Mutual Here You Are Very Silly And I Like Talking To You A Lot :]

mutual here you are very silly and i like talking to you a lot :]

Y’know what’s funny? I was literally drafting a random vent post begging people to tell me if they liked me, so this was fairly well timed.

(Not that I’d expect you guys to follow vent posts btw /gen /lh)

I hate how I’m like a bomb. When I get scared I cause harm to everyone around me, damage I can’t fix. I can’t handle people comforting me because people trying to diffuse a bomb puts them at risk. They’re right next to the bomb and will die first when it goes off. I don’t want to be a bomb. I want to have people close to me and I can’t.

I hate myself I hate you I hate everything I hate my blood I hate my skin I hate the air I hate feeling I hate being able to feel the air like it’s physical I hate your voice I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you fucking please kill me kill me please I’m a wounded fucking animal somebody needs to shoot me put me down please please fucking kill me please please

I’m scared nobody will be able to help me I’m scared I’m sorry that I’m saying I’m scared because it isn’t any of you guys jobs or even something you should worry about but I don’t know if I’m going to be okay and I just need to express my fear because I’m not okay I will not be okay I will not be okay I will not be okay please

fuck fuck fuckity fuck I can’t fucking do this it’s fucking over I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do anything at school right now in this room I need to leave I need to hide somewhere I need to disappear I need to fucking help help help help help help help help please I’m sorry I’m sorry for asking it’s okay I’m sorry nevermind I need help please if you can please if you want