I've Finally Resurrected From The Ashes And Reactivated My Old Blog. Though, It's Been A Long Time And

i've finally resurrected from the ashes and reactivated my old blog. though, it's been a long time and now i seem to have forgotten how things worked around here - but that's alright, we'll relearn the ropes along the way.

my fandoms, priorities and hfx's have changed significantly, so i'll do my best to keep traces of my old things while i try to make this experience more comfortable.

just got a date for valentine’s, no one hmu

MINSUNGIN X MAHAGRID

friends to lovers tropes

because i am a sucker for this trope

their parents being their biggest shippers (it’s so cute oh my goddd)

^ them telling their parents they’re dating and they’re like really happy and stuff and then “oh B you aren’t allowed at sleepovers anymore btw” (queue a whiny come onnnnn)

them + their friends going on a trip or something , so A has to room with one friend and B with the other. butttt their friends are dating so they beg them to switch and. they end up having to room together (but there’s only one bed hmmm)

“you’re such an idiot” “i’m a cute idiot, you said so yourself”

them playing a game together, it’s like their thing, but after they start dating A starts going easier on B, not calling them out on all the rules they’re breaking etc, and B says “why are you going easy on me” “well because-“ “name. i love your competitive cocky self, bring it back”

“my sister thinks that we’re dating” “my parents think that we’re dating” “our teacher thinks that we’re dating” “wait really?” “why do you think we aren’t allowed to sit together anymore?” “because you keep staring at me during class dumbass”

A dropping very very obvious hints but of course, B is oblivious as fuck so they don’t realise, and when A leaves all their friends are like “HOW STUPID ARE YOU???”

^ “HEY what did i do” “A literally just went on an entire rant about how their parents won’t be home next week and kept asking you what you’re doing that day and-” “oh that’s just because A wants help with homewo- oh my god i am so stupid”

making out and having to hide in the other’s room when someone walks in

also that thing when A’s parents are going out of town and they tell B to go to their home and take care of A like…if only they knew

“you could’ve had me in 3rd grade by the way”

goofy make out sessions please like with the clumsy laughing and just being so comfortable with each other and randomly kissing each other but not long enough because both of them are too busy giggling (please oh my god)

“you remember when in 8th grade you gave me that list of reasons why i’m your best friend for my birthday? yeah. since then”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW GODDAMN HARD IT IS HAVING A CRUSH ON SOMEONE AND NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO IT ABOUT BECAUSE ITS ABOUT THEM???” “YES. I DO. I ABSOLUTELY DO ITS HORRIBLE TRUST ME I KNOW”

^also later them being smug “so you had a crush on me hm?” “as if you didn’t” “is it because i’m absolutely irresistible?” (“no, it’s because you’re an idiot, and i can’t imagine life without you”)

Hey if you're not physically disabled and just ND, please don't say "cr*ppling," or any variations thereon, since it's ableist toward physically disabled people. "Disabling," and "incapacitating," are two better words to use instead.

(It took me a while to figure it out; anon was bothered by this post.)

Okay, sure, I’ll try to do that. That said, I want to encourage people engaged in anti-ableism efforts that take the form of asking people not to use certain words to put their energies elsewhere. Firstly, I think they make the disability advocacy community inaccessible to a lot of people, since having to relearn which words are “allowed” is overwhelming and particularly difficult for people who have limited access to words in the first place.

Secondly, every time I’ve seen this implemented it…hasn’t made anyone less ableist? People who scrupulously remove “crazy” from their vocabulary in favor of “irrational” still treat the people they’re talking about like unpersons. Often the recommended replacement words are just as good at suggesting “less valuable person” as the words they replaced. I think there’s some value in asking “does our use of words surrounding disability to mean ‘bad thing’ come from a place of treating disabled people like tragedies?” and often it does, but that doesn’t mean that challenging that mindset is as easy as changing out the words. Thirdly, I think it emphasizes the wrong concerns. I saw a newspaper headline the other day saying “the president’s plan will be a crippling blow to the economy” and one about the “crippling burden of student debt”. I’d think that the fact the president’s plan includes making it harder to get SSI, or the fact disabled students are way less likely to graduate and likelier to end up in debt, is a much more urgent problem than the turn of phrase used in the headline. 

Lastly, it seems like the anti-words advocacy often pretends at a false consensus in disability activism. There are physically disabled people who are bothered by that newspaper headline and those who are not. There are mentally ill people who are bothered by use of crazy and some who couldn’t care less. But no one ever says “hey, that word bothers me personally because people have used it to be mean to me”, they say “it’s ableist towards physically disabled people,” as if all physically disabled people agree on this (or as if the ones who disagree are just obviously confused poor souls and don’t merit a mention). “There are physically disabled people who dislike the phrase ‘crippling anxiety’ and there are physically disabled people who don’t care and there are physically disabled people who have, themselves, described their anxiety as crippling” is much more accurate, but less compelling.

han ✮ skz talker s3ep10