Incorrect Marvel Quotes - Tumblr Posts

loki: saw someone accuse me of lying for attention which i RESENT

loki: i lie because it’s fun and, crucially, very very easy

tony: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box

steve: that’s just a trash can

tony: and your point is

scott: pros of being an ant: you can dodge microwave beams

scott: cons of being an ant: there's an animal called anteater

bucky: like it’s MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know is how to kill

morgan: dad, can i ask you a question?

tony: sure

morgan: when did you first realize that you’re old and your life is over?

tony:

mj: what are you doing?

peter, hanging upside down from the ceiling: trying to kiss you

mj: you’re gonna fall

peter: …

peter: just hurry up and kiss me already, i’m starting to feel lightheaded

maria: so… you like cats?

carol: yeah

maria: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

rhodey: i remember sending tony an email that started off with “i hope this email finds you well” and this man responded with “this email finds me hungover”

pepper: *disappointed sigh*

loki: i am the problem here, i am fully aware. but i've made the decision to inflict me on everyone else

mobius:

peter: if i saw a portal, i would enter it, no questions asked

tony:

tony: you know archaic latin?

natasha: i got bored with classical latin

tony:

tony: you know normal latin?

natasha: yeah, someone from my knitting club taught me

tony: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB???

loki: shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut anytime you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father's house while chanting ominously about his sins

mobius:

mobius: are you… okay?

rhodey: tony, up and at'em, time to go

tony, groaning: i don’t wanna go back to school

rhodey:

rhodey: tony, you’re like fifty

peter: what’s your biggest fear?

mj: being forgotten

peter: damn, that’s deep

peter: mine’s the kool aid man but i feel kinda stupid about that now

bucky: *walks in covered in blood*

steve: great costume, buck! happy halloween!

bucky:

bucky: oh, right, it’s halloween. that’s convenient

pepper: are you worried?

tony: yes

tony: wait, about what?

sam: *reaches for the fries on bucky’s plate*

bucky: *slams grocery store divider between his plate and sam’s hand*

sam:

sam: you said you didn’t take that from the store

bucky: and you said you didn’t want any fries, yet here we are

peter: can i bother you for a second?

tony: you're always bothering me, but go ahead

thor: you tricked me!

loki: i deceived you. ‘trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship

mobius: loki and i got married!

b-15: don't share your personal problems with everyone