My Sleep Schedule Changed Again. It Was 23:00 To 06:00 While I Was In School. When I Graduated, It Became

My sleep schedule changed again. It was 23:00 to 06:00 while I was in school. When I graduated, It became an alteration between 02:00 to 11:00 and 00:00 to 09:00. Now, though, it's 21:00 to 01:00

I can work on five hours of sleep. I've done or before! (I've actually worked on less, but that's not the point) Granted, though, those shifts were all only a few hours after I woke up. (I work mostly afternoons and evenings, but I have worked mornings and 12 hours)

Will I survive? Probably.

I don't think this schedule will last long, though. Not with Christmas being a few weeks away. Me and my sisters used to get up at the crack of dawn and argue over who had to wake our parents. Then, of course, my oldest sister went to college and me and my twin didn't wake up until 7. Now that we're all adults now, my sister doesn't show until about 10 and no one really wakes up/leaves their rooms until 9ish.

But, I digress.

I kinda want to fall back into the 00:00 to 09:00 schedule, but I doubt that'll happen. I've got mild insomma (not diagnosed) so it makes It hard to go to sleep and stay asleep. I can't force myself to take pills, so I got melatonin gummies to help me stay asleep. That worked for about a month.

Idk where this is going...See ya

Demeter has blessed us with a beautiful harvest this year or grapes and apples (this isn't all)

You can't say for certain that magic and magical creatures didn't exist at some point in history. You also can't prove that they don't still exist in at least a minor way. While we can't prove they never existed, we also can't prove that they ever existed. Having said that, I can prove it. I can prove with confident certainty that magic and magical creatures have and do still exist.

(Welcome to my book. It's not published yet, but I Plan on publishing it before I turn 25. I'm 20 in March. Wish me luck)

I write Fan Fix. And, as an author, this helps my self esteem a lot. I'll get comments sometimes that will bring me down. I just want to add, If someone insults your FF writing, it's because they can't write themselves and are jealous of you. So, don't give them the satisfaction. Ignore that piece of crap and move to a higher level. One they won't reach

Side Note To Fan Fic Authors

Here’s the thing.

I read a lot of scripts.  A lot.  From professionals to aspiring writers to complete newbies.  Features and pilots.  Specs and treatments.

And 8 times out of 10 the fan fic that I’ve read over the last, oh, 15 years is leagues better than this stuff.  It’s more inspired.  It’s more compelling.  It’s genre bending and creative and heartfelt.  It’s well-paced and intense and funny and sexy and meaningful.  It’s smart and thoughtful and good.  It’s novel-quality.  Better than, sometimes.

Rare is the script I don’t want to put down, but how often have we stayed up until 3am to get to the last chapter of a 100k fic? And it’s not even a fan fic author’s day job.  This is what they do on the side.  In their spare time.  For free.

So my point is, fan fic authors, you’re good.  You’re good writers and great storytellers.  I know it doesn’t always feel like it, especially if you’re one of the authors who’s not a BNF and doesn’t get the notes/hits that a few do.  And  because some people still view fic as “not real writing.” You guys know the shit that gets made into movies.  You’re better than that.  So be better than that.  If writing is what you think want to do, then just know you’re already doing it.   You’ve already started.

And you’re more talented than you might think.

Randomness that has absolutely nothing to do with anything

I have a trash bag hanging on my doorknob, because I'm a procrastinator and I'm not cleaning my room, but my twin ister comes in and she's like "What the crap is on your door?" so I respond with "My soul." So, being the the 14 year old she is, she said "Well, your soul is trash."

We both broke out laughing for about 5 minutes.

Idk if this sudden crippling fear of death is something that my Festive Depression has decided to bring along with it this year or if it's because no one is hiding the fact that they don't think my grandpa will live far into the next year, but it's doing me no favors.

Am I gonna use it as motivation? Yes

Is it gonna be looming over me and adding to my already Sky Heavy insecurities and anxieties? Also yes

I've never feared my own death before. I plan to live as long as I can because the people who don't bother with me would be disappointed if I died and I'm too much of a people pleaser to let that happen. I use myself as motivation for people to keep living, so this sudden fear that I just won't wake up one day is....scary.

I don't plan to die. If I do die, it won't be for a while. But I can't help these thoughts for some reason. They creep up on me and pull me into my own head. That's a dangerous place to be.