Enough Caffeine To Kill An Elephant

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.

So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.

Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.

Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.

At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.

Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.

Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.

The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.

The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)

Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!

Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!

"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.

Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."

"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.

"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."

"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?

"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.

"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."

"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"

Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."

"Excuses."

"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."

"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."

"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."

"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."

"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."

Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.

The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.

Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."

Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."

Storyboard Part 2

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"

Morally Grey in a World of Black and White

"Every villain is a hero in their own mind."

-Tom Hiddleston

Face down in the dirt was not an ideal way to wake up at all. Chuuya would argue that there were a million other ways an places to wake up that were better than face down in the dirt. One such example would be in a bed, maybe on his side, in a hotel. The best case would let him know where he was. As it now stood, he had no idea where the hell he was.

Normally, in a situation such as this, the logical thing to do would be to get a proper bearings and stock of the situation at hand. Gathering intel should be top priority. How one goes about doing that varies from situation to situation. However, a groan on Chuuya's left had him turning to see what was going on.

Also face down in the dirt, a few feet away, was a kid he'd never met before, but that didn't stop him from recognising him. The kid had a very monochrome colour palette for being a part of the Armed Detective Agency. Chuuya had seen the kid's picture before because of the bounty that had been on his head, and he'd seen an illusion of him at the hospital not even a week ago, but he'd never met the kid. Jinko, for that was what he knew the kid to be called, was Dazai's new protegee. Was that a good thing? Probably not, but that also lead him to hold high expectations of the kid. He was being taught by Dazai Osamu, so the kid had to be at least as skilled as Akutagawa had been when he was under Dazai!

Much like a cat, the kid stretched out on the grass as if basking in the sun before he stiffened and looked over at Chuuya. He didn't make a sound.

Chuuya smirked smugly, "Have a nice nap, Jinko?"

The kid flinched ever so slightly at something before shaking his head, "Where..?"

"No idea."

"Hm." The two let the silence take over again. They'd never interacted before now, so they didn't have much to go off of.

A quick scan of the area alerted the two to no other human presences. There didn't seem to be any animals either. It was weird. Not weird in the way that Yokohama could bost, but weird in the way that there was probably something happening around them that they couldn't figure out yet. It was kind of like the feeling that they both got when Dazai was scheming, but this was somehow worse.

Still holding the distance between themselves, the two made no move to face each other. Chuuya quietly noted the use of common sense in the detective. They'd been enemies not a week ago, but they were the only familiar thing around. Better to have their backs to each other than to the unknown around them.

Jinko hissed something that Chuuya couldn't quite make out before he was pulling him into the tree line. "What the hell?" Chuuya glared.

Jinko shushed him before whispering, "Someone's coming." And wasn't that just swell. Though, Chuuya had to admit that the kid had good instincts. He hadn't even heard anyone coming yet!

A few minutes of hiding in the bushes, there was a break in the plants opposite where the two hid and a kid with - was that green? - green hair stumbled into the clearing. They were obviously injured, but not bleeding. Honestly, they didn't look like a threat at all. As they fell to the ground and pulled out a notebook, they were seeming less like a potential threat and more like and injured bunny.

If Chuuya was confidant in his intel on the ADA, then he knew that the kid beside him would not let this injured bunny be.

Predictably, the were-tiger left the bushes to talk to the kid. Unpredictably, he kept his distance and seemed guarded in a way he hadn't been before. Was it because this green haired kid was a new variable in a new equation? Probably, but that didn't make sense. Jinko was guarded against the kid like he was ready to run, but he'd left his back open to Chuuya, a known enemy.

Enemy wasn't the right word. The Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency had a truce, but it was shaky at best. It would take a while for all parties to get out of the headspace of what was basically an attack on sight order. Hostile was a better word to use when describing their current relationship.

"Hey," the were-tiger said, his voice soft but his stance was ready for a fight.

The green haired kid startled and looked up at the grey haired kid with wide eyes. They looked ready to run and cry at the same time. It was pathetic. It would get them killed in Yokohama.

"Hey," the were-tiger tried again, this time he lowered himself to the ground with his hands up in surrender. It was a compromising position should he need to fight or run. Chuuya shook his head. Maybe Dazia wasn't doing a good job teaching the kid. "I'm a bit lost, could you help me?"

The kid relaxed a bit when Jinko didn't come any closer to him. "Y-yeah. You're in Musutafu in the Chubu Prefecture of Japan."

That...was not where Chuuya last remembered being. He was fairly certain that that wasn't were Jinko last remembered being, either. The situation just got a bit more complicated.

To Jinko's credit, he took the information in stride. "Huh. Cool. I've never been here before," he said, "Could you tell me more about it?"

The green haired kid was almost completely relaxed now and Jinko risked scooting closer. The kid made no move to get away, so Chuuya made himself comfortable. He had the feeling this was going to be a long conversation.

~~~

Atsushi really wanted to wake up from whatever not-dream he was having now. He was certain that he'd fallen asleep in the closet last night after bid Kyoka a good night. So how in world had he gotten here?! And with Nakahara-san of all people! He was glad that the Port Mafia Executive hadn't attacked him when his back was turned. He was also a bit relieved to realize that they were both confused about what was going on.

The kid with green - honest to god, the kid had green hair! - hair was helpful, if not skittish. Not that Atsushi could blame them. Though, they were very forthcoming with information, so that was a good thing. It was a good thing that could get them killed in Yokohama.

Nakahara-san had stayed hidden in the bushes while he talked to the kid. He was glad for that. He'd never officially met Nakahara-san, but he'd heard stories from Dazai and whisper's in dark alleyways. Nakahara-san was a force to be reckoned with and Atsushi was beyond glad that they weren't currently trying to kill or otherwise maim each other.

To Atsushi, Nakahara-san was an intimidating person. He couldn't imagine how this kid would feel should the man come out of hiding suddenly.

Either way, he was gathering information from his only current source. He found out where they were, what time it was, a basic layout of the surrounding area, and some landmarks to look for. Most of it was tourist stuff, but it would be useful to him nonetheless. He wasn't anywhere near being a good detective and was still technically an intern at the Agency, but he'd read enough books as a kid - when he could - and asked Kunikida enough questions to know a bit of what he was doing.

He also was given some extra information that he hadn't been after. The kid's - male, he'd realized and quietly confirmed - name was Midoriya and he was in his final year before high school. Smart of the kid to not give away his first name. It was a Friday and schools in the Chubu prefecture had just let out for the weekend.

"I better get going," Midoriya gathered his things and stood up. Atsushi did so as well. "My mom will be wondering where I am soon.

"I understand," Atsushi smiled. He really didn't, but that would only bring up uncomfortable questions that he didn't really have enough training to lie his way through. "Have a safe trip home."

"I will, thank you, Nakajima-san," the kid bowed, "You as well!" Then he was gone.

It was quiet for a minute before the bushes behind him rustled. He didn't bother turning around because he knew who was at his back. Was this a good show of trust? He'd find out in a minute.

"Nice job, were-tiger." Nakahara-san walked closer to him, "I guess they are teachin' ya something at the ADA."

Now is when he turned to face the Port Mafia Executive. "Thanks, Nakahara-san."

The man raised an eyebrow. "How'd ya know my name?"

He shrugged minutely to feign indifference. "Dazai-san likes to talk when he's procrastinating."

Nakahara-san huffed a laugh, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Another bout of quiet overtook them as the sun set. Finally, Atsushi said, "We're a bit away from home."

"Yeah."

Yokohama was their home. They worked against each other in the past, and are likely to in the future, but Yokohama was their home. It was their place to protect and serve in their own ways. Yokohama was also an independent city-state. It's boarders had been closed long before they'd even been born. Based on what Midoriya had said, they were very much outside of Yokohama. They didn't know what could get them killed here.

"Have you ever been outside the boarders?" Atsushi asked. He suddenly felt very small as he wrapped his arms around his torso and sunk into himself a bit.

"Never." Nakahara-san answered. He suddenly didn't seem as imposing as before.

"Oh."

Storyboard Part 2

Apparently, I forgot that The Flash and Green Arrow fought. Flash won.

Now that I've rediscovered that little tidbit, and I'm procrastinating on sleep, here's a list of Batman fighting other heroes (a loose term that is) and who won! (All canon, btw)

Batman vs. Superman - Batman

Batman vs. Spawn - Spawn

Batman vs. Nightwing - Nightwing

Batman vs. Green Lantern (Guy) - Batman

Batman vs. Aquaman - Aquaman

Batman vs. Batgirl - Batman

Batman vs. Batgirl - Batgirl

Batman vs. Wildcat - Tie

Batman vs. Catwoman - Catwoman

Batman vs. Jonah Hex - Jonah

Bruce Batman vs. Jean-Paul Batman - Bruce

Batman vs. Robin (Damian) - Robin

Batman vs. Hawkman - Hawkman

Batman vs. Wonder Woman - Wonder Woman

Batman vs. Red Hood - Red Hood

Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Batman

Batman vs. Master Splinter - Tie (I'm pretty sure)

I was gonna round it out evenly with Batman fighting all of his kids, but I can't find him fighting Steph (not his kid, but his kid), Tim or Duke.

I might add to this, I might not. Please do leave Hero v. Hero fights in the comments, though, I wanna see who wins

RESPECT ALL ASPEC IDENTITIES EVEN IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEM

Get this message onto everyone’s dash rn

I made a pride flag for myself, I hope you will enjoy it too ♡