
It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of no fortune must be in want of a husband, too, bitch.
130 posts
@pathsanderrands
@pathsanderrands








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More Posts from Thequickesttortoise
Me

“ i just think he’s neat”
which did you get?
bad ending: i refuse the requests of my friends and family to move closer, alone in a town where nothing but a dead-end job awaits me. i continue a life of pretending that i have a social life to avoid suspicion and pity. i live paycheck-to-paycheck while saving just enough to buy even more unplayable board games to clutter the house. i live out my days never putting my time and effort into something that outlasts me.
good ending: i find the perfect teaching position within a comfortable distance of everyone i love. my parents and i adopt corgi siblings. we name them peanut, butter, and jelly. i take jelly so peanut and butter are together, but it’s a perfect trio when i visit. my husband and i return to the same spot in york, maine, where we got married and we share a salted caramel cone every friday while looking out at the ocean wondering what colored tails we would have as mermaids.
true ending: i am offered the position of the person who actually cleans the mirror after a contestant is eliminated from rupaul’s drag race. i seriously consider it, then turn it down.
Must protect at ALL COSTS
Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.
I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY
Will not risk.

sorry followers :(


Excuse me. When the fuck am I going to have exactly 1 slice of pizza?
