My Phone Recently Updated And Its Giving Me The Time Using A Twenty-four Hour Clock. I Am Not Too Used

My phone recently updated and it’s giving me the time using a twenty-four hour clock. I am not too used to reading the time like that. So like the go-getter I am, I have been struggling to do basic addition and subtraction rather than just changing it back.

I forgot how excited little kids get for parade candy. Like dude, you’re hyped? I am also hyped, I’m in a fucking parade. And I get to choose how much candy YOU get.

I wonder what everyone was doin’ in Boston today in 1919…

Welcome to the Year of The Egg

Today, I was once again wronged by Emily. Why she sees reason to do this? I am unsure. She claims that I am a homophobic communist. She then told me to go back to where I came from. I am Russian and Native?? We’re in the America?? I’m not a communist?? Emily, you make me my eyes cry.

Riddle me this. Why has pumpkins spice things, specifically coffee, become an unequivocally femmine thing?? I’m not particularly upset about thing, I’m just confused.

Back in the ye olde world, you didn’t just get to have cinnamon or nugmeg or cloves or ginger or allspice. No. You had to fight for them. And pumkins. They’re from North Amnerca. So youcouldn’t even have pumpkin spice until after 1492 or whenever. Because the Europeans had the spice but nit the pumpkin.

And to get the spice, they had to sail to eastern Asia and probably die. Do you even understand how many people died for spices? You can have nutmeg whenever you want, but Jonnathan Williamson in 1368 had to leave his wife, kids, and pronalny lover togo sail to Indonisea with no garenteed chance of survival to maybe get nutmeg ad maybe get stabbed. He didnt know. 

There were teams of men going to varipous plaes around the world in search for the spice and the pumpkin, but we havent even toched the coffee asspect. Because that was anpther thing they had to get. COFFEE WAS NOT INTRODUCED RO EUROPE UNTIL 1526. There was no chance of a pumpkij spice until AFTER 1525. And if you wanted a lil’ whipped cream on the pumpkin spice, you ha to wait until it came to your country and the earliest was Italy in 1549. And they ye olde Italians probably had to die to figure that out to.

Anyways, pumkin spice is a very boy consuable and they disowned it. So yeah. I don’t really know why I wrote this, but it felt importanr.