He's So Clingy

he's so clingy

(comm info/ kofi support)

I really don't care who tops or bottoms in ships, but Suguru being a brat tamer is a fact, to me.

Kunikida: Do you Akutugawa Ryuunosuke take Atsushi Nakajima to be your lawfully wedded husband.

Akutagawa: What?! No?!

Gasps echo across the room.

Tachihara faints.

Everyone: looks suspiciously at Higuichi who shakes her head wide eyed.

Atsushi: heartbroken, in tears What...?

Akutagawa: oblivious to all of this, glares at Kunikida I'm marrying the Jinko! Why are you blabbering on about this Atsushi person?

Atsushi:... Sadness turns to anger WHAT?!

One explanation and a revived Tachihara later

Akutagawa:... Oh...

Atsushi: That's all you have to say?! Oh?!

Akutagawa: Jinko... Erm, Atsushi I can explai-

Atsushi: This whole time... This WHOLE TIME?!

Akutagawa: Ji-

Atsushi: 10 YEARS!

---------------------------

Dazai: See I told you not to marry him, he's no good for you.

Atsushi: eyes blazing You're the one who told me to propose!

Dazai:... Oh yeah. Well who told you to listen to me. My ideas are terrible, right Chuuya?

Chuuya: already getting drunk with Yosano because this event can no longer be done sober Fuck you, asshole!

Yosano: no idea what they're talking about Yeah fuck you!

______________________

Akutagawa: He's not gonna let this go is he?

Tachihara: Nope.

Hirotsu: I mean at least you guys still got married.... Somehow.

Akutagawa: True, who knew he had a different name this whole time.

Everyone: sweat drops

Gin: You're making it very hard to defend you right now.

____________________

Atsushi: drunk talking about Akutugawa I hate him!

Chuuya: drunk talking about Dazai I hate him too!

Atsushi: Why did I marry him?!

Chuuya: It felt like a good idea at the time!

Atsushi: Right!

Chuuya: Than he blew up my car!

Atsushi: He didn't even know my name!

Chuuya: Why are men so stupid!

Atsushi: I don't know!

Akutagawa: Should we do something?

Dazai: Only if you want your marriage and death certificate issued today.

Akutagawa:...

Dazai: Thought so.

Akutugawa: Wait, you blew up his car?!

Dazai: uh uh, you are not giving me shit for that after this.

Akutagawa:... Touché

MC: I'm going to leave without saying anything to the brothers.

Solomon: Why?

MC: Because I want to test something.

Solomon: What would that be?

MC: I have a feeling the brothers are more likely to start a search party before they remember they can text me.

Atsushi really said ‘I can fix him’ and then he did

atsushi, all alone, quietly to himself: man i'd love some strawberries rn

akutagawa, breaking through the window with a box of strawberries:

atsushi:

/

atsushi on a walk, noticing an icecream guy: man i wish id bought cash. would love some ice cream

akutagawa, suddenly in front of him holding out a cone for atsushi:

atsushi:

/

atsushi, in his head: would love a mango smoothie rn

akutagawa, breaking down the wall, holding out a mango smoothie:

atsushi: with a loopy straw

akutagawa, digging through his pocket to pull one out:

atsushi: