My Fave Is Problematic TO YOU. I Don't Give A Shit Tho

My fave is problematic TO YOU. I don't give a shit tho

Welcome to my account!!

hi everyone! my name is sonny but you can call me s i don’t mind! i’m 19 and my pronouns are she/her.

my favorite artists are 5 seconds of summer (obviously), ariana grande, olivia rodrigo, lana del ray, tate mcrae, victoria monet, one direction, and so many more i can’t think of rn!

i absolutely love making new friends so don’t be scared to shoot me a dm! i also love concerts, i haven’t been able to go in a couple years because of school and my health but i definitely need to go back!

i’m a huge broadway nerd. my favorite musical is wicked and hairspray. but i also love le miserables and Hamilton!

some of my intrests are makeup, skincare, shopping, thirfting!!, vinyl shopping, and singing. im also learning how to play piano and currently can play the acoustic guitar!

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

FOOL FOR YOUR LOVE • C.T.H

Mafia!Calum x Reader

Plot: Calum shuts Y/N out because he's convinced it's the only way to keep them safe. Little does he know, his actions end up causing even more damage than he anticipated.

Warnings: None!

"You say it's hard to tell what I've been thinking lately, but behind closed doors, I'm a fool for your love”

Calum POV

The sound of the front door slamming sent a knife through my heart. Pulling my head out of my hands felt nearly impossible as regret wasted no time seeping into my body. the words I spat at them meant nothing, I just wanted to keep them away from me for their sake. I grab a pack of beers to drink my woes away as I think of them, Y/N. Hopefully the taste and drown them put my head for the night.

As I lay between the sheets of this California king, the scent of their eucalyptus shampoo filled my nostrils. I wish life was simpler, just for them, because I'll be damned if I let them live in fear but it would also break my heart more if they feared me. I feel tears form in the corners of my eyes at the thought, I let them fall as I clapped the lights off and closed my eyes as I hoped to dream of their Angelic voice, the one drastically different from the wobbly one that rung through my loft earlier

Y/N POV

I wasn't strong enough to stop the waterfall as I sat in my car. I just wanted his heart, but it had seemed so far away these past few weeks. It didn't feel like Calum, It was a stranger that didn't recognize me. Nothing could have prepared me for today, I expected to easily get a simple answer to what was wrong but the words he spewed like venom shattered my heart. As I dried my face, I drove home with Calum on my mind every second of the drive.

The soapy water slipped down my body as I tried to relax in the shower. Trying to forget was just something I couldn't do. It felt a bit pathetic but how could I ignore him? He makes me feel euphoric and loved. I just wonder why'd he push me away, especially if he managed to confess the same feeling of love while trying to say he hated me.

It's 11:45 pm as I lay here with my phone in hand, the texting screen of his contact being the only light in the room. Thoughts like 'What if he blocks my number' along with thoughts of what should be said run through my mind, eventually I settle on one thing and hit send. A simple "I love you" rested as delivered on the screen for a few minutes before I shut it off. The fear of his answer had taken over me so I turned around and closed my eyes, slowly but surely drifting off to sleep.

Next day

Calum POV

'1:43 pm' the clock reads as I check my watch. I knew Y/N texted me but I couldn't get myself to open it, It felt shameful, especially since I let the words "I hate you" utter from my lips towards them. The urge to pick up my phone was strong but I knew I had to let my discipline be stronger, so I left it. Everything within the last 30 minutes of this meeting had been a blur but the only thing that I had properly retained was that we were targets, while that was a big problem I couldn't stop placing the feelings for Y/N in my heart above that.

We took a lunch break as there was more to talk about later. I walked into their favorite cafe out of habit, I could've sworn a tint of eucalyptus lingered in the air. Her best friend Elena stood behind the counter smiling at me. “I didn't expect to see you here” she beamed though it had a questioning undertone. “What do you mean?” I inquired, my mind couldn't have possibly been prepared for what she would say next.

Y/N POV

The radio blasted through my ears as I drove through the city with all my belongings in the back of my car. The fact that he didn't respond or read it was enough confirmation for me. I wanted to visit my comfort spot one last time before I left back home. As I closed the car door and walked under the large apple tree, memories of the past 8 months flooded my mind. His touch, taste, and scent filled my senses. I longed for it all, I longed for him.

Deep down a part of me wanted to hate him and his stupidly gorgeous face but another part of me loved him, so much that I'd give my life for him if he needed it. The tears started to flow quickly, I sat down on the dead grass and pushed my knees and head into my chest. I sobbed quietly, secretly wanting to feel his arms around me again. Just me and this apple tree forest surrounded the area, but still, it felt empty. I felt empty.

Calum POV

Y/N heading back home? That can’t be true right? My mind raced with thoughts of them. I whipped my phone out to finally read the text message, a simple “I love you.” highlighted in blue on my screen. I had to look for them, follow them. I don't want them to leave, especially because of me.

Transportation by foot since I didn't bring my car was my only option today, worry about not making it fast enough took up my spirit’s freedom as I’ve been to Sunshine National now or their fourth favorite spot in the city as they say. There was only one last chance to find her and that was the apple forest, she showed it to me a while ago, it's her favorite place to be during stressful times. The ring of my cellphone cut me out of my thoughts briefly as I saw it was Michael, my right-hand man.

“Dude, Where the fuck are you?” the pink-haired man questioned. “Busy, why?” I said blankly. An irritated sigh left the other’s lips following my last response. “Busy doing fucking what? You've left me here with a bunch of guys asking where the boss is.” I was seeing the hill to the forest and happiness consumed me as I saw their unique colored car there as well. I let out him as I searched for a response finally I let out something for the pinkie on the phone, “Tell them it's canceled and to go home” I clicked the red button quickly as I saw Y/N, my Y/N to be frank.

I yelled out for them but received nothing. I jogged my way to the weeping soul under the tree, the same scent of my tainted bed sheets filled my nose again. It brought me a warming comfort, as I placed my arm around them. Their head popped up to look at me, being in utter shock. As if it was an instinct I connected the space between us, crashing our lips together. To my surprise, they kissed back. I pulled away so we could catch our breaths, and as soon as I did they began to speak, I let out a hush sound to keep them silent. I couldn't help it anymore. It was becoming painful to hold the contents of my heart. I held Y/N close and looked into their eyes with tears filling mine, “Don't ever leave. I know I seemed off but that's because I kept trying to shut you out. I won't ever do that again, I was a fool to my feelings.” I let the tears stream down my face, they made me feel comfortable enough to do so, and they made me feel warm. I placed my head into their neck, their soft hands reaching up to comb through my hair. “I was such an idiot thinking I wanted you out of my life.” I spoke in a squeaky, drained voice.

“when in reality, behind closed doors, I'm a fool for your love.”

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abt to crank this playlists up and write what some ideas down

"why does writing take so long" because 60% of it is coming up with a sentence, realizing that sentence doesn't work the way you want it to, and staring at a wall