Im So Fucking Mad Right Now. I Found The Perfect Fanfiction. It Was A Slowburn, 190k Words, 25 Chapters,

I’m so fucking mad right now. I found the perfect fanfiction. It was a slowburn, 190k words, 25 chapters, beautiful AU, and sounded so enticing. It was Dinluke btw.

I open it up, and the relationship is so fucking toxic and felt predatory. Author has the potential to make a beautiful fanfiction, but they just had to write what they wrote.

Here is my wallop of ridiculous tropes with a twist once again.

A holiday ReyRose Modern!AU with DinLuke!Dads

We all love a good "No where else to go for Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas Life Day? Come spend it with my family!!"

Rey does this with Rose.

Only Rey was raised by the most chaotic ragtag collection of war veterans, politicians, bounty hunters, smugglers, crime bosses, and-

Well, yall get it.

The Skywalker-Djarin-Organa-Solo household is always at its prime during the holidays. Han watches the big podrace game with Boba. It doesn't matter how old they get it always ends with one of them in a headlock. Fennec places bets with Chewie on who it'll be every year.

Leia takes refuge in the kitchen where Din does most of the cooking with Paz and where Bo-Katan has the best wine.

Lando keeps an endless game of Sabaac going where Poe doesn't know how he's fifty credits down. Finn knows exactly how Poe's fifty credits down but was sworn to secrecy by Lando three years ago.

I also think that this could be a great opportunity for cantankerous Luke Skywalker. Who has been overly dedicated to his own research despite the fact it annoys him. (the sacred jedi tExtS)

This of course is all normal to Rey. It's a perfectly average for her father to be down in his robe and slippers complaining about people who have been dead for decades and centuries and his lost glasses. ("Historians, you know? They're on your head, dad!")

And Luke really isn't even the most concerning of them, considering several of Rey's uncles all have matching tattoos. (Rose, joking: "so which one of them was in the mafia?" Finn, not: "yes." Poe, later: "oh those guys are fine its Leia you really have to be worried about.")

But it's busy enough that none of the parents truly realizes they have extra company this year. (Luke is used to Din brining home strays and vice versa.)

But it's big brother Grogu who notices its Rey who's brought home a girl. The mischief maker know exactly what this means. He only signs and uses it to his full advantage of the situation, asking Rey things right in front of Rose.

"Have you rented the u-haul yet?" And "does dad know? does Buir?" "do I get to be the best man?" "you better not invite Ben to the wedding, I'll fight him again you know I will." (Previous holiday incident)

(Ben Solo is currently abroad, enjoying what he considers a normal holiday at his boyfriend's coworker, Armitage's, house.)

This tips off Rose when Rey goes beet red everything Grogu signs something. Rose thinks it's cute and accidentally says as much. Lots of awkward and shy moments.

Eventually, it's Din that notices, when Rose gets a little overwhelmed. They have a bonding moment. ("I was exactly where you were once, don't worry. They're not so bad after you get used to them.")

(Han, listening in, snorts "as if she's got a choice. Once a Skywalker sets their sights on you it's game over. Best to get used to it now, kid.")

Rose actually finds that charming.

It's not until they're saying goodbye and Rey scores they keys to the Falcon (much to Poe's dismay) to drive Rose home when it all comes out.

Grogu casually signs 'Better take your girlfriend somewhere nice since you made her first date a family dinner.'

("Girlfriend?" Luke blurts the same time Din says "You're dating?" )

Rey absolutely does the quickest kthxbye, face the color of tomato. Din and Luke deal with going over each step of the night to see if they embarrassed their daughter or not. (or exposed any of the long standing family drama)

Rose grins the whole way home and even sneaks a kiss on her cheek before getting out of the car. Lots of fluff. Rose does send a text the next morning "So are you in the mafia?" "no. just my dad's secret society."

Rose can't actually tell if she's joking. Rey isn't.

It all works out in the end.

She’s his daughter idc who you ask

I need you to read A Healing Touch by @stupidfatpenguin for the context of this joke.

hey tumblr, i’m not a bot. Let me look at some fucking tags