So, I Decided To Finally Make Danny's Coffee Order For Enough Caffeine To Kill An Elephant.

So, I decided to finally make Danny's coffee order for Enough Caffeine To Kill An Elephant.

The average weight of a female elephant is between 7,700 and 9,000 pounds. I decided to use the higher number because it's funnier.

Anyway, I did a quick weight to caffeine search and the second result said 5 milligrams to 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds because I'm American)

Taking the 9,000 lbs weight of an elephant and translating it into kilograms gave me 4,050 kilograms. What I did from there was multiply the caffeine to the weight to get how much caffeine would be in Phantom's coffee.

20,250 milligrams of caffeine to 4,050 kilograms of elephant.

Holy shit.

Maybe we should try harder to keep that particular recipe from Tim....and the living world as a whole

Dick, Tim, Damian, Wally, Bart, Konner, and Jon are all hanging out.

Wally: "Who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?"

Dick: "Batman."

Konner and Jon: "Superman."

Damian: "Batman would obviously win if they fought."

Bart: "Literally how? Superman can not only fly, but he's got super strength , invulnerability, lazer eyes, and ice breath! Batman's got what, a fancy car and a grabbling hook?"

Tim: "Did you guys seriously never look into any of the Justice League heroes?"

Wally: "No...why would we need to?"

Tim: "....Superman and Batman have already fought."

Konner and Dick: "What!?"

Jon: "Who won?"

Tim: "Batman."

Bart: "No way."

Damian: "I told you father would win."

Wally: "How?"

Tim: "B's got contingency plans for his contingency plans. You really think he didn't find a way to, at the very least, contain Superman the second he learned about him?"

Konner: "Well, yeah, we all know he does. But that doesn't answer how."

Tim: "Ask Lois or Wonder Woman, they were both there."

Dick: "Not Alfred?"

Tim: "You really think he would've let B beat up Superman?"

It's not a coincidence that aromantic and aromatic are only one letter off.

I've never met an aro that didn't smell good

Why didn't I do this before?

Danny: *introduces a spicy piece of lore that others would call trauma (not to be confused with ✨trauma✨)*

Dick, wondering what the hell happened to the sunshine incarnate before he showed up on his apartment: Say sike. Say sike right the fuck now."

Danny 'I'm not a therapist, that's my sister Fenton': "Um...sike?"

Dick '21 is too young for grey hairs!' Grayson: "There isn't nearly enough alcohol-!"

Tim, watching this all go down from Drake Manor via security cameras he had Danny put up: Is this...a best friend?

Danny: *trauma dumps like he's talking about the weather*

Constantine: "Say sike. Say sike right the fuck now."

Danny: "Um....sike?"

Constantine, forgoing his flask in favor of a bottle of vodka: "There isn't nearly enough alcohol-!"

I love the Demon Twins AU

But now that someone's told me about Respawn, I wanna see him more, too

They've just come by again. They saw me, slowed down, and just kept going.

I think they're waiting for me to leave and are circling the building.

Should I tell them I'm here till 5? And that either the door will close or someone will be here to replace me?

Nah.

I'm at a credentialed entrance. Everyone has to have one of 5 credentials to come down here today. This is roughly the exact conversation I just had with two kids. (It's a sloped tunnel and they're on scooters)

"Do you have credentials?"

"Can we go down there?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Because you need credentials."

"What's going on?"

"There's an event here tomorrow, so they're loading it in."

"Oh. Can we just ride down the slope? Go look at the set up?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because you need credentials."

"Where do we get credentials?"

"The white tent over there had a list of names. They all get credentials."

*someone walks by* "Well, why does she get to go in?"

"Because she has credentials."

"What's the event? Is it a rave."

"Nope; Skateboarding."

"Can we go ride the track?"

"Nope. Ya need credentials."

"Is Tony Hawk gonna be here?"

"Probably." It's his event.

"Well, my dad owns the venue. Can I go in?"

"You need credentials."

"My dad's Tony Hawk."

"I don't care. You need credentials."

"My dad owns this lot."

"You need credentials."

"Can we get in tomorrow?"

"With a ticket, yes."

"Do the tickets cost money?"

"Probably."

"We're gonna go get our credentials."

And that was the last I saw them. 20 minutes ago.