Rodimus Going Through Serious Spark Break As He Recalls The Last Time He Carried. It Ended In Him Losing

Rodimus going through serious spark break as he recalls the last time he carried. It ended in him losing the sparkling and he dealt with that alone.

Now he’s sparked again.

He spends his days wondering how he’ll tell drift and ratchet. If he even should tell them.

He couldn’t keep the last sparkling so why assume he can carry this one?

FW

He ran to the bathroom being as quiet as possible so he didn't wake Drift and Ratchet. Who were exhausted and needed their rest after working yesterday.

Throwing up what little he had in his tanks from the night before. He rubbed his belly and froze in horror.

He stood up in a daze and found himself wandering his ship until he made it back to his room. He left so abruptly he didn't even tell Ratchet or Drift where he was going.

Digging through his bottom drawer he reached into the back where he kept an emergency case of sparked tests, just in case. With shaking hands he pulled it out. Having never expected himself to be in this position since he'd always been so careful. Terrified after the last time he'd been sparked.

Waiting for the results felt like the longest few minutes of his life. He paced back and forth trying not to freak out.

"It's going to be okay. You'll be fine. You probably ate something bad. There's no way you could be sparked.

He glanced at the test and collapsed in horror. He found himself wailing as he hugged his middle rocking back and forth sobbing. He couldn't do it again. Not after he lost his first one. He shook his head in denial.

"I can't. I can't."

He sobbed, remembering the pain he'd felt after losing his sparkling. It had been shortly after Nyons destruction when he'd been a shell of himself.

The stress and pain of losing his city caused him to miscarry. It was one of the worst experiences of his life and for a long time he never thought he'd recover.

When he first found out he was sparked he'd been scared. It had been an accident and he didn't know how Soundwave would react.

His Conjunx had been supportive and amazing the entire time. Although it was unexpected they were both happy and would love their little one no matter what. Soundwave was always taking care of him even when he was busy fighting in the arena he always checked in with him.

He knew he was busy both with fighting in the arena and helping Megatron with the Decepticons. But if he ever needed him Soundwave was always there. He loved him so much and he couldn't wait to spend his life with him and the little family they were creating.

Both of them were determined to change Cybertron for the better. Even though Soundwave worried. He continued his work as a Nyonian rebel wanting his sparkling to grow up in a city free of Functionalist rule. Both of them were so hopeful of the future and the life they were creating. Their own little sanctuary amongst the chaos of their world.

Then his home was destroyed and everything fell apart. He remembered the shock and horror as he stared at the firey remains of his beautiful city.

Soundwave had immediately rushed to his side and was the only thing stopping him from running into his city and joining his people.

Stricken with grief he'd collapsed into his arms and sobbed. Soundwave took care of him the entire time as he grieved his home wishing he'd died with them.

He took care of him when he couldn't get out of bed making sure he took care of himself. He held him when he cried and supported him any way he needed. He listened when he told stories of his home wanting to keep his people alive. He supported and encouraged his ideas for a memorial and helped him come up with a plan.

He promised him vengeance swearing that he'd kill the person who destroyed his home. He promised to help him any way he could and stayed by his side the entire time.

He was so amazing and he didn't know how he'd survive without him. For a while things were starting to get better they were no where near perfect but at least he had his little one.

He promised to raise him in Nyonian culture. He wanted his little one to have strong ties to Nyon so that his home wasn't forgotten.

Then one day he'd woken up with blood between his legs and this time he fell into a depression that almost killed him. He didn't think he'd ever recover and sometimes he still struggled to get by.

He remembered screaming in agony as he held the bloody sheets in his hands. Sobbing uncontrollably as he begged his sparkling to come back.

He knew Soundwave was grieving during that time as well. But he'd been selfish and made it all about himself. Soundwave had to take care of him when he refused determined to kill himself.

All he could think about was his loss. First his home and now his sparkling. For him it was too much to take and sent him over the edge. All he wanted was to die and join his little one in the all spark.

He knew he was hurting Soundwave when he refused to speak or even acknowledge his existence.

He spent his days laying in bed staring at a wall. It had been the hardest time in his life and then as if he couldn't get any more selfish he up and left one day without a word. After everything Soundwave did for him he couldn't even leave him a message saying goodbye because he was too much of a coward.

He couldn't do it anymore. He was hurting the love of his life. Who was having to take care of him while grieving their little one. He was too selfish for someone as amazing as Soundwave and he could only hope he found someone better after he was gone.

He went back to his home city planning on killing himself, uncaring of Soundwave's feelings. He'd just lost his sparkling and now he was going to lose him.

He never deserved him. Soundwave was too good for him. He was a horrible Conjunx and an even worse carrier.

Instead of dying like he planned he chose to betray him and join the Autobots. He fought against him ignoring his attempts to reach out and talk. He severed all ties with him because he couldn't take the pain. Every time he looked at Soundwave he was reminded of what he lost.

Soundwave should have hated him. He should have resented him for all the pain he caused and yet he never stopped trying to help him. Even after everything he did Soundwave still loved him.

He never wanted to have another sparkling. He never wanted to go through that pain again and now he was going to experience it all over again.

He sobbed clawing at his tanks. He was a failure his body couldn't carry to term and he couldn't take losing another sparkling.

He shut himself in his room refusing to come out. Even when people tried talking to him he ignored them, demanding they leave. Ratchet and Drift tried speaking with him only to be yelled at.

Eventually everyone left him alone. He stepped down from co captain no longer able to lead his crew. Not that it mattered when he'd be dead soon.

It hurt but he knew he deserved it after all the pain he's caused. The only thing he can do is kill. Even his own body kills the life growing inside of him.

He paced the floor touching his growing belly and knowing it wouldn't be long now. As his sparkling grew. The worst he felt knowing he was going to lose his little one and trying desperately not to get attached even though it was so hard.

He broke things off with Ratchet and Drift ignoring their requests to talk with him. He lied saying that he wasn't ready and that he didn't feel anything for them.

He knew it was for the best. They didn't deserve having to deal with the mess that was him. He didn't want them to know about the sparkling and go through the pain of losing their little one. It was better if they never knew about the beautiful life growing inside of him.

Both of them had been angry and hurt when he'd broken things off. Especially Ratchet who yelled at him for leading them on and refusing to talk like an adult. Both of them were hurt and said things that haunted him and made him wonder if they ever truly loved him or if they were just putting up with him. He felt ashamed and broke down sobbing trashing his entire apartment after they left. Neither of them came back after that, their relationship completely destroyed.

He sobbed memories of his loss flashing before his mind. He knew he'd abandon them eventually, when he lost his sparkling and it was better to break things off now and save them the grief he caused Soundwave.

He didn't deserve them. They were too good for him and deserved so much better than a failure like him.

He thought about taking his life many times. It kept him up at night as he lay awake rubbing his growing belly. Everyone would be so much happier once he was gone.

Ratchet and Drift could forget about him and Soundwave could finally move on.

Before he left with the Lost Light. He met up with Soundwave because he deserved to know that he was leaving. The two of them talked about everything. Both of them cried together as they finally grieved their loss and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

He told him that he was in love with Drift and Ratchet and that he was going to tell them.

Soundwave was dissapointed but understood. Promising to always love him and that if he ever changed his mind he'd be there for him. If he didn't that was okay as well. Because he'd still be there for him and that he wished him the best in life.

He was amazing and deserved to find someone special who could give him a family something he'd always wanted, but could never have with him and his broken body.

Even though he loved Drift and Ratchet part of him would always love Soundwave and the love they shared. He would forever hold a piece of his spark.

Before he left the two of them decided to spend one last night together and that's what it made it worse. He didn't know if the sparkling was Ratchet and Drifts or Soundwave's.

It didn't matter now. None of them would ever know. Just like Drift and Ratchet he couldn't tell Soundwave. He'd already grieved one sparkling he didn't need to grieve another one. He couldn't put him through that pain again,

The only thing stopping him from ending it all was the life inside of him. He wouldn't kill himself until after his sparkling died. So all he did was lay in bed all alone waiting for the inevitable.

It was better this way. He couldn't hurt anyone else if he died like he was supposed to all those years ago. Once he was gone they would all be free and able to move on with their lives while he got to join the all spark with his sparklings.

Can we get a part ii to Drift and Ratchet trying to court Hot Rod but Perceptor is blocking them/trying to scare them off? I can see Hot Rod being exasperated because he genuinely loves the two and wants to be with them.

He found Hot Rod sobbing in his room and he rushed to see what was wrong.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

He checked him over for injuries while his bitty clung to him.

"Am I ugly?"

"What? No. Who told you that?"

He looked at his bitty in shock and then anger. His engine revved and he promised to kill whoever said that to his little one.

"No one said it to me but it has to be true. I thought Ratchet and Drift liked me but now they're avoiding me."

Hot Rod cried and he gave him a surprised look. Because he didn't think they'd give up so easily. He thought they would have put up more of a fight, instead of letting his bitty go.

He felt justified about pushing them away. It was for the best after all. They gave up on his bitty and weren't willing to fight for him. Which means they clearly didn't deserve him. In Nyon people fight for their potential mates. Even if they have to fight the entire functionalist guard.

If they couldn't fight for his sparkling they were unworthy of his love and he hoped Hot Rod could find someone better now that they were gone.

Even as he said that Hot Rods cries made him feel guilty for pushing them away. His bitty obviously loved them and was hurting right now.

He held him hoping that he'd be able to move on in time and realize that he could do so much better.

Hot Rod cried himself to sleep in his arms and he laid him in bed making sure he was comfortable. He then left his room and went to grab his favorite snacks and movie.

Along the way he stopped by Drift and Ratchets room. When the two of them saw him they immediately frowned.

"I hope you're happy."

"We did what you wanted and have stopped courting Hot Rod."

"I'm very happy because now Hot Rod can find someone better."

"What's your problem with us?"

Ratchet snapped clearly annoyed.

"You don't know Hot Rod. You act like you do but you don't. I see the way you two are with each other and I know my sparkling will only end up hurt. You two will always love each other more than Hot Rod."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. Hot Rod will always feel like a third wheel. Whenever it comes to important matters or arguments it will always be you two against him."

"We can change."

He shook his head.

"The biggest reason I didn't think you two were worthy of my sparkling is because you gave up."

"You told us to leave him alone."

"You shouldn't have listened! In Nyon mates protect each other. They fight for each other and it doesn't matter who's in their way they will always fight for their mate but not you two. He deserves better and you two know it. Which is why I think you really stepped down because deep down you knew that Roddy could do so much better and you two were only holding him back."

He walked away leaving the two of them speechless as he went to pick up the snacks and a movie. When he got back Hot Rod was still curled up in a little ball asleep and he rubbed his back.

"Soon you'll get over them and then I'll help you find the perfect mate."

Djfjeokef oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!

I just read your recent story of soundrod on the lost light mechpreg & i was hoping we could have a part two. Soundwave knocking roddy out may not have been the best option but i definitely would love to see where it goes!

Maybe Roddy talks some sense into Soundwave & they go back on the lost light & drift & rodimus have a chat?

Poor Drift is definitely missing his bonded amica and even Ratchet misses the little bright speedster.

Thank you for posting & i hope you’re okay!

FW

When Rodimus didn't return to the Lost Light he immediately knew something was wrong. Other people dismissed his worries thinking Rodimus was late, but he knew better. Ratchet also seemed worried and grabbed a first aid kit in case he was hurt.

The two of them decided to go out looking for his Amica. Worried it had something to do with his strange behavior.

He'd been pulling away from him for a while. Whenever he asked to spar he always refused and would find ways to avoid him. Sometimes he'd even be seen doing paperwork which was a shock.

Ratchet also noticed his strange behavior and whenever he tried to scan him, Rodimus would always freak out and use his outlier ability to prevent him.

They tried bringing it up to him. Both of them worried but it only made him avoid them more. Always looking terrified as though he thought they'd hurt him which was crazy.

Rodimus never went to Swerves any more and was constantly hiding in his room. Whenever he asked if something was wrong he'd always dismiss him. Sometimes even snapping at him if he didn't leave him alone. Which hurt although he tried not to blame his Amica.

Sometimes it seemed like his Amica was scared of him and would flinch if he got too close.

He also noticed that he'd been calling someone. Although he tried to hide it. He could see that he'd been messaging someone quite frequently.

He didn't know who they were and at the time he didn't think they were a threat. Because Rodimus always seemed relieved and happy after they spoke. Instead of tense and on edge like he'd been lately around everyone.

Now he cursed himself for not looking into it further. He searched the area with Ratchet and they looked inside a hidden alleyway. Where he gasped finding Rodimus comm.

He immediately called the others wanting a search party to help him look. The crew searched everywhere finally realizing the severity of the situation.

He looked around the alleyway trying to find something else but came up empty handed. Ratchet tried to soothe him by saying that he didn't see any energon which was a good sign.

They spent what felt like days trying to find him. The entire time he was in agony unable to sleep or eat as he worried about his best friend. He should have reached out more. He should have been there. He could have protected him and stopped him from being taken.

He ignored the worried looks Ratchet would give him. Always trying to reassure him that it wasn't his fault even though he knew that was a lie.

They searched everywhere for Rodimus but couldn't find him. Which means he was taken off world and could be anywhere.

Ratchet who was equally worried tried to reassure them both that Rodimus could handle himself. After everything they've gone through Rodimus would find a way back to them.

Both of them had trouble sleeping the entire time. Wondering where Rodimus was and if he was safe.

Rodimus woke up in a comfortable nest feeling warm and cozy. Soundwave came over and gave him energon that didn't make him sick much to his joy.

"How did I get here?"

He looked around realizing he was on an unfamiliar ship. Soundwave shifted and he suddenly remembered what happened because he gasped.

"You kidnapped me!?"

"I'm sorry Rodimus but it was the only thing I could think of."

"I asked for your help dealing with this."

He gestured to his belly.

"I didn't want you to kidnap me!"

Rodimus gave him an angry look his emotions all over the place as he found himself starting to cry much to his embarrassment. Soundwave held him. Letting out a sound that made his body relax now that the sire was there and taking care of him and their sparkling.

"You didn't hear how scared you were. I got there as fast as I could because I was worried something would happen to you. Every time we spoke you seemed terrified of others finding out. You refused to tell anyone not even your Amica because you were so scared."

He looked down at his lap because Soundwave was right. He was scared.

"I'm glad you're here."

"So am I. I'm sorry Rodimus I know this isn't what you wanted but I refuse to put either of you at risk."

He bit his lip feeling more tears fall and Soundwave wiped them away.

"I'm here for you. Whatever you need as long as you're not in danger."

He nodded.

"I just need some time to think and get my thoughts in order."

"Okay, I'll be in the pilots seat if you need me."

He nodded watching Soundwave leave he laid back in bed.

He didn't want to abandon his quest or his crew. He wanted to tell Soundwave to turn them around and take him back but he couldn't.

He put a protective hand on his belly remembering the horror he saw as a sparkling. The way tank carriers were tortured and murdered in the streets with people cheering as they suffered.

Prejudice against tank carriers ran deep and he knew some of his crew would have a problem with him. He didn't want to believe they'd hurt his sparkling. Nut he knew if some of them got the chance they'd take it.

He shivered wrapping his arms around his tank. He wished things could be different. But until the sparkling was there he couldn't go back. It wasn't safe for him or his sparkling and Soundwave would never agree to it.

He would never put him or their sparkling in danger. Even if it meant doing things like kidnapping him.

Although he couldn't go back to the Lost Light... At least for now. He decided to send Drift a message knowing his best friend would worry about him.

He sent him a short message telling him that he was safe and that he had something to take care of and that he'd be back soon and to take care of the Lost Light for him.

He felt slightly guilty that he couldn't give Drift s proper goodbye. But hopefully after the sparkling was born Drift would understand his decision to leave. Even if he didn't know the full reason.

As much as he loved Drift and thought of him and his Conjunx as family. He couldn't forget that when he was Deadlock he'd take bounties put on tank carriers. Either killing them if they were lucky or dragging them back to their abusers. Who took their sparklings and forced them to have more.

Sometimes he'd even torture them if that's what the job required. Ignoring their pleas to spare their sparkling. If his client didn't want the sparkling he'd kill them in front of their carrier, because he didn't see them as Cybertronian. Merely an animal that needed to be put down.

Drift had drunkenly confessed it to him. Looking ashamed and telling him that at the time he thought tank carriers deserved it, for being disgusting and unnatural and that he was doing the world a favor, and if he benefited from it that was just a bonus.

The news had been devastating and had put a strain on their friendship. Drift hadn't noticed at the time busy with Ratchet and their new relationship.

Although Ratchet wasn't as cruel to tank carriers. He was aware that during his time in medical school. He'd report tank carriers to the functionalist government. The medic had expressed regret at the time. He thought it was the right thing to do. All the medical textbooks said they were dirty and could spread diseases and that it was for the best if they were taken care of.

He also performed forced abortion and sterilization on many unwilling carriers and the very idea made him sick. He put a protective hand on his belly. After he found out he was sparked every time he saw Ratchet all he wanted to do was flee. Terrified he'd kill his sparkling if he let him examine him.

After all he'd been taught that sparklings that come from the tank are freaks and need to be taken care of, for their own good. Because they'll be deformed and will be unable to live a full life.

Drift texted him back but he found himself unable to read it as he had a panic attack. Forgotten trauma resurfacing as he held his tanks crying in fear.

Soundwave noticing his distress rushed to his aide and held him as he cried.

"It's going to be okay I'll take care of you. I won't let anything happen to either of you."

Soundwave promised repeatedly. Until his body couldn't take the stress anymore and he fell asleep in Soundwave's arms. The only place he'd ever truly felt safe.

Hi i have no idea if i already asked this but a part two of heavily sparked Roddy who went to help his grandsire Kup and Drift and Ratchet saw him heavily sparked.

He’s not due yet but still looks like it and the two manage to corner him when he’s slowly waddling back home with a servo on his back and another under his massive tank.

It was really late at night and he went to get a craving

Even though Kup wanted him to stay he decided to go home. Promising he'd tell his carrier in the morning. It was getting late and he was almost home when he smelled something delicious.

His belly rumbled even though he'd already eaten before he left and he was unable to resist.

He found himself following the smell which led him to a small store.

Walking inside he was drawn towards this delicious dish that he immediately bought. He wasn't paying attention as he focused on the cashier and the meal in front of him.

The cashier was gushing about how cute his belly was and he smiled listening to them talk. He was nervous about telling his carrier but he knew he couldn't keep it a secret forever and it was better to tell him now then later.

"Rodimus?"

He jumped in surprise and looked over to find Drift and Ratchet standing there. The cashier immediately looked on edge and he tried to act like nothing was wrong even though his spark was pounding in his chest.

"We need to talk."

Drifts optics narrowed at the cashier and he felt nervous. He wasn't ready to tell them about the sparkling.

The cashier frowned telling them to leave and he quickly reassured them that he was fine. The cashier gave Ratchet and Drift a weary look clearly sensing the tension between them.

He forced himself to leave the store with Drift and Ratchet following closely behind him. When they were somewhere semiprivate the two of them confronted him.

He ignored the way his legs shook as he put a comforting hand on his belly reminding himself that he'll be okay.

"The sparkling is yours."

He finally confessed.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't know. I was scared and I didn't think you'd want the sparkling. It's okay if you don't. I can raise them by myself."

"Of course we'll help you raise them. We were worried about you and thought something was wrong when you disappeared on us."

Drift gave him a sad look and he winced looking ashamed.

"I'm sorry."

"Why would you think we wouldn't want you?"

"Because you two have each other and I'm nothing more than a fling."

"Roddy."

Both Drift and Ratchet gave him a surprised and sad look.

"We don't see you as a fling. We were trying to court you."

"What?"

He looked between the two of them as they came over and took both his hands.

"We love you and we want to bond with you."

He felt tears fall as he shook his head.

"No you're lying. You're only saying that because I'm sparked. You don't want me. You can't."

Both of them hugged him and he sobbed his emotions causing him to become a mess as they pulled him closer reassuring him that they loved him and wanted to be with him.

"Let us show you how much we love you."

He looked between the two of them and nodded unable to resist. Even though he'd tried to stay away he'd missed them so much and he needed them.

He let them take him home where they took care of him and reminded him that they loved him even before he was sparked.

So.. Megatron and Optimus decided to conclude a peace treaty, Hot Rod and Soundwave are also celebrating.

He watched as Megatron and Optimus signed the peace treaty officially ending the war. Around him everyone cheered and he found tears falling because it was finally over.

He looked around the room and made optic contact with Soundwave. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment and then Soundwave gestured towards the exit.

Moving through the crowd of people he made his way to the exit and let Soundwave take his hand. He led him down a hallway and into his office where he wiped his tears.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded smiling with happiness.

"After all this time, It's finally over."

Soundwave nodded and his hand brushed against his cheek making him shiver as he leaned against him.

"We no longer have to hide anymore we can finally be together."

He gasped looking at Soundwave in shock and excitement.

"I want everyone to know that you're mine."

He nodded eagerly.

"Now that the war is over you can finally put a sparkling inside of me."

Soundwave's engine growled and he shivered. The two of them made out and Soundwave pressed him against a wall when he stopped him.

"Wait stop."

Soundwave pulled away giving him a confused look.

"I want to conceive our sparkling in a bed. We're not at war anymore and we don't have to sneak around and frag wherever we can. We should enjoy ourselves and take our time."

Soundwave nodded even though he wanted to frag him as soon as possible. They quickly walked home together trying to avoid people as much as possible. Not wanting them to slow them down as they tried to make it home as soon as possible, before they couldn't take it anymore and started fragging out in the open.

They somehow managed to make it back home and the two spent the next few days celebrating the end of the war by fragging until Hot Rod was finally sparked.

As the two cuddled together in public Soundwave looked smug as everyone stared at Hot Rods growing belly because those two didn't waste any time.