Reasons To Kill Caesar (in Order Of Importance):

reasons to kill caesar (in order of importance):

he slept with my mother

hes a dictator

Cassius doesn't like him.

Discworld is so delightful because you get lines like "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve" except it's spoken by a 7 foot tall sentient clay statue named Pump 19 and directed to a man whose name is Moist von Lipwig

thinking about the moment brutus' silky sharp knife penetrated ceasar's tender skin for the first time... the tears in the corners of his eyes glistening in the ravenous sunlight, his plump peachy lips in awe as brutus places a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before driving the knife into his body again

everybody loves stabbing as a sign of homoerotic longing. but when I, Brutus,

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was