I Know I Screamed Via Inbox, But You Don't Understand How Excited I Am For This.

i know i screamed via inbox, but you don't understand how excited i am for this. 🤌

Fic Preview: Gemini

Pairing: Felix x Fem Reader, Yongbok x Fem Reader

Summary: Twins. A pair. Felix and Yongbok are your closest friends. You have known them your whole life. For the first time things get messy between you three.

Warnings: Just slight angst. Some minimal cursing. Nothing crazy.

Preview Word Count: 2,400 and some change

Author’s Note: I wanted to drop a little taste of this fic I’ve been working on. It will be in three installments. Release dates to be determined. Also thank you to @svintsandghosts for the edit. You made this so long ago for me and I’m so honored you took the time to do that. Tumblr eats the video quality so I’m sorry! 😭

Tag list: @lee--felix, @nymeriaaa, @hyuckilstan, @9900z, @jess-1404, @weusteezmakes1team, @formysakeamaryllis, @skzflix-au, @downforseochangbin, @lotus-dly, @cb97percent, @joonghands, @svintsandghosts, @jeyelleohe, @sstarryoong (Message me if you would like to be added/removed. You will be notified when I post.)

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Twins. Identical twins. Yongbok and Felix Lee. The two boys you met the same day you moved into your new house. All three of you were barely 5 years old. Inseparable is what your parents always said. The three musketeers who always found a reason to spend time together. Your parents never have to look far for you. If you weren’t home, you were with them at theirs. Even through high school.

People always struggled to tell them apart, and it confused you. The two couldn’t be more different. Sure, both share the beautiful honey brown eyes, heart-shaped lips, and freckles decorating their cheeks like stars, but that’s where the similarities ended. The two were actual walking stereotypes that belonged in a cliche movie. It’s funny, thinking back on it.

It’s as if one body holds everything pure. Felix was soft, a sweet boy that felt everything on a different emotional level. He loves with his whole heart. Makes you think of a warm sunrise, fresh baked goods, and puppies. He’s a kind soul, always willing to help a stranger. Hell, he’s even reliable, too. 

While Yongbok was the polar opposite. Early in his teens, he stopped wanting to be associated with his perfect brother. He grew a darker demeanor. He was full of attitude. Would become easily agitated. The trouble started small. Poor grades, skipping class, and sneaking out. A lot of bad impulsive decisions, like talking back to whoever disagreed, eventually escalating into fights. You figured he would outgrow this phase. He was just a moody teenager, after all. Here you are, still waiting. 

Yongbok is getting his life together now that the harsh reality of survival hit him. When he dropped out of school, you pushed him to go back. It took an alternate route, but he got a diploma. Unfortunately, the fights paired with the growing distance between himself and his parents resulted in him being kicked out of the house. He would occasionally spend the night with you when he was able, yet wasn’t a permanent solution thanks to the warning to your parents from his own. As a result, you would go a couple days without a word from him, only hearing about him couch surfing from friend house to house when he had Wi-Fi to shoot you a message. 

Jobs came and went till Yongbok decided what he wanted to do. He got a studio apartment and successfully kept it for nearly a year now. His luck appeared to flourish in his favor when landing an apprenticeship at a local tattoo shop. For the first time in a long time, his dedication is paying off. Last you heard, he was close to getting a permanent station thanks to his commitment to the skill he is mastering. As long as he can keep up the hard work paired with clientele through the door, he would be stable. You lost less sleep with this news. 

Felix and yourself graduated last summer, taking the year to save money. The program you applied to had a wait list a mile long due to how many applications there were. Thankfully, your acceptance letter came right after Felix got his. It was a dream come true for both of you. In the next couple of months, you will start. A new city with fresh adventures left you excited. There was some fear of the unknown, yet you knew you would be fine with Felix at your side. You just needed to let Yongbok in on the news. A problem for you in the future. 

Right now, your focus was on the cash registers in front of you. The store you worked at was closed for the day. All you had left was some minor cleaning and getting the tills from the registers to the cash office for your shift manager to insert into the safe. 

Felix was here as well, nearly done with his zoning of the merchandise. You had scored him the job after preaching to your boss how good of a worker he would be. Sure enough, after being hired on, Felix impressed your boss on his own. Then, thanks to how well the pair of you worked to close the store, you were lucky enough to have several shifts with him. 

“I stopped at the game shop yesterday and I found a new game. Well, they recommended it to me. I’m really excited to show you.” Felix had a skip in his step when he walked across the sales floor. A giant smile is on his face while talking to you. To him, you single-handed are the only people in the world at this moment. Truly adorable the more you watch. Felix dips into the supply closet, retrieving a vacuum to clear the front rugs of debris. When he returns, he’s still going off about the game. “Mom wasn’t impressed with the name. I don’t blame her. Exploding kittens sounds awful, I know, but it’s fun.”

“I’m sure I’ll like it. Try not to kick my ass right off the bat, okay?” You say while moving to collect the second till from the other register. 

A distraught noise coming from Felix causes you to glance over at him. He drops the vacuum where he stands as he peers out to the parking lot. The second Felix notices the look of concern on your face, he shuffles to collect himself. His reaction causes some concern. Your brows knit in confusion when prodding for an answer. “What is it, Lix?”

From where you stand, you can’t see what he sees. You can’t miss the way his hand trembles when he reaches for the cord to unwind the length he needs to reach the outlet on the wall. “My brother is here.”

You let out a huff of annoyance. “We’re closed.”

All the happiness Felix had for the end of his shift and the start of the weekend is gone. Almost like a snuffed candle. “They’re not trying to come in. Just waiting.” 

Ah, that explains the fear. Yongbok didn’t come alone. His friends pick on Felix. The group knows he’s soft. Easy to break down with a few words. Makes your blood boil. It’s such childish behavior. Not a word said yet and Felix already is hyper focused on the rug in front of him. He will go over it a good four times before quitting knowing him. Anything to drag the time out. 

There is a good chance Yongbok isn’t even here for Felix. No, you know he’s not, he never is. Part of you hopes one of these days Yongbok would try to fix his relationship with his brother. Unfortunately, the two drift further apart since his only interest appears to be you. 

With both tills in hand, you head to the back. Felix joins the small office a few moments later to check in. Your shift manager gives both of you the clear to leave for the day. Neither of you protest, stepping out of the office ready to leave. Felix is still hesitant at the time clock, already glued to your side. You always are a shield for him to hide behind. Not that you mind. You want to protect Felix from as much as you can. At some point, he will have to fight his own battles. You can’t be by his side every time he needs it. Until then, you will do your best to take the brunt of the attacks. 

You give a glance over your shoulder once stepping away from the time clock. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.” 

There is a tug on your heartstrings at how uneasy Felix sounds. You sigh before turning to face him fully, cupping Felix’s cheeks to force him to look right in your eyes. The pep talk you give won’t reassure him. Still, there is a small smile on your face when trying. “Don’t let them get to you. It’s all to get a reaction out of you. That’s why they do it to me.”

“Well, they’re not mean to you. They like you.” Felix says meekly while pulling away to clock out. You can’t stop the eye roll in response. He couldn’t be more wrong. The group out there doesn’t like you. The so-called respect you receive is more for Yongbok. It’s gross that Yongbok has some kind of claim on you and suddenly you are part of their group, regardless of choice. 

“That’s because they’re trying to sleep with me.” You say, leading the way out of the building. Your eyes are searching the windows trying to find Yongbok. He is indeed here. You can see the long dark hair half pulled up into a ponytail and the trademark leather jacket he always wears. “Just get in the car and I’ll be there in a second.”

Felix doesn’t waste another second once out the door. He rushes straight for your car like running a marathon. Thankfully, you are quick enough to mash the button to unlock it before he can tug the handle clean off. You could bet your next paycheck even if Felix is safe inside the car, he still locks the passenger side door. 

All you have to do is make it the group yourself. You can feel every set of eyes on you as you step out into the parking lot. Yongbok never called out for Felix, only confirming your earlier suspicions. 

Of course, someone can’t keep their mouth shut as you cut between two of the vehicles. “Let us know when you’re done babysitting. I’ll show you what a good time actually is.”

You scoff at the group of men when you look back. “Oh fuck off, Minho. I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last man on earth.”

Minho fakes being hurt, as if you shot him in the chest. He’s always been dramatic. A few in the group laugh at his behavior and is enough to have you fuming. Everything is a goddamn joke to them. You don’t even try to hide your disgust. You will never know why Yongbok chooses these assholes for friends. Now is a good time to leave before you pick a fight with anyone tonight. Forget whatever he wants to talk about. It’s not worth the energy you don’t have today. 

Yongbok slides off the hood of his car when you take a step towards your own. He’s quick to close the distance, grip gentle when reaching for your wrist to stop you from leaving. “Hey, wait. I haven’t even gotten a chance to talk.”

You half turn to face him. “What do you want, Bokkie? I’m tired.”

“Come with me tonight. There is a show at Purgatory.”

The mentioned bar is heavy with rock music and horror themed drinks. Not that you mind that part. The bar itself is nice. Yongbok spends a majority of his free time there drinking the night away if he’s not working. If you join, you typically play a few rounds of pool or listen to the occasional local band performing on the small stage. 

You groan, in no mood to tag along. “Ugh, you know I don’t like that place. I have plans anyway.”

“Oh yeah,” Yongbok rolls his eyes, tone snarky. “Because mom’s weekly casserole night is life changing.”

“Goodnight Bokkie. Maybe next time.” You pull your wrist out of his hold. The second you move to walk away, he immediately blocks your path. It’s hard to hide your glare when trying to act indifferent. His voice is softer so only you can hear him. “Come on, please? Don’t blow me off in front of the guys.”

You sigh, contemplating. It’s been a minute since you have spent time with Yongbok. At the same time, Felix looks forward to the nights you come over for dinner and games. It’s his favorite part of the week. You only missed one night in the last six months from being sick in bed with the flu. It would hurt to blow him off. You give a quick glance over at your car, seeing a fidgeting Felix looking straight at you. He’s silently pleading with you to get into the car. You try your best to stay strong and say no. 

“I have to take him home. I’m his ride.”

Yongbok persists. “He can call mom. You said last time if I asked you, you would say yes. A promise is a promise, right?”

“I also asked you to give me time to clear my schedule.” You reply annoyed. A playful pout appears on his face, only making matters worse. You promised him a night out a while back, and keeping your word is important to you always has been. Plus, if you go, you can monitor him. Make sure he gets home safe. The last thing you need is him driving drunk. A huff leaves you, causing Yongbok to smile when you talk. “I’m still in my uniform. Let me go home and change.”

“Yes! I’ll pick you up in an hour. I’ll even buy you food.” He seems pleased with himself. It makes you feel guilty already because you know he’s going to gloat. If not to his friends, then to Felix. A giant grin is plastered on his face as he offers his brother a playful way while on his way back to his car. 

Your heart rate spikes the short distance to your car. Felix’s eyes are burning into you when you get in. He wants an explanation of what happened. Even without communicating it with you, you know that’s what the look is for. The pair of you have been friends long enough. 

The keys in your hand are awfully interesting, keeping your attention for longer than it should. Say something. Anything. The sudden dry throat makes it hard to push your words out. “I’m taking you home.”

“You’re not…?” Felix sounds upset when his words trail off. Out of the corner of your eye you can see him sink into himself. His lips turned down in a scowl. His voice sounds broken almost. “You always come to game night.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I promised him I would hang out.”

“That’s not fair. We made plans first!” The sudden outburst from Felix surprises you. Understandably, he’s upset, but more than you expected. 

“Hey, you get me every Friday night. Let him have me tonight.” Felix doesn’t respond, turning away to stare out the window. You sigh while reaching over to run your fingers through his short, blonde hair. Even if he’s sulking, Felix melts into the touch. Your voice shifts, trying to be reassuring. “I’m still spending the weekend with you. A few hours apart and then I’m all yours.”

“Just drive.” Felix says bitterly while curling further into himself away from you. 

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Yongbok Preview [coming soon]

Felix Preview [coming soon]

Gemini [coming soon]

The Guy Next Door | hhj

❝𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞?❞

↳ Interim chapter 2/2 of The Guy Next Door: should be read after chapter 6. Interims are optional therefore not crucial to the main storyline but do provide extra context and background on side characters, their arcs and sub-plots.

↳ Changbin x transfem Felix focused, other characters included/referenced 

↳ 10.7k

! Strong language, sports science major/rich boy Changbin, porn star Felix, transfem Felix uses she/her pronouns and has female anatomy, pansexual Changbin, angst and tension, background/history on Changbin, frank discussion on transitioning and surrounding issues therein, frequent reference to pornography (trans porn specifically and issues therein), pining, alcohol consumption, explicit sexual content, making out, oral sex (m. rec), face fucking, cum swallowing, hugely under-negotiated kink, Felix does a really dumb thing, d/s dynamics, subspace and whiting out, unintentional aftercare neglect, this chapter is a lesson in the importance of communication do not try this at home, adult themes throughout !

「suitable for 18+ readers only」  「Chapter 1」  「Contents List」  「© February 2023 by jl-micasea-fics」

Changbin sometimes wonders where he’d be if he wasn’t in Saint Brides.

Abroad somewhere, perhaps, relaxing on a sunburnt beach as warm waves lick his toes. Maybe exploring Europe, backpacking through cultural capitals. Maybe touring Asia, island hopping or mountain climbing or otherwise participating in any extreme sport that would have his adrenaline pumping.

But that’s all about he can do; he can wonder, he can dream, he can pretend that his future is as unknown as everyone else’s. He can try to forget that he’s not beholden to certain expectations laid on him from the minute he was born, but really, he never will.

Make no mistake; Changbin is grateful for the things he has. His life is good, comfortable, he wants for nothing and as a result finds himself with never a dull moment to waste. Contrary to what might constitute a cliché for rich families, Changbin knows his father to be a good man. A man with principles, self-made and honest. A man that wants only the best for his brood and that worked himself to the bone in the business of merging and acquisition to ensure said best.

Changbin finds pride in being the eldest son of a man like that, and knows how lucky he is that he can make such a claim; certainly when he compares his home life to that of his dearest friends, the gratitude for his circumstances is abundantly clear. His childhood was the ideal of storybooks, his adolescence supported and nurtured, his growing into the person he is now a gentle process by the guiding hands of his parents.

And so, he supposes that ultimately, his future is a small price to pay for it all. It’s expected of him to succeed his father in taking over the family business, to run it with the same level of respect and care that the man himself did. He’s never abjectly hated the idea of stepping into those shoes, but neither has he found himself giddy at the prospect.

It is simply a stated fact, a truth that he knows to be. It hardly matters that his true passion lies with sports and physical fitness. Indeed, it hardly matters that he’s studying towards it now, because even with degree in hand and all the motivation in the world, he’ll be unable to make proper use of it.

His parents tell him frequently that that he’s free to do what he wants, how he wants, when he wants it, until such a time as he’s required to take up the Seo mantle. Thus, he decided to go to university, to do what everyone else his age was doing in the hopes it might make him feel a little more like them.

Changbin still believes his falling into step the tripod to be an unthinkable stroke of luck, their friendship feeling so very eternal to him now. It was through no more than being approached by a grinning blonde kid after the first induction tutorial of the year that rendered him subsequently unable to shake him. Many months after the event, Changbin asked him what it was inspired him to approach in the first place, to which Jisung informed that it was because Changbin was the only one to not laugh at the snide joke the professor cracked on the blonde’s late arrival to the lecture. A little baffled by the answer but accepting all the same (Changbin didn’t laugh because he simply didn’t find singling out funny), it was no effort to quickly warm to the eccentric rainbow coloured catastrophe that was Han Jisung.

It was no surprise when, a few weeks after that, Jisung pulled much the same stunt with the lonely girl in the library; a veritable deer in the headlights if Changbin had ever seen one. Less prepared to slot herself into the dynamic they already had, her icy persona took a little longer to thaw, yet even the most solidified of temperaments will eventually melt under Jisung’s scorching persistence.

Changbin worries about her. It’s natural that he should, of course, and he doesn’t let himself feel bad for wanting to text her every hour on the hour if only to ensure she’s functioning enough to string together a response.

While he never could have known the whole extent of the abuse she suffered, Changbin saw signs of something that didn’t sit rightly with him. She carried herself like her very existence was a nuisance, lingering always several paces behind until Jisung would drag her along in equal step. She would never speak unless spoken to, never add anything of value to conversations unless thoroughly relaxed enough to do so. She would flinch when her phone went off, check the time every five minutes, make increasingly elaborate excuses after class to avoid hanging out, and eventually Changbin supposed that enough was enough.

Enlightening Jisung as to his suspicions on her home life wasn’t so much an enlightenment as it was confirmation for both that their mutual concerns couldn’t be unfounded; not if they both shared them.

Even with desire to outright approach her with it, Changbin was perpetually aware of overstepping. The friendship was still relatively new, the ties fragile with potential to snap under distrust. And so, he had little choice but to believe that she was a grown woman in her own right; if she was in such dire a position as to require serious help, she would surely seek it out. Changbin had to trust that she would.

She needed friends, he realised. Not a force of authority or nature to dig to the root of her mental scars and peel them clean from her person, for doing such a thing would only open bloody wounds and negate whatever healing she had so far achieved. No. She needed a network of support to fall back on, people her own age that wouldn’t brand her a pariah or sympathise to piteous degrees, but rather that would simply treat her as though she was one of them.

It was Jisung that affectionately knighted them ‘the tripod’, three legs of the same unified being, the bonds of which were stronger than any iron-clad friendship; if one metaphorical leg were kicked out by poor circumstance or unwanted angst, all three of them would feel the pain and thusly fall. Changbin hoped she understood that the sentiment applied to everything.

Despite all this and at the behest of his own principles, however, Changbin couldn’t resign himself to total inaction. Whatever he could do to ease her anxious plight, he would, and so he took quiet note of her routines; nine pm weekday curfews, midnights on the weekend. Ensuring she was always returned home accordingly spared her from the exhaustion of fabricating an excuse every time, and while it was never outwardly stated that the pair were deliberately accommodating her circumstances, Changbin felt the appreciation in the small things. The way she became closer, warmer, more at ease the longer she remained in their company, and before Changbin really realised it, he was forced to ask himself questions as to the nature of his feelings.

Did he… love her?

Keep reading

DAECHWITA: Chapter 8

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“You do realize we have the means to fake our deaths, right?”

Chapter 8: Burn It (Till It's All Gone)

📜6.9K words | Approx. 30-min. read 🚨Please see the series masterlist for general warnings: Scheming continues, themes of revenge, negligence, and resentment. 📻Accompanying soundtrack 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!

It had been years.

The boys had reached the peak of their puberty once they started high school. Their extraordinary normal routine continued—civilian cosplay with their shadow parents during the weekdays, mask off in the palace on the weekends. They were growing up. They were growing up so well into such fine young men, and there was still no word from James.

Of course Hyejin would have loved to show him his son’s first steps. The day he said his first word. Maybe he would have even been understanding that Chris had a sibling albeit from someone else, but they were still brothers. They were wreaking havoc together just like he said they would. 

It was a lot of could have beens but it was okay nevertheless. Hyejin had put a deadbolt on her heart and hid it away in some dusty chest. If her other half was alive and well somewhere, maybe their paths would cross again. Maybe one day she could indeed set out to find him like she told him. Maybe he was really waiting for her as he promised. 

Maybe they could be together again in another lifetime.

“I’m afraid young master Christopher has got his heart stolen, your highness.”

Every time Mina visited her chambers to do her usual reporting on her boys, that was the one thing Hyejin had always dreaded to hear. She knew whatever Chris thought was feeling was temporary. Nothing could compare to that very special someone, and no matter how much she wanted to sit him down to talk to him about it, she knew it was going to be in vain. He would maybe listen just to be polite and squeeze a couple of ‘You’re right’s here and there, but she knew all her words were going to evaporate as she was saying them. 

Kids. They only ever said a heartfelt ‘You’re right’ once they experienced that horrible pain firsthand.

“Who is it?”

“A young lady by the name of Elizabeth. They make music together.”

“Does he know that you know?”

“I don’t think so.”

Ah, of course. It made sense why he felt like he had already met the one. Chris could have argued this Elizabeth girl was his first love all he wanted, but Hyejin knew for a fact that it wasn’t. It was music. And bonding solely over a mutual interest did not a soulmate make. If only he knew. If only he knew Minhyuk and Jun’s little girl was his doppelganger from the opposite realm. If only he knew he would combust in admiration if he saw what she was capable of doing with music. If only he knew they were both equally headstrong, bled passion, and in search of the same degree of normal. They spoke the exact same language and were just perfect for each other.

“I also think you should know that the young masters are thinking of leaving the country after graduation, your highness.”

“They– They what?”

Sheer panic. Her boys were going to leave? But there was no reason to leave. They could be happy here. There was no one chasing after them. There was no one threatening to hurt them. How was she going to be able to protect them from afar? How could she just sit there and watch herself be gradually erased from their lives? No. No. Just no.

“Their acceptance letters from Juilliard have arrived this Wednesday,” Mina continued solemnly, “Young master Christopher will be studying composition while young master Hyunjin will be studying dance.”

“You were supposed to tell me this while they were scheming a future, Mina.”

“I wasn’t aware of their plans until the mail arrived, your highness. I wholeheartedly apologize.”

Hyejin got mad at herself for lashing out at Mina like that. The woman did everything she possibly could to be by her side for years—even became a second mother to her sons. It wasn’t her fault that there were some things the boys were able to hide despite all the hidden eyes watching over them because why wouldn’t there be?

Kids. They always found a way to outsmart their parents one way or another. That being said, Hyejin could rely on her boy to make one mistake for he was carrying all the symptoms of being driven by emotion.

“Are they going to attend their senior dance?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“Tell Chris some sob story about the fleeting youth. I don’t care what it is,” she spoke to her aide resolutely, “Make sure he feels compelled to confess to this girl that night. I want Jiyong to watch him from afar and bring them both home.”

“Your highness…”

“Do as I say, Mina,” she firmly ordered, more like a queen rather than a mother.

“I’ll tell her I love her tonight.”

Right when they stepped foot into their school’s gym, these were the words Chris spoke to his brother while his eyes scanned the whole place to find his person of interest. Immediate panic flared in Hyunjin’s guts.

“Don’t do it tonight,” he countered with composure which was the complete opposite of the ruckus that broke out inside him, “Wait just a little longer. We’re almost there.”

“I know how Jiwon is looking at her. I have to do something before he does.”

“Then do it on our fucking graduation!”

“Who knows where she’ll be in a month if she doesn’t know!”

Goddammit, Chris!

Why? Why was he always this headstrong? Didn’t Chris insist on applying to Juilliard just because Liz was going to be in New York, too? They could fucking book same-day tickets and he could confess his love at the goddamn airport while he was at it. Why now?

Why… now?

Why risk ruining Hyunjin’s plans, too?

He made it seem like it didn’t really matter to him where he would go to school as long as he could study dance, but Hyunjin had a secret buried ten feet under his soul. A secret he couldn’t even tell his brother about.

A girl. 

Marilyn. The complete opposite of the icon that popped into everyone’s head. By herself mostly. Most people would say she had ginger hair, but Hyunjin saw fire there.

The first time he saw her was during home economics class. They were randomly paired and she taught him how to glaze a cake. She didn’t talk much—in fact, she spoke to him so rarely that Hyunjin knew every sentence she had uttered by heart. 

“This is nothing compared to what I will learn at the Culinary Institute of New York.”

New York. She was going to go to New York.

During lunch breaks, she would pick up her Moleskine notebook and sit down under the cherry blossom tree, writing and writing god knows what. Maybe stories, maybe diary entries, maybe recipes she was making up in her head. She watched the sky a lot. Every time she noticed the contrails of a passing plane highlighted by the sun like a golden magic marker, it made her smile. Hyunjin had no idea why he was so drawn to her.

He didn’t talk to her either. Whenever he noticed she was walking towards the tree, he would jump from his seat and run after her just to slow down to give the impression that he was casually making his way there. He would go sit under the tree with her and write little poems on his own. Sometimes they would lie down side by side in silence and watch the sky together. They would smile at each other sometimes, but that was it.

Hyunjin was going to say hi to her the second he received his diploma. He was going to invite her somewhere quiet and ask her about what she was writing all this time. Whether her lines mentioned him at all. When she was leaving and whether she wanted to see the Empire State with him. He wanted to gift her a lifetime supply of Moleskine notebooks. He wanted to hold hands with her, have his first kiss with her, and when the time was right, ask her permission to become one with her. Clumsily make love to her, explore his body with her, write poems inspired by her fiery hair for her, recite it for her, and make love to her again. He wanted to surrender to her.

All in due time. When he was finally free.

“Do you have any idea what your foolishness could have cost us?”

If only Chris wasn’t that stubborn. If only he could hold himself back for two more seconds. If only he wasn’t the reason why Hyunjin was filled to the brim with an insufferable grudge for he took away the one thing he wanted for the longest time. To be happy. And be free.

It broke Hyejin’s heart to a million pieces to do that, too, but one day…

Hopefully one day they would understand why she wasn’t ready to let them go.

As much as Minhyuk was excited on your behalf that you were about to take your first steps into young adulthood, he was also aware of the frequent meltdowns you were having over choosing schools. He decided he wouldn’t say anything until you received all the responses for your applications when in fact he knew they were all going to be acceptances. All the more reason for you to flip.

While going through the mail that particular morning, when he saw the letter from The Royal Academy, he heaved an exasperated sigh.

“Hyejin, I swear to fucking god…”

Yes, she wasn’t even trying to be subtle doing everything in her power to make you and Chris cross paths, but this once he didn’t have an excuse to outright refuse. It was your education in question, and more importantly, it was you who made the choice to apply there. But he’d be damned if he didn’t have a little confrontation with her about her matchmaking obsession.

“You are aware we’re not royal descendants, right?”

“Who cares?”

“What do you mean ‘Who cares’?” Minhyuk threw his hands in the air, “Weren’t you the one forbidding your sons from having relations with non-royal folk because of, what was it, their obligation to your ancestors? How are you going to be able to explain yourself?”

“You think I don’t know the only royal people the boys are able to encounter are themselves?”

Jesus fucking christ very much.

You may not have been royalty, but if it ever came to that, nobody could refute how special you were. How strong and determined you were. That trumped being royalty. You were the only exception to the rule she self-imposed to serve her not-so-ulterior motives. 

“You know we offer the best education she could ever receive, Minhyuk,” Hyejin offered a solid argument, “I know you think I’m being delusional and whatnot, but please do not deter her if she wants to make a favorable decision.”

He was thinking. A part of him wanted to intervene, but the sane part of him wanted to let you do whatever you wanted with your life. He knew you weren’t able to experience an average childhood as it was, and he would feel horrible if you resented him for a choice he made for you. He had made enough decisions on your behalf already.

“You know how indebted I am to you and Jun,” Hyejin touched her friend’s arm before leaving, “Please keep this in mind too while you’re judging me.”

I want her to be as graceful as a queen.

Hyejin couldn’t give a damn about how intact one’s manners were—it most certainly didn’t define the worth of a person, but Jun’s last words had been haunting her for years. Minhyuk was so adamant about his principles that if she told him ‘I will be giving etiquette classes to your daughter’ he would remarkably lose his mind thinking it was an attempt to make you more feminine. It had nothing to do with it. Selfish maybe, delusional even, but the voices in her head kept telling her that she would stop waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, that she would stop dreaming about Jun and wilting forget-me-nots when you stepped foot on these grounds. That Jun would stop questioning her every single night.

You promised. You know they belong together. What’s taking so long?

But everything needed a proper disguise. She indeed had to play one teeny tiny mind trick with you to put her grand plan in motion.

When she extended you an offer, Hyejin absolutely despised herself for even pretending she would do anything to harm Minhyuk or his beloved dojo. She just took advantage of the bond you had with your father, fully aware you wouldn’t do anything to put him in danger. Bluffing to that extent was a huge leap of faith maybe, but you took the bait. That was what mattered at the end of the day.

The only way Minhyuk was not going to object to this deal was to make it a mutual agreement. His gigantic pride was always in the way of him asking for or receiving any kind of help—there was absolutely no way he would accept it if Hyejin insisted she wanted to take on the responsibility of your education. Yes, she had other items on her agenda, as well, but your future was genuinely among the top of her priorities to even begin to make it up to your parents for what they had done for her.

Therefore, it wasn’t a complete lie when she posed the condition of you serving The Royal Family in an instructional capacity. She knew about Minhyuk training you for years. She knew this was the perfect opportunity to assign you as an assistant to the Military Arts program that just happened to be Chris’ major.

But more importantly, this put the parties on equal grounds: you were going to receive something by offering something in return, effectively eliminating the concept of ‘charity’ from Minhyuk’s mind. As far as she was concerned, this was a fair trade.

Then came the more tricky part. 

The only reason Hyejin wanted to move you to the guesthouse was to give you privacy so that you wouldn’t feel like you were being watched like she actually was for years. On the other hand, the knowledge of Hyunjin building an entire playground there made her anxious to no end. She couldn’t let it be known to her younger son that she was very much aware of what he was up to, but she was also worried that Hyunjin was not going to let you be. You were a bit too fascinating to stay away from.

Please. He’s going to relentlessly tempt you. Charm you. Make you feel like you’re the only thing that matters to him, but it’s not true. He’s not the one for you. Resist him. Please.

It was nothing more than wishful thinking of course. Somewhere along the way, something she couldn’t quite figure out had happened to her sunshine. He used to be a boy that appreciated the small beauties life had to offer. He used to chase butterflies. He used to have such a delicate soul. Then all of a sudden he had turned into this insatiable demon that was eerily reminiscent of some late tyrant. It wasn’t long before she heard the message on the wind about you and Hyunjin.

What have you done, sunshine? Why are you throwing tantrums this time?

She was indeed disappointed, but this wasn’t your fault. Not one bit. Hyunjin was his father’s son, and that ugly truth was bound to resurface at some point.

On one particularly deep, dark night, Hyejin had enough of the commotion going on inside her head and ran down the dimly lit corridors leading to The Zen Room. Barefoot. With only her nightgown on, her hair flowing past her waist looking like a charcoal stream rushing down her back. She walked into the room, panting, looking at the scripts she decorated the walls with, and thought about Minhyuk. Then she slowly made her way to the interior garden and caressed the jasmines and forget-me-nots she planted there with tears running down her face unbeknownst to her. She thought about Jun. She thought about James. She thought about Chris, about you, and that was when she started to doubt her own sanity.

Had she been clinging onto the ghost of something all this time? Did she read a little too much into it maybe? Was she indeed trying to force fate into something she just wished to see?

She knew her treasure was falling for you. She could swear you felt the same way too, but why didn’t it happen already? Did she miscalculate something in this formula for happiness that didn’t really exist? Did she spectacularly fail to read between the lines?

“One sign,” she whispered to the delicate flowers, “All I need is one sign for better or worse. Then I promise I’ll let it go.”

The sign Hyejin had asked for had appeared in the form of her own son basically confessing his feelings for you, immediately prompting her to think about one last scheme. 

“Is it the young lady from your prom night?” 

“No.” 

“Is it one of your current classmates?” 

“No.”

Say yes. Please say yes to this.

“Is it perhaps our guest that’s currently residing with us?” 

“Mother, please, drop it!!!” 

Anybody in their right mind would try to come up with enabling scenarios, but knowing her own son, Hyejin found inspiration someplace else.

Apples.

One time when Chris was little, he became so sick that he was strictly ordered to consume fluids, yet all he kept yelling about was his beloved bunny apples. Just once. He was getting better already so once wouldn’t hurt. Could he pretty please get just one piece with a cherry on top?

“Doctor’s orders, Chrissy. I’ll bring you your apples when they say you can eat them, okay?”

He couldn’t even last one day. Chris sneaked into the kitchen after his mom fell asleep just so he could sink his teeth into a yellow apple, and alerted the entire floor with the ruckus he caused in the meantime.

“Baby, why are you being so stubborn? You can’t eat them yet!”

Why the goddamn apples? Should she have been worried? Was this an indication of something lacking in his body? Or did he just simply have a sweet tooth?

“But they comfort me,” her boy had told her with his huge guilty eyes.

You and Chris were a little too alike, and she hoped from the bottom of her heart that it also held true when it came to a certain disregard for the rules. Especially if it included taking away something you really really wanted to have.

You are not to see him again after that and you will not divulge this information to him.

Once upon a time, a king wasn’t able to stop her from falling crazily in love with a man. This was just a test to confirm her hypothesis that not even a queen could come between you two, not that she had any intention to.

Anything you can do, I can do better.

Sibling rivalry was such a commonplace thing. You went through it even if you were two kids in line for the throne, or going to school hand in hand pretending to be civilians. It could be due to many reasons—because you wanted to be liked better; because you wanted to establish dominance over the other; because some friendly competition could be a motivation to do more, achieve more. If one kept losing to the other, on the other hand, it could turn into something ugly.

Jealousy. Resentment. Grudge.

Chris and Hyunjin did not really have the said rivalry between them per se. Every time one of them fell, the other was there. Covered up for each other whenever they could because they had each other and they would never leave one another. That was the one thing carved into their minds as they were growing up.

I love you both just the same.

Yeah right.

For some inexplicable reason, deep down Hyunjin knew their mother had a massive soft spot for his older brother. She had a favorite. Chris always got away with things with much fewer consequences than Hyunjin did. If and when he was scolded, it wasn’t as angry. When he was grounded, it was for a shorter period of time. Occasionally, she was more formal with Hyunjin. More distant. Less affectionate. The double standard frequently made him think about whether he was adopted or not. 

He watched himself shut down after they were informed of the sentence they both had to serve because of Chris. Until their adult ceremonies. A couple of years was not that big of a deal, but when you started counting down the days, they indeed felt neverending. It indeed felt like someone was playing an annoying prank on him by erasing some of the crosses he had already put on his calendar. The time just wouldn’t pass. 

Maybe he needed to make the most of it if it wasn't going to pass. Rumor had it that time went by quicker if you were having fun, but the aforementioned fun just could not be induced by simple stuff anymore, could they?

It had to be derived from the most outrageous things possible because fuck a double standard.

Hyunjin had established somewhat of a routine until you came along. When he laid his eyes on you, he initially thought you could have some fun together, but he most certainly did not plan on catching inadvertent feelings towards you. He couldn’t figure out what exactly those feelings were—he just knew it was a couple of shades different than what he experienced when he borrowed a night from a stranger. And it was growing stronger.

I can do anything better than you.

It would have been fine maybe. It would have been fine if it was someone else other than the person who kept reminding him he was always going to be the second best. The second choice. The second rate. His mother was supposed to summon him any day now to discuss what he’d like for his own adult ceremony, and when Hyunjin witnessed how you and Chris fucking devoured each other in your bed that he was never once invited to, he just felt…

Let's just say inspired.

“You know me, mother. I’d like to pay respects to our roots.”

“There is such profound beauty in the classical indeed, isn’t there?”

Why of course. The guillotine was also such a classic, wasn’t it? Everybody knew what it was.

“There’s something else I’d like to talk to you about,” Hyunjin placed his china cup delicately on the saucer and assumed a semi-serious expression, “I need your word that you’re not going to consult to reprimands after what I’m about to divulge to you. It’s about Chris.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Your word. You’re not gonna punish him.” 

Is this… Is this what I think it is?

“Very well. You have my word.”

“Actually, it is more than okay,” he smiled at his mother, “You’re familiar with our resident guest, right?”

“Yes?”

“I have reason to believe she and Chris are really suitable for each other.”

Words were simply not enough to describe the satisfaction that came from this declaration. Hyejin was right. She was right all along. It took a substantial amount of willpower not to crack and smile back at him.

“How so?”

She goddamn knew how so. Chris thought he was being all slick, but Hyejin heard it on the grapevine that you two might have been running off into the night recently.

“Just a gut feeling,” Hyunjin responded calmly.

Because I know they’re fucking each other, mother.

“Are you saying they are involved?”

“You could say that.”

Hyejin couldn’t believe it. Call it fate, a self-fulfilling prophecy, or a simple coincidence, but what she had been claiming for years indeed came true. She had a hunch you two were up to something, but Hyunjin basically confirmed it for her. You and Chris had passed her unnecessarily complex test.

“I’d like her to escort Chris during my adult ceremony.”

Hyejin furrowed her brows in confusion at her son’s very unusual request, “Well, that’s highly irregular. Escort duties are not for the guests.”

“I know, but don’t you think this is a great opportunity to test drive a public debut?”

It indeed would be. It could be a reason to open the gates of the grounds again. It could be the reason happiness could rush through these stone corridors again. She agreed.

“Don’t tell him that, though. I want it to be a surprise,” Hyunjin appealed to his mother one last time before he left, “He’s been through enough, mother. Give him this.”

Now we’re even.

Two birds with one stone: a cold dish of revenge and a gift for himself. Just like how he took away Hyunjin’s one chance at happiness because he couldn’t help himself, he was going to take away his brother’s, too, and it had to be during his adult ceremony. It had to be a very bitter reminder of a night that was supposed to be a celebration, and it had to turn into a post-apocalyptic wasteland afterwards. Chris obviously wasn’t going to still want you after learning the truth. He wasn’t like Hyunjin—he didn’t know how to swallow his pride. It could take some effort on Hyunjin’s part to convince you why you belonged with him, but you would eventually come around. Everybody eventually came around.

He would know what a gigantic presumption that was if he exerted some effort to get to know you just a little bit instead of your body.

Hyujin couldn’t really calculate how much his attempt would backfire and push you to make the decision to leave the estate instead. He waited and waited and waited for some retaliation, but all he got in return was a whole lot of nothing. Watching his brother turn a little more sullen every day, descending into the fatal depths of melancholy revealed a dusty film at the back of his mind. 

Every time Hyunjin fell, Chris was there. Covered up for him whenever he could because they had each other and they would never leave one another. That was the one thing carved into their minds as they were growing up.

What Hyunjin had for you seemed way different than what Chris had. Maybe he had indeed confused his feelings for you with something else. Maybe there was a reason why he felt so inferior to his older brother. All Hyunjin knew was lust, yet Chris seemed to know better. He couldn’t help but think about what would change if you were gone from his life for good versus his brother’s. He thought about it for a long time.

It took some guts to finally admit it, but maybe you were Chris’ fire girl. Every once in a while she would pop into Hyunjin’s mind again, and his heart would ache. So much But that was in the past. If she knew what he had turned into, she would hate him.

The brothers had talked about being free for so long. They had dreamed about it. When Hyunjin was imprisoned, doing scandalous things was just his way of throwing a fit. So that he would be told he was not worthy. So that he would be let go. But then you appeared. You made his sentence bearable. Gave him a taste of something he had been missing for quite some time. Something that tasted very much like a piece of glazed cake.

Hyunjin was so consumed with vengeance vision that it caused him to lose perspective of a lot of things, which ended up scarring the one person he deep down cared about in this world. He couldn’t control himself for one night much like his brother, but then again, Chris would never come up with intricate plans to purposefully hurt him. He had just fallen a victim to his emotions some years ago.

Freedom. What a valuable thing. Yet no amount of money in this world was enough to have it. 

If you were willing to pay the price on the other hand…

Cut the cord.

He knew what he had to do to put an end to all this. He had to pull one last number. 

Even if it cost him his brother.

“Hello, brother. Going somewhere?”

Chris heard the door close and the lock being turned behind him. His eyes had turned into flamethrowers threatening to burn the entire place down out of sheer fury.

“We had each other, huh? We were supposed to never leave one another.”

“Yet you were about to,” Hyunjin disapprovingly tsked, “Here I am clinging to my older brother not to leave me. I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Christopher the Great,” Hyunjin deliberately raised his voice and then segued to a diminuendo, “Loved by everyone. His subjects. His friends. His mother. Even by the one woman his little brother has fallen for.”

“What would you even know about love, Hyun?”

“Not to mention, she’s not even pure blood,” he contorted his face like he was reciting ridiculous facts, “What were you even thinking?”

“What were you thinking?”

“I’m afraid if I can’t have her, no one can.”

“ENOUGH!!!” 

The brothers were so engrossed in getting on each other’s nerves that they didn’t even hear the door open. Hyejin walked into her chambers with her eyes moist due to an alloy of rage and sorrow. She stopped right in front of her older son and declared with all the seriousness that ruled her being.

“You have my blessing if you accept to be the next in line, Christopher.

Chris froze in his place. So did Hyunjin, but for entirely different reasons. 

You’re going to ruin this, mother. 

“Just… Don’t go,” Hyejin’s voice trembled while squeezing her son's arms.

If she gave him the one thing he wanted, he would stay. He would stay forever and he would be happy. He could be happy here. There was absolutely no reason to leave.

“Please,” she begged as the tears ran down her face. Meanwhile, Hyunjin was drilling a hole in Chris’ face with his eyes.

Go. Don’t fall for it. At least one of us is capable of being decent and that’s not me.

When Chris finally made eye contact with his brother, he noticed something. His composure was still intact, but he was looking at him with almost pleading eyes. Like he was asking him to read between the lines. To get the message. 

He remembered this exact look from somewhere. 

High school sophomore year. Hyunjin knew Chris and his bandmates had been planning to break into the gym on a Friday after school and spend the night there. No matter how much he had begged his brother not to do it, Chris just turned a deaf ear to him.

“You’re too uptight, Hyun. You really need to loosen up a little. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Something’s going to happen. Don’t go.”

“I’m being very careful. Mom and dad think we’ll be at practice for the upcoming competition. We’re not gonna get busted.”

“Not everything is about that, for fuck’s sake. You’re gonna get hurt!”

“Stop being paranoid, Hyun.”

Stubborn. He was just so fucking stubborn. He wouldn’t listen to him ever. Chris was furious to no end when Hyunjin appeared next to their homeroom teacher like he wanted to make it clear he was the one snitching on his brother stealing the gym keys. They had exchanged this exact same look that day when Chris received detention. Little did he know all Hyunjin was trying to do was to prevent his brother from getting beaten up to a pulp because ‘the drummer dude needed to be in bad shape’ to pass on the competition. The invasion of their gym by the delinquents of the neighboring high school was the talk of everyone for the following week.

Please, Chris. Do it for us. Leave. Be free. For good.

Chris’ eyes darted from Hyunjin to his mother and he almost spat the words.

“This throne and everything that reminds me of it can kindly go to goddamn hell, your highness.”

One day they could talk about it maybe. One day Chris would understand Hyunjin’s intentions behind what he did.

But today was not that day.

Chris and his mother’s deal was carved in stone: he had to prove himself if he wanted to be ‘ordinary’. Even if it killed her inside, she agreed to watch her older son forfeit everything and walk away from this life. Sending off a loved one into oblivion and not knowing if they would ever come back was a familiar feeling for Hyejin. She had done it once before. About two decades ago to be precise.

“You asked for me, mother?”

“Yes.”

Hyejin had called Hyunjin for their ritual Sunday tea. They would usually spend their mornings having a long and calm breakfast, talking about benign things as if they weren’t tiptoeing around much deeper stuff and being sarcastic with each other. That particular Sunday, she didn’t feel the need to observe the formalities and cut straight to the chase.

“Why did you do it?”

He also knew there was no point in trying to drag some things anymore. He took a long sip from his tea, eyes still on his mother’s, and calmly responded.

“If I didn’t give him a reason to leave for good, you were going to lure him back here again. Next thing you know, he can’t leave the grounds because he fucking breathed.” 

“That kind of language is highly redundant, Hyunjin.”

“I know how your mind works. You can deny it all you want, but I take after you, your highness,” he irritably smiled, “It’s okay if he hates me for the rest of his life, but I know it’s gonna kill you.”

“So you want to hurt me that much,” she reciprocated his smile with moist eyes.

“Somebody needed to remind you of the taste of your own medicine. You seem to have forgotten it.”

Hyejin looked at her son and heaved a tired sigh. There was nothing but bitterness and animosity radiating from him, but it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even his father’s fault—he hadn’t touched Hyunjin’s soul one bit. Whatever he had turned into, whatever he harbored inside him was the responsibility of only one person, and that was her.

“With Christopher gone, I need to name an heir. That means you’re going to be—”

“No.”

No? What did he mean no? She was offering him unlimited power to do whatever he pleased, what else was he asking for?

“Isn’t this what you’ve wanted all along?”

Hyunjin looked at her with an expression that almost spelled disdain.

“That’s really what you thought I wanted? A life sentence?” he questioned, somewhat nauseated, “I just wanted to be me, mother. I didn’t feel like taking you up on your challenge is all.”

“You do realize someone has to—”

“If you want this prison to remain intact, I suggest broadening your filters for an heir. Someone from the royal council would be nice.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He leaned into the white iron table and clasped his hands on it as the Sunday morning breeze brushed his hair.

“It means the second you announce my coronation and blast me to the public, I’m going to indulge in the most abominable things this reign has ever seen and force this entire lineage to fall from grace. Horrendously,” he tilted his head and posed his tranquil threat, “You’re welcome to try me.”

Hyejin was feeling the walls closing in on her, literally watching her other son also slipping away from her with every word he uttered. She felt tired. She felt defeated. She felt like she was coming back from war and she had no life left within herself anymore. Maybe that was why she wasn’t as quick with her retorts as she used to be.

“You held us captive here for years because of what? The man wanted to kiss someone.” 

“It’s not as easy as that, Hyunjin.”

“Nothing absolves what we’ve been through, mother.”

“Oh, is that so? Were you struggling while having the time of your life with your little playthings?”

Hyunjin’s face turned a couple of shades lighter at first for he was caught off guard, but it quickly returned to its original state.

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew what I was doing all this time,” he squinted his eyes, “Why did you let me get away with it?”

She was a queen. She was one of the strongest queens this country had ever seen. She was beauty. She was grace. She was the living epitome of what royalty should have looked and acted like.

But at the end of the day, she was still a mother.

“I can’t stand anything about this place,” Hyejin’s voice completely cracked, “I just couldn’t bear the thought of my sons leaving me to rot in this hell forever.”

“Even though you hated me?”

“I don’t hate you, Hyunjin.”

“But you don’t love me either, mother.”

“That’s not true,” she immediately replied and gestured the place next to her on the swing, “Come here.”

When Hyunjin sat down beside her, she pulled him close and laid his head down on her lap, which took him by surprise. She hadn’t done this in forever. It was such a distant memory that Hyunjin wasn’t sure whether he just saw it in a dream or not.

“There was one person I hated from the bottom of my soul, but it’s not you. It’s never been you,” she kept caressing his golden hair like she did when he was a kid, “But I acknowledge that it wasn’t fair to you that I projected it all on you. You remind me so much of him.”

“Father?” he looked up at her. She nodded in response.

“But you are you. Instead of using your beautiful face as a placeholder, I should have learned to make my peace with things,” she choked back her sobs, “I apologize.”

Hyunjin was temporarily teleported to the weekend mornings of his childhood. The frame in front of his eyes had a sepia filter. His mother looked younger. Happier. Lively. And she was kissing his hair.

You’re not my son. You’re my sun. You’re the most beautiful thing ever.

As if she was able to see what he was seeing with every stroke on her boy’s head, Hyejin softly uttered.

“You’re never going to stop being my sun. Ever.”

“Even though I’m broken beyond repair?”

“So what?”

He felt some wetness on his face like it started to rain all of a sudden. Hyejin was crying. So was Hyunjin. He slowly sat up and pulled his mother into his embrace. Maybe for the first time even.

“Do you want to be you?” she caressed her boy’s face as porcelain as hers, “Be you, sunshine. Be you away from here. You don’t deserve these chains, either. Nobody does.”

What a failure that this beautiful man felt like he had to do what he had to do because of her. What a catastrophe that she wasn’t able to save her son from himself when she could. What an absolute tragedy that she let herself be so haunted by the ghosts of her past that she wasn’t able to hear her sunshine’s cries for help, not until after his voice was completely gone.

“Just please don’t hate me anymore,” Hyejin let all the sobs she had been choking finally run free.

“Mom.”

Hyunjin placed a kiss on his mother’s forehead. Definitely for the first time. Yoongi had never kissed her forehead once. Maybe he wasn’t completely his father’s son after all.

“I don’t hate you. I just…” he tried his utmost best to avoid any landmines that could hurt her for once, “It’s just not fair that we were born into this.”

No, it wasn’t. None of this was fair. For anyone. If only she had the power to turn back time and do it all over again… She wouldn’t be able to promise to be mistake-free, but she would at least live to make her treasures happy the second time around.

“Don’t you ever want to be normal?”

“It doesn’t come with this job, sunshine,” Hyejin smiled through her tears, “It’s going to hurt so much at first, but I’ll be fine knowing my boys are happy somewhere. I will survive.”

“Or not.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she creased her brows in confusion.

“Didn’t you ever wish to be free?” he insisted, “Didn’t you ever wish to just be?”

“I wish I could, baby,” Hyejin squeezed his warm hands, “I really wish I could.”

“What if you can?”

Only Hyunjin would think of a solution as insane as this. Only he would propose to be reborn from their ashes in the pursuit of happiness. His tone was as nonchalant as it could ever be as if he was only suggesting an evening stroll.

“You do realize we have the means to fake our deaths, right?”

«TO BE CONTINUED»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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See you in the series finale, fellas. I'm emotionally drained.

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Reward

Pairing: Perv! Coach! Hyunjin x afab! Tennis player! Reader

Genre: Smut

Content Warnings: Tennis player au; perv patters; dirty thoughts; mentions of groping; fellatio; fingering; cunnilingus; unprotected sex; creampie

Word Count: 1.2k words 

Mellow speaks: Been sitting in my inbox for a while and I'm finally posting it!! Perv fics are really enjoyable to write lmao so i hope you guys like this!

Tagging: @sweethyuka @yedamology @enhacolor @axartia @hyunsuksmygod  @duolingofanaccount @zurimochi

There you go again, bouncing around the court in your tiny skirt, the fabric swishing around your legs as you wave your racquet in the air. You would be sure being a tennis player doesn't have anything to do with being sexy, but in hindsight, if you think about the way your skin shines as the sunlight bounces off it, or the way your shorts peek out from under the hem, it's not too hard to imagine why someone would lose their minds at the sight. 

Especially if that someone is your coach, Hyunjin, the person who's seen you wear all sorts of unintentionally sexy outfits during the two years he's been training you. From the yellow shorts you save for your matches, to the sports bra you put on while going jogging in the morning, he's had the pleasure of seeing them all, and yet, he has to say his favorite is the very white skirt you're wearing right now, coupled with that baby blue crop top. 

It's not his fault if he lets his mind wander a little whenever you're under his gaze, or so he tells himself, reasoning that it's only natural to be aroused upon seeing such a heavenly figure. It's only natural to want to run his hands along that supple skin, and to place kisses to all the places of your body that no one else has ever seen before.

Because to him, it appears as if you're doing this on purpose, just to rile your poor, musing coach up until he can't take it anymore and does something that's not right by the book. And you're not exactly proving him wrong either, not when you beckon for him to help you out a new move, a shy smile on your face while your hand shields your eyes. 

It's like an invitation to him, his mind clouding over with darkness despite the brightness of the day as he saunters over. "Yes, darling?," he chuckles, and you can't help but get flustered at the pet name he uses for you. He's told you a handful of times how he's always this friendly with his students, but you can tell that you're the only one for whom he's got that word reserved. And you can't exactly say you don't like it, because who doesn't enjoy the attention, especially if it's coming from a guy as hot as Hyunjin?

So you let him be, let him take a place behind your form as his hands gently make their way to your shoulders, snaking down your arms and getting you in position. "Your stance is too stiff," he mumbles against your ear, his teeth only barely grazing the skin of your earlobe as he fights the urge to bite down at it. The feeling leaves a tingling in its wake, making you gulp a little as he moves even closer, his chest now pressed flat against your back. 

He might as well be in heaven right now, judging from the way he almost finds himself unable to hold back the smirk that threatens to paint his lips, the part of his body that rests between his thighs urging him to pull you to him by the waist, eager to feel the way your hips would be rolling against his own. "Relax, darling," he mutters, his hands slipping away from your arms and choosing to feel down your sides and come to rest near your butt as he positions you correctly (or pretends to do so, anyway). 

You know exactly what he's up to, but there's nothing you can say, or rather, nothing that you want to say. "Feel one with your racquet, act as if it's a part of your being." That's the final piece of advice he gives you, before pulling away to monitor your moves from a distance. Though both you and him know that's yet another pretense, and what he really plans on doing is enjoying the view from the best place, wanting see each and every move of your body. 

Feeling his eyes raking across your form, you raise your arm, the ball in your hand being tossed into the air as you slam it down, lifting your body up into the sky. The ball does a clean smash on the other side of the net, and while Hyunjin was supposed to be praising you for getting the move right at last, he finds his mind too preoccupied with how gorgeous your midriff looks as your top rides up your torso, the urge to touch you even more overwhelming than before. 

All of a sudden, all he can think of is how badly he needs to feel every inch of your skin against his fingers, calloused from playing tennis for years. He wants to press his lips to the warmth that lies in the valley of your breasts, and he wants to life that short skirt up your legs and discover all the secrets you've kept hidden under the outfits you wear. He needs to love your body, he needs to worship each and every curve and dip.

He needs to feel your nails digging into his back as he leaves open-mouthed kisses to your neck and throat, and he needs to hear you moan in that velvety voice of yours as he shoves his tongue into your core and licks stripes and shapes up your pussy. He wants to feel your lips get wrapped around his cock, and he wants to feel the way your palms run up and down his length and massage his balls as you go down on him, showing him stars in the daytime. 

He wants to see your body, see the effect that playing tennis for hours every day has had on it, and he wants to bury his face between your breasts while his cock thrusts and twitches inside you, and he wants to push his seed that spills out of your hole, back into it and fill you up. Yeah, he wants to fuck you. Fuck you inside the changing room, against the lockers. He wants to drag you to his car and fuck you on the backseat, and then he wants to bring you to his home and fuck you against every surface, from the kitchen counter to the bed. He wants to reward you for being a good student, and he wants to punish you for being so distracting. 

He knows what he wants to do, he's known it for a while now. But until today, what he didn't know was how he was going to do what he wanted to do, yet in this moment, he thinks he finally knows. The tournament is coming up, and being the star that you are, he knows you're gonna win. He'll have plenty of time to give you a prize after that, and a good reason too. 

And until that time comes, he can always rely on the stock of photos he has of you (to show you how your form changes throughout a match) to help him through the night.

Tattoos and sex

→ PAIRING: Bang Chan x fem!reader

→ GENRE: idol!au | mua!au | fluff | smut — MDNI!

→ SYNOPSIS: Being the only MUA that can cover up chan's intimate tattoo, one thing led to another, however, the fun didnt stop there.

→ WARNINGS: explicate sexual content | she/her pronouns | make-up artist reader | smut | established relationship | unprotected sex | public oral sex (M) | oral sex (F) | sloppy bj | pet names (pup, little one, etc) | throat fucking | cum swallowing | cum sharing | nipple and breast play | face sitting | face grinding | clit play | fingering | squirting | oversensitivity | breeding kink | creampie | sub-space | use of the words 'sir' and slut'

→ WORDS: 7k ~ (7097)

→ requested by: 💀👑 | requests are currently: closed!

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

→ m.list — → you can also read it on my ao3

Clutching the red plastic tray, you walk up the array of food. It's lunch time which means you're on a break. The canteen is slowly but surely filling up with numerous people and idols - some you recognise and some you don't.

Salads, dressing, meats, tofu, the selection of food is overwhelming but also good considering the cooks cater to everyone and everything.

You settle on piling your plate up with something small and light, noticing that you're not terribly hungry but need something to eat to carry on functioning these last hours of your shift. You grab the utensils and a small, ice cold bottle of water before taking a seat.

You look around as you munch on your food, idols sitting with their group members, managers sitting with other managers. Words buzzing around the hall, idle chit-chat here and there.

You rub your shoulder, giving yourself a massage to relieve yourself of this harsh knot you didn't know you had until now - until you had time to relax.

“Need a hand, pup?” A soft voice behind you, tray plated high with food situating beside you.

“Mhm. If you're offering.” You hum.

“Anything for my darling.” You flush pink, feeling strong hands on your shoulders, fingers digging deep in the muscle to relieve you of your pain.

“You two are so sickeningly sweet.” You laugh, watching Changbin sit opposite you. His tray stacked with a variety of meats and salad, protein shake to accommodate.

“Are you exercising after?” You nod your head at the shake. Changbin nods.

“Planning to. That's if we have enough time.”

“Y'all busy?” 

“You could say that.” You hum as a response, feeling yourself relax.

“Better pup?” Chan asks softly, rubbing your shoulders.

“Mhm, much." You smile softly at him, watching him sit beside you.

“I can do a more in depth massage once we're home, if you get what I mean.” Chan smirks, wiggling his brows seductively. You slap his tattooed bicep gently, flushing pink.

“I take back what I said about you two being sweet.” Changbin pulls a face, causing you to laugh softly. 

“Sorry Binnie.” He laughs, waving his hand as if to say ‘It's whatever’ “How's the new tattoo healing up?”

Changbin looks at his fresh tattoo, a simple design of a tattooed dweakki on his arm, surrounded by various other tattoos scattered here and there.

“It's healing at least. Takes time, y'know.” You hum as a response, munching on your food. Chan's hand rests on your thigh, occasionally stroking it.

“How did Jisung manage with the compass tat?” Changbin and Chan both give each other knowing looks, before laughing softly.

“He urm, complained a lot.” Chan laughs softly.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. I think where it's placed, it hurt twice as much for him.”

“We did try and tell him it would hurt, but did he listen? Nope.” Chan sighs, shaking his head before letting out a small chuckle.

“When does Sungie ever listen?” You pip in, raising a brow.

“True.” Changbin says with a mouthful of food. “You do have to tell him several times to do the simplest of things.”

Chan nods his head and hums, agreeing with Changbin. His hand squeezes your thigh softly, making you feel butterflies in your stomach. His hand is warm, soft yet coarse. 

The hands of a working man.

“You can't deny though.” You begin, swallowing your food, “He does make some good music. Lyrically, he is a genius.”

“Ya think?” Chan puts down his utensils, attention all on you. You nod, looking at him.

“Yes. You could say I have a few favourite songs that happen to be Sungies.”  

“You mean, I'm not just your number one fave?! You have more?!” Chan pouts, hand over his heart as he sniffs. You roll your eyes, taking his hand in yours. You play with his tattooed fingers, slowly tracing the small patterns of hearts, diamonds and words.

A few of his nails coated in black polish, the remaining bare with a simple black design that he drew himself. His ring finger holding a promise ring you gave him months ago.

“You'll always be my favourite, Channie. You know that.” You pout, preoccupied with his hands.

“Mhm.” He hums, watching you trace the patterns. He gently intertwined his fingers with yours, your hands looking tiny beside his. You blush, looking up at him to see his eyes sparkling and laced with love and admiration for you.

“My beautiful pup.” He hums, cupping your chin gently. You flush pink watching the space between you both lessen as Chan leans in.

You close your eyes and pucker your awaiting lips. Just as Chan becomes close to pressing his plump lips against yours, you both get interrupted by Jisung.

“Ew! Can't you guys do that elsewhere?! I'd like to keep my lunch in my stomach, thank you very much.”

“Cockblock.” You mumble loud enough for Chan to hear. He chuckles and nudges your side with his elbow, winking at you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Y/N! Do you have some concealer?”

“Y/N, I need a blush brush, I don't know where mine is! ”

“Y/N, what lipstick shade are we doing?”

You take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose. You took the liberty of hiding in the bathroom, needing a few minutes. You didn't think you could get sick of hearing your name – yet here you are.

“I'm seriously considering changing my name.” You mumble to yourself, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

Your sleeves rolled up to your elbows, hair scrapped in an unkempt messy bun. A strap around your waist with a pocket full of your makeup tools.

“Three forty.” You sigh. “I still have several hours left until this hectic shift is over.”

It's the biggest con of the year – kcon. People travel from all over the world just to see their favourite group/idol perform. You love kcon, however, being a make-up artist and the head in charge, it's a stressful day.

Deciding that you have been hiding for long enough, you push yourself up to your feet and walk out, preparing yourself for another game of “Where's this?” and “Where's that?”

You walk up to the idol who's make-up you were currently doing before you had to excuse yourself. Maintaining your professionalism, you smile politely as you take out your tools.

“So sorry for leaving you like this! Now, where were we?” The idol politely smiles at you, claiming that they understand. They even teased you, saying they would keep your ‘absence’ a secret. You both laugh and joke, make small talk about this and that.

Your colleagues continue to ask you twenty questions, that distinct pinch slowly returning between your brows.

“Just a few more hours. You can do this, y/n!” you tell yourself, taking slow, deep breaths. You resume your task of covering up the idols tattoos that situate on his arm. You, plus one other MUA, are the only two who are qualified enough to do tattoo cover ups as well as the typical makeup.

As you apply the final touches, a colleague knocks on the door before walking in.

“Ah! There you are, y/n!” You stand up straight, gently putting your brushes down as you look at your colleague.

“Oh, hi! What's up?”

“Uh, well–” They start. You tilt your head to the side, watching their cheeks flush pink. They shift on their feet, hands clasped together.

It felt… Awkward.

“You know that you and Chan are together.” You hum.

“Yes, have been for a couple of years now.” 

“Uh, yeah! So uh, you know how I do skz make up and you do others even though you want to do skz.”

“Mhm.”

“And you know how Chan has that crazy tattoo that travels to his – uh… area.” You giggle softly to yourself, humming.

“I do indeed, darling.”

“Well, uh. His stage outfits is crop tops and well, his tattoos need covering and–”

“And you don't feel comfortable covering it so need me to?” You interrupted, voice soft and understanding.

“Yeah. I don't feel comfortable covering up someone else's boyfriend's intimate tattoo.”

“I totally understand! Just give me a second to grab some extra things and I'll be over in about ten minutes.” Your colleague grins, thanking you before dashing out.

You collect fresh, new tools before quickly explaining to a colleague that you will next door is they need anything - which you hope they don't 

You walk out of the room, knocking on the next door before walking inside. Compared to the room your currently working in, skz's dressing room is much more calmer.

“Oh, hey y/n!” Felix walks out topless. His arms decorated in various small tattoos, the same compass laying dormant on his neck. His hair dyed black, the hair stylist giving Felix bangs that are long enough to cover his eyes. He munches on some bread, his lips turning upwards in a big grin.

“Hey Lixie!! Looking good as always.” You wink, noticing how defined his body looks.

“Oh please! This is nothing.” Felix blushes softly, brushing off your compliment. “You, however, look stunning!”

You raise a brow as you look in the mirror then back at Felix.

“I appreciate you being polite Felix, but uh, I've looked better.” You scoff. Felix rolls his eyes, chewing the last of his bread. You lick your lips, stomach growling. 

You've been so busy, you haven't realised how hungry you are until now.

“Are you hungry?” Felix asks, frowning. You nod slowly. “Come, I'll bring you to our little snack tray. Take something.”

“Oh, you really don't have t–”

“Shut up, y/n and take something.” Felix laughs heartily, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the snack tray.

Bags of fruits and nuts, bread, crisps, sweets and chocolate. You look around, struggling to pick. As you reach out to pick the last bread, a tattooed hand comes into view, snatching it away. 

A hand you all know too well.

“Chan!!” You whine, pouting. He laughs softly, opening up the packet and taking a bite out of the bread. You glare at him, failing to notice that he's in nothing but his stage pants and shoes. His hair straight, make-up to perfection. A wolf sleeve on one arm, various shapes and pictures on the other – his ‘memorial arm’ he likes to call it purely because it's decorated in things that remind him of the things and people he loves the most.

The side of Chan's body is decorated in various flowers, leaves and your favourite bird, trailing down his V lines to his intimate area. This tattoo is his most precious and valued tattoo because it reminds him of you. It's your favourite flowers and your favourite bird. With Chan being an idol, he is away most of the time, meaning you two get to spend little to no time together.

He got the tattoo on a whim. Promotions finished, it's holiday season and you both finally got to spend time together. The day he got the tattoo, he lied to you in the sense of him claiming he had ‘errands’ to run, and by ‘errands’, he meant getting the tattoo.

You were shocked when you saw it, but overwhelmed that Chan would do something like this for someone like you. He said he had been planning the tattoo for a long time, designing it and putting it together piece by piece. When you asked him why he got it so big, he replied in his typical, cheeky way;

“Because you own me.”

“There's plenty more food in the tray, pup!” You scowl at him, eyes turning into thin slits. Your gaze could burn holes into him right now. He smirks, teasingly taking a bite out of the bread, the very bread you wanted.

“But I wanted that!!” You point to it. Chan looks at it, then at you and gasps. 

“Really? Oh no!” 

“Chan!!!” You whine, becoming close to tears. You go to snatch the bread out of his hand, failing when he puts it out of reach in the form of him raising his hand up high.

“Now you're being an asshole.” You mumble.

“Yeah, c'mon hyung. Don't be a dick.” Seungmin laughs, clearly enjoying the show.

“Not being a dick, but she can have it if she begs.” Chan smirks. You flush pink, swallowing thickly.

“H-Have what?” 

“You know–” Chan leans in, his hot breath fanning against the shell of your ear. Your heart thumps against your chest, threatening to burst free. “The bread.”

You whine, slapping his bare pec as he laughs.

“You're an asshole, Bang Chan!” 

“Ohh! She used your full name, Hyung. You're in trouble.” Minho pipes in.

“Oh please, lino. My lil pup couldn't punish me if she tries. I know all the places that make her squirm and wiggle beneath me. She'll succumb to me in less than 5 minutes.” 

Your mouth hangs open, rapid blinking at your words gets lodged in your throat. A cocky smirk plastered on Chan's face as he takes a bite out of the long forgotten bread.

“Pft. Cat got your tongue, y/n?” Minho laughs.

“I–” You stutter.

“I rest my case.” Chan says in a sing-song voice, winking at you. With your words still lodged in your throat, brain failing to come to terms, you settle on slapping Chan's bare pec once again.

“Ouch!” Chan pouts, rubbing the spot where you slapped. 

“Fuck you.” You mumble, glaring at him.

“You wish.” 

“Chan!!” You whine, groaning and kicking your head back. “Stop!! I came here to cover up your tattoo, not to be teased.”

“Right right. But you love it, pup.” 

“You're such a menace.” You whine. Chan winks, humming in acknowledgement. He finishes the bread, licking his lips in a teasing way.

“That was delicious!” Chan rubs his stomach, acting like he's just had the best meal in the world.

“Just you wait, Chan. Just you wait.” You frown, making Chan laugh softly.

“I'm sorry pup. Am I teasing you too much?” Chan coos, stroking your cheek gently. You hum as a response. “Want me to make it up to you? Show you how sorry I am?”

“Later. I'm still on the clock and you, Mr, need that tattoo covering.” You gesture towards his tattoo, to which Chan sighs and rolls his eyes at.

“I don't understand why I have to cover it.” He mumbles, walking to a separate room to allow you both more privacy. You follow him, laughing softly.

“You knew this when you got it, babe.”

“Mhm. If the stylists just didn't put me in crop tops 24/7, then I wouldn't have to have it covered.” Chan walks into the room, you following behind. You close the door, locking it purely for the purpose of saving yourself and the unfortunate soul who decides to walk in, some embarrassment. 

“I don't mind.” You mumble. “Just means I get to see your well defined body.” You wink, trailing your hand slowly down his chest and abs.

Now it's his turn to blush. His soft, milky skin turning a rose colour, breath hitching in his throat as he watches your hand.

“Pup…” He mumbles.

“Mhm?” You cock an eyebrow, finger hooking on the belt loop of his stage pants. You tug at them indicating you want off.

“You need to either lower or remove these Chan so I can cover up your tat.” Chan groans, rolling his eyes as he unbuttons and unzips his pants.

He drops them half way down to his thighs, pulling his boxer shorts low enough for his full tattoo to show. You hum in contentment, kneeling down as you grab your concealing kit.

Kneeling to the ground, you become eye level with his penis. You swallow, ignoring how you can imagine his length and size just from the bulge. “Act professional y/n. you're still on the job!” 

His boxer shorts are low enough that his v lines are visible, some of his perfectly trimmed pubic hair peeking out from the waistband. You load up a brush with some concealer, carefully dabbing it on his tattoo. You soon become fixated on getting your job done, lips parting due to concentrating.

Chan watches you, watches you do your magic. He's impressed and proud of you for being able to do something like this. His heart swells with love and admiration for you, a warm smile pulling up on the corner of his lips. 

The bristles of the brush tickle him slightly, goose bumps rising to the surface of his skin as you dab and swipe the brush. You place a hand on his muscular thigh, your lips staying parted.

Chan's bottom lip gets caught in between his teeth. He can feel your hot breath fanning against the material of his boxer shorts, hitting his cock. He squirms a little to which you frown at.

“Channie, stay still.” You pout.

“Sorry…” He whispers. Minutes went by painfully slowly. Chan has to think of things that turn him off in order to stop his blood from flowing down south - but to no avail.

The longer time went on, the more he thought. He checks out the position you're in, swallowing as his mind taking him back to all those times he's fucked your cute little face raw, hands planted firmly on his thighs, tears spilling down your cheeks slowly becoming mixed with the cascade of drool. 

Your eyes telling him, begging him to continue, to have his way with you.

“Chan…” You whisper. Your voice brings him out of his train of thought. Then, did he realise that you had stopped what you were doing, hand hovering in the air.

“What's up pup? Why did you stop?”

“Uh, C-Chan, you're –” You place your brush down, swallowing thickly, eyes fixated.

Instead of acting all embarrassed and shy about it, he smirks, cupping his own erection and squeezing. You let out a small whimper, pressing your lips together in a thin line. You feel your core throb, lust and excitement pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Like what you see, pup?” Chan groans, his tendons visible as he rubs and squeezes his own cock.

“Y-Yes.” You whisper, watching the way his hands move, listening to every soft groan and grunt fall past his lips. 

“Want a taste?” He purrs. You swallow thickly feeling like you're under some sort of spell just from those three words.

“Yes.” You shakily whisper. He hooks his thumbs under the waistband of his boxer shorts, pulling them down and letting them rest halfway down his thighs.

Your heart beats against your ribcage hard, your wetness coating the material of your panties. His hard cock springs free before standing proud in front of your face. 

You gently blow on it, causing it to twitch. You giggle, watching his pre-cum slowly trail down his length.

You wrap your hand around the base, fingers barely making it all the way around due to his thickness. Chan grunts, loving how small your hands look around him. You look up at him with lust filled eyes, tongue darting out to moisten your lips.

“Can't have you going out on stage like this, can we?” You purr as you slowly pump his length. Chan hums softly, tilting his head to the side as he watches.

“What are you going to do about it, pup?” 

“Whatever you want.” You press your tongue flat against his tip, swiping some of his pre-cum onto your tongue. Chan grunts, hips bucking at the contact. You giggle at his reaction, settling on giving kitten licks on his cockhead.

You pump him at a reasonable pace, soft hums and grunts from the man standing before you cause goose bumps to rise on the surface of your skin. His skin is hot to the touch, his veins protruding along the sides of his length.

“C'mon pup. I know you can do better than that.” Chan hums, his thumb stroking your cheek. You look up at him through your lashes as you wrap your lips around his cockhead. Chan let's out a throaty grunt, your tongue swirling along his cockhead before giving him soft sucks.

With each grunt and moan, it encourages you more and more. You push your head further down, trapping more of his length inside your warm and wet mouth. You hum, closing your eyes as you manage to stuff half his length in your mouth.

Due to his thickness, the corners of your mouth burn and sting from the stretch. You focus on sucking Chan the way he likes it, the way that makes him moan like a whore. You pump what your mouth fails to reach, your saliva coating his length well.

You pull away for a split second, gathering some saliva in your mouth before spitting on his cock. You pump him fast, using your saliva as lube before reinserting his cock back into your mouth.

“F-Fuck pup. You suck cock so well.” Chan grunts, his toes curling inside his shoes. He reaches down, holding the side of your head still.

You know what this means.

You still your movements, hands placing on his thighs as he pushes his cock further into your mouth. You close your eyes tightly, feeling the ability to breath becoming a struggle, your gag reflex activating due to his cock reaching down your throat.

“Just take it like the good girl you are.” Chan purrs, watching his cock slowly disappearing down your throat. Tears stream down your cheeks, gag reflex activating several times making saliva accumulate and pool in your mouth.

The tip of your nose hits his pubic area, a hum of contentment coming from Chan as he grips the side of your head

“Let me use you pup. Let me use you for my own satisfaction and I promise, I will treat you like a queen later on.”

You whimper the best you could, thighs rubbing together for some sort of friction. Your panties are soaked with your juices by now, your body hot and sweaty as lust and hormones fill the air around you.

Chan slowly and cautiously thrusts his hips, careful not to hurt you at first and to test the waters. You dig your nails into his thighs, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. Chan shivers, growling as he becomes fixated on your face.

“Such a pretty sight.” His hips pick up in speed and power, his cock rubbing your mouth and throat in a delicious way. Drool bubbles from the corners of your mouth, spilling down your chin as your tears fall down your cheek, mixing together with your drool.

“Shit.” Chan grunts, his movements becoming faster and powerful. You swallow in an attempt to swallow the sea of saliva. You fail, deciding on letting it just spill. As you swallow, your throat clenches around Chan, squeezing his length in a delicious way.

Your throat starts to feel sore from the continuous abuse from his length, jaw feeling slack and knees sore, however, you don't mind. You love this, love being used by Chan. It excites you to no end knowing that you're the reason Chan is losing all sense of self.

His cock twitches, pleasure rushing through his body and veins. He kicks his head back, panting and moaning as he fucks your face raw. You slowly start to feel dizzy with lust, desperation kicking in.

Chan's cock twitches, a peripheral of curses and moans leave his lips as he struggles to maintain his composure. The knot in the pit of his stomach tightening with each thrust.

“I'm going to cum down your throat and you are going to swallow every last drop.” Chan growls, looking down at your tear and drool stained face. Your lashes flutter, a soft whine emitting from your stuffed mouth.

“That's my girl.” His body tingles, balls becoming tighter with each thrust, cock twitching endlessly. You help him reach his orgasm by swallowing him, as well as wrapping your tongue around his cock before flattening it to allow him to reach further - if that's even possible at this point 

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Chan pants erratically. Your eyes squeeze shut as he halts his movements. You feel his cock twitch, hot ropes of cum shooting down your throat. You swallow some of it as Chan pulls his cock out of your mouth.

You look up at him, giggling and opening your mouth wide to reveal the leftover cum you purposefully failed to swallow. Chan grunt as he kneels down. He shoves his tongue into your mouth making you whimper against his lips.

Your tongues collide as Chan collects your saliva and his cum on his own tongue, tasting the salty taste of himself. He pulls away, a smug look on his face as he looks down at your dazed and stained face.

“For being such a good girl, I'm going to treat you real good later.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“C-Chan, wait.” You whimper. 

“No.” He simply replies. He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, walking to the bedroom where he throws you on the mattress.

You softly grunt, leaning up on your elbows as Chan kneels between your legs. His eyes dark with lust, hands shaking as adrenaline and hormones pump through his veins.

Animalist growls erupt from his throat as he grabs your work shirt. He rips it open, the button popping and flying across the room.

“C-Chan.” You whisper, swallowing thickly as he grabs your breast firmly in his hand from over your bra.

“Since the blowjob, I haven't stopped thinking about you. That perfect mouth of yours, your cute adorable moans. Do you know how much willpower it took for me to not get hard, to calm myself down?!”

You cheekily grin, fluttering your lashes innocently. “But Chan, you wanted me to suck your cock. Did I look pretty for you? With your cock between my lips?”

He shivers, squeezing your breast roughly. “Don't test me, pup. I'm already hungry for you.” He leans in close, breath fanning against the shell of your ear. “And the night is still young.”

You shiver, allowing him to take off your shirt. His lips attack the skin of your neck, teeth sinking and nipping at the skin as he expertly unclasps your bra with one hand. He hastily unbuttons your jeans, pulling them down your legs before they soon join the rest of your clothing.

You whimper, watching Chan eye your body.

“Fuck.” He shakily whispers. He dips his head low, kissing the valley between your breasts as he squeezes both your breasts. His lips trail to the left, tongue finding your hard nipple. 

With the tip of his tongue, he flicks it over the sensitive nub, causing you to shiver and whimper his name. He hums in satisfaction, removing the remainder of his clothes until he is just in his boxer shorts.

He captures your nipple in between his teeth, nibbling and biting it before harshly sucking. His tongue swirls around your nipple, his fingers taking the right one to tug and roll it between his fingers.

You bury your fingers into his hair, hips bucking upwards to meet him in a desperate attempt to grind on him or just to simply feel friction. 

“Such a desperate pup.” Chan tsk before kissing and sucking the skin of your breast making sure to leave purple marks.

“C-Chan…” You whine pathetically, tugging at his hair by the roots.

“Listen to yourself, you want me that bad huh?” 

“Y-Yes! I need you so bad Chan. I need to feel you deep inside me.” You whimper, pathetically begging. Chan shivers at your words.

“Good things come to those who wait, pup.” He trails his lips down from your breasts to your stomach, kissing along the waistband of your panties. He pulls down your panties slowly, throwing them on the floor before situationing himself comfortable between them.

He groans deeply, feeling his cock twitch in his boxer shorts as he comes face to face with your glistening core. It throbs, silently begging for something to enter, to feel full and euphoric. He becomes dizzy at your scent and sight, licking his lips animalistically.

“My gosh, pup.” He whispers. You flush red, feeling embarrassed about how wet and needy you are. Your juices coat your folds, much to Chan's pleasure.

He leans in, tongue instantly pressing against your aching clit. Your back arches as you feel him swipe his from your entrance to your clit, repeating the process several times. Your taste coats his tongue causing him to shiver and bask in the flavour.

“You taste delicious, y/n. fuck, in addicted to you.” His voice is shaky, adrenaline and hormones on high alert causing him to feel dizzy and shaky. He laps at your entrance, humming at the taste of you. His tongue poking your entrance, daring to enter. “I have a better idea.” 

He moves away causing you to watch him, brows pinching together. He lays flat on his back looking at you and smirking.

“Sit on my face.”

Those four magical words charmed you, your body automatically moving on its own. You shuffle to your face, legs either side as he holds onto your thighs. Your dripping cunt inches from his mouth as he licks his lips, your scent causing him to go dizzy.

You cautiously sit on his face, whimper when you feel his tongue flat on your clit. You hover, not wanting to put all your pressure on Chan because you don't want to hurt him in any way possible - however, Chan isn't satisfied.

“I said, sit on my face!” He growls. You whimper loudly, feeling his hands cup your ass and squeezing harshly. 

“Yes sir.” You whisper, obeying him as you sit properly on him. 

“Good girl.” He hums before sucking on your clit straight away. You moan his name loudly, pleasure rushing down your spine. As he sucks and licks your sensitive bundle of nerves, you take liberty in gliding your hands up your stomach to cup your own breasts.

You tilt your head back, moaning Chan's name repeatedly as you knead your own breasts, occasionally rolling and tugging at your own nipple. 

You feel Chan's tongue lap at your entrance greedily, desperately trying to catch every drop of your essence as his tattooed hands squeeze and part your ass cheeks in the process.

“Fuck, Chan.” You shakily breath out, running your fingers through his curls. His tongue effortlessly enters inside, his tongue caressing your walls. 

“C-Channie…” A simple hum can be heard from the man below you. You look down at him, his piercing, lust blown eyes meeting yours causing you to shiver. 

Before your brain could register what you were doing, your hips started to move on their own, the tip of Chan's nose nudging and rubbing your clit as you grind effortlessly on his face.

Normally, Chan would punish you for this because he didn't give you permission to do so, however, seeing you look so ethereal to him. Your head kicked back, fingers tugging and pinching your nipples, lips parted as your hips move erratically, desperate for release - it's enough to make him blow in his own underwear.

“Chan, fuck! Good, so good!” You cry out. One hand releases from your ass cheeks in order for him to pull his cock out of his underwear. He pumps himself slowly, wanting to savour the moment. He uses his own thumb to rub the tip of his cock, smearing his pre-cum around which makes his own hips buck.

Pressure builds up in the lower half of your stomach, your mind becoming foggy with lust. All you want is Chan, all you need is Chan. He's plaguing your thoughts and he doesn't even know about it. 

With every lick, suck and nibble brings you closer to the edge. Your thighs burn and shake from grinding down on him, desperately wanting to close but unable to do so. Chan knows your close, your exhibiting the tell-tale signs, the signs he knows too well.

Body shaking, lips parted but no words coming out. Your stomach clenching and being sucked in as you struggle to hold on.

“C-Cha– I can't!” You sob, the pressure being too much to bear. Chan hums, giving you the go ahead. You tug at his curls harshly, feeling your orgasm hit and wash over you in waves, causing the hair on your arms to stand straight.

Your juices squirt out on Chan's face, his already open mouth, catching each drop. With each droplet, he hums making sure to swallow. Once calm, you pant heavily, stroking his hair.

In one swift movement, your back on your back, Chan between your legs. He licks his lips clean of any remaining juice, wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

“More.” He whispers, taking off his boxer shorts. You swallow thickly, expecting him to slide between your legs and fuck you hard and rough, but Chan has other ideas.

Instead of his cock, he inserts two of his fingers deep inside you. You groan deeply, back arching as he pumps them, fingers curling along your sopping and tight walls.

“C-Chan!!” You cry out, gripping onto his wrists. “W-Wait!” 

Ruthless. His movements ruthless, fingers curling and abusing your g-spot making you uncontrollably shake and wither. Your hair sticks to your forehead, sweat coating the ends as your body burns.

He rubs your clit from side to side, rubs matching the tempo of the thrusts. You let out strangled moans, the oversensitivity burning, causing your nerve endings to be on high alert.

“Ch-Chan!”

“That's my girl. I know you can take it.” He kisses your thighs, biting at the skin as his hair tickles it. ”Can you take it, princess? Bear with it and cum for me again like the good lil pup you are?”

“Take it.. I can take it! 'm good girl.. I'd do anything for you.” You whimper, nails digging into the skin of his wrists.

“That's my girl. You're such a good girl for me, y/n.”

“G-Good girl. I'm good girl. Channie's good girl.”

“That's right. Who do you belong to?”

“Y-You!” Your head flops from side to side, the oversensitivity burning and becoming painful. Your juices spill out of your cunt, slipping down the curve of your ass and onto the sheets. Before you could warn him, your juices suddenly squirt out, landing on Chan's forearm.

Chan watches with a smirk on his lips, his fingers showing no signs of slowing down. He watches the way your body twists and turns, legs shake and your hands gripping onto the bed sheets. He pulls his fingers out before taking off his boxer shorts, situating himself between your legs straight after.

He tugs at his cock, lining it up to your entrance as he holds onto your waist.

“You've been such a good girl for me, pup. Now I'm going to give you what you've been waiting for.” He purrs. You give him a dumb smile, hissing as he pushes his cock inside your tight and sopping cunt.

He pushes all the way to the hilt, your walls contracting around him. He grunts deeply as he hangs his head low, the feeling of your tightness suffocating him.

“Shit.” He mumbles, before thrusting at a slow and steady pace. “Shit, you're so tight pup.” 

“C-Chan. More… need more!” 

“Does my pup want more of my cock? Are you greedy for it?”

“Y-yes. faster, harder. Chan, please I beg you. I need to feel so much more of you!” You eyes silently beg him, tears pricking your lower lash line 

“Awe.” He coos, stroking your cheek. “Look at you begging for it. You know what I like, such a slut.” 

Your body jolts suddenly, Chan's hips snapping harshly against yours as he fucks you raw. Your back arches, his cock instantly hitting your g-spot making you see stars. Your toes curl, the wet sounds of your soppy cunt filling up the bedroom.

“C-Cha–'' You struggle to say, feeling your mind slowly become clouded. You feel yourself slowly losing all sense, Chan being the only thing you're able to focus on. The way his cock drives deep inside you, his length rubbing your walls in the most delicious way that drives out every pant and moans. 

“I can't! Chan, i– deep, you're so deep!” A dumb smile plasters on your face, lips parted as tears spill from the corners of your eyes. Your body becomes consumed with too much pleasure, the tips of your fingers and toes tingling, your skin feeling like it's on fire.

Your juices coat Chan's cock with each pull back, spilling from your soppy cunt. Chan growls and groans, his fingers digging into your waist harshly, purple bruises slowly forming in their wake.

“Such a tight cunt. Your walls are squeezing my cock.” Chan groans deeply, tingles of pleasure run down his spine to his cock and balls, making it twitch inside you. “Shit pup!”

“C-Channie–” Your body tosses and turns, sweat coating your body. Chan pushes back his sweaty curls with one hand before leaning over you, resting on his forearms. His tempo slows down, but he stays deep inside.

“Look at me, pup.” He whispers, hot breath fanning against your face. You slowly turn your head, giving him a dumb smile. Eyes hazily and lidded, nothing but thoughts of Chan swimming around in your head.

“My dumb pup. Did you get fucked dumb from my cock?” He coos. You simply nod, unable to form sentences. “Cant even speak, huh? You really are a dumb slut.”

“Yes.” You whisper, unaware of what you're saying. “Chans dumb slut. I'm channie's dumb slut.” 

“Good girl.” He growls, his lips pressing against yours. The kiss is sloppy, teeth and tongues bashing and colliding. Spit mixes together, spilling from the corner of your lips.

He leans up once again, towering over you. Holding onto your waist tightly, he resumes his powerful and ruthless thrusting. Skin slapping on skin, the back of your thighs turning red raw from the constant abuse. 

“I'm going to breed my pup. Give you my seed.”

“Yes! Give it to me Chan. Breed me, please."

“You want my seed, little one? Going to milk my cock dry just to get what you want?” Your walls clench around Chan from his words, a deep grunt falling past his lips.

“Y-Yes!” You choke out, throat and mouth feeling sore and dry from the continuous pants.

“Fuck, such a greedy little girl.” His own voice raspy from overuse, his hips faltering at the thought of filling you to the brim.

“I might not last long.” He whispers, his eyes trailing to the space that connects you both together. His body shivers as he watches his cock penetrate you over and over again.

Your walls clamp around Chan, that familiar pressure building up once again. You claw at Chan's arms, red welts appearing on his skin and you wither.

“C-Chan. I-I'm…” Chan simply hums in acknowledgement, watching the way your juices continually spill from your swollen and overused cunt.

A couple more thrusts and hits on your g-spot and your orgasm hits you, hard. You gasp for breath, back arching violently from the bed as you squirt your juices all over Chan's cock, his lower half of his body and the sheets. 

Chan's eyes widen, his movements coming to a stop as he watches. “Holy–” He simply whispers.

Your body violently shakes, the ability to breath is apparent. You whisper and moan Chan's name over and over again, like a ritual.

“Still, to this day, you never fail to amaze me.” Chan growls, showing no mercy on his thrusting. He's being selfish, wants to chase his own high, fill you up nice and deep with his seed.

The oversensitivity causes you to pant heavily, choke on air. Body withers side to side, hands gripping onto the sheets tightly as you struggle to comprehend.

“C-Ch–” You sob, toes curling as tears spill down your cheeks.

“I know, I know pup.” His head dips low, eyes squeezing shut as his balls get tighter, the pressure becoming too much. “Just, a little longer.”

Your muscles scream at you, body slick with sweat. Your cunt burns and stings from overuse. Soft praises emit from Chan's lips, his orgasm approaching fast.

“Shit!” One final thrust was all it took. You feel his hot cum shoot out, coating your walls. His cock twitches with each release. You hum softly, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel him filling you up.

“It's so much.” He whispers, embarrassed as he hangs his head low. “I'm sorry pup, it's so much.” 

“More.” You simply whisper. Chan slowly pulls out of you, his cum seeping out from your swollen pussy. Your face scrunches up as your hips buck from the sting. “I want more.”

“No more, pup.” Chan softly speaks. Your bottom lip quivers.

“Why?!”

“Because–” Chan grabs some baby wipes, gently cleaning the cum from your cunt. You whimper, your cunt still too sensitive. “You're sore.”

“I can take it! Please chan!” You weakly lean up on your elbows.

“As much as I would love to fuck you into the night pup, I can't. You're too sore for any more.”

“But–” 

“No buts pup. We go take a bath, get some food and calm down. You're sore and tender and I don't want to hurt you anymore, even if it is intentionally. I get off knowing that you feel good, that's the main reason why I feel good. If I go back to fucking you at this moment in time and I see that you're in pain, it's not fun no more, pup.”

You pout, looking down. Disappointed? Yes, but you understand. Now that your hormones are slowly calming down, your head slowly becoming clearer, you understand his reasoning.

“Fine.” You mumble, pouting. Chan chuckles softly, pressing a sweet and gentle kiss on your sweaty forehead.

“I'll run us a bath, where we can relax, clean up and talk about our day.” Chan shuffles off the bed. ”After that, I'm going to smother you in so much love and kisses!”

You squeal as you get picked up in his strong, tattooed arms. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms around his neck as he cups under your ass to keep you stable. 

“How does that sound pup?” He whispers softly, lips brushing against yours.

“It sounds perfect Chan, just like you.”

→ note: i have no excuses nor any words, tbh. hehehehe :)  don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. enjoy!!

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @meltheninja13 | @laylasbunbunny | @oshimee

in need of comfort and angst, so it's a spiral of re reading my fave smaus. ❤️

Lover of Mine

music major!bang chan x english major!reader

genre: university!au, fluff, angst, (attempted) humour, slow burn, social media au

description: she doesn’t hate him, she just... doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. “it’s bad for my heart”, she claims. and she succeeds for a whole year until her clown of a friend felix, decides to take up music production as a summer extra credit unit knowing absolutely nothing about writing lyrics or composing. now who else to ask for help other than a creative writing major who specialises in poetry, and the best music production student on campus?

general warning: swearing, mentions of toxic relationships, a whole lot of angst

A/N: do let me know if you would like to be on the taglist or something! i'm a new blog so i've got like...2 followers 😭😂

p.s. pay attention to the timestamps in the chats and tweets ✌🏻 and search up the lyrics correlating to the timstamp in the spotify screenshots (you’ll know what i mean when you see it)

‼️ my loves please do me a favour and don’t like every single update if you’re binging. i really appreciate you reading but the spam makes me lose the other notifications 😅 it makes it really hard for me. thank you! 💛

episode 1 - pilot (meet the gang)

episode 2 - clownlix

episode 3 - the awesome threesome

episode 4 - there goes the ship

episode 5 - lock and key

episode 6 - starbucks date?

episode 7 (part 1) - somebody else

episode 7 (part 2) - lino’s new hoe

episode 8 - late night rendezvous

episode 9 - when hannie met jinnie

episode 10 - hyunjin memes

episode 11 - welcome to the foresome

episode 12 - a series of unfortunate events

episode 13 (part 1) - never too busy for you

episode 13 (part 2) - i found you

episode 14 - the crash...

episode 15 - ...and burn

episode 16 - stop acting like my therapist

episode 17 (part 1) - hyunjin’s off switch

episode 17 (part 2) - apple slices in the parking lot

episode 18 - d*caf

episode 19 - lost in the rain

episode 20 - you want me to romance you?

episode 21 - felix’s kink

episode 22 - game night

episode 23 - rekha and minho

bonus episode - the art of flirting

episode 24 (part 1) - aren’t we already dating?

episode 24 (part 2) - hyunjin’s pollen allergies

episode 25 - why is love so difficult?

episode 26 (part 1) - confusion

episode 26 (part 2) - frustration

episode 27 - not in the same way

episode 28 (part 1) - ilysb

episode 28 (part 2) - bros and bro wives

episode 29 - pretty man with pretty freckles

episode 30 - football highlights

bonus episode - changbin’s tinder disaster

episode 31 - can i be him?

episode 32 (part 1) - basic love songs

episode 32 (part 2) - can’t get you outta my head

episode 33 - road to spotlight

episode 34 - sunflower

episode 35 - almost

episode 36 (part 1) - serial rick roller

episode 36 (part 2) - yellow

episode 37 (part 1) - afterparty

episode 37 (part 2)

episode 37 (part 3)

episode 38 - aftermath

episode 39 - lovely jisung

episode 40 - how to say i love you

episode 41 (part 1) - devdas

episode 41 (part 2) - lino’s favourites

episode 42 (part 1) - i love you

episode 42 (part 2) - stay here darling

episode 43 - idiot watch

episode 44 (part 1) - bright lights and rainy nights

episode 44 (part 2) - 24 hour flower shop

episode 45 - felix’s project

episode 46 - john legend’s wife

episode 47 (part 1) - corona borealis

episode 47 (part 2) - felix’s parents

episode 48 (epilogue) - lover of mine

thank you! (interview with the 8some)

lover of mine extra blurbs

ask my muse - search the hashtag for all the asks ^^

pinterest board

sequel - too many feelings