Chapter 9 Is Out!

Chapter 9 is out!

I misquoted in my heavy x medic post, it was chapter 9 that quoted not 8!! Either way, Ten’s a crowd has been updated!

Read it here!

For that merc roadtrip post, I see Scoatcand Demo as the ones asking to stop every 20 min. Granted Demo almost has an excuse

Hah, certainly agree with that headcanon! Engineer ends up screaming out of frustration half way through because multiple times they both stopped them just to say they were kidding. 

Starter headcanons!

We’re beginning with some Engie headcanons!

ENGINEER

Despite his profession, Engie is probably the sweetest team member.

Basically the team mom. Everyone loves when he and Pyro are on cooking duty for the week, because you’re guaranteed to have the best barbecued, baked, fried, or buttered foods in your life.

Dell knew from the beginning that Scout and Spy were related. He was shocked when few other members had noticed the fact, and kept it to himself.

Because of this, fatherly instinct kicked in and he treats Scout like he would a son. Scout may not respect his inventions, but Dell knows he won’t hesitate to come talk to him if he needs a shoulder to lean on.

Tell an incorrect fact anywhere in the base, and Engie will BOLT to correct you. This man has what can only be described as a spidey sense. He could be in his workshop with the door closed, you could whisper, on the other side of the base on another floor, and he would just... know.

The best way to get Engineer to sleep is to use this fact to your advantage. Utter a clearly untrue fact in his room, and watch him come running.

As amiable as Engie is, he’s still a mercenary, and a cold blooded killer at that. He’s painfully aware that he appears a friendly face to all, and is basically a child magnet when disguised as a civilian, since he’s required to ditch the glove and hat, but refuses to take off the goggles.

He’s not opposed to telling stories to the brave little ankle biters, or showing off his robotic arm (albeit shyly). But he tries to throw in a good lesson or two, or spook ‘em off after a while with his whole cyborg shtick.

In the end, Engineer just wants to make sure those kids are inspired to get an education, then take a path that ain’t his own.

Imagining the future; a public statement (or rather questioning) about why 39,000 students across the entirety of the United States, all majoring in some form of engineering, cited their inspiration as varying descriptions of a cyborg man who wanted them to share their knowledge to make the world a better place. Occasionally, Dell is approached at bars or random locations by adults and children alike, sheepishly asking if they’re the cyborg man they met when they were little, or that their big brothers and sisters told stories of. All he gives is a knowing smile and a handshake.

Engineer can’t sit still for very long. He’s always tinkering with something or fidgeting with anything that could be used for scrap or built into something else.

An insomniac, Dell has trouble falling asleep at night thanks to his constant urge to work. He won’t rest until he’s finished with his latest idea, or until he passes out from exhaustion.

The other mercs usually have to carry him to his room after a few nights in a row of this behavior, especially if he had an off day on the field because of it. Even then, there’s no guarantee you won’t find him sitting up in his bed, scribbling down his dream inventions before they fade from memory, muttering equations under his breath.

Sews stuffed animals for pyro and any other merc who wants one. Each mercenary has at least one, even spy and scout, since they were given as gifts a long time ago. Scout would never admit it, but he keeps it under his bed and cuddles it when he has a particularly bad nightmare. Spy has it on display on his shelf, perfectly polished. If he gets drunk and emotional, you’ll probably find a sobbing Frenchman wrapped around a big soft plushie on the floor.

The stuffed animals:

Scout: a little white rabbit with black buttons for eyes, and a tiny fitted headset with a mini hat perched on top. It’s velcro.

Spy: a black cat plushie with blue buttoned eyes and checkered overalls. It has a blue bow tie.

Sniper: A green felt and fabric chameleon. Has a lime -> blue -> red satin texture gradient on its tail and large black beads for eyes.

Soldier: Just. An eagle. Photorealistic eagle texture filled with stuffing. He knows.

Engie: Teddy! Cuddles teddy bear. Big bear. Very soft, very good.

Medic: a recreation of Archimedes with large cotton wings. Has a patch of red on its chest and the buttons used for its eyes are a very subtle cherry color, almost unnoticeable unless you see it in good lighting. When not being held at night, you can occasionally catch a glimpse of the birds cuddled up to it in the day, save for Archimedes himself, who keeps trying to fight it.

Heavy: Were you expecting a bear? Nope! It’s a salmon. Being filled with stuffing of course, but has a soft wooden spine linked together by string. Clatters together softly like chimes sometimes when shaken, but if you do you’re getting socked in the face by heavy. The little wooden framework allows it mobility, so that heavy can comfortably hold it during his nightmares without waking up with stiff shoulders.

Demo: a penguin with an eyepatch. About the height of his forearm with a mix of a sort of softer denim texture for the body and polyester for the spots and patterns. Has a red chiffon bow tie attached to it, and the one eye it has is a big white bead to match the accents. Definitely has a tiny scrumpy bottle. Also definitely not haunted. Certainly, without a doubt.

Pyro: The very first was a balloonicorn! A few others were based off of pyros crayon sketches of pyroland, but there’s just too many to describe! Engie can’t get enough of making the little firebug clap their hands in excitement and endearment after a bad day or stormy weather, having gifted them another soft toy for their collection.

But to pyro, Engie is the best stuffed animal of them all. Passing on the battlefield? Hug. Working in the garage? Hug. Underneath a vehicle performing maintenance? Damn right they’re getting under there somehow! Because Engie is the only one who seems to understand what they see, what they say, how they act.

Hey look buddy,

He’s an engineer.

He solves problems.

I AVENGED MEDIC

IT WAS A BLOODBATH AND MY CHARACTER NEARLY DIED, THANK GOODNESS I REMEMBERED THAT I CAN SWAP OUT SALVE FOR BETTER HEALING ITEMS...

AFTER HE RESPAWNED, THIS IS ALL HE HAD TO SAY ON THE MATTER:

“I’m alive again! That’s good.”

I don’t know, it’s just canned npc dialogue but the nonchalant way he said it is just. thats him! he’d do that.  I’m thinking of making fanart of my little starbound world crossover thingy, or making a headcanon or two. I’ll try not to clutter the blog though, I just figure you’d like to hear the ending of the story :)

Fanart of a beautiful moment :)

(did the mercs ever change appearance save for the splits? if so i can fiX IT i just wasn’t sure)

@talk-to-the-mercs​ has a rlly good story goin on! Might put some posts I make here into context bc i reference it sometimes-

YOOOOO SNIPER welcome back mate! it's been a while, innit? we all missed you something terrible! how're you feeling?

Sniper: [giggling]

Engineer: Whatcha laughin’ about, Snipes?

Sniper: [laughing] Batman.

Engineer: That anesthetic is really hittin’ ya hard, huh?

Sniper: Nah, barely scratched me...I gave ‘im the ol’ one two...

Engineer: When’s this stuff gonna wear off?

Medic: A few hours to a day, depending on zhe pain and functionality of the heart.

Scout: Maybe we can tote him around like on Weekend at Bernie’s.

Demo: People’d talk. Besides, he doesn’t look dead, just drunk. Drunk out of his skull, sure, but still alive.

Scout: Eh, he looks more stoned. Actin’ stoned, too. Yo, Sniper, what’s two plus two?

Sniper: Water.

Scout: [snickering] Yeah, friggin’ high as a kite.

Engineer: Don’t mess with him, Scout, he’s been through enough.

Heavy: Heavy missed you, Sniper.

Sniper: [mumbling] A’course you missed me. I’m the best bloody shot this side of down under...

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

PROFESSIONALS HAVE STANDARDS

Sir please brush your teeth I am begging you please sir, sir ple