I Have, Once Again, Found Myself Thinking About How My Music Teacher In Elementary School Was A Creep

I have, once again, found myself thinking about how my music teacher in elementary school was a creep and some of the evidence that was used to get him fired were a bunch of pictures of elementary-school-aged me in class. Nothing crazy. Just stalkery pictures of me on Kelly Seger’s crusty iPad.

And he’d dump his kid on me if he ever needed to bring her in with him. (We were the same age and she didn’t go to my school.)

He also bragged about how he knocked a kid’s tooth out by flicking his favorite xylophone mallet into her face.

He made us have a six-month-long David Bowie unit that wasn’t in the curriculum after he died. And don’t get me wrong, I have always loved David Bowie, but Kelly Seger took his death REALLY hard.

Bro now reaches out to past students and tries to get them to record songs in his private studio.

This dude was a literal cartoon villain. He WAS Mr. Crocker.

My phone recently updated and it’s giving me the time using a twenty-four hour clock. I am not too used to reading the time like that. So like the go-getter I am, I have been struggling to do basic addition and subtraction rather than just changing it back.

Okay this is just getting funny now

I have become too powerful. I go throw guns and swords around for two and a half hours and then I drive. They should not be just letting me do this.

I forgot how excited little kids get for parade candy. Like dude, you’re hyped? I am also hyped, I’m in a fucking parade. And I get to choose how much candy YOU get.

Aziraphale shielding Crowley from water

and Crowley shielding Aziraphale from fire