Thanks To Everybody That Started Following Me On Tumblr Hope You Guys Enjoy My Content : *:*

thanks to everybody that started following me on tumblr ♡ hope you guys enjoy my content ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Dear do you write for male readers?

I’d gladly try and I’m sure I could 🖤

stay with me, please

warnings: SELF-HARM, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, mention of death, depression, language

a/n: please do NOT read this if you are sensitive on the topics in listed above. I do not support the topics. if you feel alone, call the suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255. please remember that you are loved, and when times get tough, it’s just a rough patch in your life, but it’ll be over with soon. look on the bright side of things. treat yourself with love and care. i love you all ♡

*i personally have never had an experience on this topic, but a very close friend of mine has, she took therapy and is better than ever now. feel free to talk to me by clicking ‘ask me anything.’ i myself have suffered from depression. i tried to cut myself and was only able to cut my fingertip. i have a habit of not eating a lot of food and trying to stay quiet, not to attract attention to myself. nobody knows about it, not even my family or close friends. i know it’ll get better. i will make a post just on this because i’ve typed too much of this on my lil’ fic here, which have more parts to come, so enjoy!*

masterlist

pt.1 | pt. 2

Tears fell from your eyes as you looked at your wrist. The razor blade was lodged into your arm, causing the red, warm, liquid rapidly spill out. You kept going until it was 8 cuts.

The bathroom floor had patches of blood covering it, but most of the blood made it into the sink. You used a hand cloth to wipe up all the red stains and washed the cloth in the sink. You made sure there weren’t any red spots left in the sink, and continued on to prepare a bath.

You slowly sank into the warm water, the blood from your arms colouring the water red. As you sat there, the tears flowing down your cheeks slowly started to come to a halt.

Then, you heard the familiar sound of your front door opening, “Darling? Are you home?”

In a rush, you stood up and out of the bathtub, and drained it. You washed it over twice to make sure there was no more opaque, red, liquid floating in the tub.

He must’ve heard the water run because the next thing you knew, he was opening the bathroom door.

Luckily, you already had slipped on his hoodie, covering your somewhat bloody scars.

“H-Hey, Tommy. You’re back early.” You stuttered, still uneasy from earlier.

“Y/N, darling, I’ve missed you! I came back to surprise you!” Tom shone, the smile on his face widens.

“What’re you doing in the bathroom?” He questioned, looking confused.

“I was just, um, taking a bath.” You excused.

“In the middle of the day?” Tom connected eyes with you, trying to break through your protective shield. You noticed his motives, and quickly look away.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with taking a nice, warm, bath in the middle of the day?” You falsely giggled.

“But, you said that taking baths in the afternoon was dumb?” Tom tried to remember.

You bite the inside of your mouth, silently cursing yourself out because you did tell him that before.

“Just was tired, let it go?” You sighed. He could feel the tension, so he let it go.

For the following weeks, you continued to cut, while Tom started to notice the loss of energy you’d have when he came back. He also started to notice the small things, like you had had a hard time falling asleep, or you would always wear his hoodies or your long-sleeved clothing items.

One day, Tom woke up to the great smell of eggs and toast coming from the first floor.

“Love?” He walked down the stairs. To his surprise, he saw you making his favourite breakfast meal. “What’re you doing?” A smile flashed across his fatigued face.

“What d’you think, you doofus?” Your giggle was fake. If only he knew that this was his last breakfast with you.

You placed the toast and eggs onto the white plate, handing it to him. Then, you poured him a cup of coffee to enjoy with his “extravagant” breakfast. You ate the leftover eggs and drank some coffee.

“I gotta go, love, but I’ll be back later,” He kissed your forehead. You took in his affection while you could.

“Tom,” You called out before he could leave the flat, “I love you,” You quickly, or tried to, walk over to him and give him the most passionate kiss you could.

“I love you, too, darling,” He chuckled.

“Bye,” You smiled and waved.

“Bye, love,” He rolled his beautiful, brown eyes.

Tom found your actions weird since you hadn’t been this affectionate ever, especially for the past few weeks, but he ignored his suspicions, and happily drove to work.

Once he was out of your sight, you ran, the fastest you’ve ever been, up the stairs, and into the bathroom. You pulled out the large blade and started cutting large, deep, cuts into yourself. Every place you could possibly cut, you cut. You were so numb from the pain, you didn’t feel the impact when you fell to the cold, tiled, floor.

“Y/N? Darling? Where are you? I forgot my phone here. Could you grab it from the room?” Tom’s voice rang through your ears.

No! He can’t be back. No! Go away, Tom! Please.

“Babe? Where are you?” You could hear his heavy footsteps rushing up the staircase.

Please don’t come in here, please don’t come in here, please don’t come in here.

Tom pushed the door open, practically running to my side.

“Y/N? Love? Are you there? Please respond!” He shouted, tears rapidly falling from his eyes.

I caused him pain.

“Stay with me! I love you, Y/N.” His voice cracked.

“Hello? Yes, I need an ambulance! M-My girlfriend. She’s dying. She cut herself and the blood won’t stop coming out. She’s becoming pale! Please hurry!” He sobs into the phone.

“Stay with me, please. I love you,” He kissed your forehead. Then, darkness.

The faint sounds of the ambulance sirens vibrated through your head. Then, you heard Tom’s voice.

“Don’t go, baby, please don’t,” His voice was quivering.

“I love you, so many people love you. Please stay.” Tom’s hand tightens around yours.

Lies. Nobody loves me. No one will. No one has. I’m alone.

karma

warnings: fluff-ish, cursing, slight mention of sex

masterlist

“Hey, Y/N, darling,” Tom grinned.

“Yes, Tommy?” You hummed in response.

He quietly, but quickly, chuckled.

“You know, my dick should have a warning sign on it,” your eyes widened, then glared at him.

“What should that sign say, hm?”

“It should say ‘choking hazard,’” Tom placed his hand on his stomach and began to burst out in laughter.

“Isn’t that the label for small objects?” Now it was your turn to laugh.

Tom looked at you, putting on his cute pout and puppy eyes, but you still couldn’t stop laughing.

After you had ended your laughing fit, the two of you had a little fun ;)

stay with me, please | pt.2

warnings: mentions of SELF-HARM, talks about attempting SUICIDE, depression, language, angst, heartbreak

a/n: please do NOT read this if you are sensitive on the topics in listed above. I do not support the topics. if you feel alone, call the suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255. please remember that you are loved, and when times get tough, it’s just a rough patch in your life, but it’ll be over with soon. look on the bright side of things. treat yourself with love and care. i love you all ♡

*i personally have never had an experience on this topic, but a very close friend of mine has, she took therapy and is better than ever now. feel free to talk to me by clicking ‘ask me anything.’ i myself have suffered from depression. i tried to cut myself and was only able to cut my fingertip. i have a habit of not eating a lot of food and trying to stay quiet, not to attract attention to myself. nobody knows about it, not even my family or close friends. sometimes i feel alone in this world, but then i remember that there are people out there that love me. it’s hard, i know, but stay strong, my lovelies, i know it’ll get better. i will make a post just on this because i’ve typed too much of this on my lil’ fic here, which have more parts to come, so enjoy!*

masterlist

pt.1 | pt. 2

You awoke to the bright lights shining in your eyes. You tried to lift your arm to cover your eyes, but it didn’t work.

“Y/N! You’re awake!” Tom’s sounded tired.

You tried your hardest to turn your head to face him, but it didn’t work.

“Woah! Slow down, you haven’t healed yet. You’re still too weak. You’ll feel like you’re paralyzed only for an hour, so don’t worry. Here, let me help you.” His soft hands gently turn your head to face him.

He looks so tired like he hasn’t gotten any sleep. The dark under eye bags proving that he didn’t get any sleep. Tom was slouched over, gripping onto the hospital bed for support.

“Tom,” You were able to croak out, “Go sit down, you’re too weak. It’s okay.” He nodded his head and unsteadily walks back to the chair.

“Why?” Tom asked, sadness washing over his dull eyes.

“What?” You were confused.

“Why would you try to k-,” He struggled to get the word out. It was too painful to think about your limp body lying on the white tiled floor of the bathroom.

“Kill yourself,” He finally got it out. Tears started to fill his eyes.

I made him cry. I’m an idiot. I deserved to die. Why’d he have to save me? I’m just a waste of time.

“Please don’t cry, especially over me. I’m a waste of time, of effort.” You said quietly.

“No, you’re not! You aren’t a waste of time or effort! I love you! So fucking much as well! You don’t know how many people love you! Did you ever think about how the people around you would feel?! How I’d-,” He yelled, but you cut him off.

“You’re wasting your time yelling at me. Like I said if I had died, no one would have noticed and I would’ve been better off. You wouldn’t have to be here, wasting your breath. Look, Tom. You need to move on, to find someone better, like Zendaya. She’s so much better for you. It’s healthier for you to leave me,” You gave up on trying to speak loudly. Your voice was only a little over a whisper.

“No! You don’t get to choose what’s right for me! I love you, Y/N! You can’t just throw me away because you think you aren’t worth it! So listen up, I love you, and I won’t be leaving you anytime soon!” He demanded.

“If you won’t leave me, then I’ll have to leave you.” You sighed, trying your hardest to shake your head.

“No-,” you cut him off, “Tom, you can’t keep following after me, picking up all of my mishaps. You have to move on. I love you, and you mean the world to me, but it’s time that I go. So please, let go, I beg of you.” Tom’s eyes started to water, and his lips started to quiver.

Dammit, you made him cry, again.

“Please go, Thomas,” hearing you say his real name shocked him. He didn’t know what to do. You never said his real name, only Tommy, Tommo, Tom, and other nicknames.

“N-No, I can’t. I can’t,” he fell to his knees and started sobbing.

The tears rolled down his face rapidly as he kneeled there. His hands clenched into fists, continuously pounding the hospital floors.

The sound must’ve been heard by the doctor because the next thing you knew, they were standing at the door. They saw what was causing the noise, and you sympathetically looked over to the doctor, as if you were asking them to escort Tom out of the building. They nodded and continued onto their job. Somehow, the doctors were able to convince Tom to get up and exit your room.

You silently cried as you watched Tom get escorted out. You loved him. It was painful to let go of him, but you knew it was for the best. You couldn’t keep dragging him into your messes. Zendaya or any other girl would be better for him. You just hoped he would move on, and forget about you, completely.

“I love you, Tom,” you cried to yourself.

Tom couldn’t leave you. He stayed in the hospital waiting room, pacing back and forth. As the sunset, and more people started to leave, he sat down, sobbing his heart out.

Once Tom had calmed down, he walked back to your room, watching you sleep. You seemed so peaceful. He placed a hand on the glass, staring at you sympathetically.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll do anything for you. Just please, please, live. Don’t try to go again. I’ll always be waiting for you, my love. Love, Tom.” He wrote on a sticky note, placing it right beside you on your tray.

The tears slipped down his face as he kissed your forehead, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time. He slowly walked out, relapsing all of the wonderful memories he shared with you.

Tom knew you guys were forever.

As the sun peaked through the hospital window, you were awoken by your doctor. They informed you that you could leave the hospital the next day. You were able to move on your own, now.

“Ms. L/N, you have a note,” your doctor handed you the small sticky note and left the room.

Puzzled, you read the note.

“Love, Tom.” It read.

Tears started to flood your eyes.

He finally left.

A wave of desperation and contentment washed over you. He could finally grow and thrive without something to stop him, but you would never get to feel his lips on yours anymore, or the way he’d hold you when you were afraid.

He’s gone.

Hey lovey, I just wanted to check up on you and hear if you were doing okay? 💕 I hope whatever you’re going through gets easier, lots of love XX

I’m doing great, thank you for caring 🖤 how are you doing, hopefully you are doing wonderful 👼