Dear Allies,

Dear Allies, 

Thank you for helping others. Thank you for supporting the people with less than you. Thank you for supporting gays as a straight person. Thank you for fighting racism as a white person. Thank you for being a feminist when you’re a dude. Thank you for caring about deprived communities when there’s no one else to help. Thank you for caring, and acting on that compassion, when you could easily turn your back. Thank you for helping when you know the risks the haters pose. Thank you for knowing you have to do something when no one is telling you there’s a fight you must join. Thank you for reading and listening and helping our fight for a better world.

Don’t listen to people who tell you that you don’t have a place, that you’re ignorant or appropriating. You are learning and you are trying and that goes farther than you think. You are helping those who have been shut down because their own efforts sometimes aren’t enough. You are aware of where you’ve been placed in society, and you are aware of the position of others - not everyone has all the rights you may have.  You are everywhere, and it’s your job to use your voices for good. Make our world a safe space. Thank you for loving - it does not go unnoticed.

Small Steps #2: Hygiene Edition

Turn off the water while brushing your teeth.

Use a washcloth for washing your face, rather than running the faucet.

In the shower, turn the water off while you wash yourself. Lather, then rinse at the end - more water saved in a shorter amount of bath time.

Rinse, lather, rinse, and you’re done. Little habits aren’t so hard to break, or make; just keep these details in your head, and you’ll remember more and more often when the time comes. That bit of extra effort will be good for your water bill and the environment. The effect of your actions isn’t as small as you think, so let’s make sure it’s a good one.

Happy Monday - I hope you’re enjoying your day off. This weekend, I was with my mom and brother up in Wells, Vermont, staying in our modest family cabin for a few nights. On Saturday night, the nearby Larson Farm hosted their annual Columbus Day weekend party, with friends and townspeople coming in for a potluck, dance, and auction. My family and I have been going up for years. 

After everyone had grabbed some dinner and apple pie, the patriarch of the farm, Rich Larson, stood up on a wagon and explained to us the premises of the auction. He’s told the same story every year as long as I can remember: Over a decade ago, a young man from Uganda had come to live with him and his family. One night at dinner, Rich was asking him about his home, and the Ugandan education system came up.Their guest explained that school in Uganda is free - however, a family would need to purchase a school uniform and basic supplies to actually be able to enroll their child. For primary school students to get the necessary goods, that’s 35 US dollars; for a secondary school student, that’s around $60; for university, it’s $100. With those steep expenses, most families were unable to send their child to school. (Those prices have gone up in the past decade. These are relevant to the story, though with my addled memory I might be getting them wrong too. Go do some additional research if you’re interested.) 

  Rich and his family wanted to do something about that. So they joined the Uganda School Project, and every year since they’ve had an auction to send the money to families and students in Uganda. Paintings, farm antiques, plants, hats - it’s all on the table, and Rich’s son does that entertaining auctioneer voice. I stood with my mom in the crowd, still not allowed to bid, but watching with excitement.  At one point, Rich’s daughter and someone else got into a bidding war over two floral watercolors - the price went up to $250 dollars before the friend at the back of the crowd won. That night, over $3,000 were raised - all to go directly to the fund. 

  Rich told us in the barn that “The way we’re going to reach world peace is if everyone in the community is self-reliant and self-sustainable, and the best way to get to that point is to provide everyone with a good education.” Everyone cheered, and that was definitely a source of motivation that evening. Even better, one of the items actioned off was actually made by a university student from Uganda - after graduating, the young man had started his own business weaving prayer rugs, and making sandals out of old tires. The best part? His $100 tuition was payed by the money raised at the auction a few years back. Rich climbed up on the wagon next to his son to tell us that we were responsible for that young man’s success. 

  When people near and far get together to help others and better their communities, what is achieved benefits everyone. Rich Larson was absolutely correct in his message about world peace - education is the single most powerful weapon that can be used to better the world. And for those of us already blessed with that tool, it’s our job to give that same gift to others - just what the Larsons and their guests have been doing for over a decade. If a single farm in a tiny Vermont town can put dozens of kids in school each year, what impact can this blog have? Or you, for that matter?

It’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day, everyone! Today we honor the legacy of one of the most inspiring and dedicated leaders of the Civil Rights Movement. 

Before the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964, racial segregation was a part of daily American life. MLK Jr. saw the injustice in this, and wanted to fight against it. A preacher and an activist, as well as a loving husband and father, he dedicated his career to improving the lives of African-Americans. Sit-ins were jeered and people were arrested, but Mr. King continued his work. He encouraged many Americans, black and white, to fight for racial equality. In the end, they succeeded.  Today we honor this man’s life, and the effect his message has had on America. The right’s and opportunities of this great country should never be denied to anyone - Martin Luther King Jr. helped teach us that. 

In the past few weeks, turning on the news every day is another sensation of “Yep. Been there, done that. What else is new?” 

I’m talking about sexual assault. All the recent publicity and endless accusations from women - what do you think we’ve been putting up with since the beginning of time? I’m grateful for the actual acknowledgement - it’s about time women were heard, and our society started working toward a safer future. But I can’t help feeling bitter that it’s taken this long. No matter where she was, what she did, or what she looked like, every woman from every time period has had to fear the kind of behavior. Maybe there was less risk than in other places, but across centuries and miles and nations, it has been a collective fear. It isn’t our fault, our actions, our clothes, it’s because we live in a society where women have less of a worth. In a society that has made us have less of a worth.  

I often wonder what actually goes through the mind of the man assaulting or raping a woman. We say we don’t want it, we tell you no, but still you keep coming. It’s frightening. It’s disturbing. The behavior being broadcasted recently makes us feel unsafe and confused. Why would you do something to someone, when your actions are clearly having a negative impact on the person? Why is it so difficult to grasp the basic human indecency it takes to not heed other’s reactions, and therefore the severity of this problem? You wouldn’t hit a little kid when he clearly didn’t welcome the action. But you would do something much more intimate with a woman? 

And that’s just the thing: “with a woman.” Sexual assault and rape everywhere should be a no-no. It shouldn’t just be about women and our rights - but it is, and that makes the battle that much harder, hence my statement from earlier. Women and girls everywhere are told to change their behavior - their own, not that of their attacker! - to avoid being violated in such a way. We are taught that it is our fault - not that of a world where the wrong lessons are taught to children. Such societal messages are exactly why there are ignorant, arrogant men in power, and why they make the mistakes women are blamed for. A cycle that must be broken.   

We can blame men all we want - and some definitely deserve it. But what the most recent accusations show, the “newest” revelation is that our society is to blame. Women have less of a say, but men are also held to such low expectations. We must work together - men and women, assaulted and accused - to raise the next generation so that they’ll make the world safer and more equal for all. Let’s teach them to do better than we have.

Every man on the radio these days is telling his crush how beautiful she is. He’s crooning “How can you not see how beautiful you are? You capture my attention every time you step in a room, and I would do anything if I could tell you so each day.” His crush, a girl with immense physical attraction, does not know how many are captivated by her, and he takes it upon himself to gush to her about her own gorgeousness. A good sentiment, kind hearted, for how many girls out there are self-conscious about their body, hair, features? Isn’t it every girl’s dream to be noticed by a guy who looks at her as though she is his everything?   

    But what if this girl, being serenaded by every male pop star out there, was aware that she was beautiful? What if you complimented her, and she responded with “Thanks! I thought this dress looked nice too.” Would the man she’s wooed be attracted to her self-assured stride, the way she holds her chin high - or would she seem too arrogant for his ego? Would she be more appealing for her confidence, her knowledge that she is exactly where she’s meant to be, or would he loose interest because the need to shower her with appreciation is gone?   

    These are questions in our society that must be asked. Are men more attracted to weak, unsure women, or determined ones who know the only person they need are themselves? Why? Why does a woman have to conform to men’s standards of how much self-love you can have? The only person a woman needs to keep her happy and strong is herself. She does not need to have you gush through the false speakers of the radio to tell her she is beautiful. She’s not arrogant for knowing she deserves the world, she is not a “bitch” for condescendingly thanking the whistlers on the corner, she is not stuck-up for taking compliments and knowing they have a reason to be said.   

    But a girl at peace with herself is deemed unattractive by a man who wants to be emotionally dominant in a relationship. Because a girl is not supposed to know her own self worth.