You take it. “You’re getting in your head again.”

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, lovely girl.” He reaches out to gently brush a stray hair away from your face. “But do you think you could try to eat something? Please?”

Your heart stops, and it’s like your mind is reeling back into its hiding spot already. No lies on the tip of your tongue.

“It doesn’t have to be a lot, dove, he continues quietly, rubbing your fingers. “Just a few bites. You need fuel, you know.”

Regulus is looking into your eyes with that silent look now, the one which makes you feel like he’d do just about anything to save you from yourself. You don’t think you could ever say no to him.

And it wasn’t like you’d eaten anything today. You were allowed this, for your boyfriend, right?

“Fine.”

He smiles softy and tugs you closer, stamping a kiss to the side of your forehead and picking up the bowl of pasta from beside him. “So, remember that bouquet I bought you last week?”

He starts to make casual conversation as he feeds you, and you do your best to listen. It goes all the way from those flowers were expensive! to maybe we should get a cat — or a new apartment — but NOT a dog.

The food gets lodged in your throat every now and then, but you force yourself to swallow. The ‘full’ feeling starts to creep up on you like your shadow.

Regulus can sense it. “Okay, but why the hell do you like dogs?”

You decide to indulge him and go off on a tangent about the fluffy beasts, which pulls your mind away from its dark corner. The conversation makes the chore of eating easier.

You’re sure he knows what he’s doing, but you’re going to let him anyway.

Before you know it, you’re laughing so hard you don’t even realize the bowl is empty. He stands up to put it away before you get the chance to think too hard about it.

Regulus sits back down next to you. He starts to tell you about the stars, then, and you listen intently. It’s late, but you wouldn’t know what time it is. Time didn’t exist in your little bubble.

At one point you’ve curled into him the furthest you can. Your eyelids are being pulled down by the weight of fatigue, his comforting presence lulling you closer towards sleep.

He thinks you don’t hear it when he murmurs a soft I’m proud of you. You do.

umm lily im blushing over here 🤭🤭 i love you more sweetheart <3

still here | r.l.

summary: it's your birthday :(

a/n: this is the first time i’ve ever really cried when writing something, it’s got a home in my heart now and i hope you like it!! 🫶 (also listen to our lovely girl billie while reading for added heartbreak)

tw: past suicide attempt

You lean back on the couch from where you’re bending over the table. Remus wastes no time in wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. He gently presses his lips to your forehead. “Happy birthday, lovely girl.”

“Thank you,” you mumble half-heartedly, grateful but too overwhelmed to show it. 

There’s a cut-up chocolate cake in front of you, which Remus had insisted upon baking. He’d honoured your wishes not to throw a big bash, and of not wanting an actual present. He didn’t exactly understand why — but he loved you too much to not do what you wanted him to; birthday or not.

Guilt weighs heavily on your heart; Remus has been kinder than you deserve. You decide to help him understand.

“You know,” you start softly, tilting your head to lay it on his shoulder. He hums in acknowledgement, fingertips grazing your sleeve as he starts to rub your arm. “I didn’t think I would last this long.”

The shakiness in your voice surprises even you. You feel Remus’ hand still on your arm. 

“What?” he murmurs. You can’t decipher if the slight lilt to his voice is because of sadness or confusion.

“I didn’t think I would last this long,” you repeat quietly, just to be safe, and you feel his hand coasting across your back as he gently grabs your shoulders. He turns you towards him, and you don’t wait for him to ask before you start to explain. “When I was 13, I couldn’t imagine ever making it this far. I tried to kill myself.”

Remus’ eyes widen the slightest bit as he takes in your sudden admission. His grip on your shoulders doesn’t falter; and it’s like you both know he’s the only thing holding you upright. 

When he doesn’t respond, your gaze immediately drops to the couch, shame clouding your eyes.

“I… I didn’t know that.”

The crack in his voice makes you look back up, meeting his gaze. His features are softer, sadder; somehow. There’s the slightest bit of grief in the way he’s regarding you. “Are you glad you made it this far?”

You rub your lips together, taking a shaky breath to make sure your voice comes out evenly. “Yeah,” you exhale softly. “Yeah, I am. I got to meet you.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“No,” you reply honestly. “I love my work. My friends, I really like hanging out with them. And I’d say our apartment is pretty sweet.”

The concern in Remus’ expression is still evident, his brows pinched together almost painfully. His hands bunch up the fabric on your shoulders, tugging you towards him. You’re certain the action is subconscious – he looks lost in thought, like he’s deliberating wrapping you up in his arms and never letting you go.

“Would you like more reasons?” you ask quietly, feeling your vision start to blur. You shouldn’t be surprised that he cares this much, but you are.

When he nods, your heart melts – the magma seems to be pooling in your stomach, and you feel the kind of warmth you’ve only ever been able to feel since you met him.

“Okay,” you decide to indulge him. “I like coffee when I wake up, especially when you make it. Feeding the stray dogs on the side of the road every morning. And my guitar, I like to make music on it. I think music is nice.”

You feel your throat start to clog up, the image of Remus distorting into a blurry swirl in your eyes. “It’s lovely when it rains, especially when we’re both at home, cuddling. And –”

Your voice comes out wobbly, the tears coming hard and fast now. You want to stop, but push on for his sake.

“And I really like our apartment. Did I mention that? Also, your hugs – I love the way you hug. It’s like you really love me, and —”

“I do love you,” Remus interrupts in a shaky exhale, words barely audible from the way his voice is trembling. “I love you, okay? I love you a whole lot. And I’m so glad you’re still with me.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, gently pulling you even closer towards him. You meet him in the middle, arms instinctively wrapping around his waist as he brings his hands up to encircle your shoulders.

Remus squeezes you like it’s his job to hold you together, and you hear a soft sniffle as he buries his face in your hair. 

“I’m so glad you’re still here,” he says again. Your heart clenches in your chest, in all the best ways.

“I love you,” you respond, because you both know it’s synonymous with Thank you for giving me a reason to be here.

thank you shay and @amiableness for the tag!! 🫶

favourite colour: beige/brown! also soft blues and greens are cute

currently reading: before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi!!

currently watching: gilmore girls (s6 omg almost at the end 💪)

currently craving: honestly im thinking of subway double choco chip cookies rn

coffee or tea: tea! in love with chamomile these days

npt🏷️: @foodiegoogie @g1rld1ary @hunterswithcell-phones @msmk11

​༉‧₊˚.​ get to know me better !! ♡

— 𝜗𝜚 thank u @cosmiiwrites nd @queenofmistresses for the tags, my lovies <3 i love u both

favorite color? pink!! i love pink!! you know the colour of hello kitty’s bow? pink!! my melo? pink!! my socks rn? pink!! did i mention my favourite colour is pink?

last song? someday - from the zombies soundtrack (banger)

currently reading? i finished the hurricane wars by thea guanzon a few days ago so im using this as an excuse to tell you to read it n i loved it so much but im currently starting (only a chapter in) a feather so black by lyra selene

currently watching? i don’t think i am watching anything… i last watched the zombies movies though… (im not obsessed you are)

currently craving? NOODS ugh i could demolish some noodles rn

coffee or tea? yes.

@nebulacrumbs @blooming-crimson-flower @hellsgreatestslut @lilsleepybear1029 @ustulia tag you’re it <3

this is the most adorable thing ever😭😭 pls i need them to cuddle me when i’m sick

Hey girl!

I just saw that you’re looking for Marauders requests so I thought I’d send one through! Maybe a poly! Marauders x reader where she is hurt or sick and the boys take care of her?

Hope you’re doing well 🥰

i hope you enjoy <33

poly!marauders x fem!reader, fluff - modern au

"where's she?" james asks in a hurry sirius doesn't understand.

"what-"

a sound of water comes from the bathroom and james rushes to the door. he knocks gently to not startle you. "sweetheart?"

"i'm okay." you say.

"i'm waiting here, take your time."

sirius comes next to him after leaving his jacket and phone on the couch. "what's happening?" he asks. "why are you guarding the door?"

james gives him a slow kiss to calm down any worry. it works very well. "she feels a bit sick." he explains. "she didn't want me to call you, thought you'd be worried and try to leave work early."

you open the bathroom door slowly. the first thing you see is sirius's huge eyes. "hey, baby." you say with a sick but soft voice. "how was your day?"

he reaches for your hand to inspect you. you seem tired- your eyes half closed and your voice coming out low. "my angel." he squeezes your fingers. "what happened to you?"

his tone is always dramatic, you give him a smile. "i'm fine." you say. "i just feel tired. my throat hurts. it might be 'cause of weather."

"take her to the couch, pads." james says with a fond smile. "i'll make us some tea."

"we should call remus." sirius says as he holds your hand on the short way to the couch.

"i'm okay." you insist. "he's working, he'll be worried if you tell him i'm sick."

sirius fixes your hair, he kneels in front of your place on couch. "you are sick." he says with a slow tease. "i don't know if you notice."

"i refuse to admit i'm sick." you tell him.

sirius has cuteness aggression. it has always been the case, and now he gets to take in the way you look. so soft and pretty without any make up on, your quiet voice and teary eyes, you look at him like you want him to hold you and he wants to drown you in his affection. he doesn't care if what you have is contagious.

"we can call remus." you say after a long minute of thinking. "i miss him."

your boyfriend smiles, he nods before leaving you to james's care. here he is with two cups of herbal tea you like drinking. he enjoys it too, but he knows sirius prefers coffee. when james is in charge of kitchen, everyone can drink their favorites. he already prepared the coffee.

"he's calling remus, right?" james settles down next to you. "you don't have fever, how's your head? are you hurting anywhere?"

you lean back against the pillows. "i feel tired. my head feels like it's full of cottons."

james rubs a big hand on your arm. you are grateful for the smell of tea and your boyfriend's warmth. careful with the mug in your hand, you settle down next to james, he accepts you into his chest.

"we can get you some painkillers after you finish your tea." he says. "you'll feel better when you get some good sleep."

you nod, taking a sip from your cup. sirius comes back with his coffee, he sits down next to james. "moony will be here soon. he also promised getting all of us soup, so we're free of cooking tonight."

james makes a sweet sound, he kisses your head. you take another sip. it's not like your throat's burning or hurting too much, but it feels sore. you don't want your sickness to grow into something more. closing your eyes, you give your tea cup to james. your head feels mushy like you can't form a single thought.

you don't know how much time passed but when you open your eyes, you're on someone's chest. more like someone who smells amazing and has big hands. you put your sleepy face on his neck, he gives you a few kisses on your head in response.

"remus?"

"hey." remus whispers. "hi, sweetheart. do you feel better?"

you hum, words are hard to form with your dry throat. "when did you get back?"

"almost an hour ago. you were sleeping. i wanted to stay with you in case you wake up."

"james and sirius were here."

"they are heating up the soup." remus says. "we can stay here a bit longer if you want."

you nod against his chest. he's warm and more cuddly than ever. he kisses your face, his lips make lovely paths on the side of your head. "hold me." you say, softly. you're always more hungry for touch when you feel poorly. "closer."

remus wraps his arms around you to pull you impossibly close. his lips stay pressed on your hair for a long minute. you feel so tired like you can sleep for an eternity. he rubs your back and you melt easy, go lax in his arms.

james comes into living room a few minutes later. he accepts a kiss from remus before checking you. "you must be hungry." he says to both of you. "soup is ready."

it takes a great amount of energy to leave your comfy spot to go to kitchen. james offers to bring your soup here but you want to sit at the table with them, to not let the sickness take over. he also offers to carry you and you refuse with a smile. he doesn't let go of your hand, though, helps you sit on your chair.

sirius places a bowl of steamy soup in front of you with a kiss on your head after. "enjoy, pretty girl." he says, settles down on his seat.

you eat your soup silently, feeling their gaze on your face. "don't look at me like that." you say, three pairs of worried eyes looking elsewhere immediately. "i'm fine, i promise. i'll be better when i sleep."

"well, of course you will." sirius says. "we wouldn't let our girl drown in sickness, would we?"

being taken care of is the nicest thing, you realize as you feel remus rubbing your thigh under the table. you're used to take care of yourself and you wouldn't let yourself be so vulnerable if they were other people, but no. the boys have different ways of showing their love, the common ground being you feeling how much they love you through everything they do. you feel better, thinking all these as you take your last sip from your soup.

"it was delicious." you say. "thank you, baby." the baby's directed at remus for getting the soup but you kiss james's cheek after that and give sirius a nice smile across the table.

"you're ready to go to bed then." james says. "i'll get you some painkillers."

the bed feels softer than ever under your body when you finally settle down. james leaves for kitchen to help his boyfriends clean up after he gives you pills and water. he promises they'll be with you shortly.

you feel the bed moving after a while, your eyes already closed on their own. you don't try to resist your sleep, snuggling into james's chest as he gets next to you.

remus and sirius are in their own bubble, chatting softly under the blankets. remus holds your hand, his other arm wrapped around sirius. james rubs your back and he makes wonders, you're asleep in a second.

HAHAHAH so real 😭

themes commonly found in international friendships

- ‘u dont have (insert food/music/restaurant here) over there??’ - ‘wait what time is it. shouldnt u be asleep’ - alternatively: timezoned/clockblocked again - ‘do u need a hug. have a virtual hug’ - weird slang terms - ‘i will fight everyone thats mean to u. i will fight them rn’ - vague embarrassment regarding ur accent - ‘dont maKE ME COME OVER THERE’ - ‘oh yeah i have a friend who lives in (insert country here) and apparently’ - no real hugs :(( - suffering - fahrenheit vs celsius - the measuring of things in feet fucks one of u up, probably