19 posts

My Guiding Star

My Guiding Star

To say that life on Arrakis is not easy would be an understatement. But I did not complain, really. Despite the constant heat, the problems with the Harkonтen soldiers, the constant struggle for every drop of water and life itself, I was the happiest woman in the world. Because I was next to the man with whom I had decided to share my life. To whom only a few months ago, standing before the altar, I said "yes" and became his wife. The wife of Paul Atreides. Even if it sounds like a cliché and no one believes me, I do not care at all. Even hell can be endured if there is someone who is ready to share all the hardships with you.

For the first time in our long stay on Arrakis, among the Fremen, Paul and I found time for ourselves. Not far from the sitch, in the middle of the night, we lay on the sand near the tent and looked at the starry sky of Arrakis. Just him and me. Moments of happiness in the constant storm. We didn't need to talk. I don't know how, but we seemed to sense each other. I felt when Paul was worried, when he was again overcome with doubts and fears about his future, our future. And the prophecy. Which, on top of all the problems, hung over our heads like the Sword of Damocles.

- Paul..., - I began, trying to distract him from what was happening in his head now.

- Mmm..., - he muttered.

- You know that I love you, right?

- Of course. And I love you. But why are you asking?

- He turned his head in my direction and I saw in his eyes, which were already clouded with blue.

- Because I thought you needed to be reminded of it. You've been distant from me lately. But I don't blame you. Considering everything that's been going on, it was the truth. I really did think so, despite the aching pain in my heart that appeared every time I thought about it or said it.

- Do you feel like I've distanced myself from you? - he asked with anxiety in his voice.

- Yes, but, as I said... - I didn't have time to finish, because I felt his lips on mine. Paul kissed me tenderly, as if he was afraid that I would break.

- I'm sorry that you got that impression, my love. Maybe I've distanced myself, yes, but that's only because... - he lowered his eyes and took a deep breath, as if he was about to confess to a terrible crime or sin - sometimes in my visions I see that you die by my hand or because of me. No matter what I do. No matter how I try to save you, - he fell silent, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. There was only silence around, and then I heard his whisper "I can't lose you."

- Paul, look at me, - I asked tenderly. When he opened his eyes, it seemed to me that all the weight of the world that had fallen to him was reflected in them. He looked at me and did not look away for a second, - Paul, you are my husband. My beloved. The man I chose and will continue to choose forever. I know that you are afraid. You are afraid of jihad, afraid to go south, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I will always be on your side. Just... do not close yourself off from me, okay? Please, - I pressed my lips to his for a moment, and then continued, - always keep an open mind. You said that the future can be changed by any action, any word, right?

Paul nodded tensely and continued not to take his eyes off me. I felt that with each of my words his hands on my waist were squeezing tighter and tighter, as if he was afraid that I would disappear.

- So you and I will try to find the scenario of the future that will lead us to victory. To the prosperity of Arrakis. We will take revenge on the Harkonnens, the Empire, and all who have hurt us. And then we will turn Arrakis into a green paradise, we will become parents, and our children will be our continuation. And we will restore House Atreides to its glory.

- Will you be with me? Until the end?

- Of course, my love.

- And if I lose my way?

- Then I will be your guiding star, - I whispered and kissed him again.

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More Posts from Sunshinekindof

4 years ago

One of those days

It was one of those days. You weren't in the mood. All you wanted was to lie on the couch, watch the melodrama and cry. Ben, your boyfriend, has worked hard over the past few weeks and you missed him. Which did not add points to your good mood.

You texted to Ben, hoping that at least today you will be lucky and Ben will spend this evening with you, but you were very disappointed very quickly: Ben wrote that he would come late today, he is at some event. At first you wanted to behave like a child and be offended, but you stopped yourself. You are an adult. And if you are sad, then these are your problems.

Ben saw that something was wrong with you for several days. He tried to understand what was happening to you, but every time you said that everything was all right with you.

All your attempts to do something productive today have failed, so you grabbed a can of ice cream from the fridge, sat down on the couch, wrapped yourself in a blanket, and played a movie.

In the middle of the movie you heard the front door open. You were absorbed in the movie that the sound of the opening door scared you and you flinched. You turned your tear-stained face towards the sound. First you saw a beautiful bouquet and then a smiling Ben. But as soon as Ben looked at your face, the smile immediately disappeared from his face.

“Baby, what happened?” He exclaimed worriedly and quickly walked up to you, holding the bouquet in his hands. You wanted to get up and go to meet him, but did not have time. In a moment Ben was next to you. He knelt down to see your face better. He laid the bouquet beside you.

You were amazed at what was happening, so you did not immediately answer him.

- Honey, why are you crying? Is something hurting you? Why didn't you call me?, - he spoke quickly and you did not know which question to answer first. You did not expect him and you were sure that you will fall asleep again today alone. But here he was, with you, anxiety was clearly expressed on his face.

- Ben, I'm fine, really ... - you began to say, but he interrupted you.

“If you were okay, you wouldn't cry,” he said seriously, “but now the truth, please.

“It's true ... something like that. I`m not hurt, It`s just… I don’t know, I’m sad and, ”you smiled faintly and looked away from Ben’s worried eyes,“ sorry, this is all nonsense, I’m fine. What are you doing here? I didn't think you'd come today - you wanted to distract him, but of course you didn't succeed.

“Hey,” he said, and took hold of your chin with one hand and turned your head toward him, “look at me. If something upset you, then it's not stupid. I'm worried about you. Please, talk to me, ” he said in a quite tone, and he of the love and tenderness with which he looked at you, you again wanted to cry. Instead of answering, you snuggled up to him, hugged him tightly by the neck and pressed your face to his neck.

- Hey, baby ... - Ben said a little confusedly, but he pressed you to him and began stroking your hair and back. You sat like that for several minutes. Ben took your time and gave you time to collect your thoughts.

- It's just one of those days, you know, - you said to him in the neck, - I'm just tired, I guess. And I miss you very much, - you admitted and pressed closer to him, - you work so hard that I very rarely see you. But I didn't say anything, because I see how you enjoy what you do.

You felt bad about confessing to him because you didn't want him to give up what he likes to do for you.

He moved away from you and looked into your eyes, taking your face in his hands.

- You are important to me, you know right ?, - he seriously asked, looking into your eyes, - I love you.

- Yes, I know of course, but ... - you began, but he again did not let you finish.

- No "but". What if I didn't tell you how I feel? Didn't tell you about when something bothers me? What would you do? ” He asked sternly.

You thought for a moment.

- I would be angry with you because I love you. And you can tell me about everything ... - and then you realized that you still behaved like a child. You trusted Ben completely and knew that he would always support you and not condemn you., - but ..., - you quickly continued, trying to soften Ben, - since I love you very, very much, and you are very sweet, I could not be angry with you for a long time, ”you said, smiling shyly.

Ben laughed and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Very very cute?” He asked with a grin.

“Very much,” you whispered back and pressed your lips to his, after which you asked him, “how did you end up here? Why did you come?

- I finished my business earlier, because I wanted to be next to you faster. I miss you too. ” He kissed you again. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged at it. Ben moaned on your lips and pressed you against the couch, deepening the kiss, but then you felt something rested on your back. You laughed a little and moved aside.

“What…,” Ben began, but laughed and moved away from you when he saw that you were trying to get the bouquet, which you almost crushed.

- He is very beautiful, thanks, - you smiled, sniffed the bouquet and looked at Ben again, - I’m sorry, please forgive me.

“Only for a kiss,” he said in a stern voice, but his eyes sparkled with humor.

You kissed him tenderly on the cheek and laughed when you saw how funny Ben wrinkled his nose.

- It’s not what I had in mind ...

“You should say more precisely what you want,” she said happily and went to put the bouquet in a vase.

“I’d better show you what I want… all night,” Ben said in a hoarse voice and walked towards you. Your bad mood is long gone.


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2 years ago

Silly girl

You started dating Timothee only a month ago. You experienced warm feelings for each other, you were good together, you felt like you were home. But you and Timothee were very different. You were from different backgrounds, with different interests and preferences. But it wasn't a bad thing. You learned a lot from him, and he from you. You shared with each other your stories, your experiences, your hobbies.

Timothee loved being around people. It seemed to you that he always felt confident among them. He was an actor and of course his social life was very active. Regular business meetings. Also a lot of parties. Timothee has often invited you along as his girfriend. You've always been afraid to meet new people. It was stressful for you. Over time, you could overcome your fear a little, but you did not succeed in completely conquering it. But you couldn't refuse Timothee. Especially when he looked at you with sincerity and enthusiasm in his eyes. He sincerely wanted you to be with him. So that he can hold your hand, hug your waist among all these people. He was crazy about you and wanted to show everyone that he belongs to you and you belong to him.

  It was a party about... honestly, you had no idea what it was about. But as soon as you entered a room full of people, you immediately felt anxious. You felt like all eyes were on you. In a bad way. You were wearing a purple dress. It was simple, but you liked it. Even though Timothee held your hand the whole time, you felt like it was getting harder for you to breathe every minute. Every time Timothee introduced you to someone, you felt the eyes of these people burn through you. The way they look at you, then look at Timothee and wonder, "What's a guy like him doing with a girl like her?" You knew that these thoughts were irrational. They are the product of your imagination, you convinced yourself. Timothee has repeatedly told you how much you meant for him, how much he likes you. You haven't said the magic words "I love you" to each other yet. You were in love with him, yes. But you was afraid to say these words first.

While Timothee was talking to some guy named Jake, you excused yourself and went to find another drink. Timothee nodded to you and as you walked, you felt his eyes on you. He's been looking at you all evening. Constantly asking how you feel. You said that everything was fine with you, but it was clear that he did not believe you.

You walked over to the drinks table and grabbed another glass. You looked around the room and the people around you and all you wanted now was to become invisible. Or hide from everyone. You're not used to this. To such people, such an environment. But it was important to Timothee, and he was important to you.

You were so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you didn't notice Timothee approach you. You don't know if he called you or not, but when you felt him take your hand, you shuddered.

“God!” you said, “Tim. You scared me, - you smiled at him and saw that he was looking at you carefully.

- I'm sorry, baby. Are you okay?

- Of course, I'm f...

"Tell me the truth," he interrupted you, "please."

“What do you mean?” you asked him and honestly tried to sound convincing.

"You know what I mean," he said and moved closer to you. Then he put his hand on your cheek and began to gently stroke your face with his thumb – “you pretend all evening that you are having a good time, but I know that you are not. Your eyes betray you.”

Involuntarily, your eyes began to fill with tears, but you quickly pulled yourself together and wiped away the tear that treacherously rolled down your cheek. As soon as Timothee saw your tears, horror was reflected in his eyes.

“Baby, what…,” he began to say, but this time you didn’t let him finish.

- I`m so sorry, - you quickly began to apologize, avoiding his gaze, - it's just everything is very new to me. I mean all these people, this type of life. I've had anxiety all my life when I'm around strangers, and now it's only gotten worse. I may be acting like a child, but I feel like all these people are looking at me. And on you. When you're with me, hold my hand. It's like they're judging me for being with you. I love to go everywhere with you, but sometimes it's just too much for me. I didn't want to tell you about it because you were so happy and excited. I'm sorry.

When you finished speaking, Timothee held you tight.

“My silly girl,” he said, after which he looked into your eyes, “you should have told me everything at once. Do you think your feelings are not important? Yes, I love it when you go to events with me, I love to always be with you, but the most important thing is how you feel.

"I just…" you started, but he interrupted you again and pressed his lips to yours. After a while, he pulled away from your lips and looked into your eyes.

- Your feelings are important. You are important to me. Don't ever forget that, got it? If you feel that you are not ready to go somewhere or do something, then you immediately tell me about it. So that we can do things together that we both enjoy. The most important thing in a relationship is talking to each other, right? Do you know who told me about this? You,” he smiled tenderly and kissed me on the forehead, “besides,” Timothee whispered in my ear, “you are better than all the people who are here. With you I feel like myself. The rest of you who don't like it can fuck off.

"Thank you," you whispered and nuzzled into his neck.

"My girl," he muttered, and pulled you closer to him. Warmth spread through your body from his words.

- Tim, I like to go everywhere with you, it's just that sometimes it's ... too much, you know? I need a little time to get used to.

- Anything you want. I'll give you whatever you want, - he said sincerely.

“Do you want to leave?” Timothee asked after a couple of moments.

- Honestly? Yes, - you said modestly and smiled slightly. Timothee smiled back at you, took you tightly by the hand and led you to the exit. So that you can spend time just the two of you, away from the whole world.


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2 years ago

Fluff with Timothee Chalamet

Sorry, english is my second language

It was Sunday. You were lying on the couch with your boyfriend Timothee. It was a day off for him, but Timothee decided to check his work email anyway. Oh yes. And you have an injured arm. A couple of days ago, you fell and hurt your arm and a couple of bruises all over your body. Which sucks for a lot of reasons. First of all, your arm obviously was in pain. But, fortunately, painkillers saved you. Secondly, and in your humble opinion, this is the most important part - now Timothee practically refused to touch you, afraid of hurting you. He was constantly next to you, fulfilling your every desire (or almost any). Are you hungry? He will immediately sentence you to your beloved. Wanted to drink? You just need to tell your boy about it. Uncomfortable pillow? He will immediately bring you another one. But he refused to touch you, like really touch you. All you've gotten in the last week is a light kiss on the lips. And every minute it annoyed you more and more, because you missed your man. Which is why you're sitting here now and pouting at him after his  another "no". You knew it was stupid, but you still couldn't do anything about it.

- Baby, stop it. You know why I said no. You know how hard it is for me to say no to you,-  Timothee said softly.

You did not answer, took your phone in your hands and began to view stories on Instagram.

- My love ... - Timothee called you again, but you only muttered something indistinct in response. You missed his touch, real touch. While you tried to act like you were ignoring Timmy, you didn't notice movement next to you. Timothee quickly, but carefully, so as not to hurt you, got up from the sofa and knelt down in front of you. He gently took the phone from your hands, put it aside and looked into your eyes. In his eyes you saw all his love for you and tenderness, so your eyes began to fill with tears.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm being stupid, I just miss you," you whispered and lowered your eyes. Timothee gently put his hand on your cheek and began to gently run his thumb over your face, removing a tear that had rolled down.

- And you will soon be leaving for the shooting of a new film, and I will not be with you, and we will not see each other for so long ..., - you began to mutter, but Timothee gently pressed his lips to yours, silencing you. He kissed you slowly, savoring every moment of the kiss. You kissed him back, hugging him tighter. Your fingers of your not wounded hand immediately found his hair, and you lightly pulled on it. Timothy groaned and opened his mouth, which you took advantage of and deepened the kiss. The fire inside you flared up more and more, and you were afraid that Timothee would stop the kiss, but he was also consumed by you, as you were by him. Then Timothee pulled you closer to him and touched your injured arm. You couldn't help a groan of sudden pain, and Timothy jerked away from you.

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ... - he quickly began to tell you. Passion after the kiss, fear for you and anger at himself splashed in his eyes at the same time.

- No, everything is fine, I`m o... - you started, but he did not let you finish.

- Don't tell me everything's fine. Exactly what I was afraid happened. I couldn't control myself and hurt you, - he said angrily, - and I can't live if I hurt you.

You couldn't see him angry anymore and lowered your eyes again.

- Hey, - Timothee said again and gently lifted your face by the chin, looking into your eyes, - I love you so much. And I also want you madly, every minute. Do not doubt it. We just need to wait a bit, okay? Until you get better.

He kissed you gently on the forehead. Then you felt his lips gently squeeze your earlobe and goosebumps ran through your body.

 And then, when you feel better, - he whispered passionately in your ear, - I will not let you out of our bed for a week. I will kiss every inch of your body. I will make you moan and scream my name until you start begging me to stop.

- Promise? you asked coyly. The thought itself made your blood boil in your veins.

“I promise,” he said and kissed my temple, “now tell me what do you want to eat for dinner?”


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3 years ago

Some sweetness

You were in the kitchen cooking dinner for Billy and yourself. He had to come home from work any minute. You hardly saw each other all week due to the workload. Today you managed to leave work early and decided to cook something delicious for your boyfriend.

Suddenly you heard the front door open. You looked in the doorway and saw that Billy came home.

“Hey baby,” you said, smiling at him, “in 5 minutes, dinner will be ready,” you said and went back to cooking, trying to finish it faster. Billy didn't say anything to you, which made you frown. Suddenly you felt Billy's hands on your waist, he pressed against you from the back and buried his face in your neck, inhaling your scent.

“Hey, what's wrong?” You asked softly, stroking Billy's hands.

“It's been a damn long day,” Billy said to your neck and began to shower her with kisses. Then he turned you around to face him and passionately kissed you on the lips, trying to express with this kiss how he missed you, how he missed you. You answered the kiss and ran your fingers through his hair, pulled softly on them. Billy moaned on your lips and smiled, "I missed you," he said, and pressed his forehead to yours.

“I missed you too,” you said with a smile. You stood there for a while, just enjoying each other's company.

- we need to eat, - after a while you said, - you need to eat, - you added, - baby, you look exhausted.

- A lot of work at the office, I'll be fine, - he slightly smiled, - I'm already fine when you're next to me, - he added again, hugging you to him.

This evening, for the first time in a long time, you spent together, not looking up from each other


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2 years ago

I trust you, silly

Timothee and I have been married for several months. Of course, I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to him. Crazy schedule, long breakups, his fame, sidelong glances in my direction. And also rumors. Of course, I knew that all this would happen, and I was completely ready for anything. To be completely honest, I was prone to overthinking, but I honestly tried to control myself. Sometimes it seemed to me that Timothee was going through just as much as I did. He knows that I love him, but, as he sometimes tells me, "I'm just afraid that I'm not worthy of you." To which I usually laugh at the stupidity of this thought. He is everything I wanted and more.

Timothee was filming a new movie in another state. He called me every time he had a free minute. I was happy to hear his voice, but I wanted him to take care of himself and get some sleep. Sometimes he may forget that he needs to do things like sleep and eat. To which he always replied that he was fine and asked how my day went.

Today is my day off, Timothee won't be back any time soon, and our apartment has long needed a thorough cleaning. It seems that I have found something to do with myself.

We didn't get to talk yesterday. In the morning I sent him a message wishing good morning and a good day, to which he has not yet answered. While I was having breakfast, I decided to scroll through the Twitter feed. When I was scrolling through the news, photos of Timothee with his co-star, female co-star began to appear to me. Kristen, if I'm not mistaken. For my taste, she stood too close to him. The photo was accompanied by the caption “Problems in Paradise?”. Then there was a photo in which Kristen put her hand on my husband's shoulder. Timothee was standing with his back to the camera in the photo, so I couldn't see his face. Fans have been waiting for the release of this movie. There were a lot of fanarts that showed Timothee and Kristen together. Like together. Then I saw a short video of Kristen putting her hand on Timothy's chest and laughing. There were more photos, but I refuse to look at them. Ok, that`s enough. Enough Twitter for today. I am not a masochist.

I have no doubts about Timothee, but nevertheless I felt my blood boil involuntarily. Kristen may be the star of this movie, but Timothee is mine. I could not resist and called him, but he did not answer. Okay, enough thinking. He will call back as soon as he can. As always.

Leaving my phone on the table, I turned on the music at full volume and went to clean up. Organizing things helps you relax. After cleaning, I went to the farmers' market. Our refrigerator was empty. While I was away, my phone died. After 4 hours (oops), I finally went home and almost dropped my grocery bags. Timothee was walking towards me, holding a telephone in his hands, and traces of panic on his face.

- How ..., - I began, but he did not let me finish and wrapped his arms tightly around me. Along with packages.

- Timothee! Packages…can't hold…” I started, feeling the groceries drop from my hands onto the floor. In response, he only pulled away from me for a moment, put away his purchases, and clung to me again.

“Hey baby…don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to have you here, but you weren’t supposed to be back for another month. Baby, are you okay?”

"I couldn't get through to you all day and I panicked," he muttered into my neck.

- Timothee...

I pulled back to look into his eyes and to my horror saw unshed tears there.

- Tim, what are you doing? I was just at the market and my phone died. I didn't mean to scare you. Sorry.

I pressed my lips to his. I wanted to stop the kiss, but he didn't let me do it, but only deepened it. Instinctively, I ran my fingers through his hair and moaned.

- Babe…

Why didn't you answer me?

- Did not answer? You didn't call me

- I did! Look! - he began to show me his phone

- Maybe a bad connection or something. And then my phone died. Look, - I smiled and showed him my phone

“I thought you left me,” he suddenly said and looked away from me.

- What? Timothee! Why did you think so?

- Have you seen the photo?

- You and Kristen? Yes, but...

- That's not what it looks like! Honestly! She just got too close... and I immediately said no... and that if this happens again, then I will leave the film...

- Timothee!" I interrupted.

- No, its true. So, and then I couldn’t contact you and I panicked and immediately came…

- Baby, you are so silly, - I laughed and this time I hugged myself tightly, - I told you a thousand times that I trust you.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

- You didn`t! Oh baby, I can't believe you came all this way just because I didn't answer you for a couple of hours, - I smiled and kissed his nose

- Not a couple of hours! Almost 24 hours!

-Timothee … what am I gonna do with you?

- Never let me go. And love me,” he said embarrassedly.

"Always," I replied, and kissed him again.


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