Epic From The Perspective Of Someone On The Other Ships Is Like, So Funny To Me

Epic from the perspective of someone on the other ships is like, so funny to me

I mean, imagine you have just got through the worst war of your life. Ten long years and you’re finally able to see your family again. Then your captain/commodore I guess/king says he’s going to go check out this creepy island.

Whatever, you were feeling hungry anyways. Then it’s off to a cave, where you sit around waiting for a weirdly long time until the crew of the fleet’s flagship emerge significantly worse for wear. The really nice guy who used to share his lunch with you sometimes is gone. The king is busy having an argument with thin air on his ship. Everyone is covered in blood.

Oh well, at least you can enjoy this mutton they brought back.

Then there’s a massive freaking storm and you’re literally about to die before you’re handed a harpoon and told to throw it as hard as you can at the sky? And you end up tethered to this beautiful floating island but you can’t even appreciate it because the king is busy having an argument with his first mate. It’s super awkward for everyone else.

The king disappears and returns with a cool glowing bag which these weird little creatures seem to think is treasure, but the king insists is dangerous. You shrug it off and go back to your ship.

Finally, nine days of peace! Nothing weird happens and you’re starting to believe you might actually make it home when THE FREAKING STORM COMES BACK YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THIS!!

You’re blown away from your home and your family and end up in this scary place with a whole bunch of giants and a very angry Poseidon singing about a cyclops. And you’re like what?? We never blinded a cyclops?? What are you talking about?? And then before you have a chance to question it you straight up drown in a tidal wave conjured to teach someone else a lesson.

No wonder they were so mad in the underworld. When does a man become a monster?? Probably when he doesn’t even bother providing context to his men before they die!

Ares: Your boy Odysseus hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done! Never handles things up front! Pathetic and weak like his son!

Athena: HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND! AND TELL YOUR LOVER THAT A BROKEN HEART CAN MEND!

Ares, quivering in his steel boots: Aphrodite, babe, a broken heart can mend. 🥺🥺

Ouch

😋🥞

Pamcake

Lotus-eaters were like "ugh, these damn tourists again. Send 'em to the cave, lmao"

Hey remember when I was yapping about a baby siren in different beast? Well I just watched an animatic that had the same idea! It was heartbreaking :D! Go watch it it's really good: https://youtu.be/SlT0G3Ltzu8

"Your tunes do not bring me joy, Calypso"