90 posts
Theexpectantpatronus - Whimsical Me - Tumblr Blog
@kylorenvevo D&D ideas for your next campaign?
The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".
So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?
But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.
We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?
The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?
It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.
The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?
Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.
Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-
"What do you want?"
"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."
"...Your cousin?"
"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."
"Oh No-"
"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"
"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"
"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"
Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.
LEAF SHEEP
Leaf Sheep Sea Slug (Costasiella kuroshimae)
✧˖° Gifs made by me! Please credit if used! °˖✧
(Video source)
Pink hair Jimin just hits different.
jimin with pink hair for anon ♡
And that is why NFTs are stupid and selling NFTs is for stupid people….I’m looking at you HYBE, you already take my money for ridiculous tangible shit, AND NOW YOU WANNA TRY AND SELL ME NFTs WRAPPED IN A PRETTY BTS PACKAGE? I WON’T DO IT, no matter how pretty they look or how thirsty I am! 😤
WTF is an NTF? No matter how many times I’ve had it explained to me, it still makes no sense. The best I can figure that it’s a form of cryptocurrency with personalized artwork made on a really environmentally unfriendly material being sold for ridiculous prices just so suckers can get unique furry artz
What in the magic?
jfc, HE CHOOSES VIOLENCE EVERY DAY
🖤
ONWARD TO 500K!
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
All hail the magic bagel!
Aww, every time I see this scene, I just want to put a giant pile of wet paper towel next to him 😅
COUNTDOWN TO BTS IN THE SOOP S2 ❀ 11 DAYS TO GO!
Yoongi_cutting_onions.gif (EP.3) for @loversmore
[cr. @moonseokjinn]
Sooo, after watching Squid Game, I don’t think I’m going to be able to look at another Run BTS episode the same way again.
I would watch this, please start filming ASAP
Writing period dramas in the discord, lads
HOLY FUCK BUCKETS, IT’S ON MY DASH!
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
TIL I am also a trash panda. Everything makes so much sense now.
face reveal! (sorta)
This is cursed sacred audio.
He is
SO.
FUCKING.
pretty.
hoseok + photoshoots (for @v-hobi) (cr. qdeoks)
I just can’t even with this man anymore, every day he TESTS ME.
J-HOPE Photobooth
I.
CAN’T.
WAIT!!!!
TEASER: Kim Seokjin and the Mean Omega
Pairing: Nerd Alpha Kim Seokjin x Popular Omega Reader
Genre: A/B/O • Enemies to Lovers • (Sorta) College AU • Best Friend's Brother AU (Who is surprised? No one?)
Teaser Word Count: 3.6K
Teaser Warnings: A/B/O sexual dynamics • suggestive content
Rating: Explicit (18+) (Teaser is PG-13)
Summary: In the modern world, alphas are almost unheard of so why even bother learning about them? After all, as a spoiled (but reasonably kind-hearted) omega who is used to getting whatever she wants, you have better things to do. However, when unexpected circumstances throw you in the path of (extremely) nerdy and (probably?) shy Kim Seokjin, you're shocked to discover that he won't be wrapped around your little finger as easily as all the rest. Bringing that infuriating geek to his knees quickly becomes your personal mission in life... But it turns out that Kim Seokjin is not what he appears to be and the mean omega who eats beta boys for breakfast is about to get way more than she bargained for...
Author’s Note: This story would not be here without the love, support and friendship of my incredible support system. You talk with me, you laugh with me, you listen when I’m crying, and you read my chaotic drafts when I am ready to pull my hair out of my head in frustration. I love you all. @ppersonna @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen @lemonjoonah. ALSO thank you to each and every one of you who encouraged me to post this story. This fic is dedicated to all of you as a token of my love and appreciation. Your support keeps me writing. Never doubt that for a second.
“...due to discriminatory anti-alpha policies in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, alphas were nearly eliminated from the general population…”
You heaved a weary sigh and rolled your shoulders—stretching the buttons of your high-end Oxford shirt to their limit. The beta sophomore to your right whined audibly and you smirked.
“...despite efforts to restore the genetic balance of designations, alphas currently comprise less than one percent of the population…”
Your back arched slightly as you crossed your legs, letting the absurdly short hem of your skirt ride up even higher. The poor boy you were tormenting shifted miserably in his seat.
How was he supposed to focus on a Human Biology and Designation Studies lecture when the living breathing embodiment of every sweaty undergrad’s fantasies was twisting her fingers in her hair and wrapping her pretty pink tongue around a strawberry lollipop right there in the middle of class?
“...unlike betas and omegas, alphas possess enhanced strength and the ability to compel other designations with their voice. Unmated alphas especially were often baselessly feared and distrusted...”
You knew exactly how you affected boys like him. You were a shameless tease who relished their attention and the power it brought you. Who needed drugs when driving a man mad with desire was a rush more potent than any high?
“...and that’s all for today so please read pages 450-466 in the text over break and remember to turn in your essay on scent and consent in intimacy—”
That poor sophomore looked like he had finally worked up the courage to speak to you, but you were already out the door and tearing down the hall toward your beautiful (and entirely platonic) counterpart, Kim Taehyung.
“Do you think Professor Moore is unaware that class is over at 3:25 or is he just torturing us for science?”
Taehyung shrugged, falling into step beside you with practiced ease.
“I mean I would torture you for free so it’s hard to say.”
The corner of your mouth quirked up at his characteristic dry humor, but the irritation at being held in that sweltering lecture hall for an extra ten minutes had frayed your temper.
“It’s the last class before spring break, I’m sure he was on some sort of twisted power trip.” You dug around in your purse for some chapstick, ignoring Tae’s amused snorting, “Alphas barely exist anymore and none of us are likely to meet one. Why bother learning what they can do?”
Taehyung tilted his head in amusement.
“You might be surprised.”
The final party before the beginning of spring break was always a laid back affair.
Many people had already caught planes to their various destinations, but your flight was scheduled for early tomorrow morning—leaving you with some time to kill.
Taehyung pressed his newest experimental concoction into your hand within minutes of entering the house (a surprisingly neat bachelor pad owned by two seniors, Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi) and then darted back to the kitchen to craft more questionable alcohol potions like a deranged party warlock.
You had just found a comfortable place on the couch and were contemplating whether sampling your best friend’s mad scientist elixir would be worth the probable damage to your body when—
“H-Hello...”
It was that sophomore from your Designations Studies class. What was his name again? Jungwoo? Jinwook?
“Jungkook,” you smiled, delighted to have remembered before it became awkward. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
You motioned to the empty cushion next to you and the man in question scrambled over like he’d won the lottery.
“I—I know we don’t know each other well, but I noticed you were absent during Professor Moore’s lecture on intimacy and scent consent so I—” he blushed deeply, “I wrote the essay for you—and I brought a copy on my flash drive if-if you want it.”
Your heart melted immediately.
“Oh my gosh Jungkook, that is so sweet of you!”
Your gaze darted over his muscular form and thick brown curls.
Sweet indeed.
“I don’t want to miss out on the learning though,” you pouted, placing a hand on his tattooed bicep. “Can you explain it to me?”
Jungkook nodded vigorously even as his wide eyes fell to where your fingers were sliding slowly over his chest.
Scent consent was a pretty basic and universally known concept, but you really were touched by the handsome sophomore's consideration.
Why not give him (and yourself) a little reward?
“Um so basically if two people are involved in...intimate activities—”
You leaned forward to nip his ear lightly and he whimpered.
“Like this?” you asked innocently.
“Y-Yes. Like that.” He gulped. “In an intimate situation consent or refusal can be smelled. The scent of refusal or reluctance in intimacy is strong, unmistakable, and has a high chemical potency.”
“Is that so?” you drawled, sliding over onto his lap. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back into his head and you bit back a grin.
He was adorable.
“Uh-huh—it—oh my gawd,” (you were nibbling on his ear again) “it can immediately block sexual arousal and performance in the other partner. Meaning, if consent is not present, then it becomes difficult or—ahh” (his voice began to waver under your continued attention) “—or even impossible to continue with intimate acts.”
Your hand slid up to his cheek, bringing him closer till your lips were almost touching.
“Then what does it mean if I’m still so turned on right now?”
“It means,” Jungkook shuddered—nearly delirious with your scent, “that I really really want you.”
Across the room, Park Jimin chuckled as he watched you seduce his enthusiastic friend.
Jeon Jungkook was such a sweet kid.
Hopefully he wouldn’t get too attached.
“Wow... Some people are genuinely born blessed I suppose.”
Jimin turned to see Jung Hoseok eyeing the dimly lit corner where you and the eager young sophomore were exploring each other.
It was a rather...provocative spectacle. Not quite raunchy (you weren’t truly an exhibitionist)—just insanely sexy.
Jimin’s gaze lingered on the smooth curve of your thigh where Jeon Jungkook was currently holding on for dear life.
Lucky bastard.
“Ah you know how she is,” he sighed. “That boy isn’t going to get any farther than anyone else.”
It was relatively common knowledge that you liked to mess around but rarely—if ever— fully hooked up with anyone.
Jimin asked you about it once during a drunken game of truth or dare and you had just shrugged, mumbling something along the lines of avoiding STDs (which—to be fair—was at least part of your motivation), but the truth was a little more complicated than that.
In terms of experience, you weren’t a virgin, but... you hadn’t actually had sex in years.
You loved the chase, the foreplay, the build-up—the game of cat-and-mouse between two people who were attracted to one another.
But the final consummation was always so…
Wildly unfulfilling.
Every encounter left you frustrated. Empty.
Grumpy—even.
So you stopped bothering with it all together. (That was what sex toys were for after all.)
At the end of the day you were perfectly content being labeled a tease—it meant that people tended to know what they were (or rather weren’t) getting into when they rolled the dice with you.
Besides…it hadn’t even put a dent in your throng of admirers.
You were sunny, spoiled, indulgent, almost universally adored—
And you loved every minute of it.
“You know…” Hoseok took a long sip of his drink. “I always thought she would end up with Taehyung, but it’s been three years.”
Like you, Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat and it was only natural that two beautiful and absurdly privileged people would gravitate to one another. You met at a freshman pledge party and had been an inseparable (and formidable) dynamic duo ever since.
The undisputed king and queen of campus.
Yes—maybe the two of you were a little self-absorbed at times, but it was hardly your fault that people tended to instinctively cater to the force of your combined looks, wealth, and charisma.
And it didn’t hurt that neither of you were ever intentionally cruel or unkind.
Just... habitually thoughtless.
(Though not when it came to each other. If anything your friendship was one area where you were both a little more human.)
Jimin shook his head.
“Nah that’s never gonna happen.” He tapped his nose. “They’re scent-crossed.”
Hoseok’s eyes widened.
“Really?”
Scent-crossed pairs didn’t smell sexually attractive to each other.
Like. At all.
No matter how physically or visually appealing an individual might be, it would be near impossible to form a sexual or romantic attachment to them if you were scent-crossed. Alphas, betas, and omegas were all subject to their noses first and foremost in the realm of attraction.
You and Taehyung smelled like comfort and home to one another...
But you were more turned on by a crisp cup of apple juice than you were his scent and the feeling was quite mutual.
He might as well have been your actual brother.
“That explains so much.” Hoseok snorted as he watched a drunken Taehyung do a flying leap on top of both you and Jungkook.
“Why is sunlight so offensive?” you croaked, dragging yourself and your luggage toward the boarding ramp next to an equally miserable Taehyung.
“The next time I book a flight before 9 AM, please shoot me,” he grunted.
Your parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with a month-long European cruise so your best friend had graciously invited you to spend two glorious weeks of spring vacation at his family estate.
The invitation had actually come as somewhat of a surprise because—for all your closeness—Taehyung was uncharacteristically tight-lipped about his family.
Not that he was deliberately withholding information per se… It was just that he never really brought them up beyond an occasional passing comment.
The one time you did ask him about them directly he sighed and said—
“We’re very close, but… I suppose we’ve just gotten used to being very private.”
There was clearly more to the story, but you were confident that Tae would share it if and when he was ready.
“My parents are in Seoul opening a new branch of the company. They took my little sister with them and my older brother has his own house so it will be just us.” He snuggled deeper into the first class seat directly next to yours. “We’ll hang out by the pool and chill during the day, then hit up some of the new clubs or whatever at night.”
“So… No one from your family will be there?”
Perhaps the invitation was not so surprising after all.
“Nope. Just you and me and thirty acres of ocean front property.”
You grinned.
“Perfect.”
“Whose room is that?”
The two of you were lugging your bags down the main hall of Taehyung’s expansive mansion when a strange hint of...something caught you right by the nose.
Your friend turned to find you frozen and staring curiously at a familiar door near the balcony.
His eyes widened, but you were too preoccupied to notice his momentary concern.
“That’s just Jin’s room.”
A firm hand wrapped around your wrist and dragged you away, but your eyes stayed glued to the source of the mysterious scent until you were around the corner and out of sight.
Your suite for the next two weeks was right across the hall from Taehyung’s. There was a whirlpool, a full bath, a balcony, and an ocean view that would rival the cover spread of any travel magazine.
Tae headed for the shower (to ‘wash the airplane off’) immediately after showing you the room and you were thinking of doing the same except…
Your mind kept going back to that door and the hint of scent you detected.
There was something… different about it.
It was faint—and far from fresh (which made sense considering that one of the few things you did know about Kim Seokjin was that he hadn’t lived in this house for years).
But still…
The need to smell it again pressed insistently at the back of your mind.
Suddenly the sound of Taehyung singing raunchy lyrics in the shower carried over through the walls and you found your feet moving almost of their own accord.
What Tae doesn’t know won’t hurt him, you rationalized, making your way down the hall toward Jin’s door. Besides—it’s not as if I’m going to steal anything…
You just needed to find that scent again.
By the time your fingers closed over the knob every one of your nerves was strangely—acutely—alert but nothing could have prepared you for what was waiting behind the door.
Oh. My. Gosh.
“What a colossal nerd.”
The room was covered floor to ceiling in Nintendo memorabilia.
Bright primary colors assaulted your eyes from all directions in the form of action figures, posters, pillows, and every other conceivable merch variety known to man.
In the center of the suite stood a large king-sized bed covered in a custom black couture toile-style Mario-verse bed set (that looked every bit as expensive as it was geeky) and a mountain of high quality Nintendo character plush toys.
Everything was simultaneously luxe and nostalgic—a rare combination of sophisticated aesthetic balance and childlike indulgence.
And the scent was there.
It was faint and covered under layers of cleaner and air fresheners, but still lingering just below the surface—too weak for you to get a really good whiff, yet potent enough to torment you.
You moved forward unconsciously toward the strongest source of the hypnotic smell—the strangely inviting expanse of Kim Seokjin’s mattress.
Suddenly the urge to climb—no crawl—across the bed itself and roll around in it like a kitten in catnip gripped you out of nowhere.
“What the hell?” you muttered, rubbing absently over the mating gland at the base of your neck.
Something very odd was going on with your body.
Your restless gaze zeroed in on one of the stuffed toys piled atop his pillows. It was a cute little mushroom man your brain recognized as a Mario character named ‘Toad’.
Take it.
Your mouth dropped open in shock.
You need it.
“Am I going insane?” you wondered aloud.
You have to take it.
Muscles in your hand began to twitch involuntarily. You bit your lip.
Bring it back with you.
Several minutes later a freshly washed Taehyung wandered over to your room and found you sitting perfectly still on your bed while staring off into space.
His head tilted in curious concern.
“Everything ok?”
You started a bit at the sound of his voice, but recovered quickly.
“Never better!” you chirped—almost too brightly. “Let’s go get some dinner, I’m starving.”
Then you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall toward the kitchen—shutting the door before he could catch a glimpse of his brother’s stuffed Toad doll stashed underneath your pillow
“...a critical water main rupture in the city’s New Market district early this morning has forced several residents out of their homes as flood water swelled up to nearly two feet. The governor declared a state of emergency and ordered hotels around the city to accommodate the displaced citizens. Crews are still clearing the water and assessing damages. We expect—
“Hey!” you shouted through a mouthful of cereal, after Your best friend switched off the television, “I was watching that!”
“And what you should be doing is getting ready for the pool.” Tae snatched your cereal bowl and dragged you by your shirt collar toward the stairs. “It is the first morning of our vacation. I’m not trying to waste any time. Now go.” He shoved you forward, smacking your ass for good measure.
You swatted back at him half-heartedly as jogged back up to the room where you enjoyed a surprisingly restful sleep last night.
Kim Seokjin’s door glared at you accusingly as you shuffled past—unable to let you forget that you had kidnapped it’s little mushroom man in an unexplained fit of kleptomania, but that was a problem for your future self.
The you of right now was going to zen out in the Kim family's premium glass-enclosed indoor pool (it was still a little chilly for the outdoor pool) with her best friend and bask in the simple joys of good company and no responsibility.
...Or not.
A few minutes later you bounced into the living room wearing a simple black tankini with a cute floral cover only to find Taehyung on the phone with his head in his hands.
“Yes, sir. I understand… I...I know this is my responsibility...”
That didn’t sound good.
After a few more tense moments, Tae hung up and collapsed backward into the couch with a heavy sigh.
“That water main break you heard about on TV this morning was the last straw between the province and its current contractor. They called an emergency meeting for new bids.”
Your heart dropped as you sank down beside him.
“Your dad wants you to go...doesn’t he.”
Taehyung nodded miserably.
“He can’t leave the Seoul opening on such short notice and managing government construction contracts is part of what I’ve been training for. This could be huge for our company.”
“Well...why doesn’t your brother go?”
“Jin is the brains behind most of our patented gaming and tech innovations. He wouldn’t even know where to begin with this sort of thing. Besides,” his lips quirked up in a rueful grin, “my brother doesn’t have the patience to stroke entitled geriatric egos for hours on end—which is likely what I’m going to have to do.”
The two of you headed back to Taehyung’s room where you helped him pack some suits and toiletries for his trip.
Naturally you were disappointed but...this was a great opportunity for your best friend to prove himself in his chosen field and you both knew it. In fact, he was already starting to brighten a bit.
“The meeting is about a hundred miles north of here. My dad’s secretary already handled the flight and hotel room.” His eyes darted around the suite to see if he was forgetting anything.
It was clear he was nervous, though you were sure he didn’t need to be. Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat, but he was also talented and deeply passionate about his family’s company.
Someday this would be the norm. The two of you were stealing time in college, determined to live a little before the expectations of your powerful families transferred fully onto your shoulders.
It was becoming more and more clear, however, that your carefree time was slowly running out.
Mother had already spoken to you about potential marriage alliances and your father expected you to intern with his Vice President this summer just as your elder sister had...
Taehyung’s voice suddenly interrupted your bittersweet introspection and you couldn’t help but smile at how grown-up he looked in his suit and briefcase ensemble.
Everything was going to change, but not quite yet.
“They estimate negotiations should take around a week or so…” He walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. “There should still be some vacation left for us when I get back.”
“Hurry back then,” you mumbled grumpily into his chest and he chuckled.
“I will.”
Taehyung had been gone for less than twenty minutes when you decided that the best use of your time would be to eat more snacks.
The last thing you expected when you skipped merrily into the kitchen was to find it occupied by a shaggy-haired homeless man in glasses.
Your first instinct was to scream which caused the homeless man to drop the apple he was biting right onto the floor where it rolled around for a small eternity before coming to rest at his ankles.
Your second instinct was to grab a butcher’s cleaver from the nearby knife block and wave it chaotically at the intruder while shouting something along the lines of—
“You’ve made a huge mistake! My boyfriend is the biggest, meanest mafia boss in Seoul! Leave now and he might let you live!”
The homeless man continued to stare at you with a mixture of confusion and shock, but made no move to run away in terror like you were hoping.
So you tried again.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?! The last man who touched me drinks his steak through a straw now! Do the smart thing and leave before my boyfriend comes down those stairs and it’s too late!”
Infuriatingly, the homeless man was still not fleeing for his life and frankly you were starting to get frustrated. You drew in a deep cleansing breath and were prepared to issue another grandiose threat when he finally spoke.
“I’m sorry, miss. I... think there’s been some sort of mistake. Who is your boyfriend?”
There was no rational explanation for what came out of your mouth next, but it rolled off your tongue so smoothly and you didn’t even flinch.
“Kim Seokjin.”
For the first time in your entire exchange, the intruder looked truly alarmed.
Now that’s more like it.
“You’ve heard of him I see. He’s a dangerous man and my body belongs to him.” You slammed the cleaver down onto the countertop with a (hopefully) menacing slash. “Kim Seokjin doesn’t like when other men put their hands on what belongs to him.”
There was a long, unpardonably tense moment of silence…Then the stranger slowly reached forward and picked up a mobile phone from the table in front of him.
His eyes remained locked with yours as he pressed a quick series of buttons, brought the phone to his ear, waited a few seconds and said—
“Taehyung… Would you mind telling me why there is a half-naked, knife-wielding omega in our kitchen claiming to be my girlfriend?”
Hello! Please comment on this post if you would like to be added to the taglist!
You guys were all so wonderful, and encouraging, and excited that I literally got this teaser out in three days! If you like what you read so far, please let me know! I cannot put into words how meaningful and valuable feedback is to me. I truly treasure it! It fuels my creativity and keeps me writing. I would love to hear from you!
Someone write this fanfic, right now. I’m looking at you, Ana @xjoonchildx
THE NOISE I MADE WHEN THIS FLASHED ACROSS MY SCREEN
If this Hoseok ever pops up on my dash and I don’t reblog, please assume I’m dead.
if we reach up as the waters climb in us the hardest parts of your silence
Oh my god. My heart. Ana, MY FREAKING HEART.
Ok, the smut was hot. Because Ana wrote it and she writes hot smut. And also, it’s Hobi and Hobi is also...ridiculously fucking hot. This was hardcore soft Hobi, and I just loved it and GOD I WISH I HAD A DEVOTED ADORABLE HOBI TO BUY US A BEACH HOUSE HOME WHO KNEW EXACTLY HOW TO MAKE ME FALL APART, where is he?
In all seriousness, I just loved this fic. Sometimes I struggle with established relationship fics because the hard work to establish a relationship has been done and we didn’t see it and it’s beautiful and sweet, but sometimes it’s the will they/won’t they, idiots to lovers angst that hooks us in and gets us invested and, without that, sometimes it’s hard to feel a connection with the couple and their story, y’know. But this was just so wonderfully written, I was hooked in. I loved that this story was from Hobi’s point of view and I loved the way how the descriptive prose would tie in qualities of the reader that Hobi loved; his love for her just shone through the whole fic and it was soft and lovely and just what I needed. Sucks to be my future fiancé though, because the proposal bar just got higher.
Disclaimer: I don’t even know if descriptive prose is a term or if it sounds wanky, I suck at writing terminology and I’ve honestly never done any kind of ‘review’ before because I don’t think I can adequately express HOW MUCH I love reading Ana’s work (and so many other amazing authors), honestly, no words can do her work justice. Just read all her stuff, it’s amazing.
Lastly, Dom Hoseok is awesome and all, but never underestimate the power of Soft Hobi™️
snapshot | jhs x reader
summary: after a day at the beach, hoseok has some surprises in store for his longtime love
pairing: hoseok x reader
genre: fluff, smut, fluff OH MY GOD SO MUCH FLUFF y'all i apologize
word count: 4.7K
notes: this fic is a commission fic for the lovely @wwilloww as part of the @armyadvocates fundraising initiative to stop hate crimes against AAPI. miss willow asked for an old house, candles and soft smut as well as a mystery box. i did my best to deliver on all counts because willow is amazing and deserves all good things.
thanks go to @hobi-gif @ladyartemesia and @btsarmy9593 for beta reading parts of this story, thanks so much for keeping me on track ladies! a very special shoutout to @sahmfanficbts who helped me come up with a very *key* part of this plot.
warnings: no one dies? no one is in danger of dying? who am i? standard smut, unprotected sex. liberal sunscreen use. low air quality due to paint fumes and sawdust. references to yoongi, who we can assume is cranky offscreen, references to @untaemedqueen first suggestion of what was in the box.
Warm.
Hoseok is so warm right now, inside and out. He stretches his long body out on the length of his beach lounger, enjoying the feeling of the sun beating down on his skin. His buzz is mellow and pleasant. He lets his eyes drift shut, lulled into a lazy calm by the sounds he can hear all around him.
The steady lap of the waves against the shore. Kids laughing as they run around on the sand. Off in the distance, a bluetooth speaker thumps out a song that’s too far away for him to recognize. And after a few minutes, another sound.
Your bright laughter, carried to him on the breeze.
God, he loves that sound.
“You are such a lightweight,” you tease. Hoseok can hear the smile in your voice. “Two beers and you pass out on me.”
He cracks one eye open to find you standing beside his lounger. The early evening sunlight streams through the strands of your dark hair and warms your bronzed skin, bathing you in a kind of golden halo. He gazes up at you, languid and content.
“I’m not passed out,” he argues with a slow grin. “I’m relaxing. Come relax with me.”
Hoseok doesn’t give you a chance to accept his offer, leaning up to grab your hand and pull you down into the narrow space beside him. You laugh when he wraps his arms and legs around you like a starfish, pulling your back flush against his chest.
“I’m just enjoying the perfect day,” he murmurs, nosing at the back of your ear, “With my perfect girl.”
“Flatterer.”
Hoseok can’t see you rolling your eyes, but he knows you’re doing it anyway. Just like he can’t see the way you flush and he knows you’re doing that, too.
“We should eat,” you say after a while, shivering when he strokes the pads of his fingers up the soft skin of one bare leg. “Grab something before we have to take the bikes back.”
Hoseok hums under his breath as he slides his palm up the curve of your thigh, boldly searching for trouble under the hem of your sundress. You bat his hand away and he laughs, hugging you tighter.
“Alright,” he agrees in a whisper, ghosting his lips down the nape of your neck. You jolt in his arms when he sinks his teeth into the curve of your shoulder, nipping playfully. “Just a quick bite.”
There’s not much difference between a sundress and a négligée is there?
Certainly not from where Hoseok is sitting, anyway.
He studies you as he rides close behind, watching the way your hair whips in the breeze as you pedal. One delicate sundress strap slips down your sun-warmed shoulder, exposing just a bit more of your back. Then the wind grabs a hold of your sheer skirt, lifting it just long enough for Hoseok to get a glimpse of the pretty white panties underneath.
God, he loves those panties.
Could stare at them all day, really.
But instead he forces himself to pedal faster and take the lead, grinning when you take note of his advance and glare. It’s for the best because while you think this is just some meandering evening ride, he’s the only one who knows where you’re really headed. For the best because if he falls off his bike and breaks his face because he’s too busy staring at your ass, the entire night will be ruined before it has the chance to start.
It’s quiet on this street just a few blocks from the shore.
Dolmeori Beach is rockier, more wooded than the beaches preferred by most tourists and that’s always suited Hoseok just fine. When he was a kid, he’d steal away when the weather was warm and hop the train here from Gwangju any chance he got.
It’s always felt like his place, his personal piece of sea and sand.
Pine trees loom high over the pavement, canopies so dense they block out much of the waning sunlight streaming down from above. The shade beneath the leaves makes the heat bearable, but it also makes it hard to judge the time. Hoseok steals a quick look at his watch.
Right on schedule. He hopes Yoongi followed his instructions to the letter.
“Hurry up, slowpoke,” he teases over his shoulder, and he chuckles at the sound of frustration you make as you pedal faster to catch up. It takes a few seconds for you to coast into position at his side.
“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” you fuss, “Wanna clue me in?”
Hoseok turns his head to smile at you, sly like a fox.
“You’ll find out when we get there.”
The realtor had said the place would need a little love.
Turns out, it needs a lot more than a little. But Hoseok was able to see right past the weathered wooden porch and salt air-worn paint right away. When he found this place online, he knew it was the one.
He slows his bike to a stop as the two of you make your approach, taking note of the warm light that glows just behind the frosted glass pane in the front door. Looks like Yoongi came through.
“What is this place?” you ask, skidding to a stop beside him. You stand over your bike on tiptoes as you survey the house, brow knit in confusion.
“It’s a surprise,” Hoseok grins, hopping off his bike. He shoves the kickstand into place and offers you his hand, which you accept with a suspicious smile. “Wanna go in?”
“Yeah sure,” you shrug. “We’ve probably already stolen these bikes. What’s a little breaking and entering on top of that?”
Hoseok laughs, leading the way to the front door.
He cringes when the porch floorboards creak loudly beneath his feet, making a mental note to put that project next on his to-do list. You stand with arms crossed, watching silently as he crouches down to lift the mat at the front door, fingers feeling beneath for the concealed key.
You stop him with fingers wrapped around his forearm when he gets to his feet.
“Wait,” you whisper frantically. “We can’t just walk into someone’s house, Hoseok.”
He chuckles before leaning down to kiss the adorable confusion right off your face. Then he slides his key into the lock and pushes the door wide open.
“Not someone’s house,” he corrects, watching you peer skeptically inside.
You step slowly through the threshold and scan the candle-lit front room before turning to him with wide eyes.
“Our house.”
“You bought a beach house.”
It’s the third time you’ve said it by now, and not once has the hushed observation been directed at Hoseok. You said it when you brushed your fingertips over the freshly-dried spackle on the living room wall, said it again as you passed your hand over the base coat of stain on the mantle over the fireplace.
You say it again as you turn to him, jaw slack with disbelief.
“You bought a beach house.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok admits sheepishly, uncertain of your reaction. He tries to see the room the way you must see it now, candles and tools scattered across the tables, floors covered in drop cloths, cans of paint and plaster stacked up in the corners.
Yoongi had done a decent job of clearing up most of the clutter before he left, but judging by the astonishment on your face, he’s probably been romanticizing the mess in here.
He’d really hoped to have a lot more done the first time he brought you here, but he’s learned the hard way that some home renovation projects don’t go as smoothly in real life as they do on YouTube. The process has been a bit of trial and error, with a lot more error than he’d originally counted on.
“I know it doesn’t look like a whole lot right now,” he says, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck, “But it’s going to look great when I’m done. Yoongi helped me sand all week.”
You shake your head like you’re coming out of a daze.
“Oh my god Hoseok, no -- ” you vow with a shaky laugh, “ -- no, this is incredible. This is amazing. I’m in shock.”
“Yeah?” Hoseok grins, relief melting over him. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted -- ”
“ -- Wait,” you interrupt, one brow quirked high as you step closer. “You said… you said something important. You said this was our house.”
“Did I?”
You narrow your dark eyes at him and he chuckles uncomfortably, nerves kicking in for the first time tonight. The feeling -- and the occasion both call for more booze. Which he’s prepared for.
“Are you going to give me a tour?” you ask.
“Later,” he says. “After.”
“After what, Hoseok? You’re killing me slowly with all this suspense.”
“Hang out here for a second,” he instructs, ducking into the small kitchen. “I’ll be right back.”
It takes him no time at all to find the bottle of Moet he’s stashed in the fridge and the clean champagne flutes tucked away into the corner of his dutifully-dusted kitchen cabinet. He double-checks the contents of the box on the counter, making sure everything is in place.
Then he takes a deep breath.
Your brows lift in surprise when he walks back into the room with that box in his hands. You watch him set it down on the floor, saying nothing when he turns back to retrieve the champagne and glasses.
When he finally returns, you’re on your knees -- examining the package. Lips pursed thoughtfully as you press your fingers to the gold flecks on the fabric lid.
“Hoseok,” you whisper, flicking your gaze up to find his. “I have so many questions right now.”
You look so damned beautiful in this candlelight -- like you brought your golden glow from the beach indoors. Like you absorbed the sun’s rays and you’re emitting them now like some kind of superpower.
“Have a drink with me,” he murmurs, “And I’ll answer them.”
Something in the room shifts then; the temperature changes. The silly fun of the afternoon evaporates, leaving behind something heavy and heady. Hoseok knows you feel it too, when your half-smile slowly drops and you pull your lower lip between your teeth.
“Okay,” you agree softly, “Let’s have a drink.”
You watch him with those focused dark eyes as he pops the champagne. The drink bubbles over the lip of both flutes as he pours, on account of his haste and shaky hands. Then you take one of the glasses in hand and offer him the other, which he quickly accepts.
“To this surprise housewarming,” you declare, raising your flute for a toast.
Hoseok clinks his glass against yours, taking note of the way you watch him carefully over the lip of your glass as you’re tilting back the flute to take a sip. He decides he can’t keep you -- or himself -- in suspense any longer.
“You know how special you are to me, right?”
You make a face.
“Did you bring me to your new house to break up with me?”
Hoseok’s startled laugh turns into a cough and tears prick his eyes as champagne bubbles blaze a path up his sinuses.
“Yes,” he says dryly, once he’s managed to collect himself. “I figured dumping you by candlelight sounded like the most romantic option.”
You tip your head back when you laugh, light playing off the curve of your neck, your collarbones, the tiny gold pendant that sits in the pretty dip at the base of your throat.
God, he loves your skin.
Hoseok looks at you long and hard before lifting his flute to take a long drink.
“This is for you,” he says quietly, acknowledging the box out loud for the first time.
“What’s in it?”
“A human head,” Hoseok snorts, flinching when you reach over to pinch his leg. “Don’t be a pain. Just open it.”
Your eyes light with excitement as you smooth your hands over the lid and Hoseok can’t help but smile. But your excitement turns into confusion the moment you open the box and find the neat row of plain white envelopes inside.
“What is this?”
“Quit asking me questions,” Hoseok deadpans, pouring himself another drink. He tops off your glass, too. “And start at the front.”
You shake your head with a wry smile as you work the first envelope open, slipping your fingers in between the paper folds to fish out the contents inside. Hoseok sips his champagne as produce the polaroid photo, head cocked to the side as you study it.
It was cold that day, he remembers that. You’d been bundled up in a pretty scarf and matching belted coat. In the photo, the mid-morning sun flares behind you, illuminating your profile as you squint up at a display of laminated menus.
“This is me,” you murmur, mouth quirking into a disbelieving smile, “At the coffee truck outside of work.”
“Yup.”
“We’d just started dating.”
“Yup.”
“How did you take this without me noticing?”
“Easy,” Hoseok laughs. “You stared at that menu for five minutes straight. I’ve never seen someone take coffee selection so seriously. Thought you were gonna order the most complicated drink in history.”
You roll your eyes but you laugh. So does he.
“Turn it over.”
You flip the polaroid over in your hands, eyes moving over the neat block handwriting on the back.
coolest girl i ever met
“This is the day I knew I liked you,” Hoseok murmurs, “Like, really liked you.”
Your eyes are a bit glassy when you look up at him now, the corner of your mouth tugging into a soft smile.
“You were that sure that fast, huh?” “Yeah,” he admits, scratching self-consciously at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I was.”
You move onto the next envelope, this time prepared when you pull out yet another polaroid picture. This one is harder to place, taken in the dark, mostly black but for a few splashes of vivid light.
“I don’t know this one,” you frown, ghosting your finger across one particularly colorful blur of red and gold. “I can’t make it out.”
You turn the polaroid over, looking once again for Hoseok’s neat block letters.
she’s into me
You laugh out loud.
“That was the lantern festival in Cheonggyecheon,” Hoseok explains. “I’d invited you, but you’d had plans, remember? And I was just going to get Yoongi to go with me but you called me last minute to say you’d decided to come.”
“I remember,” you say with a smile. “Yeri invited me to a movie, but I cancelled on her. I wanted to hang out with you instead.”
“Yeah, well that’s the night I knew you really liked me.”
“Cocky,” you smirk, reaching for another envelope. “But warranted.”
Your eyes light with recognition the moment you pull the next picture out. You’re crouched down at the edge of his mother’s koi pond, one finger making ripples on the surface of the water.
“First time we ever went to Gwangju together,” you muse quietly. “First time I met your parents.”
You flip the polaroid over.
pretty sure my mom loves her more than she loves me
“Okay, this might actually be true,” you tease, taking a sip of your champagne. “Your mom and dad love me.”
“Yeah, well that was the day I decided I loved you, too,” Hoseok chuckles. “The point where I kind of knew there was no turning back.”
You look up from the photograph then, eyes glassy with emotion when they find his. Candlelight flickering across your face as you look at him fondly.
“You still feel that way?”
“Hell yeah, I do,” he laughs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Keep going.”
The next polaroid is a selfie of Hoseok in bed but it’s by no means sexual. There are dark circles under his eyes and his skin has a sallow tint. Next to his pillow, the bedside table is littered with cold medicine and empty cups.
“Is this when you had the flu?” you ask, flipping the polaroid over. The neat block lettering on the back confirms your theory.
she took care of me
“You were so pitiful,” you laugh, shaking your head at the memory. “Wrapped up in your blankets like a burrito. I swear, men have zero tolerance for discomfort.”
“I nearly died,” Hoseok protests dramatically. “But you dropped everything to come take care of me. That’s the day I knew you loved me, too.”
Your smile is brilliant now, open and sweet as you reach for the last remaining envelope. Hoseok takes another swig of champagne, slugging it down as you pull out the polaroid and study the image.
You are wearing your delicate sundress, leaned up against the wooden railing that separates the sand and rocks. Standing just next to your bike, nose in the air as you breathe in the salt carried on the wind.
“This is today,” you murmur, brows knitting together when you flip the picture over and find the back side blank. “And you haven’t written anything here.”
“Yeah, well,” Hoseok starts and stops, clearing his throat. “I haven’t had a chance to write it in yet.”
“Oh.”
“That’s the day I asked you to marry me.”
“Oh.”
You blink. Once, then again. Hoseok can hear the shaky breath you take in when your mouth parts in surprise. He sets his champagne flute down, sufficiently bolstered by the booze.
“So that’s what I’m doing right now. I’m asking you to marry me.”
You’re still mute with shock, eyes wide as they go from Hoseok to the picture and back to Hoseok again.
“But uh, the longer you don’t say anything, the less confident I feel about this entire plan,” he chuckles awkwardly.
You take him off balance when you throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and your thighs around his waist. He keeps you both from toppling over with a palm flat to the floor, laughing as you pepper his face with kisses.
“So is that a yes?”
“Yes,” you sigh, pressing your lips to his temple, his neck, his jaw. “Yes. To you and to these amazing pictures and to this beach house. Yes to all of it.”
You pull away from him to grab the champagne, eyes flashing mischievously as you take a drink straight from the bottle. “Yes to champagne, too.”
Hoseok feigns shock. “Naughty.”
You kiss him deeply then, thoroughly, enough for him to feel the remnants of the carbonation on your tongue. You tease him with a barely there roll of your hips and his cock responds instantaneously, at the mercy of the warm friction he can feel straight through the thin material of his board shorts.
“You know what I’m thinking?” you murmur against his mouth.
“I think I’ve got a pretty good idea, yeah,” Hoseok chuckles, sucking a breath between his teeth when you bite the skin just below his ear.
“We have a lot to celebrate, right?” you reason, tone light. “But we came here for a housewarming.”
You lean back just far enough to pull your sundress over your head, tossing it carelessly aside, leaving you in nothing but those pretty white panties he loves so much.
“So we should warm it.”
Hoseok grins, pulling the champagne bottle out of your grip. He turns it up just like you did, finishing what’s left before setting it back down.
“I like the way you think.”
The only bedroom in this house is buried beneath a two-inch thick layer of sawdust right now.
Not that making it to a bedroom seems high on your list of priorities.
The fact that you’re both sitting on top of a drop cloth on Hoseok’s living room floor isn’t stopping you from threading your fingers into his hair, slipping your tongue into his mouth, grinding against his lap.
“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” you laugh, pressing your bare breasts to his chest once he’s managed to untangle himself from your limbs long enough to shrug out of his shirt. Your pebbled nipples drag across the lithe planes of his chest and his cock jumps in his shorts.
“Clever.”
“That’s me,” Hoseok murmurs against your lips, deft fingers slipping beneath the damp cotton between your thighs. He slides the pad of one long finger across your wet slit and you gasp, rocking against it.
“Gotta get you out of these panties,” he laments, pulling one nipple into his mouth and working it with his teeth. You shudder in his hold. “Quick.”
“What are you in such a hurry for?” you tease, circling your hips to chase the perfect pressure of his fingertips. “We have all night.”
“We have about three more minutes if you keep grinding on me like this,” Hoseok laughs, shifting your bodies to lean you back onto the floor. “So give me a break because I want to enjoy this.”
You lie back for him dutifully, dark hair spilling onto the drop cloth around you, skin gleaming in the candlelight. Your gold pendant twinkles at the base of your neck.
God, he loves the way you look like this.
Flushed with excitement and anticipation. Like a feast laid out just for him. He rids himself of those pesky board shorts as fast as he can, leaning over you on hands and knees.
“You’re gonna marry me,” he muses, burying his face into the soft skin under your jaw. “You already said yes, can’t take it back now.”
Your laughter is echoing in his ears as he trails hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck, across the bronzed planes of your shoulder. He can taste the day on your skin; the ocean salt and sunscreen mixed with that flavor that’s so uniquely you.
“I don’t want to take it back,” you sigh, whimpering when Hoseok kisses a path down the velvety skin between your breasts. He travels lower, kissing just below your bellybutton as he starts working your panties off with one hand. “I’m gonna keep you.”
Hoseok chuckles as he tosses your panties away, off to somewhere unimportant. What’s important is the way you take a deep breath and hold it when his mouth hovers coyly over your cunt.
“Look at me,” he directs, peering up at you from beneath heavy eyelids. You open your eyes to meet his gaze, candlelight dancing over your pretty face.
“I love you,” he breathes, lowering his mouth to make contact with your clit. The air leaves your lungs in that moment, a soft exhalation of air that makes the hairs on the nape of his neck stand on end.
“I love you too,” you sigh, hips jerking at the contact, fingers digging hard into his hair. “So much.”
He knows you by now, knows how you like to be touched. Your rhythmic panting goes a bit ragged, when he slides two fingers into your cunt, crooking up to stroke you the way you like while his mouth works your clit.
God, he loves this part.
The part where you lose any semblance of control. The desperate sounds you make when you start to come apart beneath his mouth and hands.
“Hoseok -- “ your voice is strangled when you call out, “ -- Hobi, I’m gonna come.”
Something about the way you say his name goes straight to his dick. He grits his teeth when your nails dig almost painfully into his scalp as you start to tremble, shuddering against his mouth.
“That’s it, baby,” he soothes, pinning your hips down with his strong hands, keeping you from pulling away from the pleasure that borders on pain. “That’s it. Sound so good when you come for me.”
Hoseok stays face first in your cunt, nose and tongue pressed against you, until he’s certain the last wave has come and gone. Between his own legs, his cock pulses painfully, leaking pre-come at the thought of finally being inside of you.
Your body twitches with the aftershocks of your release as he slowly kisses his way up your thighs, your mound, your stomach.
“How was that?” he asks with a teasing tilt to his mouth, stealing your ability to answer when he kisses you deeply, fitting his slim hips between your legs. He reaches down to grab his stiff cock, sliding it across your slick entrance. You clamp your thighs together to tighten the drag and he groans at the friction.
“Amazing,” you sigh, dragging your nails over his ass, up the lean muscles of his back. “Perfect. You should let me return the favor.”
His dick practically jumps at the suggestion, stomach contracting hard at the prospect of feeling your pretty mouth wrapped around it. But Hoseok is too worked up, too riled up by the alcohol and the excitement.
“Can’t tonight,” he pants, arousal shooting up his spine when you wrap one hand around his now-wet cock. You pump him lazily, trailing soft bites from his jaw to his shoulder. “Need to be inside of you.”
“Yeah, I’m ready for that too,” you admit, guiding the blunt head of his cock to your entrance.
He surges forward then, pushing past the tight grip of your fingers, groaning as he’s enveloped completely by your warm cunt. You whimper at the stretch, locking your legs around him, gasping when he bottoms out.
He pulls back to the tip only to drive in again, earning another strangled moan. You’re squirming beneath him, breathless and dewy, looking like some kind of wet dream.
“I’ll never get over how good it feels to be inside of you,” Hoseok admits, burying himself as deep as he humanly can into you.
You’re so wet he can feel you spilling out onto the base of his dick and for one fleeting moment he wishes you knew how good this feels for him. How wet and hot and tight you feel around him. How being inside of you like this makes his brain go haywire, reduces him to only instinct and need.
You lift your hips to meet each snap of his, the wet sound of your joining echoing off the walls in this mostly empty house.
He hears you moaning his name in between the other sounds you make, in between the panting and mewling that makes his balls tighten. You grip his forearms as he grinds against you, kissing you in between desperate breaths.
“I think I’m gonna come again,” you gasp against his mouth. “Don’t stop.”
“Oh, fuck,” Hoseok groans, pulling back to get to his knees. He hooks one of your legs over the crook of one strong forearm, using his one free hand to press a thumb to your clit. His rhythm falters as he watches himself slide in and out of you, hypnotized by the sight of his body joined to yours.
You lift your ass off the floor, back arching as you chase the pressure of his fingers. Hoseok strokes you desperately, feeling his orgasm looming menacingly at the base of his cock. It takes just a few more strained pumps of his hips to set you off.
The second he feels you clamp down around him, Hoseok folds back over you, arms braced on either side of you as he thrusts through his own orgasm. He shuts his eyes and groans as he empties his cock inside of you, thrusting until he can’t anymore.
He collapses onto you, heart racing as he tries to catch his breath.
“Don’t leave me,” you groan when Hoseok peels his damp skin away from yours to get to his feet.
He strides across the room, completely nude, grinning when you turn onto your side and go up on one elbow to ogle him.
“Just for a second,” he calls out, pulling out every unorganized drawer in the kitchen until he finally comes across a pen. “Gotta finish something.”
He makes a show of holding it in the air as he walks back into the living room, opening the gold-flecked box, and pulling out the last unmarked polaroid photo.
You’re smiling the entire time you watch him pen the last caption on the last photograph.
she said yes
tag list!
@japzalileo @dionysusrage @hey-itsmina @myimaginationsrunningwild @hauntedlilies @spring2787 @suppbeccc @veronawrites @minyoongiboongi @katbonv
*screams internally*
hey guys!
so i’m hoping to have something new up for you all tonight! hopefully by 11PM EST 💕💕💕