Make It Make Sense [Part 4 - Final]

Make It Make Sense [Part 4 - Final]

pairings: soonyoung x fem!reader, wonwoo x fem!reader, (implied seokmin x fem!reader

synopsis: you’re hopelessly in love with your roommate and best friend, wonwoo, yet you’re fucking his least favorite person, kwon soonyoung? make it make sense.

genre/warnings: implied/mild smut (minors still DNI!!), pillow talk, afterglow, clubbing, drinking, use of profanity, mentions of food, implied that reader had a hard life, EVERYONE IS HEARTBROKEN, angst, fwb, one-sided pining, jealousy, love triange/square(?), unedited once again

wc: ~5.5K

a/n: remember when I told you seokmin is hot? yeah. same. my sincerest apologies @sleeplessdawn for not fulfilling your wishes, my dear friend :')

previous || masterlist || fin.

Nervously pulling at the hem of your leather jacket, you teetered on the balls on your feet in front of Jihoon’s and Soonyoung’s shared apartment. It was midnight, the hallway of their apartment building lit only by a single lamp by the elevator and the moonlight spilling through the window. Eyes trained on the peephole, you gnawed at the inside of your cheek, raising your hand tucked into a fist ready to knock. 

Your fist had all but met the roughened surface when the door swung open and Soonyoung tugged you inside his apartment. Your body was unceremoniously pressed up against the wall by the door. Your vision adjusted to the dimly lit room; you noticed Soonyoung hovering over you, his hands planted on either side of your head. An old episode of ‘Reply 1988,’ played softly from the TV behind him. 

“You came back,” Soonyoung said softly. 

You nodded, peering up at him innocently through your lashes. 

He smirked, raising his eyebrows playfully. You noticed his eyes flickering to your lips. Suddenly, they felt parched and dry; instinctively you swiped your tongue to moisten them. 

When you didn’t reply, Soonyoung leaned closer, his lips merely centimeters away from yours at this point. One small move and your lips would meet – not that you would mind. 

“Must’ve fucked you good for you to come to me,” he chortled playfully, his breath fanned across your face, feeling cool and fresh of mint. 

Your eyes traveled down the gentle slope of his nose to the slight dip of his philtrum, landing on the pucker of his lips. There was an oily sheen over them, presumably petroleum jelly, you knew he liked to put on at night because they dried out when he slept. 

His hand slipped off the wall, gingerly coming up to cup your jaw. Soonyoung tilted your face towards him, still maintaining the miniscule distance between your lips. His eyes flickered up to you, his mischievous grin now replaced with the gentle lop-sided toothless smile that made your heart skip a beat. 

“Can I kiss you?” Soonyoung asked. There was a glint of hopefulness in his eyes. 

You nodded once, slowly. 

“No words, baby?” Soonyoung poked fun, “Cat got your tongue?”

He didn’t let you answer, however. Slowly, Soonyoung pressed his lips against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut, relishing the touch of his soft lips against yours. It was so simple compared to any other kiss you’ve had in the past, yet the soft tingle in your chest since deciding to come here transformed into something like that of lightning. He was patient with you; his lips never leaving yours, but letting you take the lead on the kiss. You tilted your head to better mold your lips against one another. Soonyoung’s free arm snaked around your waist, his body coming up to press against yours while leaning against the wall. Your hands pressed into his chest, feeling the ridges of his pecs. You pressed your legs together, heat starting to emanate from your core. It was almost as if he was pouring his unspoken words of love into you – almost. 

The fact you were genuinely enjoying this and had to consciously remind yourself that this was ‘no strings attached’ terrified you, but the thrill of it was intoxicating and blinding.

 That’s why they say, love is blind, right?

 And it just wasn’t this second time you hooked up with him in which the kiss made your heart flutter. It was later that night when he placed a light peck on your nose during the first of many pillow talks to come. It was when your friends went out to the bar and the two of you lingered behind, and he drunkenly snuck a brush of his lips against yours. 

It wasn’t even the sex, but his kisses made you feel light and airy, yet secure and comfortable. 

Yet, when you found yourself in the same position with Wonwoo so many months later, the same feeling you had come to take for granted was absent.

Though your eyes did flutter shust when Wonwoo pressed his lips against your, it was darkness and then nothing. 

Wonwoo pulled away, pausing for a moment before continuing on to make sure you were okay. Much to his surprise, fear and uncertainty was written all over your face. He could feel the pressure of your hands on his chest, gently pushing at him away as you struggled out of his hold. Never wanting you to feel uncomfortable, especially with him, Wonwoo let go of you, his feet stuttering backwards. 

Your chin trembled, your chest rising and falling as your breathing grew heavy. The room was suffocating even with Wonwoo giving you space already. Vision growing blurry from the tears welling in your eyes, you gulped down the lump growing in your throat and forced yourself to look up at him. 

Wonwoo’s heart ached at your crumbling state. Despite your best efforts, tears were already streaming down your cheeks whether you knew it or not. Your cheeks were blotchy from heat, not sure if it was embarrassment or anger. Wonwoo balled his fist up and shivered at the frown that etched your face; your usual carefree face smile that brought him warmth and comfort gone. 

“Y/N,” Wonwoo approached you. 

You whimpered back and swiped at the wetness on your face, holding a hand out to stop him. “Please don’t.”

“I-I never meant to make you uncomfortable, I j-just –”

You shook your head furiously and swallowed the sob dancing on your tongue. You wanted to tell him it was fine. You wanted to tell him it was your fault because you had just confessed to him and just maybe, for once, he was reciprocating your feelings. 

Yet, you couldn’t. 

The situation too overwhelming, you raced past Wonwoo and down the hallway to your bedroom. You locked the door behind you and buried yourself into your bed. Even then, you couldn’t escape. The smell of Soonyoung’s scent, a mix of citrus and rosewood, permeated through your sheets. 

You loved Wonwoo, right? 

You wanted this, right?

So why did it feel so wrong?

. . . .

Soonyoung’s bedroom was dark, only a few streams of light from the streetlamps outside his apartment building slipped through the cracks of his blinds, casting lines of shadows across the navy-colored comforter laying over both of your naked bodies. Nestled into his side, you rested your head on his chest, the sounds of his steady heartbeat filling your ear as it lulled you to sleep. Mindlessly, you traced circles along abdomen, his breath tinkling the tops of your head as he too laid awake, relishing in the comfortable silence. 

Sex was great, but the moments afterwards in the depths of the night, laying in his arms that made your heart swell more than it should. 

“Do you ever think about the future?” Soonyoung asked softly. 

You replied with a soft hum, followed by a small sigh. “That’s a loaded question, Soonyoung.”

You felt Soonyoung shifting underneath you, turning until you were laying on his bicep. You peered up at him through your lashes, the light from outside reflecting off his deep brown irises shining like stars. Soonyoung’s hair was getting long as his messy dark bangs were starting to skim the tops of his lashes. He reached over and brushed a few strands of loose hair from your face, letting his fingers linger a little longer along the curves of your cheeks. He gave you a small smile. 

“I guess it is,” he replied, the corner of his lip quirking up into a lopsided smile. 

You shifted on your side, tucking your hands in the space between your cheek and the pillow. “But, yes I do,” you replied, deciding to entertain his question. 

Soonyoung tried to suppress the growing grin on his face, excitedly scooting towards you as if you weren’t literally thrown over half his body already. 

“What do you think about?” Soonyoung pressed on. 

“Mmm,” you hummed, “Where I’ll be in ten years, whether I’ll still be working my same job, if my friends are going to be the same, what’ll happen to my living situation if Wonwoo gets married–”

“He’d be dumb to not marry you,” Soonyoung cut you off. Your eyes trained on the blanket, you missed the way Soonyoung’s face fell at the sound of your best friend’s name. 

You smiled half-heartedly. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Soonyoung.”

Since the third time the two of you slept together, Soonyoung knew the story of Y/N and Wonwoo from front to back. He knew that Wonwoo was the shy new kid in middle school and no one wanted to be his friend except for you; how you fell for him when he took you to prom after your Mingyu had dumped you to your first heartbreak when he started dating Jiyoung in university. It was almost as if you were made for Wonwoo and Wonwoo was made for you – almost. 

There was a piece of you, however, that made you feel like the two of you didn’t make sense and were never meant to be. As much as Wonwoo disliked Soonyoung, it was common knowledge to your mutual friends that you and Wonwoo were the equivalent of night and day. 

Leather jackets were your comfort wear. Wonwoo wore suits and cardigans. 

Your body was littered with small tattoos hidden in the crevices where your mother would never find them. Wonwoo listened to his mom and preferred to keep his skin clear. 

You rode a motorcycle. Wonwoo drove a Lexus. 

You were rambunctious – volleyball was how you relieved your stress and kept you energized (also how you met Seungkwan). Wonwoo was quiet and spent his free time tucked in the corners of new bookstores or the old public library on the main street of town. 

You were everywhere and wild. 

Wonwoo was one place (home) and steady.

For that reason, when he started dating Jiyoung, you had no qualms they were  meant for each other because she was anything, but you. A dainty and petite nursing major, her outfits were always on-trend and her nails trimmed and polished with the latest color from Essie. She was calm and collected, prim and proper. 

And for that reason, when Soonyoung approached you that night after Seungkwan’s Valentine’s Day party, you drunkenly agreed to sleep with him.

Soonyoung hated the way Wonwoo made you feel so little – no, he knows it was never intended and Wonwoo may very well be oblivious, but to let you think you were less than was unacceptable. He snaked his arm around your waist and tugged you into his chest, your bare breasts pooling at his chest. You blushed sheepishly, as if he wasn’t inside of you moments earlier. 

“If he won’t marry you, I’ll marry you,” Soonyoung insisted. 

You stared at him for a moment, your eyes searching his face for any signs of mischief and teasing. Yet you were only met with a starry look, his eyes dripping with saccharine. 

And again, that terrified you. 

Feigning annoyance, you rolled your eyes, taking it as a joke and playfully whacking his chest. “Sure thing, Romeo.”

Little did you know he was quite half-serious, holding onto the sliver of hope that you’d some day see him more than just a fuck buddy. 

That time, though it hurt him a little that you weren’t taking him seriously, he decided to play along. “You’re fun to fuck – probably the best pussy I’ve ever had. Why would I want to give it up?”

“Ew,” you whined, “Stop,” you pointed a finger into his chest, “You sound like a stupid sixteen year-old boy.”

“But it’s the truth.” (that I’d marry you if you let me.)

You turned in his hold, letting your back face him. Soonyoung came up behind you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He placed a feathery kiss along your shoulder. 

“The offer still stands,” he whispered softly, “Say the word and I’ll come running after you with a ring.”

You let your eyes close, a heaviness suddenly overcoming your body. “I’ll hold you to it.”

What you had remembered that morning, you had woken up to his side of the bed empty. You had figured he had work early – and Soonyoung never stayed long enough for the two of you to wake up together. 

Soonyoung never came back, so the knocking and calling at your door that was disturbing your early morning sleep took you by surprise. 

“Y/N,” Soonyoung tried again – his voice sounded different. Why was it so deep?

You rubbed your eyes, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light streaming into your room. 

“Y/N?” Soonyoung asked more than said this time. 

You were really starting to be confused now. Soonyoung’s voice wasn’t deep, but it wasn’t high-pitched either. It was smooth like honey – this one was so baritone, a slight hoarseness to it. 

When your eyes finally adjusted, your vision landing on the blue heart sticker from Wonwoo on your bluetooth speaker, reality was finally flooding back into your consciousness. 

One: you had dreamt about a night with Soonyoung – the whole marriage conversation was real and it had happened, but he wasn’t here. He hadn’t been here for a week. 

Two: you were avoiding Wonwoo. You got up an hour early to leave for work. Most of your evenings were spent in your room. You ate out with your friends when possible, if not, then cup noodles in your room, and you waited until the wee hours of the night to do your laundry. 

Three: That was Wonwoo talking to you through the door, not Soonyoung. He had trying to talk to you for the past two days now and all you’ve ever did was give him curt replies. 

Wonwoo knew that when things got like this, you’d rather just be left alone. But he had to try; for him, for you, for the both of you. 

“Did you want to go get brunch?” Wonwoo asked softly. He squeezed his eyes tightly. “Before we meet the others today?”

Fuck.

Hyejin’s boyfriend’s birthday. 

Jun had personally invited all of your friends to join him, which was a huge deal because Jun was shy and he hardly went out unless it was under Hyejin’s insistence. 

However, you also knew that going to this party also meant seeing Soonyoung, and in front of Wonwoo. Pulling your hoodie over your head, you let out a small groan, not sure if you were ready for that pressure yet. 

With a heavy sigh, you rolled out of bed, shuffling to the door, but never opening it. Leaning against the doorframe you told him quietly, “I don’t think I’m going to go.”

Wonwoo paused, well knowing why, but asked anyway. “Why?”

“I’m not feeling well,” you fibbed, “You should . . . go without me.”

Unlike most times where he'd laugh and accuse you of being a liar, he hummed softly instead, nodding though you couldn’t see him. “Did you want me to go get anything to make you feel better? Soup?”

You picked guiltily at a loose thread on your sweater. It crushed you to know he was being so considerate of you, even after you’ve avoided him all this time. 

“No, thanks,” you muttered. 

“Okay,” Wonwoo replied. 

Silence, then a beat. 

You had thought he had left, but Wonwoo took you by surprise, calling your name again. 

“Can we talk?” Wonwoo asked, so soft, it was almost-childlike. 

You stayed quiet on your end. 

“Whenever you’re ready, let’s talk,” Wonwoo pressed on, “You’re my best friend, I don’t want to lose you.”

Best friend. 

Yet, that cursed word didn't echo in your ears and cut at your heart like it used to anymore. 

“Okay.”

When he heard you shuffling back to your bed, Wonwoo finally left your door, making his way to the kitchen to look for brunch. It was the same thought that was still heavy on his mind. 

You were his best friend and he was in love with you. 

And he hated himself for not realizing it sooner. He took your constant presence for granted, not batting an eye in your direction, blindly wondering why none of his past relationships worked out well when he and his series of ex-girlfriends seemed to be the right fit for each other. 

He was looking for you in other people – and even if the two of you had nothing but bones in common, there was a mutual understanding of respect, love, and support. You hated gaming, but you’d sit and wait for him for hours because it made him happy. Clubs made Wonwoo self-conscious, but he’d go because you loved dancing – and to keep you safe. Bookstores made you feel drowsy, but you’d wander the shelves while he read because it brought him calm and joy. Your motorcycle terrified Wonwoo, but he’d ride because it was you. 

You drove Wonwoo insane sometimes with your spontaneous ways and he feared for your life with how risky you were. Nonetheless, the euphoria of watching glow at your happiest was unmatched. Life may not have been the kindest to you, but the bouts of laughter that spilled from your red-stained lips and the way your eyes crinkled – it was a glimpse of the bright little girl who kept bothering him in middle school during lunch hour all those years ago. 

You were always precious – you still were. 

. . . .

The club wasn’t Wonwoo’s scene. 

And worse, he was here without you. 

Gulping down the lump in his throat, he pushed open the glassdoor, stopping by the bouncers for them to scan him and give him his wristband for alcohol. A heavy beat thumped throughout the dark building, rainbow lights flashed across the dancing crowd. Eyes of women and men in skimpy outfits alike scanned Wonwoo’s form clad in jeans and simple black T-shirt. Today, he traded his eyeglasses for contacts in fear of someone bumping him and dropping them to their doom on the floor. Pushing his way through the crowd to find his friends, sweaty bodies rubbed up against him. He grimaced at the brush of their skin, never being so grateful to see Seungkwan’s bleach blonde head of hair at the edge of the dance floor. He called out to his friend who returned with a wave, his bright smile suddenly drooping into a frown. 

“Where’s Y/N?” Seungkwan asked the moment he arrived. His eyes scanned the crowd behind him, waiting for you to pop up any second now. Out of the corner of his eyes, Wonwoo noted Soonyoung leaning against the bar, clad in black, swirling a shot of tequila in his hands. 

“Y/N’s . . . not feeling well,” Wonwoo muttered, his gaze returning to Seungkwan. He rubbed his hands along the thighs of his jeans. 

Soonyoung’s ears perked at the fall of your name from his cursed lips. 

“Oh,” Seungkwan nodded slowly, poking his tongue in his cheek. “Interesting. She’s not . . . sick, is she?”

Wonwoo shook his head. “Just . . . not in the right mood.”

Perhaps it was the alcohol coursing through his veins, or perhaps, he truly was ticked off at Wonwoo. Soonyoung spun around, leaning against the bar, and raised a curious eyebrow at him. 

“Not in the right mood?” Soonyoung spat. “I wonder who’s fault that is.”

Wonwoo clenched his jaw. He sucked in a deep breath, attempting to calm himself. 

Stuck in between his two friends, Seungkwan’s eyes nervously flickered between the two of them. Seungkwan was well aware of the tension going on between the two, that reason involving you. Yours and Soonyoung’s disappearance from the amusement park last week didn’t take much brain power to figure out your situation. 

“Um,” Seungkwan licked his lips. He turned to Wonwoo hoping he was the more reasonable and clear-minded of the two since he hadn’t drank. Seungkwan wrapped his arm around Wonwoo’s. “Let’s go say ‘hi’ to Hyejin and Jun – they’re over there.”

Cursing under his breath, Soonyoung fished his phone out of his pocket. As he had told Jihoon, he was on a quest to forget you. Clearly, you had no feelings for him, so he shouldn’t waste his time right? Soonyoung had told you he wanted to end things that day after the amusement park and he would follow-through with it. 

Yet, the thought of you not feeling well and Wonwoo acting sketchy tugged at his heartstrings. At the very least, he could be a good friend and check-in on you. He knew how suffocating it was to live with Wonwoo at times. 

Soonyoung: Are you okay?

Soonyoung: Why aren’t you here tonight?

Soonyoung: Call me when you get this. Please – just wanna make sure you’re okay. 

The ‘1’ next to all his messages disappeared, indicating that you’ve read them. He stared at his screen, waiting for your reply, but as the minutes passed, nothing. 

He hissed, throwing his phone with a clatter on the granite counter of the bar. He hailed the bartender, requesting another shot of tequila – then another and another. One shot turned into two, two turned into four, and four turned into eight. The noise around him started to blend. When Jihoon asked if he was okay, his voice sounded distant. It was almost as the beat of the drum was pounding on the walls of his skull. 

His thoughts swimming of only you and muddled with alcohol, he hardly remembered the rest of the night. It was a blur; only bits and pieces were vivid. Soonyoung had danced with someone – was it you? No, they smelled of vanilla and you hated the scent, claiming it smelled too sweet. Another drink with Jun. One with Hyejin. He recalled the crunch of his fist landing on someone’s jaw, the shrieks of the crowd, Jihoon shoving him to the ground, then everything went black.

Only the sound of your giggles echoed in his ears – the one only reserved for him in the sacred moments of the night. 

Except he knew, you weren’t really there – you never were. 

You were never Soonyoung’s and you never will be. 

That was fucking sad. 

. . . .

“Soonyoung and Wonwoo got into a fight,” Seungkwan explained half-heartedly. He stood sullenly like a child in trouble with his mother in front of you, while Wonwoo’s head rested in your lap. He winced as you pressed the bag of frozen peas up against the purple bruise bloom on his cheekbone. He clenched his teeth tight – you noted how the cut on the corner of his lip split further, a trickle of blood oozing out. 

You sniffled, brushing away Wonwoo’s bangs, closely examining his face to make sure you didn’t miss any other bruises or cuts. 

“Soonyoung?” you asked.

“Jihoon took him home – got dinged in the eye, I think,” Seungkwan scratched his temple. Your eyes trained on Wonwoo’s forehead, you missed the exasperated look on your friend’s face. 

A moment of silence swaddled the three of you, Seungkwan watching you sniffle while icing Wonwoo’s wounds. The latter gentleman moaning and burying his face in your abdomen each time you tried to leave the pack on his face for too long. Seungkwan didn’t want to say it out loud, but you looked so . . . pitiful. 

Your cheeks were hollow, your hair disheveled, bags hung underneath your eyes as if you hadn’t slept well in days. He was vaguely familiar with what he assumed to be the love triangle between you, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo, and though it seemed exciting like a drama, it seemed to wear on you so much already. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan called softly. 

You looked up at him, surprised he hadn’t left yet. Swiping at your nose, you told him, “Y-you can go home. I got it from here. He’ll be okay.”

“But will you be okay?” Seungkwan asked purposefully. 

Your eyes landed on the Mickey Mouse mug sitting on the coffee table. The lip of the cup was stained with coffee in the shape of lips that wrapped around its edges. It was a truly ugly mug, but it was one of the only gifts Wonwoo had ever managed to win you from a claw machine. 

“Y/N,” Seungkwan sighed, coming to sit by your side. 

He frowned, raising a hand to your back, giving you soft pats. 

“It’s been hard, hasn’t it?” Seungkwan asked. He smiled half-heartedly, not waiting for you to answer – he knew you wouldn’t answer. If he knew anything about you, you were equally as emotionally constipated as Wonwoo when it came to feelings of love and sadness. 

“I . . . don’t know what you’re going through right now, or what’s on your mind,” Seungkwan started hesitantly, “But I hope whatever the outcome or whatever decision you make, you do it for you and what makes you happy.”

A tear silently rolled down your cheek, splattering onto Wonwoo’s cheek. It slid down his porcelain skin into the thick of his hair. 

“You’ve . . . denied your feelings for a long time,” Seungkwan continued, “Of course, I don’t know them or what they are, but you’re always so stubborn when it comes to admitting them, you know?” he chortled lightly, twiddling his thumbs. “I can’t say much without prying into the situation, but as corny as this sounds, follow your heart – even if they’re mad now,” he gestured to Wonwoo, then the door, which you assumed he was gesturing at Soonyoung a distance away, “One day they’ll understand.”

After helping put Wonwoo to bed that night, Seungkwan left, giving you a hug as you wept into his chest, reminding you that he’s only one call away. 

When enough tears had been shed you turned to your phone, hoping to talk to the one person who knew how to comfort you most – sex aside. 

Not surprisingly, it’s almost as if he already knew you were down, an unread text message sitting in your inbox. 

Soonyoung: I’m so sorry. 

Soonyoung: I never got to say it, but I love you. 

Y/N: Kwon Soonyoung – you can’t just say that and run. 

Scrambling up from your bed, your fingers fumbled to text him back. 

Y/N: I have something to tell you – can we talk? Please?

Soonyoung: [system error – your message was not delivered. number has been blocked] 

. . . .

Eight Months Later

The soft lofi music tinkled in the background of the rustic cafe. The wide windows allowed the last bits of sunlight to spill inside, adding a golden glow to the metal furniture that contrasted the wooden floor and walls. Plants spilled from their pots, some vines that lined the furthest wall of the building. They were growing healthily under the care of their soft-hearted owner who claimed that plants brightened the air of his cafe, allowing for an aura of “freshness” amidst his customers. The sound of the espresso machine grinding coffee beans hissed in the background, the hearty smell already wafting into your nostrils.

“Yeah, Saturday dinner sounds good,” you leaned against the counter, pressing your phone in between your ear and your shoulder. A soft chortle left your prettily glossed lips, echoing through the empty coffee shop. You were usually the last one here anyways. 

With your 0.4 black Muji pen, you quickly scribbled something down in your planner. Your handwriting was equally pretty: the curve of your d’s swoop of your r’s was done so eloquently – at least in his eyes. 

“If you feel so inclined to do so, Wonwoo,” you rolled your eyes. “M’kay – I will, good night.”

The corner of your lips curled up into a gentle smile he seldom saw whenever you came to the cafe. You were always typing away at something or flipping through that notebook with flimsy blue-lined paper. Your handwriting was pressed into the white space in between. 

“Boyfriend?” Seokmin asked curiously, walking over to your counter. He wiped off a drip of coffee on the washcloth hanging from his jeans. 

“No,” you shook your head, a chortle escaping your lips at the handsome cafe owner. You closed your laptop and tucked it away in your bag.You noted the pink collared shirt he was wearing, the top two clasps unbuttoned, revealing a crisp white shirt underneath. Pink was a nice color on him. “Best friend.”

“Oh?” Seokmin raised an eyebrow curiously. 

You frowned at him.

“This means you’re still single? And I can still shoot my shot?” he teased, leaning on his side of the counter, planting his chin in his hands. He eyed you curiously. 

“No,” you replied exasperated, rejecting him for the umpteenth time. 

You had been coming to Cafe Quartz for the past few months to study for your post-graduate entrance exam. You stayed later than most customers, usually one of the last few to leave, if not the last one. One evening, when you were feeling extra stressed between work, moving, and registering for this cursed exam, the cafe owner, Seokmin, had offered you his new recipe of matcha latte, on-the-house (he noticed you never ordered actual coffee), and struck up a conversation with you, hoping to brighten your day. 

Since then, he’d been slowly getting to know you, and frankly, he was interested – romantically. Unfortunately, the first time he had asked you out for dinner, you had blushed profusely, apologizing and declining his offer, explaining you weren’t in the right headspace to start anything now. He wasn’t sure of your history or what happened to you before you came here, seldom talking about your personal life, but he wanted to, so he didn’t stop. At some point, his requests became an ongoing joke between the two of you. He had hope someday if he asked you enough, you’d finally say yes. 

The two of you shared small updates about your day. You had set your date for your entrance exam and Seokmin shared his anecdote about the new part-timer he was considering hiring – Chan, a spunky university student in a dance crew who was in need of some extra cash. 

“He sounds passionate and willing to work hard at least,” you noted, hooking your thumb in the leather strap of your bag. 

“I’m just afraid he’ll start ‘breaking it down’ in the middle of the cafe,” Seokmin joked, faking a grab at his crotch then his forehead to imitate Michael Jackson. 

“I’ll be here for the show if he does then,” you giggled, “He’ll add some nice pizzazz to the cafe.”

“I guess,” Seokmin chuckled along. 

Silence fell between the two of you. Seokmin staring at your starry-eyed and affectionately. You didn’t know how to describe it, but he was oddly so . . . pure and wholesome for a grown man. It made you forget about all the stress in your life – just good energy that reminded you’ve been long overdue for. Seokmin was a cheerful and sometimes goofy spirit that reminded you of . . . him. 

“Well, I’ll catch you tomorrow then?” you said, shooing away thoughts of Soonyoung. 

“Where else would I be other than here?” Seokmin replied. 

You shrugged on your way out. Hand on the lever, you called back, “Maybe finally on a date with someone who’s not me?”

Seokmin pointed at you, sending a teasing wink in your direction. “Don’t count on it!”

You waved at him through the window, tucking in one of your earbuds into your ear as you set off down the street. He bid you goodbye the same, watching you disappear around the corner. Letting out a deep breath from another successful day, Seokmin relaxed his shoulders, rolling the knots out of his neck. 

Unfortunately, however, his eyes landed on a small pink faux leather wallet. Green and red credit cards peaked out some pockets. Reaching over, he immediately identified it as yours with your ID displaying on the front.

Odd, he thought to himself, someone who dressed in such seemingly dark colors carrying something so bright.

He should probably give it back though in case you needed it tomorrow before you came here.

Tucking the key to the cafe in his pocket, Seokmin raced out after you, hoping you weren't too far gone yet. Pumping his legs and arms, he rounded the corner, nearly colliding into you.

"Oh - hey!" Seokmin chuckled, steadying himself, grabbing your arm.

Except you didn't budge or look at him - your eyes trained on something, or rather someone, a few feet ahead of you. You seemed to be in such distress - the way your eyes rimmed red, the crinkle of your brows, and the way your bright smile from earlier suddenly downturned.

"Y/N?" Seokmin asked, concern lacing his tone. He frowned, turned and squinted at the person you were staring at.

He was dressed in an oversized plaid shirt paired with light wash jeans. His black locks were cut short - honestly, he looked kind of dumb with how choppy his bangs were. Whoever cut it needed to refund his money. Seokmin made note of the nick in his eyebrow. The tall, lanky man was staring back at you with an equally stunned expression - if not less melancholic. His plush lips were parted, his seemingly sharp eyes drooped in what appeared to be hurt. The girl with jet black hair in a sky blue cardigan and tweed skirt standing to him, appeared just as confused as Seokmin.

"Soonyoung?" you called out, his name leaving your lips for the first time in months. 

DK in Seventeen MVs   ↳ happy 10 year mutualiversary @alrightyaphroditie💕

17 days of cheol - day 6: attacca op1 jacket shoot

(*/ω＼)

Make It Make Sense [Part 3]

pairings: soonyoung x fem!reader, wonwoo x fem!reader

synopsis: you’re hopelessly in love with your roommate and best friend, wonwoo, yet you’re fucking his least favorite person, kwon soonyoung? make it make sense.

genre/warnings: explicit smut (minors DNI!!), unprotected sex (soonyoung forgot the goods . . .), consensual intercourse (honestly soonyoung is so sexc for this), car sex, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), cunninglus, squirting, creampie, riding, use of profanity, angst, fwb, one-sided pining, SO MUCH jealousy, oc teases soonyoung about being a fuckboi, soonyoung cries, wonwoo is emotionally constipated, unedited - everyone ask surprise

wc: ~5k

taglist: @onlymingyus @listxn @deekayownsme @greasywall @pandorashbox @felix-3002 @haobrainrot @misssugarlips @pooofthechicken @mysweetdokyungsoo @horangh03 @skittlez-area512 @haogyuslut @starlight-night0 @omghwa @defprettysoul

pls lmk through an ask if you wanted to be part of the taglist! if you asked previously and i forgot to add you, i apologize 😭 the request was everywhere, but i did my best to find everyone!

a/n: y'all haven't seen the last of jeon wonwoo! blaming @sleeplessdawn😤😈

p.s. the smut ain't that great this time around because i had a hit of reality and got shy . . . not to mention their arguments are kind of stupid lol, so yeah . . . sorry - read at your own risk aka cringe!!!

as always, thank you for reading! i would love to hear your thoughts whether it be trhough rbs/asks/comments 🥰

previous || masterlist || next

The car door slammed loudly behind him. On the palm of your hands, you crawled back towards the opposite door to make room for Soonyoung in the backseat of his SUV. Hastily, he discarded his jean jacket in the front driver’s seat. His breathing was uneven from the speedwalk from the amusement park to the far end of the parking lot. If it were up to Soonyoung, he would’ve taken you in the bathroom, but he had the decency to consider that it was a family-friendly attraction – it was not sexy to be caught balls deep in the girl of dreams while traumatizing a six-year-old boy. It was moments like this he was grateful, he spent an arm and Jihoon’s leg on this SUV. 

Soonyoung’s touch was titillating. He wrapped his hands around your ankles, slowly sliding them up your shins, coming to a rest on your thigh just at the hem of your leather skirt. Running his tongue over his lips, he looked up at you curiously, silently waiting for you to give him the ‘okay’ to go further. You hated this version of Soonyoung: his sharp eyes suddenly turned innocent, his teasing smile that he traded for a soft one that made his cheeks look like dough, his eagerness and stubbornness to take things head on, gone because he wanted to be patient for you. Though seeming vulnerable, this version of Soonyoung had the power to mitigate all thoughts of Wonwoo; instead, it was as if this whole time Soonyoung who had been your whole world. It made your stomach churn, bile threatening to come up your esophagus. 

But was it out of guilt?

Or denial?

With a shaky sigh, your eyes fluttered shut, giving him a slow nod to move forward. Heat pooled at your core as you felt his fingers brush against your skin underneath hidden by your skirt. You clenched at nothing at the touch of his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. Through the fabric of your underwear, he let his finger dance across the outline of your slit. Your thighs threatened to collapse at his touch, but Soonyoung was quick to push them wide again. One finger became two and two became three – it wasn’t long before his whole hand was rubbing at your clothed core. You jutted your hips into his touch, grinding along with his movements. 

Soonyoung watched your face contort in pleasure. Your lips falling agape, veins popping along your neck as you tried to fight a whine threatening to escape. Your underwear began feeling damp, your slick starting to soak through the cotton. He pressed harder into your core, eliciting garbled sound from you as you tried to stop a moan. 

“It’s okay, baby,” Soonyoung soothed you, “Let it out – it’s just you and me here.”

However, rather than listening to him, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth in an effort to seal your lips. 

Soonyoung chuckled – you were never really one to listen anyways. 

“Here,” Soonyoung leaned down, hovering over your face. His eyes scanned your face from the thick of your eyebrows to the plush of your lips, “Let me help you.”

He pushed aside your underwear, rubbing his thumb over your bare clit when suddenly he plunged a finger into you. You immediately released your bottom lip from your teeth, whining from the sensation of his finger circling against your warm walls. Soonyoung took the opportunity to mold his lips against yours. His tongue swiped over your plush lips, a hint of cotton candy the cotton candy you shared with Wonwoo earlier, filling his taste buds. Pressing a hand on his chest, you granted him access, slipping your own inside his mouth, adjusting your head to better fit your lips together. 

Kissing Soonyoung felt like the thrill of riding a roller coaster. The suck of your bottom lip sent butterflies fluttering in your abdomen. The swipe of his tongue along the inside of your cheek was euphoric. Even when he pulled away for a millisecond for air, there was exhilaration in wondering where his lips would land next. 

You were on cloud nine, but you were greedy for more. Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself wrapping your hands around the nape of his neck, tugging Soonyoung down closer to you. You moved your hips forward, allowing his finger to penetrate even deeper inside of you. He pushed an additional finger inside of you, figuring you could handle the stretch being so eager. You entangled your fingers at the sensation, tugging at his jet black locks, now Soonyoung’s to let out a grunt at your rough touch. 

“Want you inside me,” you whispered in between pecks. 

“Later,” Soonyoung immediately replied, his two digits moving languidly in and out of you,“Wanna,” he paused to plant a kiss on the corner of your lips, “eat you out.”

Immediately, Soonyoung felt your core squeeze, flooding his fingers with your juice. Sound of your pussy squelching around his fingers was heavenly. It sent blood rushing to his dick as it began twitching in his jeans. He felt the precum already squirting from his tip, dampening a patch on his boxers. 

As quickly as he put in his second finger, Soonyoung slipped his fingers out. You whined at the emptiness, resting your head against the windowsill behind you, fog hiding yours and Soonyoung’s dirty deed from public view. Giving you one last kiss, he sucked harshly on your bottom lip. A peck on your neck, a peck on your collarbone, a peck on your sternum, then your bare abdomen, then the insides of your thighs, he made his way down to your core. 

Flipping up your skirt, Soonyoung pushed aside your cotton panties that were sopping with your juices. Hungrily, his tongue swiped once up your slit, his lips then molding onto your sensitive bud, sucking and nipping. Replacing his mouth with his thumb, he pressed up into your clit, moving in the shape of a figure eight. His touch was slow at first, starting to speed up as he moved down lower, his breath fanning over your hole. You shivered at the teasing sensation, squirming under his firm hold. You were sorry for whoever would be sitting here afterwards, your juices probably staining the plush seats of his SUV. 

Soonyoung pulled apart your folds, his tongue dipping into your entrance and lapping at your pink walls. You winced once again at his euphoric touch, your hands immediately shot down, grabbing a handful of his hair and rammed him further into your core. He groaned at your tug, sending vibrations through you. The combination of his tongue and his thumb overwhelming your senses, you felt adrenaline surge through your veins and your vision blotted white. A gush of warm fluid suddenly spilled into Soonyoung’s mouth, taking him by surprise. 

You fucking squirted. 

Right into his mouth. 

“Baby that was so,” Soonyoung ran his tongue slowly over his lips, savoring the taste of you, “Hot.”

He chuckled, expecting another whine or complaint from you, but was met with nothing. He bent down to hover over you, either hands planted on either sides of your face. Your eyes were sealed shut, blood drawing from a cut on your bottom lips. He frowned at your wound, leaning down to give it a soft kiss as if it would heal it. You tasted yourself from his peck, frowning in the process. Your hands flew to your face in embarrassment when he pulled back. 

“I can’t believe I just did that,” you said, your voice muffled by your palms. 

Soonyoung chuckled, grabbing your wrist and trying to pull them away from your face. “Relax, it was fine!”

“No it’s not!” you whined, “I like . . . peed into your mouth!”

“And it was delicious.”

Your hands fell just far enough to show your eyes staring daggers at him, your brows furrowed together in disgust. Teasingly, Soonyoung licked his lips once more to make a point. 

“You –”

His hearty laughter reverbated off the insides of the SUV. Soonyoung wrapped his arms around the small of your waist, letting his head dip into your chest, his breath fanning against your exposed skin. You let your hands slip to the crown of his head, gently stroking his hair, doing your best to suppress the urge to giggle with him. 

As Soonyoung came down from his high, he raised his head to look at you, chin resting on your sternum. You pouted at him, though he knew you were only feigning annoyance – you looked so fucking cute, he couldn’t resist the urge to devour your lips once more. 

“I’m not done with you yet, you know?” Soonyoung whispered when he pulled away. 

“You better not be,” you challenged him, a dark glint flashing across your eyes. 

Excitedly, he sat back in his seat, fishing his wallet out of back pocket. Rifling past the few bills and scraps of receipt, Soonyoung looked for the spare condom he always carried with him in case or emergencies like this. Thumbing past the last receipt from the fried chicken restaurant he treated Seungkwan to, the writing already faded, he found none. He quickly sorted through the contents again, his eyes peeled for the golden wrapper. 

"Soonyoung," you moaned, dragging out the last syllable of his name.

Dumping the contents of his wallet onto the front seat, his hand ran over everything. Unfortunately, nothing new was found other than a few spare coins.

Soonyoung's lips parted in disbelief, his heart sinking into the depths of his stomach, silently berating himself for not replenishing his stores. You were sad and needy now, his dick was still stiff, and he couldn't do anything about it. 

When did he last use it? You're the only person he'd been sleeping with these past few months, granted the two of you had a lot of sex he didn't always remember.

"Soonyoung?" you tried again, pushing yourself up by your elbows.

"Baby," he responded gently, leaning forward to capture your lips, his hand brushing away the few strands of hair.

"I need you," you replied breathlessly when he pulled away, pawing at his thighs. "Please."

"I have something to tell you, baby," Soonyoung said hesitantly.

You peered up at him, waiting for him to reply.

"I-I don't have a condom," Soonyoung confessed, "I don't know what happened to it - I always keep one in there . . . I'm sorry baby."

A soft 'oh' left your lips. Your eyes fell from his gaze, landing on your near bare abdomen. You clenched, your core aching at the sense of emptiness.

Pressing his lips against your temple, Soonyoung apologized again. "I can. . . Eat your out again? Or finger you? Ride my thigh? Anything you want."

Your eyes flickered up to him, quickly reaching for his hand and lacing your fingers together, you gave him a soft squeeze.

"It’s okay," you told him.

Soonyoung's eyes fluttered shut and rested his forehead against yours. He shook his head. "No it's not."

You paused, staring off at a spot behind him.

"We can do it without it," you said.

"W-what?" Soonyoung asked, not believing his ears. He stared at you blankly. Condomless sex had never an option – the both of you agreed when this all started. 

"Do me raw,” you said in a small voice. Your knees fell to either side. Gnawing at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself towards him, urging him to continue. 

"Baby –"

"I'm the only other person you've been with recently right?"

Soonyoung nodded fiercely.

"Are you clean?"

"I got checked before we started - as far as I know, I am."

"Me too " the corner of your lips twitched into a subtle smile.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, or vice versa. You had an IUD, so pregnancy wasn’t so much of a concern, and clearly neither were STIs, but you could never be too sure. 

What could’ve hanged?

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure . . . I want to feel all of you."

Soonyoung searched your face for any signs of uncertainty, only to be met with eagerness swimming across your eyes. 

“I trust you, Youngie,” you pleaded. 

His dick strained against his jeans. 

Fucking hell. 

Not that nickname. 

It was childishly stupid, but it was seldom you ever called him ‘Youngie.’

Soonyoung started undoing the buckle of his jeans, his fingers fumbling with the button and zipper. Simultaneously, he slipped his boxers and jeans off together, his member slapping against his lower abdomen. Your mouth salivated at his angry red tip dripping with precum. 

"Okay," Soonyoung repositioned himself in between your legs. He ran his hands up your thighs, readjusting your skirt for better access to your entrance. He rubbed his member to spread his precum, better preparing himself for what was to come. With the wetness pooling at your entrance from your squirt, he figured he wouldn't have a problem sliding in, but he wanted to make sure it'd be pleasurable for you.

Soonyoung plunged into you, immediately being welcomed with warmth, your walls hugging him and pulsating against his member as he nudged in further. His tip and little more only part way in, you clenched around him, sending a surge of pleasure through his body. 

“Fuck,” Soonyoung hissed as his hips stuttered, abruptly stopping. He lurched forward impulsively, quickly grabbing onto the seat to prevent himself from collapsing onto you. 

“More, Soonyoung, more!” you begged. 

“D-don’t do that,” Soonyoung chuckled. 

“Do what?” you asked innocently. Your walls fluttered around him again. 

“That!” he winced, letting out a deep breath. “I’m not going to last if you keep squeezing my dick.”

“Sorry,” you muttered. 

“I-it’s fine,” Soonyoung shook his head. “Just . . . try to relax okay?”

You nodded. You took a deep breath, your walls relaxing around him.

He cupped your cheek, you instantly leaned into his touch. “I’m going all in.”

Soonyoung bottomed out, his tip nudging at your cervix. Your arms came up to hook under his shoulders for support, the sensation simultaneously painful, yet pleasurable. You could feel the ridges and valleys of his members, the veins of his dick pulsating violently inside you. He was so warm inside of you and he hadn’t even cummed yet. Had you known he’d feel this good raw, you would’ve tried this sooner. 

“C-can I move?” Soonyoung stammered, “Nnnhhhnnggghh.”

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice equally strained. 

Using the head of the seat as support, Soonyoung slowly started pulling out of you. His smooth flesh dragged slowly along walls, the ticklish sensation intoxicating. Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders, dragging them down his back like his dick inside of you.

Pushing himself back in, Soonyoung curled into your neck, peppering wet kisses along the column of your throat. You tilted your head to give him better access, his lips finally latching on the sensitive spot behind your ear. 

Soonyoung started to establish his usual rhythm, his rips gyrating as he listlessly pumped inside of you. The sounds of your slick mixing together littered the air like an addicting beat. You were thirsty for his dick; not wanting to be disconnected from him for too long, you found yourself meeting him halfway. Your clit rammed violently against his pubic bone, sending an electric jolt to your stomach each time. 

Typically when the two of you had sex, it was Soonyoung who entertained you. You'd let him fuck you into depths of the bed and he'd make you cum first. You were feeling adventurous today, however, wanting to turn the tables.

Hooking your legs around his thighs and a hand on his chest, you pushed him back and sat up in his lap in one swoop. His dick still stiff inside you, Soonyoung sat back willingly, his hands flying up to hold you steady. You pressed your boobs against his chest, nearly pooling at his neck. You slowly peeled your jacket off your shoulders, revealing the white bandeau you wore underneath that he loved so much.

"W-what are you-"

"Let me ride you," you told him.

And you weren't taking no for an answer. 

Delicately placing your hands on his shoulders, you raised your ass to sink down on him.

This angle certainly offering you a new kind of pleasure - sharper and deeper, as if he would split you open.

Despite you doing most of the work, Soonyoung guided your hips, his hand squeezing your waist and occasionally pushing you back and forth on his dick. 

Your hands slid up his neck to cup his chin, allowing yourself for once to look into his eyes during these sacred moments. Your breath hitched, a lump forming in your throat. Honey dripping from his dark eye, his pupils blown wide as if he was drunk.

And truthfully, he was. 

Kwon Soonyoung was drunk on you (and your pussy).

Soonyoung slammed you downed against him, not letting you move any further. You didn't have to ask to know what was coming, the way he pressed his lips together, his eyes rolling back. 

You stayed still as his cum covered your walls, your own high quick to follow the longer to stayed wrapped around him. Collapsing into his chest, your pussy tightened around him, milking out every last drop.

The two of you stayed like this a while longer, your head tucked into his chest, Soonyoung’s arms coming to wrap around you. His phallus softened inside of you, but not quite ready to lose the bliss of him inside you yet. 

. . . . 

“You conveniently have a towel in your car?” you asked as Soonyoung cleaned off your folds. 

“Open wider,” he ignored your question and folded the wash cloth in half, flicking your thigh. You obliged, granting him better access. You winced as the terry material rubbed roughly between your folds. 

“Do you end up fucking all those girls in your car too?” you pulled your knees together, clamping your hands in between after he finished. 

Soonyoung’s expression immediately fell at your words, his jaw clenched as he let his hand drop to his side. "Do you really think I see other women besides you right now?" 

He didn't wait for you to reply. One hard stare at you, he left the side door of the SUV and made his way to the trunk. You frowned at his reaction. He used to always tease back when you joked about him fucking other women. 

Soonyoung tossed the washcloth haphazardly next to the duffel bag, making a mental note to replace it when he got home. Slamming the door the trunk shut. His hand lingered on the door handle. He planted his forehead against them, contemplating his situation right now.

“We’re not going back into –”

“You really think they waited three hours for us to finish fucking?” Soonyoung replied harshly. 

You clamped your mouth shut, drawing your lips in between your teeth. Tugging at the hem of your skirt, you got up from the backseat and made your way around the front to avoid him to the get to the passenger seat. 

Fastening the seatbelt across your torso, you heard him clamber into the driver’s seat, harshly slamming the door. 

“Soonyoung –”

“Can I be honest with you?” Soonyoung cut you off. His eyes were trained out the front window, however. 

“Course,” you mumbled. The space between your brows dipped in confusion at his sudden change in demeanor. After sex, he had grown quiet, which is unusual of him – he was usually playful, doting and teasing you. However, you didn’t think too much of it, post-nut clarity hitting you pretty quickly, realizing you left all your friends, including Wonwoo, behind in the amusement park to fuck in the parking lot. How were you going to explain your disappearance other than the truth?

"Don't go back to Wonwoo," he deadpanned.

"What?" you frowned, "Soonyoung, I live with him, I just can't -"

"He doesn't even look at you the same!" Soonyoung blurted.

“What are you trying to get at?” 

Finally, he looked up at you, a bittersweet smile quivering on his lips. “You look at Wonwoo with so, so, so much fucking love it hurts, Y/N – like he’s your whole world; your beginning, middle, and end.”

You paused, heart starting to pound against your ribcage as you tried to strady your breathing. You had an inkling there was a lot more to this than just yours and Wonwoo's phydical existence together 

“Soonyoung, you know how I feel about him," you started slowly.

“Why do you wait around for him? Let him step all over your heart like that? It hurts me too, you know. Makes me so fucking angry.”

"That's none of your business, Soonyoung."

"But it is, isn't? He's thr reason why we started this," his finger waving between the two of you, "in the first place. You wanted to 'get over him.' So why aren't you?"

You diverted your gaze from him, opting to look out the window instead, seas of cars pooling in front of you. Soonyoung had parked at the far end of the parking lot, only the needle of the space tower visible from here.

Soonyoung sucked in a sharp breath, his voice growing quier. “Have you ever considered being with someone other than Wonwoo? “Do you think anyone can change it?” Soonyoung pressed on. “Make you so fucking in love with them, you’ll forget him?”

"W-why do you ask?" you muttered.

"I need to know."

Your heart sank, dreading the very words you hoped would never fall from his lips. 

"I'm in love-"

You whipped around and placed a hand over his lips to stop him from confessing further. You were hyperventilating, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Kwon Soonyoung, we agreed no feelings,” you tried to remind him. 

Wrapping a hand around your wrist, he tugged your seal from his lips though you weren’t really trying to keep it on. 

Soonyoung chortled bitterly. “I broke that rule a long time ago, baby.” 

Plugging in his key, he twisted it, the engine roaring. Either hands gripping the wheel, he dipped his head into his chest, “Let’s stop here, Y/N – before we hurt each other even more.”

. . . .

It felt like the memory was burned behind his eyelids, sadistically forcing Wonwoo to watch it over and over again.

Soonyoung's body wrapped around yours. The way he gingerly took your hand and led you away. The look of guilt across your face when you looked back at Wonwoo as the two of you rounded the corner.

He took off his glasses, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes trying to rub off the images. Yet, they kept replaying. He didn't want to believe it, but Hyejin was right.

Soonyoung was fucking you behind his back.

The click of the door of your shared apartment caught Wonwoo’s attention. He threw a look over his shoulder, relieved, but fury already boiling, to find you leaning against the door your hands still tight on the handle.

"Where were you?" Wonwoo asked, his voice stern and hard. It was a tone you've never heard him use before. 

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

The legs of his metal chair scraped across the wooden floor as he stood up. Afraid to look at him, you trained your eyes on the "Welcome" mat, the smiley face next to it seeming as if it was mocking you. His footsteps fell heavily and agonizingly slow in your direction, though each thump matching the beat of your pounding heart. His sock-covered feet stopped a few feet in front of you, the hem of his gray sweatpants swaying at his ankles. 

"Were you with him?" Wonwoo asked, his voice strained compared to before. If you didn't know him better, you wouldn't have guessed he was upset. But from the slight shake and the bob of his Adam's apple, you knew better that he was holding himself together the best he could until he exploded.

"Soonyoung," Wonwoo spat out, the taste of the man's name on his tongue bitter. "Were you with him?"

Your prolonged silence was enough to tell him the truth, but Wonwoo wanted to hear it. Until it came from your mouth, he refused to believe otherwise.

"Y/L/N Y/N!" 

You squeezed your eyes shut, trembling at his raised voices. You had to fears about Wonwoo hitting you - even if he was upset, he never would. Seldom did he get angry, and when he did, he was intimidating and you didn't know how to handle itm

"Fucking hell-"

Your peered up at him cautiously. "And if I was?"

Frustrated, Wonwoo ran a hand over his face. "He's just using you, Y/N, he doesn't love you."

His words pierced through your heart, twisting inside of you, knowing well he was wrong. But did you feel the same?

"It's not like I'm looking for love from him, Wonwoo," you opted to reply instead.

"Then why are you doing this? You know better than anyone how much I don't like him and why."

You scoffed at his selfishness. Soonyoung was right about one thing: He was so oblivious to it all. "When did my sex life involve you?"

"Y/N that's not the point."

"I don't need your permission to fuck anyone."

"Stop being stubborn!"

Shaking your head, you pushed yourself off the door and tried to walk around him with no avail.

"We're not done," Wonwoo said sternly. 

You pressed your lips in a tight line, side glancing at him, irritated. Roughly, you jerked your shoulder forward to shove him off, taking two steps back.

"How long?" Wonwoo deadpanned.

"February - Valentine’s Day," you replied, equally monotonous.

Wonwoo clenched his jaw. "Why?"

The silence that ensued was suffocating. Crossing your arms over your chest, shifted your weight onto your right hip and stared at him harshly, carefully scanning over his face for any signs of despair. He wouldn't be asking you all these questions if he didn't have some sort of inkling of feeling towards you, right?

Yet, you were only met with his stoic glare, piercing through his spectacles. Anger graced his face.

All this time, did he really not know how much you piped over him?

Did he really not know how much you loved him?

How long were you willing to wait for him?

It was now your turn to be upset. Anger clouding your judgment, you blurted the truth.

"You - it was because of you."

Wonwoo’s expression softened, his brows knitting in confusion. "W-what -"

You laughed bitterly. "Soonyoung was right," shaking your head, you continued, "Did you not see at all? Or did you just never consider the fact that I could be in love with you?"

Your words rang through his ear.

"Y-you had feelings for me," he said flatly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. The gesture suddenly wasn't so cute anymore.

"More than you'd ever know," you said softly. 

He nodded, slowly trying to process this information. It was as if a semi-truck rammed into his lanky body and he was stuck, unable to move. 

"I would've waited forever for you, Wonwoo," you pressed on when he didn't reply. "But now?" You shook your head. "You never loved me anyways."

That snapped a cord in him.

"Don't you dare say I never loved you," Wonwoo spat, taking another few steps towards you.

"It’s not the same, Wonwoo," you choked, your voice starting to waver.  You shook your head, wiping your eyes with the heels of your palm, "I've watched you for so long, girl after girl, wondering when you would finally wake up and see me too. Waiting for my turn. I figured if I waited long enough, perhaps I could be the last . . . Yours forever."

Yours forever. 

His forever.

Wonwoo's forever. 

He let the words sink, turning them over in his mind like a sandstone in his hand. For Wonwoo, it was a given that you’d be by his side forever. No one understood him better than you – you were his best friend. You knew what he needed when he was sorrowful. Rather than overwhelming him with happiness, you knew to keep your distance, reminding him of your constant support with small touches and gentle smiles from across the room. When he was angry, you knew to take him to karaoke so he could scream Yoon Do Hyun’s “It Must Have Been Love” to his heart's content. 

The possibility of being more never vividly occurred to him until now. Was it perhaps the reason why his past relationships never worked out? Why did he never feel satisfied with anyone else?

Could it really be because he was searching for you in someone else, when you were right beside him all along?

Wonwoo walked towards you slowly. Two steps forward for him was two steps back for you until your back met the door. Gingerly, he took your elbows and tugged you towards him, his other hand coming up to rest on your waist. Licking his lips, Wonwoo nervously raised his hand to caress your face, his thumb teasing at your chin like he did last night. He tilted your head up, forcing you to look at him, your eyes swollen and rimmed with tears that dripped down your cheek like diamonds rolling down the table. With the pads of his thumb, he wiped away a tear forming from the duct of your eyes. Remorse bubbling in his chest knowing he was the cause of all this pain. 

He tilted forward, gently resting his forehead against yours as he continued to stroke your smooth skin.

 "Did it not ever occur to you,” Wonwoo asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “that you could’ve asked me instead of Soonyoung?”

His question shattered the silence and tension like a rock to a glass window.

seungkwan wearing earrings is something that can be so personal