Worth Noting My Budget Is Basically Nothing.

worth noting my budget is basically nothing.

I figure the “queerest platform on the internet” might have some tips so…

what are some femme clothing basics/essentials for a confused trans woman ?

Ticking time

2 hours before I’m no longer alone

So maybe I should act now

You said I shouldn’t be alone

(You’re right) 

Will it come to pass:

My last meal a bowl of plain rice

Our last hug shared at the crossing,

At the tree stump,

At the swing ? 

Ideal hands and heavy minds

I wish I could hold you one last time

(I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you)

But this distance will make it easier

Not deliberately putting space

Just drifting with the currents in my mind

perfect descriptions

Apathetic is such a poignant word 

It rolls lazily off the tongue 

The “ah” is forced out

Followed reluctantly

By the other syllables

Perfectly encompassing 

The weight such an emotion brings 

The desire to reach out to heal

Is crushed by the weight of uncaring

So much easier to step off

Than to pick up the phone

So much easier to use the knife

Than to send a message

Wholly apathetic

You will be too raw for some. You will be too loud, too big, too fierce, too quiet, too deep. These are not your people.

S.C. Lourie

In person

Seems the safest way to interact

Texting means a degree of separation

That’s felt all the more keenly now

The miles stretch out like patchwork nerves

Raw distance bloody with words unsaid

I long for the day

That I can call you all home

Either as one house or separate ones

Scared I’ll never see that day

Longing to never see the sunrise

Tonight I’ll hold on

Held safe by promises of another

Another hug

Another joke

Another reason

not dying btw, just… disappearing

no more

no more talking

no more texting

no more late night calls

no more six hour conversations

it’s been a fun time

but I love you all too much

to weigh you down