Alright So I've Got A Bit Of A Dilemma/serious Question: My Whole Life, I've Worked Fairly Simple Jobs.

Alright so I've got a bit of a dilemma/serious question: my whole life, I've worked fairly simple jobs. Retail and manual labor. Not much thought involved. Y'all all seem to have jobs that require brains. I'm just gettin' started with this pharmacy tech shit and already I'm overwhelmed by the acronyms and jargon. I guess what I wanna know is, does this shit get easier or am I fucked?

I miss Thursdays.

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

I'm doin' that procrastination thing. I know I need a shower and I know I'll love it once I'm in there but my phone's at 23% so I'll stand here naked in the bathroom watchin' youtube til my legs fall asleep.

It's funny how I can be suicidal one night and discussin' the hilariousness of Gravity Falls with a fellow grown up the next.

Had a fabulous convo with my cousin earlier. Music, books, movies, our shared love tchotchkes... At one point he nearly killed me. I was askin' him if he liked gospel music. We were raised similarly, even tho he's got a good 10 years on me and he said "not really". I told him that despite my general lack of faith, I still seek out gospel music from time to time. He said I was gettin' in touch with my whiteness and I nearly spit out my beer. I found it hilarious because I hadn't noticed it myself but he was so goddamn right. Why, just recently I texted Mama amd asked her if Ricky Van Shelton had done a version of Old Rugged Cross and my cousin helped me realize that, without question, that is the whitest conversation I've ever had. And I've met the lead singer of Pantera so...

Splurged on my favorite beer. Sometimes that's all it takes to improve one's mood.