Insecure

insecure

warnings: angst, super slight fluff, slight mention of suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression, cursing, reader gets slightly injured

a/n: i know i’ve written a lot of depressing shit, so i apologize and i’ll try to make happier imagines that are fluffy. just feeling down a lot now and i feel like the dent in a perfect new car and everybody is judging me. it’s whatever. enjoy!

masterlist

I stared into the mirror, judging my reflection. You’re fat and ugly. No one will ever like you. You don’t fit in. 

It’s true, I don’t fit in. I always feel out of place with my supposed friends, and even in my family. I couldn’t believe that I was dating Tom Holland, Spider-Man. He chose me over Zendaya and all the other beautiful women, but why? You’re just a charity case. He doesn’t really care for you. He’s using you.

I quickly shifted my eyes away from the reflecting glass, sniffing away the tears, wiping any stowaway ones. Tom would be coming home at any moment, and I can’t show any signs of weakness.

Not many moments later, I heard the familiar click of the door.

“Y/N, darling? I’m home,” he placed his keys on the golden-coloured wall rack. I rushed down the stairs, keeping my composure, “Tommy!” I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, “How was work today? Did you have a good time?”

“Work was great and tiring. Of course, I had a good time, love, but I missed you,” Tom frowned. I giggled at his adorable gesture, kissing him once again.

“Well, I’ll go make you some tea, and you can go wash up and rest. Love you,” our noses touched.

“Mhm,” he sighed in satisfaction. “Love ya too, darling.”

I unwrap my arms from his neck and walk to the kitchen to make his tea, as promised.

I set the tea kettle onto the stove, setting the heat to a medium. The steam slowly started to flow out of the spout, and the whistling started to increase. I turned down the heat, making sure the tea wouldn’t splash out.

After waiting for another 5 minutes, I grabbed the kettle off the stove, forgetting to turn off the fire, causing me to burn myself.

“Ah, shit,” I let go of the kettle and run over to the sink, running my hand under cold water. You finally got what you deserved, you bitch.

As I stood at the sink, still keeping my hand cool, I heard footsteps coming from the staircase. I quickly pulled my hand out of the water, hissing in pain. I hid my hand behind my back, turning off the fire with my good hand. My right, and burnt, hand was throbbing. The pain was spreading through my arm.

“Is the tea ready?” Tom asked excitedly. I smiled and gave him a fake giggle, “Yeah, it’s just cooling. Go sit down, I get you a cup.” He walked out of the kitchen, his bareback muscles clenching.

“Fuck!” I whispered, silently slamming my left hand on the counter. I walked to the fridge, grabbing an ice pack to put on my red, swollen hand.

“Love? You doing alright in there?” Tom asked from the couch. I hurriedly grabbed a cup and attempted to pour the tea into it, but failed miserably, “Ah, dammit!” The hot tea spilt all over my legs and feet, burning them too.

Tom rushed into the room to see me crying and covered in hot tea, “Oh my god, baby, are you okay? Please stay calm,” I sobbed in pain and idiocy. You’re a fucking idiot. Failure as well. You should just die. You deserve to kill yourself most painfully ever. Everybody would be happier without you.

“Darling? I’m going to call the ambulance, stay still,” I heard him dial and number on his phone, hearing the loud ringing. I felt numb from the pain. Maybe everyone would be happier without me. Maybe I wasn’t important. Maybe I do deserve to die. Maybe I shou-

“Y/N, love, the ambulance is on their way. Stay with me,” Tom held me closer, pushing me against his hard muscles, “I feel tired,” my eyes fluttering from opened to closed.

“Darling, just try and stay awake, please,” Tom spoke, attempting to give me energy. “Look at the pretty forest! Sparkles, Tommy, there’s sparkles!” Then, darkness.

Dear do you write for male readers?

I’d gladly try and I’m sure I could 🖤

update 🖤

I’m so sorry for not posting part 2 of moonlight, but I got sick and then I didn’t use my laptop for this whole week because my father took it away, so I think I’m just going to type it on my phone. I’ll try to get it up by the end of this week. thank you for bearing with me 🥰

masterlist

Y/N pouting because Tom stole her jar of cookies: you suck

Tom: you swallow... and choke

Y/N literally chokes (on her spit):

Tom winks at her:

☽ masterlist ☽

all rights reserved © tomthesoftie - do not repost without credit, translate, or claim as your own

angst - ✧

fluff - ☼

nsfw - ☆

☁︎ requests are closed ☁︎

✴︎ masterlist deux ✴︎

❖ prompt list ❖

T O M    H O L L A N D

B L U R B S / O N E - S H O T S

karma ☼ | tom makes a joke that doesn’t end in his favour

i don’t even know you anymore ✧ | your relationship with tom goes downhill, but will fate reignite this love?

insecure ✧ | self-consciousness can be a bitch sometimes, and when tom comes home, it has to act out

i didn’t do it ✧ ☼ ☆ | tom is left to supervise the Holland household, but something goes wrong

slurp ☼ | tom gets slurped

holiday friendliness ☼ | you are enjoying your day when you literally bump into tom (tom x male!reader)

english terms ☼ | tom uses english terminology during your family dinner, leaving you and your family confused

blessing ☼ ☆ | y/n gets locked out of the house naked and a perverted tom just happens to be there

mystery skater ☼ | tom is awestruck by a gorgeous mystery woman at the rink

dominance ☼ | y/n gets caught recording tom singing and tries to get her phone back

falling ✧ ☼ | tom goes through a harsh breakup with y/n and everything’s going downhill

sex playlist ☼ ☆ | y/n finds out about a little secret tom kept from her

the clouds ☼ | tom admires y/n in her peaceful state

shitty days ✧ ☼ | y/n isn’t feeling herself for a few days. all goes wrong for her

protective ✧ ☼ | y/n is tom’s sister and in a relationship with a clout chaser

late night cuddles ☼ | y/n has a nightmare and tommy is there to help her... with cuddles

why ☼ | tom comforts y/n through her the rise of skywalker depression 

pregnant ✧ ☼ | y/n holland has a pregnancy scare

quarantine ☼ | self-isolation with tommy boy

lover of mine ✧ ☼ | frat!tom took his relationship with y/n for granted, but can he fix it?

this is awkward ☼ ☆ | tom and y/n get caught mid-love making

trick shot fail ☼ | tom accidentally hurts y/n while practicing trick shots

cake ☼ | tom loves cakes, especially y/n’s

what do you want to eat ☼ | tom has a slight slip up and doesn’t realize he said he wanted to eat y/n

my fault ✧ ☼ | mob!tom leaves y/n alone at a party unprotected and she encounters a problem

15 months, wasted ✧ ☼ | y/n is cheated on by her former partner and goes to tom for comfort

i won’t say i’m in love ☼ | y/n learns to accept her feelings for tom after being heartbroken by another

man child ☼ | soft moments with y/n and soft!mob!child!tom

pillow talk ☼ | tom and y/n can’t sleep

cruel envy v.1 v.2 ✧ ☼ | fwb!tom fell in love with y/n even though it was against the rules *two different pov: ‘her’ and ‘you’* 

during conferences ☆ | mob!tom getting naughty during his meetings

irreplaceable ✧ ☼ | y/n accidentally break something of mob!tom’s and becomes worried that he’ll be mad at her

at peace ✧ | as a contract killer, y/n is trained to a high extent but what if it all goes wrong and her life comes crashing down

plank over me ☼ ☆ | y/n has an idea for tom and her to attempt but it takes a steamy turn *mild smut*

sweaty tease ☼ | after a hot day gardening, y/n needs to shower but tom wants cuddles

birthday sex ☆ | y/n surprises thomas with some morning birthday sex

taken for granted ✧ ☼ | y/n hears mob!tom talking about her behind her back and feels betrayed / hurt

in each other’s arms ☼ | y/n and tom were enemies ever since childhood. they get locked in a room together with no way out. cold and late at night, they have nothing to do but sleep

you lied angst ending fluff ending ✧ ☼ | mob!tom is kindest person y/n has ever met, but when it comes to tom’s job, he’s ruthless. y/n doesn’t know this, though. tom tried to prevent her from ever knowing, but one day... *alternate endings*

oral lesson ☆ | y/n leads tom through oral sex

missing him  ✧ | tom left to film cherry for 4 months and hasn’t contacted y/n, his girlfriend, since. she doesn’t react well to this *eventual fluff*

stay away from me ✧ | mob!tom’s horny ass takes any chance of a good fuck, sadly, it isn’t with you  

the worst of you ✧ | “give me the worst of you ‘cause i’ll want you anyway” in which you are in a toxic relationship with frat!tom

their suspicions ☼ | harry, haz, and tuwaine begin to notice a change between you and tom, so they come up with a plan. make tom jealous

the three words ✧ ☼ | fwb!tom let’s the three forbidden words i love you slip out in his state of euphoria and hurts his best friend, y/n

for the best ✧ | richkid!tom had a past relationship with a girl he was in love with. the love was mutual, but you came in a broke them apart. you begin to notice your faults and put tom ahead of you, although tom may not agree with this decision

cocky head ☆ | y/n and frat!tom are shoved in a closet together when tom “second head” needs release

fractured trust and broken friendships ✧ | to keep up his reputation, tom manipulates y/n, his best friend. one day, she runs late to school and overhears tom boasting about it *panic attack warning*

a stupid mistake ✧ ☼ | “This wasn’t an argument between to lovers anymore; it was an interrogation between a surprised victim and the devil.” mob!tom 

failed surprises ✧ ☼ | left alone for days, waiting for her mobster boyfriend to come back from his “business trip,” y/n loses contact with tom and worry overpowers her logic

skin ‘n teeth ☆ ✧ | “bite me” mob!tom x brat!reader

exam motivation drabble ☼ | there isn’t really a story to this. really, it’s, hopefully, a motivator for students, whatever age, to work hard in school and life. i hope this helps you destress and find your comfortable environment to study in. *destress blurb* 

two-for-one reward ☆ ☼ | hard work always pays off, and the reward always varies mob!tom 

her hidden crystal tears ✧ | keeping a relationship under covers isn’t an easy feat. when a popular, successful jock of a college, who has many obsessive fans, dates an average student, they decide that it’s better to keep their relationship secret due to safety reasons, but when the jock starts to become more ignorant of how their s/o is feeling, what might happen to their barely stable relationship? jock!tom 

let them flow ✧ ☼ | after the collapsing of an unhealthy relationship, each side begins to improve and thrive, one for the other, one for themselves. coincidentally, they meet at the same dreaded party that led to the breaking of their relationship. will this unfortunate series of events lead them to opportunity? (alt. ending to her hidden crystal tears) jock!tom

bilateral contracts ☆ ✧ | a relationship turned contract… or has the relationship always been a contract? no longer does it matter, just kiss and make break up koh!tom

M U L T I - C H A P T E R

stay with me, please pt.1 pt.2 ✧ | tom doesn’t know his girlfriend had depression ever since she was a child, until one day something goes terribly wrong *suicide warning*

moonlight pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 ✧ | the king of hell ignores his significant other for weeks and is caught flirting with other girls, how will y/n react? *indefinite hiatus*

admitting pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 ☼ | enemies to lovers!tom falls for the girl that he despises and that despises him, but he won’t admit it, to himself or her *hiatus*

laundry day pt.1 pt.2 ✧ ☼ ☆ | y/n has a shitty day and goes to the library in very skimpy clothes because it’s laundry day *eventual smut*

is this seat taken pt.1 pt.2 ✧ ☼ ☆ | y/n is just trying to enjoy her art class, but frat!tom has to come and ruin it *eventual smut*

cheesy spoilers pt.1 pt.2  ☼ | tom can’t help it when he spoils things, so spoiling his valentine’s gift isn’t a surprise

nothing can go wrong teaser pt.1 ✧ ☼ ☆ | “i have a proposition to make. get your tutor to fall in love with you.” *eventual smut* frat!fuckboy!tom x tutor!reader

the right decision pt.1 pt.2 ✧ | you and tom grew up together but always as enemies — nothing more, nothing less. as you grow older, you must realize it’s time to be mature. you either must throw tom out of your life or take him in as an ally. which will you choose? prince!tom x princess!reader

her blood-stained bodysuit pt.1 pt.2 ✧ ☼ | all you wanted was to help your mobster boyfriend. you never expected your plan to go all wrong and result in failure. when you return home with blood soaking your suit and drying in your hair, how does Tom react? mob!tom x assassin!reader

I N C O R R E C T   Q U O T E S

jar of cookies ☆ | dirty joke 

ho ho, the mistletoe ☼ | tom being a shy baby 

blindfolds ☼ ☆ | y/n and tom being a kinky couple

sex is like math ☆ | math, but sexual

i want to be more ☼ | tom’s proposal

graduation reward ☆ | reward for graduating

P E T E R    P A R K E R

B L U R B S / O N E - S H O T S

getting to your head ☼ | y/n gets called a slut and peter’s there to comfort her

I N C O R R E C T   Q U O T E S

thicc bih ☼ | anthony stark and stephen strange concerned for their son

stay with me, please | pt.2

warnings: mentions of SELF-HARM, talks about attempting SUICIDE, depression, language, angst, heartbreak

a/n: please do NOT read this if you are sensitive on the topics in listed above. I do not support the topics. if you feel alone, call the suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255. please remember that you are loved, and when times get tough, it’s just a rough patch in your life, but it’ll be over with soon. look on the bright side of things. treat yourself with love and care. i love you all ♡

*i personally have never had an experience on this topic, but a very close friend of mine has, she took therapy and is better than ever now. feel free to talk to me by clicking ‘ask me anything.’ i myself have suffered from depression. i tried to cut myself and was only able to cut my fingertip. i have a habit of not eating a lot of food and trying to stay quiet, not to attract attention to myself. nobody knows about it, not even my family or close friends. sometimes i feel alone in this world, but then i remember that there are people out there that love me. it’s hard, i know, but stay strong, my lovelies, i know it’ll get better. i will make a post just on this because i’ve typed too much of this on my lil’ fic here, which have more parts to come, so enjoy!*

masterlist

pt.1 | pt. 2

You awoke to the bright lights shining in your eyes. You tried to lift your arm to cover your eyes, but it didn’t work.

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Tom’s sounded tired.

You tried your hardest to turn your head to face him, but it didn’t work.

“Woah! Slow down, you haven’t healed yet. You’re still too weak. You’ll feel like you’re paralyzed only for an hour, so don’t worry. Here, let me help you.” His soft hands gently turn your head to face him.

He looks so tired like he hasn’t gotten any sleep. The dark under eye bags proving that he didn’t get any sleep. Tom was slouched over, gripping onto the hospital bed for support.

“Tom,” You were able to croak out, “Go sit down, you’re too weak. It’s okay.” He nodded his head and unsteadily walks back to the chair.

“Why?” Tom asked, sadness washing over his dull eyes.

“What?” You were confused.

“Why would you try to k-,” He struggled to get the word out. It was too painful to think about your limp body lying on the white tiled floor of the bathroom.

“Kill yourself,” He finally got it out. Tears started to fill his eyes.

I made him cry. I’m an idiot. I deserved to die. Why’d he have to save me? I’m just a waste of time.

“Please don’t cry, especially over me. I’m a waste of time, of effort.” You said quietly.

“No, you’re not! You aren’t a waste of time or effort! I love you! So fucking much as well! You don’t know how many people love you! Did you ever think about how the people around you would feel?! How I’d-,” He yelled, but you cut him off.

“You’re wasting your time yelling at me. Like I said if I had died, no one would have noticed and I would’ve been better off. You wouldn’t have to be here, wasting your breath. Look, Tom. You need to move on, to find someone better, like Zendaya. She’s so much better for you. It’s healthier for you to leave me,” You gave up on trying to speak loudly. Your voice was only a little over a whisper.

“No! You don’t get to choose what’s right for me! I love you, Y/N! You can’t just throw me away because you think you aren’t worth it! So listen up, I love you, and I won’t be leaving you anytime soon!” He demanded.

“If you won’t leave me, then I’ll have to leave you.” You sighed, trying your hardest to shake your head.

“No-,” you cut him off, “Tom, you can’t keep following after me, picking up all of my mishaps. You have to move on. I love you, and you mean the world to me, but it’s time that I go. So please, let go, I beg of you.” Tom’s eyes started to water, and his lips started to quiver.

Dammit, you made him cry, again.

“Please go, Thomas,” hearing you say his real name shocked him. He didn’t know what to do. You never said his real name, only Tommy, Tommo, Tom, and other nicknames.

“N-No, I can’t. I can’t,” he fell to his knees and started sobbing.

The tears rolled down his face rapidly as he kneeled there. His hands clenched into fists, continuously pounding the hospital floors.

The sound must’ve been heard by the doctor because the next thing you knew, they were standing at the door. They saw what was causing the noise, and you sympathetically looked over to the doctor, as if you were asking them to escort Tom out of the building. They nodded and continued onto their job. Somehow, the doctors were able to convince Tom to get up and exit your room.

You silently cried as you watched Tom get escorted out. You loved him. It was painful to let go of him, but you knew it was for the best. You couldn’t keep dragging him into your messes. Zendaya or any other girl would be better for him. You just hoped he would move on, and forget about you, completely.

“I love you, Tom,” you cried to yourself.

Tom couldn’t leave you. He stayed in the hospital waiting room, pacing back and forth. As the sunset, and more people started to leave, he sat down, sobbing his heart out.

Once Tom had calmed down, he walked back to your room, watching you sleep. You seemed so peaceful. He placed a hand on the glass, staring at you sympathetically.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll do anything for you. Just please, please, live. Don’t try to go again. I’ll always be waiting for you, my love. Love, Tom.” He wrote on a sticky note, placing it right beside you on your tray.

The tears slipped down his face as he kissed your forehead, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time. He slowly walked out, relapsing all of the wonderful memories he shared with you.

Tom knew you guys were forever.

As the sun peaked through the hospital window, you were awoken by your doctor. They informed you that you could leave the hospital the next day. You were able to move on your own, now.

“Ms. L/N, you have a note,” your doctor handed you the small sticky note and left the room.

Puzzled, you read the note.

“Love, Tom.” It read.

Tears started to flood your eyes.

He finally left.

A wave of desperation and contentment washed over you. He could finally grow and thrive without something to stop him, but you would never get to feel his lips on yours anymore, or the way he’d hold you when you were afraid.

He’s gone.