An Opinionated Guide To Cybertronian Sweets (commonly Found In Vending Machines)

An Opinionated Guide to Cybertronian Sweets (commonly found in vending machines)

This was written from the POV of a pre-war mech, who’s really into sweets, has both the mouth and proboscis to experience them with, and the strength of opinion to write this guide.

The guide itself was distributed by them to little public sharing libraries, or other nooks and crannies where one might find politically-unpopular writing.

Cybertronian sweets are honestly such a fun concept to explore. The idea of having a mouth and/or proboscis (from battle mask or empurata or other), and how that affects one’s enjoyment of different sweets in regards to taste and texture, or if it’s even consumable by one’s method of consumption. And then the politics and history of certain sweets! Ahh! It’s all so much fun :D

This was originally created for the August 2022 #TFZineJam You can see the full pdf on my itchio page here.

All the ideas and headcanons here are free-to-use. Actually, please do use them - it'd be an honor to see them in other people's art and fic! (if you do, link it here - I’d love to see!)

since he didnt have a faceplate as a human how does jak feel abt it now?? does it only activate in battle or is it like transformers and always there?

He sort of doesn't think about it too terribly much!! He mostly only activates it in battle, but it IS always there, see?

He doesn't typically activate it outside of battles, though he typically has it on when he's just hanging around the arena(because pandora DOES sometimes just observe bot fights without fighting in them, or shows up early to see some other matches before JAK fights) just in case, so he doesn't betray too much human emotion.

HOWEVER- when he was still getting used to his body, there were times where it would snap shut when he was startled or scared, which pandora thought was vERY funny.

"It's Me" (5 Pages): Shockwave is too smitten to realize why Blurr might be scared of him.

To see the rest, please check out my pinned post!

I know they don’t ever interact but I was thinking about Skyfire holding Rodimus like a cat, but like the thought was in your style. Like kitty drift but Roddy, anyways seeing kitty drift has been making my day recently!

JUST. A! LITTLE! GUY!!

may have misinterpreted this- but i loved the idea of a TINYY rodimus loafed in the palm of his giant hand

Don’t fret precious I’m here, Step away from the window Go back to sleep…

got inspired to draw some Shockwave & Blurr bc of the song “Pet” by A Perfect Circle, which i think is a GREAT song for Shockwave

I also recorded the process, which you can watch here:

>>> youtu(.)be/11EnDtxstXk <<<

(have to link it like that, otherwise my post won’t show up in tags at all)

WAIT NO I NEED TO HEAR MORE ABOUT THIS MYSTERIOUS NEW CHARACTER.

LORE DROP PLEASE 🙏

AAA THANK U COMPY

OKAY!! so, First of all, this character does not belong to me, I'm sharing him with my lovely partner @creehd, this whole post is cosigned by him <3

NOW! Meet EXO!

EXO (short for Enhanced Xenomechanical Operative) was a prototype AI driven mass produced assassin bot who was scrapped as a design for having too unruly an AI. He is the only existing copy of his line, and as a result of being scrapped, he hates all organic life forms.

EXO is an absolute cunt. I don't say this with any amount of joking in the slightest, EXO is a self centered prick who thinks he's the most perfect being to have ever have been crafted, and that all organics are flawed and blind for not recognizing that, and that it is now his goal to prove that he is the most exceptional AI to ever exist.

How is he going to prove that? why by infiltrating the ranks of lesser AI and crushing every opponent in his path of course! YES EXO is also breaking the rules of the ai fighting rings, though he plays at being non sentient much better than JAK, mostly because his personality is mostly hate and he's a complete stick in the mud.

EXO understands the gravity of being caught as a sentient ai in these rings, and doesnt care, because all rules dictated by organics are merely roadblocks in the way of higher beings(him), though he does follow them otherwise to keep his cover from being blown.

THAT IS- he doesn't care until he clocks JAK (incorrectly) as being an AI of a similar complexity to him, and then gets COMPLETELY FUCKING FURIOUS because this is HIS stomping ground for crushing the weak and not only is JAK stepping on his turf, he's stepping on his turf and is becoming more popular than him. (not that popularity matters at all no way EXO doesn't crave validation at all nuh uh)

and so within lITERAL HOURS of knowing JAK and 'cracking his secret' EXO grows a hate boner for JAK so massive that it diverts his plan of 'being the best' to a plan of being 'better than JAK in every conceivable aspect to show how much BETTER I am than him.'

AND THUS begins the most one sided rivalry to ever exist in the entire history of the world: EXO wants JAK's head on a pike, JAK thinks EXO is a freak and needs to calm the fuck down, antics ensue because EXO can't get JAK expunged from the league without blowing his own cover,,, its all very goofy despite the bloodsport.

and yes, before anyone asks, cree has given permission, AND encouragement for EXO to be lusted after