Dazai, Clapping His Hands: Alright, We Have Something To Announce!

Dazai, clapping his hands: alright, we have something to announce!

Chuuya: we're dating!

Atsushi: wh—

Akutagawa, not looking up from his book: hah! we already knew that

Atsushi: we did?!!

Akutagawa, looking Atsushi dead in the eyes: and we are also dating

Atsushi: WE ARE?!!

Holidays tinies!!!! They got tacky sweaters!!!

@mittencloud9 made a holiday-themed prompt list for the tinies! You should check it out if only to enjoy the most adorable tiny skk all bundled up in a basket

🍁☕❤️

thinking of cockwarming Dazai but he’s being rather mean to you. every five to ten seconds he’ll start slowly fucking you. but then just stop until you squirming begging for more. then do it again and again and again until you’re on the edge squirming trying to make him fuck you. but he just teases you. until he just decides to rail you. fucking you so hard that you’re drooling all over yourself.

inconvenience

alhaitham x reader

sypnosis: after alhaitham fails to show up for your birthday “party” things seem to go worse between you as well as your best friend kaveh

warnings: angst, no comfort, arguments

the clock chiming felt taunting with every minute that passed. every minute that passed with alhaitham nowhere in sight. every minute that got closer to midnight. a gentle sigh left your lips, the thickly frosted cake sat in front of you untouched. you were sure if you had lit the candles they would have been nothing but melted wax by now.

you weren’t sure why you wanted to believe things would be different tonight. with alhaitham’s busy schedule it made moments between you two scarce and few. only speaking for a few minutes in the morning, knowing he’d be gone all day. you didn’t blame him for it, no. how could you? he was busy doing his job as a scribe! piling onto his already busy schedule felt nauseating. but you trusted his promise he made to you only two weeks prior. a promise to come home early on your birthday, to celebrate together.

it felt so long ago now. the clock reading 11:46 and he still wasn’t home. the sound of the door opening perked you up, a wide smile on your face as you got up, ready to greet alhaitham.

“haitham! i- oh.”

the blonde haired architect smiled softly at you, your shoulders slumping. “hey kaveh, why’re you home so late?” you spoke softly as he came inside.

“i just got caught up with things, figured i’d rather finish them here.. where’s alhaitham? i thought you two would be together right about now?”

you shook your head softly, “i guess he got caught up with things as well.”

kaveh studied your face for a moment before smiling sadly, “happy birthday (y/n).” you whispered a quiet thank you as he walked to his room, the door shutting gently behind him.

a silent storm brewed in your mind and you couldn’t help but feel so defeated. your boyfriend of four years couldn’t bother to show up for your birthday? did he really think his work mattered more than you?

you remembered every time you passed up something with your friends or an event you had wanted to go to, just for alhaitham. considering his feelings and knowing he didn’t like those things. only wanting to spend time together even if it meant missing out on things you also deemed as important.

always taking his feelings and thoughts on certain things, but he couldn’t even come home for your birthday? your sigh was much more aggravated than it was before, your patience as thin as paper.

just as you were about to put the cake away the door opened, the clock reading 12:24. no words were said as you closed the fridge door, making your way past alhaitham before he stopped you. a firm hand on your shoulder.

“what, alhaitham? it’s late, i’m going to bed.” you attempted to shrug his hand off but he held his grip. “you’re angry, why are you upset with me?” alhaitham spoke cooly and composed.

you scoffed loudly, angry tears were trying to escape your eyes but you wouldn’t let them. you wouldn’t cry over him.

“oh, i wonder! i really do, alhaitham. maybe because it’s my birthday and you didn’t bother to show up? just a reminder since you seemed to have forgotten, or do you just not care? i don’t think i want to know the answer.” you spat out like poison. a look of annoyance crossed alhaitham’s face.

“are you serious? you’re behaving like a child over your birthday? i was busy with my work, you know this. don’t go pouting now because i forgot one meaningless day.”

he didn’t care. he didn’t care how much this meant to you, even after telling him stories of how you always went out of your way for others. only to be disappointed in return. the one day of the year you wanted to feel like you mattered, and he didn’t care. he was more bothered with you being upset than anything.

“you can’t be serious alhaitham. you promised me!”

“then i suppose that promise didn’t mean much as i don’t recall ever making one.”

any argument you had in your mind now died. he wouldn’t care for any reason to justify your anger, he had made up his mind. and he wasn’t sorry for any of it.

you didn’t say anything as his hand left your shoulder, walking past you to the kitchen for a late night sandwich. you quietly made your way to kaveh’s room, shutting the door as quietly as you could behind you. kaveh spun around in his chair, a look of confusion on his face.

“kaveh.. alhaitham didn’t care! he just didn’t care at all. i waited all night, you know? i waited and waited and blew off invitations to spend my birthday with dehya and the girls and he just.. just didn’t care! he called me a child and i-“

“(Y/N)!”

your emotional rambling stopped at the yell of your name. kaveh held the same expression alhaitham had when he looked at you not too long ago.

“you are being an inconvenience right now, i have so much to do and i can’t deal with this right now. we can talk about it later but i’m busy right now. so please, get out of my room.”

you didn’t say anything as you left his room. alhaitham scoffing as you two saw each other before he made his way to his own room. the door shutting behind him.

you had never felt so unwelcome in a place you had grown to love and call home. but if you weren’t wanted, you knew better than to stay. to fight for a place that wasn’t yours. with that, you quietly slipped away into the night. texts and calls being missed from the both of them as you made a new life outside of them.

taglist: @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @aqualesha @linkookie197 @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @reblog-crazily @sparklylanddetective @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @maxineslair @kenmabfasf @samarill @whorerificstuff

Two detectives in your bed

Self-Aware! Edogawa Ranpo x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu

Description: You wanted to take a nap. But, there are two detectives in your bed. And all of your blankets and pillows are gone.

Fluff. Silly short fic.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

______

You just wanted to take a nap.

You just wanted to lay down on your bed, cover yourself with the blanket, put your head on a pillow and have a nice nap. Because you deserved this nap. You are working hard in the university. And you are helping with the house chores. You deserved to have a small rest.

The plan was simple. Go into your room - Lay down on the bed - Cover yourself with the blanket - Lay your head on a pillow - Sleep.

Pretty simple plan, right?

Well, wrong! You were wrong!

You shake your head, hoping, that you were just too tired and started seeing things. It must be a mistake and your room should be empty.

You opened your eyes and stare on your bed.

They were still there.

Dazai Osamu and Ranpo Edogawa were laying in your bed. Ranpo was lying across the bed, while Dazai was laying on his side, looking at you with a sly grin.

It's not like you were against their company. Or against anyone's company. It wasn't even the problem, that they were in your room. Or in your bed.

You knew that some of BSD Cast find your room shooting. They love spending time here. They like staying here. And you allowed them to go into your room, while you weren't there.

A few times you returned to your room, finding Lucy reading a book here, or Kunikida, taking notes in his notebook, or Tetchou taking a nap in your bed.

Of course, they have some restrictions. They weren't allowed to search through the drawers, and they must ask if they want to take something from your room to theirs, be it a textbook or a laptop. And, as long as these rules are followed, there were no problems.

So, you weren't angry, that Ranpo and Dazai got into your room when you weren't here. You were angry, that your blanket and pillow were gone.

And, if Ranpo's and Dazai's sly smirks imply something, that they were the reason, they are gone.

You frowned and looked at two 'intruders'.

"What are you two doing in my bed?"

Ranpo rolls on his side and turn his head in your detection. He smirked.

"Oh, you know, just hanging around. Waiting for you."

You rolled your eyes. There is no Purple Sigh on your door, so these two aren't in distress. And it doesn't explain the missing blanket and pillow.

"Why? And where are my blanket and pillow?"

Ranpo's smirk became bigger.

"Somewhere. I wonder where... Do you know where they are, Dazai?"

Dazai chuckled and looked at your direction. He looked as sly as Ranpo.

"Have no idea, Ranpo."

Ranpo hummed.

"Oh, I remember! Kids were building a pillow fort? I recall they were asking for a permission to took blankets and pillows."

You rub your temples. You recall, how Sakura asked your permission to take some blankets and pillows for the pillow fort. Okay, you can do this. It's not like kids took all your blankets and pillows.

You start searching through your shelves, trying to find a blanket and a pillow. You must have a few more somewhere there.

During your search, you felt Ranpo's and Dazai's gazes on you.

Ranpo yawned and looked at Dazai.

"Dazai, have you heard about what happened yesterday? You see, Fyodor and Nikolai were visiting [Y/N]'s old house, trying to retrieve something..."

You let out a nervous whine and feel, like you were burning up. Your cheeks and ears were on fire. You try to focus on anything else, not paying attention to Ranpo.

"... And when they got back home..."

Where are the blankets and pillows?

"... We didn't see [Y/N], Fyodor and Nikolai for the rest of the day and night..."

Maybe they are in this wardrobe?

"... And [Y/N] appeared only at the morning..."

Why you can't find blankets and pillows?!

"... Do you think you can explain, what happened, [Y/N]?"

You turned back and looked at two detectives on your bed. Dazai and Ranpo both looked like two cats, that ate all sour cream in the house. Your face still felt like it was on fire.

You breathe in and out.

"Where... Where are the rest..."

Ranpo grinned and finally opened his eyes.

"Kids wanted to make a huge pillow fort. They took all blankets in the house."

What? Were kids trying to make a fort that is big enough to live in? The idea of going to them and took one pillow and blanket was rejected immediately. It's still daytime, let the kids play.

But, you want to be nice and cozy while taking a nap.

Two detectives noticed your face expression. Dazai dramatically raise both of his hands up.

"Oh, My Dear Iris Flower, don't worry, you won't be cold or uncomfortable! I will be your blanket and Ranpo..."

What? A blanket?

Ranpo waves his hand.

"And I will be your pillow"

You will repeat. What? A pillow?

You blinked owlishly. Dazai open his arms, inviting you to hug him.

"Don't be shy, [Y/N]! Come here and hug me. Look, that I am soft and warm. A perfect blanket."

Ranpo lift his shirt up, showing his stomach.

"And my belly is soft. Softer, than any pillow you will ever have."

Ranpo opened his eyes slightly.

"And, both Dazai and I are much more good-looking than any... print on a pillow case you could find."

YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT BSD CAST WERE SELF-AWARE, WHEN YOU ORDER TWO DAKIMAKURAS WITH FYODOR AND NIKOLAI ALMOST A YEAR AGO!

AND, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, THAT PACKAGE GOT DELAYED, AND, WHEN IT FINALLY ARRIVED, YOU NOT ONLY FORGET WHAT SHOULD BE INSIDE, BUT ASKED FYODOR AND NIKOLAI TO GET IT FROM YOUR PREVIOUS NEIGHBORS!

AND, YOU DIDN'T KNOW, THAT YOU WERE SHOP'S 5000 CLIENT AND, AS A PRESENT, YOU GET PILLOW CASES FOR DAKIMAKURAS WITH DIFFERENT BSD CHARACTERS!

You feel a chill running down your spine. Yesterday, you spent half of the day and all night, cuddling Fyodor and Nikolai. Well, to be more specific, you were wrapped into a blanket and stuck between Fyodor and Nikolai, that wanted to show you, that they are better than any pillow. And prettier. And clingier. It was the best cuddles you ever had. Almost. All their teasing were unbearable!

You don't want to know, how Ranpo and Dazai learn about the pillows and pillow cases. Either, because they are Dazai and Ranpo. Or because Fyodor and Nikolai told them. It doesn't matter right now.

...

You probably could take a nap in the living room. On the couch. With no pillows and blankets.

Or, you can give up and have a nap with Ranpo and Dazai. And, once again, cuddled for the rest of the day.

Ranpo, whose eyes were still opened, laughed.

"There are no free blankets or pillows in the house. Your nap on the couch will be cold. Besides," Ranpo had a tight grin on his face. "Is it really that bad to sleep with us?"

You massage your temples. It wasn't bad, just... They will never let you live the dakimakuras incident down, right?

Dazai give you the best puppy dog eyes he can.

"Are you tired, Dear [Y/N]?" Dazai cooed, opening his arms for a hug again. "Take a nap. You will feel better!"

You give up and plopped down on your bed, rolled to Dazai and put your head on Ranpo's stomach.

He was soft and warm. You still can't believe, that BSD Gang were real, breathing, living people.

Dazai nested on top of you, pinning your hands between his chest and yours. Dazai's face pressed against the crook of your neck.

Ranpo's fingers started running through your hair.

"Aren't we better, than any pillow or blanket you will ever have? Or any pillow case?"

You let out a tiny groan.

"I already explained it, that I forgot about the package! It took almost a year to be delivered!"

Ranpo chuckled and Dazai rub his nose against your throat.

"Dear Iris Flower, don't be embarrassed. You gift us a great opportunity to cuddle with you more!"

You rolled your eyes.

"Yea, it's not like we don't snuggle almost every day"

Ranpo and Dazai laugh a little. Dazai kissed the tip of your nose.

"Well, I still want more cuddles!"

Ranpo poked your cheek.

"So am I."

You mumble something, but close your eyes and doze off. Dazai and Ranpo were great as a blanket and pillow.

Right before falling in Dream Kingdom, you heard Ranpo's voice.

"Sleep tight, [Y/N]. Have a good dreams."