As An Autistic Jew, Passover Is Objectively The Best Holiday Because Its A Dinner Party With A Script

as an autistic jew, passover is objectively the best holiday because it’s a dinner party with a script that everyone has to follow

As a precursor I’d like to say that if you feel my post is talking over you, just tell me and I’ll have no problem deleting it.

As an Indian (from India not Indigenous) trans man, I relate heavily to the experience of having my masculinity stripped, but for different reasons. Indian men are generally viewed as weak, and maybe my submissive in a sense. They are thought to have strange accents, can’t speak in English properly, are not fit and generally weak. One time somebody told me (and they totally believed it) that “Indian men were at the bottom of the sexual food chain, no one likes them”. They fold their hands when White people come into their country and house, and are there to take the profanities of their (White) boss.

But! On the flip side, Indian men are actually also hyper masculine rapists. They can’t hide their lecherous eyes from your innocent daughters, who knows if she’ll be safe with an Indian man? Don’t you know how racist they are? They’ll call you the n-word as soon as they meet you! They’re scammers and cheaters, hide your purse from them so they don’t pickpocket you, and don’t forget how all call scams are actually Indian! Queer Indian Men? Not fucking possible, didn’t you know that Indian men are backwards and not progressive in their thinking at all, they could never be something as cool as being queer!!! In fact I think all Indian men should die because of how dangerous they are, Free the Indian Woman (who are so sexy and beautiful by the way)

The above portion is making fun of of what I’ve heard and seen in my life. I believe Indian men have the experiences of having their masculinity deconstructed were they are generally submissive and weak to outer forces, and then reconstructed to seem like inhuman monster where women are put in danger just by having a Desi man near her. I know this because I have experienced many (if not all of these things listed above) and have seen fellow Desi men experience it too. And because of how much people (of all political aisles let’s by honest) seem to hate Indians, and going even more specifically, Indian men, many simply refuse to acknowledge it.

I thought that the main similarity between your post and mine is that East Asian men are stripped of their masculinity due to forced feminization, Indian (and South Asian) men also experience this uprooting of their identity but in a different form. I also believe that Indian men have to work hard to be seen as masculine in enough, but not so much that they end up being seen as a danger. It ends up being a delicate line to dangle.

I am going to get so much fucking hate for this but as an ethnically East Asian (Chinese, but born in and lives in the US) trans man, I feel like my ethnicity and gender intersect in two different ways that no one either cares about or knows about

Forced feminization

Hyperinvisibility

In detail:

Forced feminization

From anime characters to K-pop idols, so many East Asian men seem to be regarded as feminine either for their dress or mannerisms with absolutely no consideration of how different cultures might display masculinity. Granted, I've been guilty of this too in the past, due to being born and raised in a western country, but I'm trying to be better about it. Like. Asian guys are not your "shy uwu Kpop idols" or "cute gay coded anime characters". Also: the "small Asian dick" jokes. Goddamn.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain how this goes double for Asian trans men like me who want to present as masculine in a gender conforming way. But since this is Tumblr dot fucking com, I'm gonna have to. I feel like I have to work twice as hard to be seen as masculine as anyone who isn't Asian and/or is a cis guy because of not only the paragraph above but because of the parts I was born with. Seriously I did not spend years escaping femininity just to have randos insist I stay with it from multiple angles.

Hyperinvisibility

This is probably where people are going to come into my notes and inbox with pitchforks telling me shit like "kys" or throwing slurs but you know what. Fuck it.

EDIT: I am now aware that BIPOC stands for "black, indigenous, and people of color", not "black and indigenous people of color", so I have removed my previous statements as they were inaccurate.

That being said, it still stands that I have seen very few people talk about the racism Asian people face, and that we are treated as "white lite" in many spaces.

As for the transmasc angle: transandrophobia does exist. We are being killed. We are being raped. We are being forcibly impregnated and detransitioned. And nobody is giving a fuck. We aren't even acknowledged as trans men, we're labeled in statistics as "women". And when we try to talk about it we're called either "confused little girls" or "(trans)misogynistic MRAs".

TLDR: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU PEOPLE THAT HYPERINVISIBILITY IS NOT A PRIVILEGE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE IT THROUGH BOTH YOUR RACE AND GENDER

gilbert baker designed his flag with the express purpose of it including every single queer person. baker was so dedicated to making sure his flag was inclusive that he added another stripe in 2017, lavender, to represent diversity. the concept that it’s for white gay men came around later and needs to be changed.

can we please go back to associating the original flag, and ideally the modern rainbow flag, with inherent inclusion of every single queer person? instead of deciding that the original wasn’t good enough? personalized flags are important for representing those who have typically been excluded from the queer community, but reclaiming the original flag as a symbol of inclusion is important too.

Not disagreeing with the post or anything, but to my knowledge “truther” is associated with antisemitic conspiracy theories. At least that’s what I’ve read and heard many times. Just for future reference.

kind of seems like the main reason people dislike TME/TMA is because they don’t think transmascs have privilege over transfems (which. we do). kinda funny to hear all these people be like “listen to trans people when they talk about their experiences with oppression” because they mean “listen to transmascs when we say we experience transmisogyny” and not “listen to transfems when they say we don’t understand the level of transmisogyny they face their entire life”

You’re correct that people take issue with the idea transmascs have privilege over transfems, but the main reason people dislike tme/tma in my experience is that it’s an inaccurate binary. People have more complex experiences with transmisogyny than it covers. An intersex person afab who grows facial hair may not be the intended target of transmisogyny but most certainly isn’t exempt either. Nobody is really fully exempt from any system of oppression, so it’s just not accurate. I don’t have a problem with the term tma to describe people who experience abundant transmisogyny, it’s tme I take issue with because yeah, it does talk over other people (not just transmascs, many people including cis perisex and intersex folks) about their real lived experiences with transmisogyny. And it is used for exactly what you’re acknowledging here: to say that everyone “tme” has privilege over everyone “tma.” That’s not how it works. Transmisogyny is awful but so are exorsexism and transandrophobia, from which binary trans women are exactly as exempt as non-transfems are from transmisogyny. Trans people do not have gendered privilege over each other. That is why so many people take issue with tma being used to say that transfems have it the worst of all queer people. Whatever happened to not engaging in oppression olympics? Why are we measuring privilege not based on the reality we see (transmascs having similar negative outcomes to transfems in many areas while having unique issues in other regards) but on trying to apply cis man & woman dynamics to the complex trans community?

Yes that is true, but like most conspiracy theories, it usually ends with people blaming “a secret group of Jews” or simply a secret group of ( for example the Illuminati) controlling the world. When someone calls another “transandrophobia truther” they’re bringing in antisemitic connotations to the conversation.

kind of seems like the main reason people dislike TME/TMA is because they don’t think transmascs have privilege over transfems (which. we do). kinda funny to hear all these people be like “listen to trans people when they talk about their experiences with oppression” because they mean “listen to transmascs when we say we experience transmisogyny” and not “listen to transfems when they say we don’t understand the level of transmisogyny they face their entire life”

You’re correct that people take issue with the idea transmascs have privilege over transfems, but the main reason people dislike tme/tma in my experience is that it’s an inaccurate binary. People have more complex experiences with transmisogyny than it covers. An intersex person afab who grows facial hair may not be the intended target of transmisogyny but most certainly isn’t exempt either. Nobody is really fully exempt from any system of oppression, so it’s just not accurate. I don’t have a problem with the term tma to describe people who experience abundant transmisogyny, it’s tme I take issue with because yeah, it does talk over other people (not just transmascs, many people including cis perisex and intersex folks) about their real lived experiences with transmisogyny. And it is used for exactly what you’re acknowledging here: to say that everyone “tme” has privilege over everyone “tma.” That’s not how it works. Transmisogyny is awful but so are exorsexism and transandrophobia, from which binary trans women are exactly as exempt as non-transfems are from transmisogyny. Trans people do not have gendered privilege over each other. That is why so many people take issue with tma being used to say that transfems have it the worst of all queer people. Whatever happened to not engaging in oppression olympics? Why are we measuring privilege not based on the reality we see (transmascs having similar negative outcomes to transfems in many areas while having unique issues in other regards) but on trying to apply cis man & woman dynamics to the complex trans community?

Radio Romance by Mashrou' Leila (in Arabic)

Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho by Ayushmann Khurrana and Tanishk-Vayu (in Hindi)

i get sad sometimes because i cant find any queer male love songs but it seems like lesbians have so many. do you have any recommendations?

Some of my favs:

Habibi by Joe Daccache (bonus: bilingual lyrics!)

Make It Last by Joe Daccache

C'mon Baby, Cry by Orville Peck

Whine n Cry by Keiynan Lonsdale

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by Pansy Division

God in Jeans by Ryan Beatty

Pipe Dream by Tobre & RYLO (bonus: Tobre is transmasc!)

Valentino by Olly Alexander & MNEK

Tennessee by Kevin Abstract & Lil Nas X

Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna (bonus: T4T!)

Black Travolta by Doug Locke

Trojans by Doug Locke

Ice Cream by MIKA

also I Wanna Boi by PWR BTTM