What Im Comfortable With Writing

what i’m comfortable with writing

i recently got a request which reminded me of another change coming to my page. i trying to merge away from writing any smut because one, i’m not good at it and two, i’m not really comfortable writing major smut anymore. once i feel confident and more comfortable writing said genre, i’ll begin to write in it again, but for now, i’ll only write suggestive, implied, or mild smut. sorry, big thanks.

2020 reflection

wow, 2020 is over. let’s start this new year with refreshment. 

though many have had a hard time in 2020, i think that the year was given to people of our generation to give us a break and time to reflect on ourselves and lives. it was sort of like a wake up call to all souls. 

2020 rose the question of, “did or am i living my life to the fullest?”

in that year, i suffered deprivation of friendship, depression, anxiety, falling out of love with my passions, and disconnection with the rest of the world, but i also discovered self love, healthier living, acceptance, and a life free from toxicity.

starting from the beginning of 2020, i was in canada. i had experienced a once-in-a-lifetime experience. my wish had been granted, and yet again, i was experiencing another snowy holiday. then, my tumblr presence was growing. i didn’t dread the return of school. i welcomed the new year with warm, open arms.

3-4 months into the year, i reached my first obstacle. a fight broke out between me and my very close friend. i was abandoned and betrayed by my alleged “close friend” group.

then, the pandemic hit. i was in denial. i didn’t want to be cooped up in my house for months. i thought people were over-exaggerating this virus. i was furious to hear that we would be quarantined.

summer comes and i finally have time to breathe. i get back in to gaming. for a good amount of time, i forget that school exists. i’m working out for 2-3 hours a day. i’m binge watching all the movies i could. i finally bring myself to remove any social media, other than tumblr, from my life.

third obstacle: i fell out of interest with tom, following my writing. soon after i got rid of instagram, i disconnected from much related to tom. i no longer saw his posts, heard his voice. i no longer had any ideas to write out. i had lesser of the emotions i had in the previous year. my account seemed to be dying out, like a candle melting to its very last. i had no will left to continue.

fourth obstacle: i became depressed, once again. in 2019, i suffered a terrible episode of depression. my thoughts were fucked up, to say the least. what arose this renewed episode was stress, loneliness.

then, i discovered a band. a group of men who made music that touches the soul, made for cheering you up. this band is very successful, even compared to the beatles. i won’t disclose the band’s name to leave it to your mind to figure out if you want, that is.

life goes on. i do what i need to. winter break comes around. for a couple of days, i feel good, happy. new years eve appears and disappears before i can even register what’s happening. a whole year of my life, gone, not to waste though.

even though this year was hated by many, i can’t say i agree with those people. instead of looking for reasons to why you hated 2020, look at things that you learned and grew in such year.

remember 2020 as a year of growth and experience. prepare yourself for our new life ahead. envision a clear and happy 2021, and that you will get.

- m

edit: my stupid ass didn’t realize i posted this to my drafts,, i’m-

changes to this account

hello, fellow readers! it’s been a long while. i’m not sure if many of you will read or want to read this but i wanted to explain my hiatus as well as the changes that will be brought to this page (?). i’ll put the changes in bold so you can read ahead, if you want.

okay, firstly, as you may or may not know, i’ve been on a hiatus for the past almost 6 months, i think, so i’ve been gone for a while. to be completely honest, i never expected myself to take a break from this account, especially since, at the beginning of 2020, i dedicated my life to this page. i don’t think the i was able to register the fact that i was starting to grow, age wise, and my past was my, well, past. i started to outgrow things that i enjoyed and loved when i was younger, but i wouldn’t accept that reality, and i’m still not today. on instagram, i noticed that the app was making my mental health go downhill, as well as the fact that i lost almost all of my friends due to a petty fight we had before quarantine. i ended up deleting instagram, only recently deleting my account, because i thought that i was making the right decision. to be honest, it truly was a good choice of mine because nowadays, i’m much happier. another cruel truth, though, is that i’m friendless as of now. that’s a lie. i have one friend and one friend only. it’s not too bad, but it puts me down, sometimes. i’m going off topic, sorry. anyways, getting to the point, i began to outgrow tom. this shocked me to my core because i dedicated like 3 years of my life stanning this man and fantasizing about him. i also think that the deleting of instagram did push me further into losing interest in him because i didn’t have the habit of constantly checking his page everyday anymore. then, rumors came out that he had a girlfriend. when i first heard about it, i decided to ignore it and continue writing, but at this point, i already began my decline. when the rumor became fact, i kind of felt uncomfortable writing for him because he had a real, existent, confirmed girlfriend. i know it sounds obnoxious because either way, single or not, writing fanfiction about a celebrity is just a bit weird but knowing they’re in a relationship and continuing to write for them put me off a bit. also, i ran out of inspiration to write and the spark i once had began to dim. writing creatively is very important to me, so i didn’t stop and decided to write on random docs and never post them. this was a lot less stressful for me, knowing i didn’t have an audience. over this hiatus, i did consider completely quitting and deactivating this account, but i pushed myself to continue, bringing me to where i am today. i still have a bit of pressure, feeling as if i have a responsibility to write, but i’m trying to ease my way back into writing for tom, even though i don’t have much interest in him anymore.

now for the changes i’m bringing to this page. please note that i’m on a semi–hiatus still, but that will be a constant from now on. this is because i’ve entered a new stage of life where i have more responsibilities and less time. it’s also because of my lack of interest in tom. don’t get me wrong, he was a very important figure in the past couple of years of my life, but i’m outgrowing him and moving onto newer people. i’ll forever support him, though. not only is this why i’m going to stay in a semi–hiatus state, but posting fanfiction is no longer a blissful escape for me anymore, more so a burden. bringing me to my next change, i’ll be posting very rarely, meaning only when i feel like writing it or am in a good mood. i will continue to try hard for my readers, though. i’ll also be changing the formatting of my work, albeit it’s not much to note. otherwise, that should be it, and if there are any changes that come to mind, i’ll update you guys on that. thank you so much for staying and supporting me. it means the world to me. i love you guys so much!

ahaha not @ me dying because my laptop decided to restart itself while i was writing a ff and the ff not saving itself ahaha

exam motivation drabble

❧ prompt: there isn’t really a story to this. really, it’s, hopefully, a motivator for students, whatever age, to work hard in school and life. i hope this helps you destress and find your comfortable environment to study in.

❧ pairing: tom x legal student!reader

❧ genre: fluff, anti-stress, motivation

❧ warnings: literally none, this is a stress-free environment excuse me

❧ a/n: i just wanted to write something short and hopefully stress relieving for you readers because i know finals season is here. also, this applies to any tests or exams or finals or whatever thing your having. i hope that this will help you feel more inspiration to study and try your best in life in general. i made this a short drabble so you procrastinators can get inspired and open your books to study. i love you guys. don’t give up!

masterlist                     prompt list

You sat in the dark, a dim light shone on the worn-out pages of your thick notebook. Earbuds were stuffed deeply in your ears, the wire connected to your phone. The tunes of your favorite songs to study with played lightly in your ears. Your eyes scaled over your notes for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Once you reached the bottom of the page, you sat back, relaxing in your chair. You leaned your head back, hands coming up to rub your eyes. As your hands left surface they were rubbing, you immediately winced at the sudden brightness your eyes were met with. Warm hands were placed on your shoulders and your boyfriend’s face came into view.

Smiling, you pull out your earbuds, whispering, “Hi, Tommy.”

“Hey, darling,” he leaned down and kissed your cheek. “How’s studying going? You feel alright?” He asked, looking at the piles of notes messily laid on your desk.

“’M doing just fine. I’m right on schedule, no procrastinating this year,” you smiled, yawning.

“That’s great, love,” he began planting small pecks over your face, “So proud of you.”

Giggling when his lips met yours, you lifted your head from its position, “I’m proud of me, too. I think I’ll study some more tonight too.”

Pouting, Tom whined, “But you said we could watch movies tonight.”

Gently kissing the tip of his nose, you smile, “We can watch movies after I study a page more.” 

He let out a deep-throated groan, “Fine.”

“Love you, Tommy,” you bid him goodbye, reinserting your earbuds.

“Love you, too, princess,” he whispered back, noticing you had already delved back in your notes.

The amount of admiration and pride he had for you was unimaginable. Seeing you work so hard inspired him to work even harder in his career of acting. You were his pride and joy, and he was never going to let go of you.

🥺

nicolenoelwalker: A Conversation with Spider-Man When dreams come true.