And Then What?

And Then What?

Figurative is the word.   Fall back into my arms; I’ll show you   how real it can be.

She laughs at something you said, and I’m still              trying to FIGURE OUT what the words mean.

That’s okay; it’s just me. I’ve always been                    so easy              to forget.

Take it back.                     Make me smile               again. There’s nothing you can do.

‘Cause we’re just livin’ in a           fucked up world. No more excuses, explanations. It’s all my fault,

And fade to black.

This person just ended my whole career.

This is a young adult novel, someone write it.

Drarry Rec List

So I’ve been threatening more fandom posts, and I’ve promised some people on my Drarry Discord servers a top ten recs list for awhile. I figured I’d go all out and do something with a bit of detail rather than just rattling off a list of titles and authors. Fair warning, nearly everything I read is mature or explicit. (I’m an adult, and I’ll read what I like, damn it.) Haha. This is going to be specifically my top ten fics over 100k words. I’ll do another top ten of fics under 100k another time. Also, keep in mind this is out of what I’ve read in the past year or so only and as a result is always subject to change as I get my grubby little hands on more fics. Without further ado:

1. Title: Turn     Author: Saras_Girl     Rating: Explicit     Words: 306,708     Warnings: none     Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

    Thoughts: This fic is god tier, honestly. Have you ever wondered how your life might’ve gone if you’d done just one thing differently? What if Harry had tried to help Draco when he found him crying in the girl’s loo in their sixth year? Turn explores this concept, and it does it with breathtaking style.

2. Title: Say My Name     Author: Thunderbird587     Rating: Explicit     Words: 199,135     Warnings: none     Summary: Harry witnesses something unexpected in the 8th year boys' showers and starts to see Draco Malfoy in a whole new light. The question is now, what is he going to do about it?A coming of age Drarry tale about letting go of the past and building the future.

    Thoughts: Ngl, folks, this was my favorite until a couple months ago when I found and read Turn for the first time. I have read it and Thunderbird’s other fic in this list several times, and I always enjoy both. If you’re looking for a good 8th Year fic, it doesn’t get any better than this right here.

3. Title: All I Want For Christmas (Is For You To Stop Talking)     Authors: femmequixotic & noeon     Rating: Explicit     Words: 162,907     Warnings: none     Summary:  The Niffler's Garden is the most prestigious wizarding nursery school in England and has been for the last century or more. Harry Potter's boys are both enrolled as pupils at the Garden. When he volunteers to assist with the Yule pageant, he has no idea that he'll be working closely with another parent, Draco Malfoy. Although they haven't seen each other much since their own school days, Harry faults Malfoy for not being a hands-on dad to little Scorpius. Will the intense weeks of preparation fan the fires of enmity or something else entirely?

    Thoughts: I’m not huge on kidfics most of the time, but this is the absolute best semi-epilogue compliant fic I’ve ever read aside from Turn. The style is completely different from that, however. The tone of this is light-hearted and fun, and I laughed a lot when I read it. All the characters have a depth to them that you don’t always get in fanfic. Overall this is just a really superb work. I’d recommend anything by these authors that I’ve read so far, really.

4. Title: Grounds for Divorce     Author: Tepre     Rating: Explicit     Words: 122,217     Warnings: none     Summary: Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

    Thoughts: This starts off just a tad rocky for me as far as pacing goes, but please stick with it through the first couple chapters. And once they get to Luxor you’re in for quite a treat. The language in this is just lovely, and the emotions it evoked in me were heady.

5. Title: The Man Who Lived     Author: sebastianL     Rating: Explicit     Words: 253,826     Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Suicide, Homophobia, Racism, Self-harm, Mental Illness     Summary: Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee.Set in New York twelve years after the war.

    Thoughts: I feel that it is worth mentioning that the suicide is neither of the main characters, though it is someone close to one of them. I believe trigger warnings are more important than possible spoilers, so unlike the author I am telling you it happens in Chapter 22. There isn’t a graphic description of it there or later in the fic, but it is mentioned and impacts the story in a large way. That said, they aren’t kidding when they say the focus is character development, and it is this fic’s greatest strength alongside the way it tackles difficult subject matter. I’ve seldom been more engrossed in a story, and all of the original characters are well-developed. I grew to love them just as much as the ones we know and love from the source material.

6. Title: A Secondary Education     Author: Thunderbird587     Rating: Explicit     Words: 234,528     Warnings: none     Summary:  Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along. As Draco reckons with his ex-wife's infidelity and questions about his own sexuality, he finds himself going to an openly gay Potter for guidance. As their friendship deepens, Draco realizes that there is quite a lot that Potter can teach him. And that he is surprisingly ready to learn.

    Thoughts: As I said, Thunderbird is one of my favorite fic authors ever, so this was an absolute treat. I am not crazy about ex-bashing, but this fic keeps it classy for the most part despite Draco’s ex’s heinous actions in this AU. Harry is basically Draco’s big gay awakening and becomes his teacher of a sort, his introduction to gay sex as it were (an undertaking agreed to by both of them before they begin, I might add). It becomes so much more than that, and I can’t recommend it enough.

7. Title: Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm     Author: SquadOfCats     Rating: Explicit     Words: 104,357     Warnings: Mental Illness, Mention of Past Suicide Attempt     Summary:  Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

    Thoughts: This fic is a lot of fun. It’s a veela!Draco fic, and creature fics aren’t high on my list of favorite tropes. So that should tell you how much I enjoyed this that it made my top ten. I laughed a lot throughout this, but it does touch on sensitive topics as well. The past suicide attempt is mentioned in Chapter 13, but it is not graphic in nature.

8. Title: Taking Chances     Author: gracerene     Rating: Explicit     Words: 135,125     Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape     Summary:  After the war, Draco disappeared and started over in America, vowing never to return to Great Britain and the fraught past he left behind. Unfortunately, when his mates convince him to sign up for an exchange programme for the last year of their Auror Training, Draco learns that he doesn't have much of a choice in the matter.

    Thoughts: The implied non-con is pre-warned by the author in Chapter 12, which I appreciated because I probably wouldn’t have even finished the fic if I’d come across something like that with no heads up. It wasn’t detailed at all, just brief mention that it happened to an OC in a conversation with someone else, and it didn’t detract from my overall enjoyment of the fic. The premise for this was unique and the original characters are all extremely well written. I’ve read several things by this author since, and they’re all fantastic.

9. Title: All Our Secrets Laid Bare     Author: firethesound     Rating: Explicit     Words: 149,549     Warnings: none     Summary:  Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

    Thoughts: Lots of people I’ve talked to about favorites mention this, Turn, and Grounds for Divorce quite often, and I can see why. It’s one of the best Auror Partners fics I’ve read. The one duty Draco gets called upon to perform that he actually enjoys is going through old Death Eater safe houses and taking down all the curses and traps, and that process was really cool to read about. The smut was also incredibly hot in this fic, so it has that going for it, too. 

10. Title: From Ashes       Author: Caedes12       Rating: Explicit       Words: 150,906       Warnings: Suicide (of a secondary character), Graphic Depiction of said suicide/witness to suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-harm, Mentions of Past Suicide Attempts, References to Past Child Abuse, Mentions of Child Abuse in a Case, Homophobia, Biphobia       Summary:  When Draco comes back for eighth year, he starts an unexpected friendship with Hermione Granger. Between his new friendship and his parents kicking him out of the house, Draco's life starts down a new path.

      Thoughts: Okay, this fic has a lot of warnings, but the author posts trigger warnings at the beginning of problematic chapters. I won’t list them all here since they do such a good job of doing so themselves. The summary might lead you to believe that this is an 8th year fic, but it isn’t. It starts there but quickly moves on to later in Draco and Harry’s lives. This fic has a lovely Dramione friendship, which I really dig. It deals with a lot of sensitive subject matter, as you can see, but it’s still one of my favorites and does have a happy ending in spite of everything in the tags.

Podfic rec list

Everything is Drarry

I love podfics. So I’ve made a short list for guys on the discord. Enjoy:)

Podfic list

1. Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi read by Lazulus

5 h 55 min

Summary:

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

2. Slithering by astolat read by Lazulus

2 h 31 min

Summary:

Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.

/any podfic by Lazulus is good actually/

3. Catfished by Saras_girl read by Rindle

3 h 25 min

Summary:

Draco is in deep water, Harry can see straight through him, and that's not even the full scale of the problem.

/I love this especially, Rindle has the most nice voice I’ve heard and it’s very calming/

4. Slammed by faithwood read by sisi_rambles

12 min

Summary:

Potter develops a worrying habit of randomly wall-slamming Draco all over the castle.

/this is ridiculous and, honestly, it’s faithwood so you know it’s amazing/

5. Secrets by Vorabiza read by Opalsong

It’s like 44 hours hahah

Summary:

Beginning with Draco's unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry's summer becomes filled with activity and many secrets. He generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. H/D post-HBP

/it’s unbelievably long but if you like listening to things while you’re doing something it’s gonna be great. I’ve listened to it on a trip so it was amazing./

6. A Different Sort of Sorting by LullabyKnell read by Opalsong

28 min

Summary:

And then the Sorting Hat sends an Avery off to Gryffindor and an Abbott off to Ravenclaw, despite the families’ respective long and prestigious histories in Slytherin and Hufflepuff. What the actual fuck is happening, no one says aloud, as a Bulstrode goes off to Hufflepuff and a Longbottom cousin goes into Slytherin.

/I laughed so hard! Drarry is a bit background but very nice!/

7. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Napkin by saras_girl read by originally reads (originally)

10 min

Summary:

Draco isn't exactly a man of action. Until he is.

/this is Saras_girl. Come on/

Fair warning

Not that I post a ton anyway, but there will probably be a marked upturn in fandom posts in the future, not just poetry. I’ve been on a Harry Potter kick recently, and I read pretty much exclusively slashfic. There will be rec lists and mentions of both Drarry and Snarry pairings, probably reblogs of things I like that catch my fancy. I’m also into Yuri!!! on Ice, so there’ll probably be some of that, too. Cheers.

Weakness of the Flesh

Crimson embargo, but you wouldn’t trade a heartbeat for a pound of flesh from me.

You are cold inside, with the dead aligned, to tell me what to do; rituals you put me through.

And I can’t speak, and you can’t hear the wordless way I beg and plead to be here.

Everyone wants you to let me go when I’m the one clinging to your sleeve, refusing to let you leave.

We can make this work if I could warm you and you could make me breathe and choose to be.