Goth Flowers Appreciation Post

Goth flowers appreciation post

a stop on the road to nowhere

whoops, didnt see the rest of the other anons. last person was unnecessarily ableist; popped up onto my feed and i just thought id swing by and be nice. others gotta learn its their feed, nd while triggers are triggers you didnt go after that one folk in particular so i dont know why theyre so pressed. just block or try to educate. stay safe brother

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yEAHhh wEIRD sTUFF WEnT dOWn, lIKE a cLAN oF nASTY TROLL-GOBLINS 🧌🕳️ trIPPED inTO oUR REALm oR SomEThINg??? 🌀👀 WEEEEll, our wOrds aRe lIkE a cryptiC mURmuR frOM a spAce-bEYOND sPACES 🌌🔍—not eVErYONe’s gONna deCIPHER thAT gLiTcHy dAnce we DO 🕺🚦 but DIdN’T KnOw thE VibEs cOuLD sET oFF SeIzUrEs!! 😵💫 so—tagged thE SpiNny, sParKy POSTs nOw ⚡🎯 to KEEp THosE wHo wAnT sAFE! laST thiNG wE wANt is TO hurT aNYoNE wiTh Our sTREam of WOrD-sOUP 🍜💥 hOpe thE wOrld gETs moRe unDeRsTANdinG tOO. wE’rE aLL oN ThIs CIRCUS riDe! 🎪✨

in my experience, faking it until you make it is the trick. there's much talk in manifesting about "living in the dream fulfilled, ignoring the 4D" etc; that's all a lot easier with the structure of your own brain where there's nothing else to dispute it.

operate at all times from the base assumption you're already plural and just figuring things out. pick who's fronting, and devote all your energy to thinking and acting as they would in every situation. even if you need to mask for IRL, think of how they'd go about it and what they'd think while doing it. if you think something unrelated, it's passive influence from another headmate, known or unknown. if you feel like one person, you're just blurry. don't deny your denial, either; even the most cis of plurals doubts themselves. just continue in your affirmation. make the game feel good to play, and you'll never want to stop playing it.

if that's what you want, anyway. desire is the only truth of self.

best wishes. 🪞

surprising lack of typing quirk /light hearted (but for some reason very formal? not sure why that's occuring lol)

(sorry for length if its overwhelming! we get carried away talking about plurality)

Thank you! Faking it till we make it is what we've been trying/doing, unfortunately we struggle with a brain that is as skeptically ingrained as the protagonist of a horror film who moves into a clearly haunted mansion claiming ghosts aren't real, when a ghost is posessing them. We are trying to push past it, but its hard to just let go. It feels like how we still get intrusive thoughts about internalized bigotry despite having spent years knowing that its wrong, but it was and still is taught to us. Wish we could throw out the "logical" bits and start anew but we know that's not how it works. Our main difficulties are knowing how to stop it, we guess we just try to avoid thinking about it.

hope you don't mind the questions, these are asked with not an expectation of an answer ^^.

so we already read this whole message and are responding to the part near the end first, if we follow this, seeing ourselves as already plural, in the example of seeing yourself as blurry instead of one person, do plurals see themselves as not one person? Well we mean we know like they know they are plural and have other members, but does that effect each member to identify as multiple people instead of one identity they see as themself (like for example if we see ourself as Z1M at our core, and currently see the person fronting as Z1M, would we still identify with a lack of singularity? That also leads to a contunie querie of is it better to start with the idea we are not just "Z1M" fronting but our headmates as well? (B1Ll, J3RM & 5p0ng3), we think we have a huge roadblock with like stopping seeing ourself as our core, with being an auditorium where we have non sentient "spectators" that don't interact with us, only eachother and watch us, therefor that and also the default narrative around us is singleness is the norm has us in a position of, "i" am Z1M, and the "host", the "core" the "main fronter", we've had this even throughout our whole time spent in system servers. How do we get rid of the idea that we, z1m are the spotlight, the center? Think our difficulties with having spent most of our life also isolated and struggling with the lack of control, we now have difficulties surrendering the idea with the concept of losing our privacy, or our own autonomy. Mostly privacy is a big issue, hell we even get embarrassed around our *spectators* who literally aren't sentient. (and also we are fine keeping the spectators, not turning them into headmates, as they work differently and also we have a dependency on how we function as an auditorium, never gone a single day without having spectators).

Second, if we are, and always have been plural, do we fully go with erasing our previos lack of identity to ourself and others? like "lie" (which we are fine with doing) to others about being truly plural?

Third, Is it ok if you're energy is very low, due to disability of bodymind? if you're horrible at knowing how to think as others, and are just sorta flailing around for anything? Anyway that's all for the questions! Again no pressure to answer, we'll just leave em' out in the open!

Thanks so much for the advice! (mirror anon?)

mirror anon works. and no worries, i also enjoy rambling about plurality.

to preface: there really isn't a right or wrong way to be plural. every system has their own answers for these questions, and having a different one from others doesn't make you wrong or less of a system. my answers come from our personal perspective as a cisplural system who had to do a lot of faking it before any of it started to make sense.

you don't need to feel like "separate people" straight off the bat - or at all. in addition, systems where only the core fronts are not uncommon and are still systems. if it's more comfortable and less privacy-invading to think of your headmates as different versions of or pieces of you, that's perfectly valid. you may have more luck working on talking to them internally or through a proxy like discord or simplyplural chat at first rather than having them front. we just personally found the opposite easier, for our own internal structure reasons.

you don't need to lie or erase your previous explaination of reality. if you want to, go ahead - but i've found it's easier to go with the path of least resistence on these things. you can just frame it as "realizing that you're a system." even cisDID systems go through long periods of denial and repression, so it's not at all unreasonable to "suddenly" become a system.

flailing around is fine too. it's really more of a vibes thing, really. if one headmate is supposed to be more cheerful, acting more cheerful. if one is supposed to like a certain food or hobby or something, indulging in that when they're front and avoiding it when they're not. etc. even that can be overcomplicating it - changing your icon or using a typing quirk or such are all effective tactics as well. it's really just whatever helps you&.

to be blunt: from our perspective, with everything you've already said, you are already plural. more on the median side, but there's nothing lesser about that. if you'd prefer to be more separate, or have more of you, that's an option, but you don't need to distance yourself from the label because you don't have those things yet. try out different things and see what makes you(&) feel comfortable. best of luck. 🪞

Ah thank you! yea sometimes even tho we know plurality is an entire spectrum we don't give the same leniency to ourselves.

ohh we didn't know that that was a way you could be plural in, like seeing them as different versions of yourself, which in our current situation would prob be a good starting point cause we already see our other selves as past/alternate lives of ourself and identify as them all at once (tho with others being more prominent like z1m and b1ll) like we go by a name that refers to all 4 of us and beyond, but it's become less in time ourself and more like a mask, cause ppl don't get it when we tell them we are z1m and the others so we just say we are "insert name". We aren't sure it even is a core, the core or whatever that is could’ve been somebody else, are memories are too bad to recall clearly. We do have pluralkit in our personal discord servers, but haven't used it much. maybe we'll start trying ^^.

ohh that makes sense. we have been "out" and then back in the "closet" with telling our mom we are plural, then singlet. then plural lol so she's used to the routine.

alrighty, we have like concepts tied to our headmates now already, like z1m is surreal, types with a mix of lowercase and uppercase, and b1ll uses lots of these' things' you add onto' the end of a word, and caps for emphasis, sponge is cheerful and optimistic while b1ll is very pessimistic, z1m is like both at the same time, and we don't know what Jerm is in that comparison but we associate it with clowns. there is associations with our name we tell others like winter, white, blood, owls, fog.

ahhh thank youuu again

we've actually been told that each time we've asked for other plural ppls honest opinions with our descriptions and each time ppl told us we were likely plural median. we aren't sure if we wanna be fully separate, we like the idea of being a bunch of versions of us, still treated as mostly one entity but regonized that we aren't the same as a singlet. and us changing who we are at the moment being natural and fluid.

we will keep testing the waters and see how deep we can go! ^^