.(not) Falling For You - Gojo Satoru

.(not) falling for you - gojo satoru

.pairings gojo satoru x fem!reader

.genre unrequited love [a]

.ongoing | completed

.tw mentions of violence, blood, and death, also contains manga spoilers

.wc; 3.6k

SUMMARY

Satoru was a perfect guy, in every way possible, and had everything he wanted, except you.

Gojou Satoru. The notorious playboy. Well known for his good looks and extraordinary skills. Not only was he blessed with these beautiful looks, he holds the most cursed energy known within the Jujutsu society, and has inherited two of the most powerful techniques known to sorcerer: Limitless, and Infinity. Alongside carrying these techniques, he's become a holder of the Six Eyes after four hundred years.

His immense strength brought envy and admiration from those around him, leaving him to be lucky to be born with such wealth and adoration growing up. All those around him had given him such extreme names, like “The King of Sorcerers”, or the new “God” of jujutsu society, but neither of those names nor the others had fed so much into his complex as much as the one you gave him. “The Strongest.”

The two of you met in high school, having been put together for a mission with his best friends, Getou Suguru and Ieiri Shoko, and immediately clicked, what with your indistinguishable personalities. Everyone thought the both of you were extremely compatible, your personalities fitting perfectly with one another. During the days that you felt sick, he was sick too, on the days he felt like he was over the moon, you were on an emotional equilibrium to him. People said you were telepathically connected, or soulmates, meant to be and whatnot. The two of you were were an ultimate pair, made for one another.

So why didn't you love him? Why did you not feel the same way he did about you? Why did you not get butterflies in your stomach he did so little as breathe? Why was his world turned upside down when you did so much as wave a hello in his direction, but the atmosphere of yours stayed the same, when he would hug you. Was it the fact that he was too tall? Annoying? Similar to you? Or was it that he wasn't Suguru?

Was it the fact that he didn't have the same dark locks as him, or the bland expression he kept on his face at all times, or maybe it was because when he smiled, your heart would do flips. Satoru loved his best friend, truly, he did, but Suguru's existence stopped you from falling for him and conforming to everyone's dreams of the elegant Tsukumo family and the legendary Gojou family conjoining (and possibly even his dreams of marrying you and having a future together.)

He had it all, the money, looks, love, and the skill, but none of it would measure up to anything until you would fall for him. And every day got harder for him as he watched you and Suguru lay in each other's arms after each mission, feeling like you had grabbed his guts and twisted them inside his body, laughing, with Suguru by your side.

So the day that you found out Suguru had massacred the village, and ran away, you fell apart, with Satoru by your side as a pillar. As selfish as it was, he thought it was his only chance to get you to fall for him. He'd visit you every day, checking up on your condition, and brought you whatever you pleased, like a servant to their master.

For years he's pined after you, but not once have you noticed even a crumb of his overwhelming fondness for even the shortest breaths you took, even if you did, it seemed as though you had brushed him off, with an inability to move on from your high school sweetheart that had long gone years before. His patience was wearing thin and he began to get bolder during the times you were together, who wouldn't? After all, he's loved you since the day you met.

Becoming teachers together at Jujutsu Tech had plastered a smile on his face to last a lifetime. To be able to see you every day for several hours, to be able to see you smile around the students, to be able to see you be, well you, would be enough to make him happy. He had practically begged Yaga and Principal Gakuganji to let you teach the first years with him, despite being assigned with the second years and the higher ups.

You were a meticulous colleague, punctual, polite, respectful, and kept a good reputation within the school, gaining acclamation from the students, and other teachers. But despite this calm exterior, you were an enjoyable person to be around, with a bubbly personality and an outgoing demeanour, knowing just what to say in moments of need. You were perfect for him.

With the two of you having a playful relationship, it was easy for him to openly display his affection for you, without you tossing him to the side as if he made you uncomfortable. Nevertheless, you only thought of Satoru as a good friend, and couldn't see anything further happening with him. There were several instances where you had tried to imagine a romantic relationship with him, but it had never felt right. Despite his breathtaking appearance, it could never proportion to the same measurement of flourishing love you carried for Suguru.

Getou Suguru, well known to everyone as the trustworthy best friend of Gojou Satoru, the good ol' sidekick, but to you he was the sun in which you, the earth, orbited around. Everything about him, it all fit like puzzle pieces into your life, he sat snug in the center of your heart like a masterpiece on display. It was well known that you had loved him so dearly, and would risk yourself at the chance of saving him. But it was also known that you could kill for him any chance he asked you to. The days without him began to lead your thoughts to an unfathomable future of dying alone in your bed, with his clothes in your arms as proof of his impact in your life and how he had left it.

The nights felt longer and the days almost became a chore, life became harder to live, with only so much strength alive you could die. Satoru noticed. Your smile would rot away as soon as it existed, crossed off onto the list which recorded the rest of your fake smiles. He noticed how you slowly lost enthusiasm within your passions, and it broke him to do nothing but watch you ruin yourself.

It was all Suguru's fault, everything went wrong because of him. If he had never existed, then maybe it would be him holding you in his arms as you slept through the night, maybe it would've be him whispering sweet nothings as you did your homework in the study hall at lunch, maybe it would've been him that you cried over for almost a decade. But alas, life doesn't bend the way we choose it to. But God, Satoru could never wish for the banishing of his best friend's existence like that, not when he knew that Suguru's disappearance had damaged him too.

He's suffered too, Satoru carried his own weights of grief after Suguru's disappearance. He too, felt as though there was a hole in his heart, an empty void, which no one could fulfill the same way Suguru could. After all, they were best friends. Losing someone precious to you can do more than just a few months of grief. It can mend relationships, break them, form them, or bloom them. So an endeavour on winning your heart and blooming a relationship, Satoru did. Succeed he didn't. You rejected him in a cold manner, much to his dismay, and avoided his presence or the mention of his name for several days.

“No, I just don't see you like that, and I'm still in love with him.” Even the mention of his name would tug at your heartstrings, so the substitute of 'him' was used more comfortably between the two of you.

You shoved past him, going to your next mission, telling him that the two of you were going to be late, wearing an expression he couldn't analyse in the same way he saw the others. And it didn't sit right with him.

“Y/N wait-” he turned around and he was too late, you were already off to your mission, and turning the corner.

The sight was horrific, Kyoto looked as if it was going to fall apart. What kind of curse was this? You stared in fear, afraid of what you'd find if you ventured further into the city, on your way to look for Nobara, Megumi and Yuuji. before taking another step forward, a familiar warmth wrapped around your wrist and you turn around, facing Satoru.

“Hey uh, I know these past few days have been a little weird, but you're still one of my bestest friends, I just want you to be safe out there, okay? Please?” His eyes trembling as his lips mustered up a smile in, hopes of reassuring you.

“I know Satoru, and thank you, I will be safe. how about after this we go get some drinks, this is gonna be a long mission.” You smiled back, bringing a light back into his life.

You trekked through the city, on your way to find the three young students, practically trembling in the case that they may have possibly died. But that couldn't happen, no they were far too strong, with so much potential, especially for their age. As you progressed on your way, the more dilapidated the state of the department store looked, windows shattered, mannequins melted, and fire alarms flashing. There was so much going on, you almost felt dizzy, but the students were a bigger priority and it would be on you if they were dead or missing.

On the other side of the store, Satoru did his own searching, but not for the students, rather the cursed spirit who was roaming free in the building. He worried for your safety, and prayed that it hadn't found you before he could. The scent of smoke and the fumes of the fire wafted around Satoru and a foggy atmosphere built up around him, causing his guard to heighten as well as his senses. He needed to protect everyone. He needed to protect you.

A familar body flew- no, was thrown through one of the shopping windows, and you dashed towards them, noticing the mess of black hair, belonging to the first year, Fushiguro Megumi

“Fushiguro!” You picked up his limp figure, shaking him awake, and horizontally placed your index finger beneath his nostrils, checking for any signs of life, and let out a sigh of relief when the hairs on your fingers were tickled by a warm breath of air.

“Itadori, and Kugisaki, they're hurt-” He sputtered, coughing out blood.

“But so are you, come on, get on my back, I'll find them.” You slung him onto your back, and slowly attempted to stand up as you made your way to find the other teenagers.

Only to be met with an unghastly sight. The cursed spirit was so strong, it could've been mistaken for a special grade. It wasn't. It wasn't even a cursed spirit. it was the love of your life, the man of your dreams, Suguru Getou. You almost let the boy on your back slip off of your arms, before you gently placed him down in a safe area, where he was refrained from further injury.

“SーSuguru?” Your heart skipped, no drove at a speed over a thousand miles an minute. He looked so different, so mature, he didn't look like, Suguru.

“Ah, Y/N dear, hello it's been a while.” He smiled devilishly, and the man before you became unfamiliar, even from the way he held himself up, he seemed like a completely different person, what happened?

“What are you doing here?” you choked up, your eyesight was becomjng blurry, blinded by the tears building up onto your face.

“What do you think? To save Kyoto? Good gracious, no.” His smirk pulled up even further, yet it intimidated you with each passing second. who was this man before you, and what had he done to Suguru?

Your mind flashed back to the memories of going to Tokyo Jujutsu with Satoru, Suguru and Ieiri. And your heart ached with greed, oh, how you begged just to go back in time and re-live those memories, experiencing the same tingly feeling when you learned about being a sorceror, or maybe the palpitations in your heart after you finished a mission, filled with relief, knowing you had survived. And how you wished to stand by Suguru's side again, as you had done so all those years ago.

But you couldn't. And you can't.

You're older now, much more mature, and despite it taking years and years of grief and denial, you had finally learned to detach yourself from the gut wrenching memories you had kept buried in the back of your mind like a sin. You had finally realised everyone grows different as time passes by, and not everything was a constant, so as Suguru stepped closer to your figure, with his cursed energy practically leaking from his aura, you straightened your back and finally got into position.

"I'm going to stop you before you even try to make things worse.” You condensed your energy into your core, feeling your technique build up inside your body as your senses grew and your guard heightened. You had to protect the kids.

“I'd like to see you try, my love.”

Meanwhile Satoru, was still searching the store, unaware of the fact that you had already discovered the "cursed spirit" and the first years. His mind wandered to the most inexplainable places, distracting himself from the possibilities that you may be injured.

"My, my, if it isn't the one and only, Satoru Gojou," his ears perked up, listening to the devious tone behind him; Mahito. “We've been looking for you.”

“We?” A mundane expression carved across his face and his lips brought up to a disgusted chagrin.

"You could at least have a little bit more enthusiasm, goodness, I should've taken the girl." A bitter chuckle taunts Satoru, feeling some sort of tension grow as Mahito brings up the "girl".

"What girl?"

"It's a shame, you know, because I really didn't want to go up against you today, but no, Getou-kun had to get the girl, don't you think he's greedy-" Satory charged himself towards Mahito, finding a method to touch his soul and eventually subdue him, in order to find Suguru.

He was alive? what was he going to do if you found out? Would you go back to him? Where are you right now?

He made haste and explored around the labyrinth of a building, just to find the familiar pink mop of hair, laying tiredly a little further away from a girl with a brown bob cut.

"Yuuji, Nobara!" The relief in his tone was evident, and he crouched down to check on his students, just to see them barely breathing. "Where's Megumi?"

"Sensei, Y/N sensei." Nobara choked out, struggling to form a coherent phrase, and mobilised enough strength to point a finger in the direction she presumed you and Megumi were in. "There's, there's a man, with black long hair, in Jujutsu uniform."

Satoru's heart fell to his stomach. You were reunited, in one of the worst ways possible at that. You probably ran into his arms like a teenage girl again, and he probably reciprocated that action and held you tight in his arms, like he never left.

Oh how he wished he saw that instead.

Upon his arrival, everything was in shambles, even moreso than before. He darted his eyes with vigilance and thought time had stopped.

There you laid, bloodied and battered, almost unidentifiable. You could be labelled dead by default, with your hair disheveled and your face bruised with crimson and mauve. Broken bones were visible on your figure, with your arms shattered and positioned in one of the most uncomfortable poses. And he hated that. His heart burned, and his chest tightened, feeling as if his ribcage had slowly began crushing his organs, hindering his aptness to inhale. Satoru was used to having his breath taken away by you, but never in this lifetime did he expect for Suguru to take your last. But where did he even go?

It was as if his mission was to kill you and take a run for it, but for what reason? The two of you loved, no, yearned for one another's presence and could probably tell the time of the day just by looking into each other's eyes. You were the ones that were connected, soulmates, meant to be, or whatever it was. So did Suguru revoke from his words to love you eternally, just as you had done so all those years ago. Maybe that was why. It was so many years ago.

"Gojou-sensei?" A small croak echoed in the sombre building, and he turned his head around so swiftly, he felt that his neck would break.

"Megumi." He finally helped the boy up, who was still in the same state that you had put him down in, before laying your life down for the one that you loved.

"She's, she's still breathing, I saw her."

That little glint of hope, that short sentence. It was more than sufficient to get Satoru coming your way, to place your slack body upon his thighs. For once, the one and only Satoru Gojou, had cried. He carefully removed the strands of hair covering your face, ever so gently, and looked at your wheezing condition.

"Satoru, I'm so, so, sorry," you whispered out, only because your blood began to ooze on Satoru's uniform, and had nothing but incompetence to try and clean it away with your shattered arms. "I'm getting blood all over you, aren't I?" He nods weakly, with his lips trembling and eyes glistening, which was unknown to your knowledge, as he kept the blindfold on, thinking it could mask his emotions better.

"You're gonna be okay. I know you will, you're Y/N of the Tsukumo family. You guys are invincible!" Hysterical was one word to describe Satoru, but of course it was an understatement, because the first and foremost thing he could focus on, was the fact that you were bleeding out into his arms.

"I'm not you, stop saying that, just hold me for a bit, okay?" A toothy, bloody but toothy, grin displayed upon your face, and a hum of approval emitted from Satoru's lips.

Megumi could do so much as watch, as his teacher was fading away from his current life, and how his caretaker was a trainwreck, watching her slip right through his fingers.

"Satoru," he sniffled one last time before nodding. "Can you take your blindfold off? I want to see your pretty eyes." If you couldn't hear it then, you could hear it now; Satoru's sobs grew decibels louder within each second, and his heart almost cracked inside of his body.

"Yeah." he slips off the black fabric, and meets your eyes with his cerulean ones. Maybe it was the flashing lights in the store that made you crazy, but Satoru had looked exceptionally beautiful today, despite the development that was made.

"...That's good. You look wonderful, Satoru." All of the strength that you had hoarded within yourself, had finally vanished, and your body fell limp in his embrace.

"Y/N? Y/N? Are you there? Hey, you're fine, stop doing that. It's not a good joke, you can do this later, just wake up please." He remained in a mental dysfunction and thought that if he shook you conscious, you would open your eyes from your eternal slumber.

"Sensei, stop. She won't wake up." Megumi whinged as he got closer to the pair. "Get up, we need to find the others, before they get hurt too."

Megumi's words travelled like white noise to Satoru, and he disregarded them completely as he tried to wake up the corpse in his clutches. Something was amiss, you couldn't be dead, he refused it, there was no way you would die by the hands of your own lover. Yet knowing you, it was salient that you would rather to lose your life to someone you loved than to an abhorrent monster that would come to take innocent lives away.

"Please, just let me try and wake her up, I know she's awake, just...please." His words died away after realising the unusual lack of response from you. The roguish expression that masked Satoru's intentions was soon expunged from existence, the very moment he comprehended your passing. "Al-alright Megumi, let's go find the others."

It was impossible to leave you behind, so they didn't. Yuuji and Nobara gasped as Satoru carried your deceased state. Megumi trailed alongside him, helping his two friends up, before telling them to not ask questions so to respect Satoru's wishes of not having to acknowledge your death.

Four people, and one soul had left that building that day, and Satoru had vowed to never step in it as soon at it refurbished. Visits to your grave were frequent, and the headstone was cleaned weekly, so Satoru could read out your name, thinking it would speak you back into existence. nevertheless, you never turned up, only to leave him in an awkward presence with the wind blowing around him and the trees whistling to maybe soothe his excruciating injury.

Gojou Satoru. The notorious playboy. Well known for his good looks and extraordinary skills. Blessed with wealth and happiness all around him. He came into your world as a goofy pole of a man, with the attitude of a sassy child, and you left his as the woman who reached out for his heart, and crushed it with your bare hands.

a/n: i'm so sorry for putting this off for so long i hope this is okay but the ending was kinda rushed ://

OMG 😭😭😭

[22:07] megumi fushiguro is whipped

warnings none

"megumi, look, they fell asleep on your shoulder." nobara points out eagerly as she turns to her left side only to notice that you, megumi's one and only, has fallen asleep on his shoulder during the bus journey home.

megumi carefully rotates his head and looks down to see you fast asleep, your mouth slightly agape and eyes tight shut.

"look he's going red!" yuuji teases, and guffaws with nobara as the two of them ridicule megumi's love struck stare.

"shut up," he hisses, "you'll wake them up."

nobara and yuuji "ooooh" facetiously before closing their mouths entirely when you begin to shift from your comfortable position on megumi's shoulder and wake up.

you're silent, and you don't say anything. there's a loud silence and you kiss your teeth and rub your eyes, before realising you didn't know what you were awake for; maybe someone was too loud.

so you close your eyes again and snuggle against the pillow you'd used when you fell asleep earlier and wrap your hands around the armchair.

megumi burns a crimson red as you unconsciously sleep on him, holding his forearm with your hands and pressing your face against his shoulder.

"shit." he mutters silently, and he can't see anything except you. maybe watching you sleep made him tired too, so surely, he laid his head upon yours and held your hand that was on his arm, and slept peacefully too.

stupefied, nobara and yuuji make o's with their mouth and stare at each other, and back at the tired couple.

"what the fuck." although being a pair, yuuji and nobara felt third wheeled and cleared their throats before being interrupted by the white haired adult behind them.

"ah young love."

a/n: a bit short but eh

[23:17] atsumu miya knows colour theory

warnings none just atsumu using a lot of nicknames

"atsumu."

humming, your boyfriend turns his head around towards your direction and finds peace within your presence as you sauntered your way to him.

"this is a very important question okay?" an interrogating expression beholds itself on your face, but atsumu only stares at the features upon it like it was the first time he'd seen a human. "atsumu. i need your answer."

"yes 'm listening, sweets."

"what's your favourite colour?"

the adoring expression atsumu wore like a badge had wore off and transforms into what you could only assume was a perplexed man sitting in front of you. he laughs.

"atsumu! i told you to answer the question this is serious." his face puffs up with a vermillion tone and he pulls you closer to his body, thick arms around your waist fitting together like jigsaw pieces.

"darling, yer so earnest about it, of course i'll laugh." your face is peppered with billions of feathery kisses, swiping him away with your hands you attempt to push him away and sulk; only to make his offense stronger and kisses you more.

"miya, answer my damn question-"

"ooh, pulling out miya are we?" teasingly, he smirks and how attractive it is to watch that stupid man in front of you lovingly mock you.

"it's not that hard of a question to answer." crossing your arms and folding your legs, you move to the other side of the couch before he scooches towards you to gift a disgustingly fat and tender kiss on your cheek.

"okay, then what's yer favourite colour my love?"

"since i'm not like you," you humph annoyedly, "green."

"then simple, mine is red."

puzzled, you unfold your arms and atsumu's cheesy smiles widens in it itself, slightly beginning to look creepy so you push your palm against his face and move him away, and he laughs before coming in to hug you once more.

"they're complementary colours, baby. it's supposed to be romantic." chuckling, his face is attached to your stomach and he lays upon your body, although the position is awkward.

"it sounds like christmas. and what are complementary colours?" disproving his point and forgetting the reason why you asked him the question in the first place, you relax your body and sit up properly for atsumu to prop his head on your legs.

"they're like colours that are opposites but they're good together. like us. and what's wrong with christmas, scrooge?" twiddling your fingers between his, he mutters and awaits your response.

"that was corny, and you only enjoy christmas because you're not the one making the christmas list for all of our friends and family." flicking his head you scold him and he winces, before bringing your fingers back and trapping them in his hands.

"now i have an excuse to hold your hand as well as provide for my own safety!" he pauses for a moment, "hey i do help with christmas shopping."

"you chose to buy fuzzy dice for samu last year."

"that was a good 1800¥ spent."

"he doesn't even own a car."

"what matters is that we spend too much money on him and last year was a cool down compared to all the rocking gifts i've got him before."

"you know what, it's fine, i'll handle the shopping but you pay for it."

"i'll accept that. now, i need to go upstairs i have super secret agent stuff to attend." he kisses the top of your head and bolts upstairs.

"miya atsumu, i know you're changing the shopping basket gifts for samu! get back down here."

a/n: my exams are ending soon thank whoever is up there

[01:21] atsumu miya has a big crush on you

warnings none!

you weren't surprised that he stared at her; her features so delicate, yet sharp, gentle yet so bold. envy couldn't help but knock at your door as you notice that every class you catch him staring at her: your seatmate. much like all the other girls, you'd taken a liking to atsumu miya, the setter of the volleyball club.

you shared a few classes with him, but most of the time you sat apart in far distances from the room, your existence barely noticeable to his schedule. despite having a friendship with him several years back, he'd changed and drifted from you as a result of conflict in interest. blissful and short lived was the friendship, yet quality over quantity had truly reigned over that highlighted phrase, and you had come to terms with it yourself.

even though you had been friends with atsumu for two years as early teenagers; he made life feel like rainfall on a drought, sunshine in blistering winters. he'd provided you with chunks of happiness no other person could gift to you. losing him was a defeat on your behalf as you realised you weren't as important to him as you had thought.

sitting pretty your seatmate, emiko, sighed tirelessly at your cluelessness as you quietly groan at the reminder of atsumu never looking your way, when in reality it was the polar opposite.

watching you dejectedly sit every lesson beside her was a killjoy, and she'd wish you could notice that in reality atsumu had been burning holes into your face every class, and not her. although the chase was interesting to witness, it had taken far too long and she couldn't help but feel as if she'd become a wedge in the (yet to bloom) relationship.

"that ends this lesson, please make sure that all the people's names i've written on the board have handed in their assignment by tomorrow. you may all leave." like the speed of light, you pack up your books and are the first to leave the class, sparing no glance to the innocent setter waiting to grab your attention.

"miya-san," emiko calls out, "if you're going to stare at l/n-san all throughout the class, do it so they know that you're staring at them, not me."

atsumu's face burns red with embarrassment and he nods in accordance, before running towards the direction he assumed you headed. sighing yet again, emiko slowly packs her bags up and hopes that things between you and atsumu are cleared up.

a/n: this is kind of a whole like mutual pining thing but both love interests are dense and cant pick up hints ?? its really short though rip

crying omfg

It's a terrible day for rain

Man. Angst seems to be all I can write these days. Much thanks to a friend of mine who beta read this fic for me.

“Ne, Toru. You think one day we will be just like them? Start a family together? Have children, watch them grow up…” your voice trails off, watching a family of three play by the water.

The sun shines down, bathing the both of you in its golden glow. A small break in between missions is all the time he can get to spend with you, so most of the time your dates are simply taking walks with him.

“I’m sure we will,” he ruffles your hair, a small smile gracing his features. “Little Gojos running around the house, climbing all over you, won’t that be a sight to see.”

His hand slides over, long fingers intertwined with yours. His palm is warm, his touch gentle as he runs a thumb over your skin. You look up at him, confused as he places a feather light kiss to your knuckles, cheek and finally your lips.

“Any chance you have an extra heart? Mine’s been stolen!” he flashes you a cheeky grin, laughing as he dodges your attempt to slap him.

“That was so cheesy!” you yell. “At least try a little harder!”

“That’s all it took for you to fall for me though,” he hums. You can tell that his bright blue eyes are sparkling in mischief behind the blindfold. You don't need to see them to know what he’s feeling.

You laugh, smiling ever so brightly at him, words forming on your lips that are now lost to him.

The sound of rain fills his ears, and the water slowly turns red beneath his feet. He lifts his gaze to its source - a body, slumped against the wall stained with their blood. Crimson droplets fall from his fingers as he crouches, reaching over to brush back the hair covering their eyes. His finger shakily trails down their stone cold cheek, leaving a red streak behind.

Your body is cold, so cold. He’s not sure if the rain has made you colder, or if bodies of loved ones naturally felt colder than others, but all he can focus on is the fact that you’re just so cold, a far cry from the warmth he felt each time he hugged you tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against your lifeless face. He knows nothing will ever bring you back, least of all an empty apology. Saying it does nothing to alleviate the pain in his heart either.

“Gojo…” Utahime’s strained voice sounds behind him. He simply stands up, sliding his blindfold back on.

“We’re done here,” his voice betrays none of the turbulent emotions he feels as he walks away, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Ichiji remains silent as Gojo throws himself into the backseat of the car, slouching against the now wet leather seat.

“Home,” he says, nothing more. Ichiji doesn’t question anything. He knows of today’s mission, and from the looks of it, it was a success. If you could call it one.

The rest of the car ride is filled with silence, Gojo staring out of the window while Ichiji focuses on driving, leaving the sorcerer to grieve in peace. The sound of wipers clearing droplets of rain from the windshield is somehow noisier than usual, the high pitched squeaks piercing Gojo’s eardrums, reminding him of how alone he is now.

When your house slides into view, Gojo suddenly leans forward and says sharply, “No. Keep going. Drive to Jujutsu High.”

Surprised, Ichiji gives a quick nod, stepping on the accelerator again. Gojo flops back against the car seat, lifelessly watching your house pass by him in a blur. He can’t go back there anymore, not after he’s taken your life with his own hands.

Why’d you become a curse user? Why’d you turn against jujutsu society? Why’d you turn against him?

His hands begin to shake uncontrollably, memories of your last moments flashing through his mind. The way you were aiming for his throat, ready to kill, eyes filled with hate he never thought he’d see directed at him.

He had no choice. He had to put you down. In self-defense and to protect jujutsu society. Or so he keeps telling himself.

“I hate the higher-ups,” you mutter, kicking a small rock on the ground.

He raises an eyebrow at you, arm sliding around your waist, “oh, why?”

“I know what they’re trying to do by sending us on individual missions that are as far away from each other as possible. They want to separate us and take us out because they consider our relationship a threat,” you suddenly stop, looking up at him.

“I don’t want this stupid power play to continue,” you frown.

“Neither do I,” Gojo sighs. The both of you knew it was highly dangerous to get into a relationship and yet decided to take the risk, something he never regretted. You always brought a spark of joy into his life and made him feel like he could simply be Satoru, even if it was for brief moments at a time.

Each second he spent with you was a second where the burden of being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer was lifted from his shoulders, for he knew you were more than willing to help shoulder that responsibility.

“If only it was as simple as killing all of them,” you sigh, resting your head against his chest. He hugs you tighter in response, nuzzling his face into your hair.

“We will change this corrupt jujutsu society. One day we will have that happy family we dream of,” he whispers into your ear.

“I promise.”

So what went wrong along the way?

One moment you were happily stealing as much cotton candy from him as possible and the next you were out for his blood, mercilessly slaughtering any jujutsu sorcerer that stood in your way. What had happened during your last mission?

He couldn’t shake the fight from his memory. The way you refused to talk it out with him, your cursed energy baying for his blood as he did all he could to dodge your frenzied attacks whilst ensuring that he didn’t hurt you. That was the first time Gojo Satoru had ever been afraid in a fight, but it wasn’t for himself. He was afraid for you.

“Don’t get in my way!” you snarl, pushing his arm away and sending a burst of cursed energy at him. He dodges with ease, trying once again to grab your arm but you throw every last ounce of your jujutsu technique at him, wrestling your arm free.

“Calm down babe! Talk to me! What’s going on? We can get through this together!” he reaches out to you and once again you brush him off.

“Shut up! Either you stand aside and let me pass or you die alongside everyone else!” blood pours down your face from injuries sustained from earlier fights and into your eyes. Wiping it only causes the crimson liquid to be further smeared on your face and you spit out the blood that has trickled into your mouth.

“You’re already badly injured. I don’t want to hurt you any further,” Gojo frowns, throwing up Infinity to block all of your attacks.

You’re not thinking straight, he notes, as you continue to throw everything you have at him. Under normal circumstances, you would have cast domain amplification to override his Infinity but at present you hadn’t done so.

“Well that’s unfortunate,” you growl. “Because I have no qualms about hurting you!”

In your angry haze, your slip ups occur far more frequently and Gojo takes the opportunity to lock you in a choke hold.

“The higher ups have tasked me to kill you.”

He feels you tense against him, and for a split second he can see fear in your eyes but anger quickly returns as you spit your next words out like venom.

“So that’s what you’re here for? To kill me?”

“I don’t want to,” he releases you to prove his point, hands raised in surrender now that you’ve calmed down more. You slide into our fighting stance, eyes narrowed in suspicion but you’ve stopped trying to kill him. That’s a win in his book.

“So what are you here for?”

“To ask what happened that made them suddenly want you dead.”

You take a step forward, letting out a tired sigh.

“I killed someone important. They were trying to isolate me then kill me and pretend as though I died on the mission. But they underestimated my abilities. That’s why I’ve been branded as a traitor,” your cursed energy levels drop to a bare minimum as you slump against him, exhausted.

“You can’t do anything about it. Not as one person, no matter who you are. Because it’s undeniable that I killed an important jujutsu sorcerer, which is treason against jujutsu society.”

“No. I will find a way. I can’t lose you,” he shakes his head desperately. “You’re all I have left.”

“Toru. You have to leave me behind. For the sake of the new jujutsu world we dream of. I know you think you can't do it, but you have to move on. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my side of our promise,” you smile, cupping his cheek.

Taking a few steps back, you ready yourself for the fight to resume. You close your eyes and recall each and every time the higher ups stood in your way of a happy life with the man you love, letting the emotions consume you.

Your cursed energy levels spike once again, flooding your entire body. When your eyes opened for the last time, the unending anger has drowned everything else out.

“So, please forgive me.”

Back at Jujutsu High, he finds the small red box he meant to give you when you came back from your mission and opens it, staring at the thin metal band that lies within. The diamond inlaid in the metal no longer glimmers in the backdrop of the pouring rain, bringing fresh tears to his swollen eyes.

Letting out a broken yell, he throws both the box and ring out of the window, collapsing onto his bed.

“I’m sorry,” he sobs, hugging his knees to his chest and bowing his head.

But sorry can’t bring you back.