Hi !! Saw Requests For Song Fics Are Open, May I Request Something Angsty With Fem!human!reader X Megatron

hi !! saw requests for song fics are open, may I request something angsty with fem!human!reader x megatron (idw) to ‘young and beautiful’ by lana del rey ? 🥹 <3 thank you in advancee

Young and Beautiful (IDW Megatron x Fem!Human!reader)

Word count: 1,070

Eighty years. Humans lived for a measly eighty years.

You change right before Megatron’s optics. Your hair grays, your skin sags, your bones grow thinner. Like the very universe was sapping you away from him. Vector Prime alone could grant him all the time he needed to write a poem about all of the moments he lived with you.

But how could he begin to write when every time he picked up his stylus, you were that much further from him? He longed to capture the feeling of you and immortalize it in a data pad, but then you’d touch your tiny, soft servo along his gray bottom lip plate and take him away. Remind him that you were his moment. Here for a second, gone in a blink.

You flare, you flicker, you fade.

You asked him once, if he’d love you even after you weren’t so soft. You weren’t so pretty. And your mind wasn’t as intact as it once was.

Megatron’s answer was immediate.

“Even once the spark of your life extinguishes, and I won’t stop even for a klik after.”

You may have lamented the way time and age changed you, but Megatron learns to see unique beauty in it. There was something beautiful in a life lived so long that you COULD age, it was a promise of peace and resilience. You lived, you fought, you came back again and again. A force so strong that it took time itself to put you down.

Megatron thought that was romantic. Not in the way of kisses in summer or dancing in the moonlight, but the cosmic way. In the way that atoms and space dust collect together and become new stars, or how he realizes, in the grand scheme of things, so, so many tiny and nearly impossible things had to happen for you to be his.

As you grew older, you grew more rapt by his poetry. You blamed it on growing old and sentimental, he argued you were always sentimental. You had always found it fascinating, but Megatron believed that perhaps you took some comfort in it.

“Do you think, because I love you… I’ll be there in the Afterspark waiting for you?”

You were resting against his neck cables, curled up between his shoulder armor and helm vents like a tiny glitch mouse. The ardent heat of energon pulsing up the lines of his throat felt good and helped soothe some of the arthritis in your hands. He had to rest his chin on his servo, propping his helm up at an angle to keep from squishing you, but he hadn’t the spark to stop you.

It’s a question that he’d pondered many times. For he who often pondered the nature of all things grand, the question of life after death was a philosophist’s energon and mineral tablets. 

“You do not have a spark,” He points out, shifting his helm minutely to a position slightly more comfortable for you to tuck yourself under, “So I would not expect you to be held to the same rules and expectations of Primus.”

“But, your God is real.” You raise as a counterpoint, “Any proof that various human gods are real could be considered dubious at best.”

“That is a point for the high queries of gods, but what of your lack-there-of spark?”

“What is a spark but life?” You offer, gesturing with your hands and making the round shape of a spark before your breast. Megatron loathed to move you from your warm perch, so instead he tips the data pad in his servo so he can see your tiny reflection. You look comfortable, hidden securely in his collar fairings. “Perhaps I DO have a spark, but it’s simply just a different form. After all, energy cannot be destroyed. It merely changes form.”

You chuckle, knocking your knuckles against his neck cables. “Julius Robert Mayer.”

“A human philosopher?” Megatron asks, setting his datapad aside to instead settle for reaching up and touching his digit to your lap. You take the hint immediately, and hold his huge digit between your two itty bitty hands. 

“Founder of the laws of energy conservation. Suppose most of us are philosophers in some way, though.”

You have to be, with lives so short and bright. Megatron keeps that thought private to himself, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. You were feeling thinner and thinner these days. He hoped you ate well enough.

“So, what have we come to the conclusion of in this conversation?” You prompt, bringing back your point, “That there is no true way to say I do not have a spark, and that it’s ultimately far more likely that Primus and his Afterspark wait for me than say… The Christian or Hebrew concept of God.”

“For there are too many to count.”

“For there are too many to count.” You agree, “But it is the most commonly applicable and the most similar to Primus.”

“But,” Megatron clicks his glossa, a smile coming to his face. He loved it so  when he could have these in-depth conversations with you. “That is also dismissing that humanity is a much younger culture than Cybertron was. Perhaps you will find proof that these things are indeed true, or perhaps something you had not even considered. Perhaps in the afterlife, you will have a veritable plethora of ‘heavens’ to choose from.”

“Then I’d choose to wait for you.” You say, “Or I’d choose some religion where I’d be reborn and I could fall in love with you again.”

“You could live again, redo all of the things you had missed. Unmake all of your mistakes.”

“You talk as if I considered you a mistake.”

He feels your tiny, cool lips press to the pulsing line of energon that is connected directly to his spark chamber. You laugh, giddy and sounding just as young as you were when he first met you. There’s a well of emotion there in his chest and, if not for millions of years of carefully cultivated control, he might have sobbed.

Instead, he settles for curling the whole of his huge, warm servo against your body, and recording this moment for all of time. The moment he writes on his spark that you wanted to be his in any life.

“I suppose it is not a mistake then, if you do not regret it.”

Songs that sound like Gyutaro singing

Daki songs also featured

(sorry for this unprompted showcase and unintentional rant/essay but it's midnight I needed to get this off my chest bc it's been on my mind for a year and I need to have other people know)

Cw: a lot of these songs contain lyrics describing toxic relationships and death/suicide. If these topics trigger you, then please don't listen to them. I'll apply a warning to every song mentioned just in case

So, Gyutaro and Daki are the only characters in care about in Demon Slayer (no joke I skipped season 1 and the first few episodes of season 2 bc I only wanted to see them lol) and I absolutely love their voices oml.

Ryōta Ōsaka is now my favorite voice actor. His rasps and growls hit hard.

So I feel the need to assign playlists to all my favorite characters. And I have this weird thing where I like to imagine the characters singing these songs specifically so I try to find artists who sound similar.

So here are some covers by the YouTuber Chogakusei that I think sound close to Gyutaro (and what I think he'd personally sing in a modern au setting lol).

All of the original songs he is covering are linked in his video descriptions back on YouTube if you ever wanted to check them out.

Also all 3 of these songs have English captions available!

1. Hindrance

Cw: people being deceitful, people being paranoid of each other(?), general animosity and spite towards others, jealousy against other people, mention of children fighting

I could honestly write an entire essay on how the lyrics coincide with Gyutaro's entire life and backstory. It all fits so well with his spitefulness towards the world and how quick he is to resort to violence.

Especially in the beginning when he's mocking this person for being so "good" and seemingly perfect. It just reminds me about how he mocked Tengen and the samurai that tried to kill Ume by burning her.

And the lyrics "Children turning into fighters in an instant" makes me think of how he was essentially forced to resort to violence back when he was a human bc everyone treated him like shit (also him having to be Ume's bodyguard bc she also had to become a sex worker just so they could get food. "Fighters" doesn't always have to mean a physical brawler. It could also refer to someone who's pushing back against the shit hand life gave them via taking whatever opportunity they can)

And when Chogakusei sings "jealousy let's run" my heart just went agh yep that's Gyutaro

2. Neroism

Cw: mentions of a suicide note, person lamenting on how bad life is, person telling others to go die

I'm pretty sure this song is actually about a girl who decides to commit suicide bc of how much her life sucks. But the way Chogakusei sings it just changes the whole vibe into a man so spiteful and hateful towards the world for making his life so terrible, which just matches Gyutaro perfectly

When he sings "Yes, just be sad and die" I'm again reminded of how Gyutaro treats Tengen for being so handsome and wanting him to go die

The growls are just on point with this song oml

(also at the end when he starts the "ahahaha" I imagine it as his head getting cut off and tumbling to the ground like in the anime if this was an animatic :) just to make you feel as sad as me)

3. Bocca della Verità

Cw: mentions of an abusive/toxic relationship, complete hatred towards another person, original music video/lore alludes to a deal with a devil(?), alludes to the abusive person getting killed(?), lyrics mention the singer being dragged into the abyss/possibly hell(Presumably I think???)

I've got no excuse this is just bc he's an angy man.

The screams and growls just fit him, y'know? So does the very harsh "I HATE YOU" mentality

That being said y'all should check out his channel just bc he's an amazing artist and he deserves all the support in the world for his amazing voice!

Now ik I only picked 3 songs for Gyutaro but pretty much any of the songs Chogakusei sang on his channel can be interpreted as gyutaro singing bc he does the good growl voice in basically all of them. I just picked the ones that had lyrics similar to Gyutaro.

But there's still more to talk about my dear friends bc I want to mention Daki as well (don't worry Gyutaro is involved here too and he'll be back in another song lol)

First of all Daki's voice actor (Miyuki Sawashiro) is my second favorite voice actor now bc do you guys know how hard it must be to sound like you're sobbing and whining like a child? I know I would be absolute shit at it and too embarrassed to even try. She's got mad vocal cords and that deserves praise

But I feel like it's harder to find a match with any one singer. It's not as distinct and unique as Gyutaro's but still feels like no one can really replicate it? Idk man

I have two different options currently but I'm biased towards them bc I don't know a lot of Japanese singers that are women so oops on my part.

This is also all based on my headcanon that Daki would sing with a raspier voice than compared to how she normally talks as a sort of allude to her brother

(also bc a while back my choir teacher taught us that the human vocal cords like to mimic other people's vocal cords when they sing/talk. That's why your throat hurts after listening to screamo/metal music all day. Your vocal cords are vibrating to try and mimic the artist who is straight up screeching into the mic - except their throat is trained to do that and yours isn't. My teacher called it vocal mimicry but when I try looking it up, all google shows is of parrots mimicking human speech so maybe this is all made up crap ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But anyway I feel like growing up around someone with a raspy voice you'd start picking up on it yourself)

Here's some links of Daki talking if y'all want a refresher on her voice:

-- https://youtu.be/2EuJL1m8dEA

-- https://youtu.be/CKzCrkCoOsE

-- https://youtu.be/HlIhNxSqp_c

(just watch like the first 3 minutes)

-- https://youtu.be/eXlCav0N4QY

(just watch like the first 3 minutes)

Daki can clearly be high pitched but also can get pretty low. There's also a little squeakiness in her speech, like maybe little hitches/voice cracks but it's not overpowering. What I hear most of tho (correct me if I'm wrong lol, my hearing could be off) is that she has a certain cadence to her voice, like there's a resonance in the back of her throat that makes her almost kinda echoy??? Or at least a layered voice?? Am I making any sense here????

But either way. I needed to find a singer who can growl, go to both high and low pitches and who has a resonance in their voice.

So my wonderful friends that is why I have chosen our first option as...

Ado 🎉

I feel like this is a generic/expected response when finding female singers who can growl but I still think it can work.

I'm also mostly focusing on the songs she sang before her debut (as in before the release of Ussewa)

I'll be staying whether these songs are covers or not under their titles.

And Tokyo Cannibalism is the only Ado song on this list with English captions. The rest don't but you can suck it up and appreciate good music without knowing the words. I know you've done it before.

1. Brain Revolution Girl

Cover song. Original from Maretu

Cw: picture alludes to self harm, lyrics possibly allude to suicide, sexual abuse or online bullying( the meaning is up for interpretation)

Like just from listening to the first 1:30 of the song and I can already imagine Daki screaming into the mic. Especially with the voice crack when Ado screams "ah!" at 1:11

2. Tokyo Cannibalism

Collab with YouTuber biz

Cw: visuals of people being eaten, visuals of giant bugs, visuals of people being eaten by said giant bugs, general gore with blood and body mutilation

This one leans more into that high pitched, whiney sort of voice Daki has. Y'know, when she has a meltdown in front of Tengen and when everyone compares her to a boiling teapot? Yeah that.

Also the song's premise kinda goes along with her being a demon and eating people

3. Bocca della Verità

Cover song. Original by Hiiragi kirai

Cw: mentions of an abusive/toxic relationship, complete hatred towards another person, music video/lore alludes to a deal with a devil(?), alludes to the abusive person getting killed(?), lyrics mention the singer being dragged into the abyss/possibly hell(Presumably I think???)

:)

Also the best part about imagining Daki as Ado and Gyutaro as Chogakusei means that their Collab video is the perfect song to imagine the siblings singing together!!

4. Eraser Girl

Cover song. Original by Maretu

Cw: (I genuinely don't know bc I can't figure this song out so I'm looking online for the meaning) life generally sucking for two people and treating them like crap(?), maybe those two people kill themselves in the end (??), maybe those two people are girls and are gay for each other but society is just a bunch of homophobes(???)

Ok so maybe not a perfect song for the siblings lyrical wise, but vocally speaking it still works (at least in my book lol)

That's all I have from Ado. Once again show your support over on YouTube by watching more of what interests you bc she's an amazing artist.

Now I'm about to fall asleep (it's 1:40 in the morning as I write this sentence) so I'll quickly go by my second option for Daki which is...

Raon 🎉

She was one of the first Japanese artists I listened to so I'm definitely biased here. But her voice is just so good like she can do so many cool pitches it's crazy.

For here I'll be showing the ones where she has a sort of raspy-growl in her voice.

This is what I imagine Daki's voice would be in a modern au if her profession was ever singing - a slight whisper of something unhinged but still very smooth and alluring.

Most of these picks are focused on the voice aspect, so what the lyrics say aren't really of importance.

And all of these songs have English captions.

All of these songs listed under Raon are covers. The originals will be linked in the description of her YouTube videos.

1. Envy Baby

Cw: abusive/toxic relationship

2. Darling

Cw: abusive/toxic relationship

3. Ameotome (Rain Maiden)

Cw: abusive/toxic relationship

The voice isn't what I imagine exactly, but I feel like the lyrics are something Daki would actually sing.

So that's all I have in terms of songs.

Remember to show support for all 3 creators bc they are so talented and deserve the attention.

It is now 2:37 on the morning, so I'm gonna go pass out. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Until next time my friends :)

INSANITY , dracule mihawk

★

summary ; mihawk would do anything to get his lover back.

warnings ; gender neutral reader , angst , character death , implied depression , slight necrophilia ? ( kissing a dead person )

a/n ; this was gonna be smut but like . . . i wasnt ready to write it yet. i wanted the sadness to sink in first. maybe i'll do a part two if im convinced x3 ( im working on requests at the moment, maybe drop one if u want !! )

★

★

death is devastating.

to know someone will never come back and that you'll never see them in person again, it's agonizing. especially when you have unfinished business with them.

it's like mold, growing the more you refuse to clean it. to clean it would mean to rid of the thought, how could you ever rid of that person you love?

how could mihawk ever get rid of you?

the only person who ever stood by him, who kept pushing towards him, who understood him.

the day you died, you took a piece of him with you. the day they lowered your casket into the ground, they lowered him as well. 

it's been hurting, rotting. he needs that piece of him back.

he needs you back.

which is what leads him to the graveyard, with a shovel and an empty bottle of wine. his forehead was slick with sweat, mixing in the drops of rain pouring from the night sky. the thoughts had been plaguing his mind, spotting his vision with images of you, distorted and distraught. he needed to get rid of them, to bring you back for good.

the shovel plummeted into the ground, mud plastering itself onto his wet boots. the rain continued to pour, small puddles now surrounding him. the lightning cracked, shooting through the sky. on rainy days like these, you'd often beg mihawk to watch the rain pour. he'd always decline, but now he only wishes he could go back and sit with you all those times.

there's a pile of wet dirt growing and growing, the longer he scoops its up, growing closer to where they put your body. the shovel wasn't enough, it couldn't pull enough dirt. so, he tosses it to side, gets on his knees, and begins scratching and shoveling through the dirt with his bare hands.

dirt finds itself under his usually clean nails, but he could care less. he couldn't wait any longer. his sweetheart was only a casket away.

the rain soaked his white button up, sticking to his toned body. his hair was damp, loose strands falling over his face. nobody would believe it, that the world's greatest swordsman was on his knees, digging up his deceased lover. it was pathetic, sad, how someone as simple as you had him throwing his pride away.

his fingers felt the touch of a hard surface, his stomach dipping. there it was, the box that held the only thing he wanted. for a moment, a grin stretches across his face. it's maniacal. his eyes were blown, the once hazel orbs now full-on gold, glowing in the rainy night.

his hands grip the sides of the casket, nails digging into the wood. with all his might, he pulls over the lid, finally revealing it. you.

there you laid, eyes closed. mihawk chuckled sadly. you were as beautiful as you were the day you died. your skin was drained of color, sickly looking. he only stared at you for a moment, taking in your image. he couldn't believe it. you were finally back, in front of him. with him, right where you belonged.

a droplet of rain falls onto your face, breaking mihawk out his trance. he scrambles to grab your limp body, holding you close to his wet body. he kissed your face, lacking the warmth you once carried with your presence. mihawk spoke softly, voice slightly cracking.

"shh . . . i know it's cold, my love. we'll be back home soon, in warmth, together."

the world's greatest swordsman had lost his mind.

★

Louder than Words - Portgas D. Ace

Portgas D. Ace x Reader

This is like the mushiest piece I have written. I was kinda embarrassed...but here it is. Let's give him the hugs and space he needed huh? This could also be a message to you lovelies out there too. MasterList linked at the bottom too!

Ace didn’t know what came over you, but whatever it was, he wasn’t complaining. Per se. 

You’d cupped his face gently, rubbing your thumbs along his cheeks tenderly, while he just looked back at you, curious. He smiled, in hopes of easing or appeasing whatever drudge was swirling in his chest and tainting this moment, “everything alright?”

You hummed and nodded at him, not a line on your expression but the bliss that pulled at your lips, revealing your peaceful serenity to him. His breath hitched slightly as you pressed your lips to his forehead, lingering for a moment. Then a shorter peck to his nose, before nuddling it back and forth with your own. He reopened his eyes when you tilted his head, still cradled in your palms, and pressed kisses to either of his cheeks.

You pulled away enough to look him in the eyes, and he felt his heart chase after you, beating with a tenacity meant to jump ship from his chest to yours. Your eyes dropped to the last target on his face, and he felt his entire physiology twist in anticipation.

You guided his face to yours gently, holding him as though he was the most prized treasure of all the seas. If he ever said that aloud, you would agree. 

Your own personal One Piece. 

You guided him, and he followed eagerly, gravitating towards you naturally, and you met him somewhere in the middle, colliding in an explosion of euphoria, igniting the wiring of his entire being.

His every sense sharpened, yet by attuning himself to your every move he melded into you. He-his edges-seemed to all but disappear as he chased after you unwilling to disconnect for a moment longer than necessary. Your pull, irresistible-inevitable as he continued to dive deeper into it.

Deeper and deeper. 

Closer and closer. 

Chest to chest. 

Heart to heart.

Until you gently guided him away, again cradling his face and rubbing sweet, sweet, tender circles into his skin, massaging your warmth into him. Your eyes again held his, and gosh you’re just so beautiful. He’s pulled out of his daze when he felt your chest struggling under his. You’re panting slightly, your breathing a little strained, and he realized that his weight on you definitely isn’t helping. 

He lifted himself up just slightly-unwilling to completely part but-no longer crushing you. He couldn’t help but wonder: when had he ended up on top of you like this?

You’re gently moving his head about in your palms again, pressing another kiss to his forehead. Then another to the crown of his head and for a moment he’s so glad he showered and washed his hair yesterday.

“I’m so thankful to have you in my life,” you breathed into his skin, lips inscribing the words into his forehead, and tugging on his heart strings.

Again his head is guided by your hands and again his eyes are treated to the sight of yours. Like a rope with a knot catching onto a splinter of wood, the air caught inside his chest. Your own eyes trailed over his features, slowly, carefully, as though committing every part of him, every detail, to memory. You studied him with a sort of reverence, your awe manifesting in a choked gasp and subtle widening of the eyes.

Your hands slowly slipped from his face, and he found himself missing your touch immediately. Thankfully, he didn’t have to part with it for long. 

“I am so grateful,” your fingers ghosted along his cheek moving to his lips, “that you exist,” your words tugged at that stuck knot.

“That you were born,” a warmth spread through his chest - yet he couldn’t breathe. 

“That you exist in this world - and that I,” your expression became impossibly soft, “that I get to know you.” 

He opened his mouth desperate to return the sentiment, but you continued gently tracing his lips as you did, “that you’re allowing me to love you like this.”

He couldn’t-

You let out a little squeak at the speed and force with which he sat the two of you up and held you. His fingers interwoven with your hair, his nose buried in your neck, his other hand pressing you into him, melding you into his body. Soon enough, even his legs came to wrap around your own, completely preventing any chance of escape.

Though to be honest, you escape to him, not from him. 

Oh the things you did to him. 

He might be made of fire, but his devil fruit couldn’t protect him from the way your affections effectively set fire to his very brain-his heart. His chest heaved, pressing against yours, his eyes water and his grip tightened. Tremors overtook him as he fought the urge to crush you completely into his body. 

How could joy resemble a knife tearing through his chest? How could the tearing pain feel so delightful? The contradictions were enough to make his head spin and his thoughts knot up.

A gentle hand - your gentle hand slowly worked its way through his hair, patiently undoing any tangles your fingers came about, consequently undoing the intricate knotting of the net entangling his mind. The delicate trails your fingertips drew along his scalp soothed his thoughts such that each raging beastly emotion was conquered in turn. It wasn’t too long before he’d vanquished the confusion, your tender care steering him to clarity.

You were steering him towards dreamland too if he’s honest, as his consciousness began to ebb under the rhythmic flow of your fingers through the waves of his hair. It wasn’t long before it plunged completely into the ocean of unconsciousness. 

// ——

When he regained consciousness you were seated beside him, reading something or another. You were really engrossed in whatever it was you were reading, so much so that you startled a little when his hand lethargically claimed your own, pulling it closer to him.

He brushed his lips on the back of it, grinning up at you with eyes that drooped with the sleep still in them. He delighted in the flustered expression you wore in response to his own affections, blinking at you slowly. You marked your page with your free hand, before closing the book to give him your undivided attention.

“How was your nap, love?” Love you called him. Love.

His eyelids closed, succumbing to the weight they seemed to carry, basking in the bliss washing over him like a gentle summer shower. 

Love. 

He could hear you moving about, his hold on your hand tightening as you shifted. A little groan left him as he struggled to open his eyes and mouth to speak to you. You were not helping with how your other hand came to comb his hair again, but he managed, “mmm you’re…gon’ make me fall ‘sleep ‘gain.”

“Then that means you need more sleep m’love,” m’love, not just any love, your love. Yours. 

He was your love. 

Yours.

He was yours. Happily so. Forever would be too. If you’d have him. 

He hummed, lips weakly pushing through sleep to show you his satisfaction. 

Your voice was much closer to him now, speaking from right above his head, and he fought an uphill battle trying to open his eyes to look at you. His whole body felt heavy, completely sapped of strength. Heck even his grip on your hand was as limp as ever. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was in contact with sea stone or something. 

He felt you press your lips to his forehead again, gently fueling him enough to pull his lips into a drowsy, wobbly, smile. 

“Get some rest love,” you spoke softly, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Stay wit mmmmm,” talking was proving to be a challenge, “c’mere.”

He threw a heavy arm over what he hoped was your waist. It probably was? Gosh he couldn’t care with the way you were giggling next to him. 

“Sure thing love,” you had to be doing some kind of magic with how he felt like he was levitating despite the weight that seeped into his bones, “just let me brush my teeth first.”

He couldn’t hold you down if he wanted to with how tired he was, “mmm back soo,” he mumbled.

“Sure thing,” his lips wobbled themselves into a smile as you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead again. 

He was out instantaneously. You kept your promise though; through his daze he felt you slip in and embrace him. Seems like his body knew what to do too, despite its earlier lack of cooperation, and he wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you in return before he was out again.

He woke up in your arms. 

His head rested against your chest, with your arm languidly around his shoulders. Taking in a deep breath filled him with the nostalgia of the scent of home. A home that did not exist in his memories. Which meant it probably existed in his imagination then. A home that could be. A home with you.

It was the scent of home nonetheless. 

He tightened his hold on your waist nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

I’m so grateful you exist.

His arms instinctively tightened.

That you were born. 

His inhale was a stuttery one, his own lips and vision stuttering as well. He buried his face further into your neck, taking in your scent again. Yet all that did was push the tears out faster. 

That was the opposite of what he’d expected! 

Urgh. One of those hot, salty blobs ended up on your skin.

To his relief, and dismay - oddly enough - you remained unconscious. Your eyes closed and breathing consistent. Though that didn’t last long, as you shifted slightly, the arm around his shoulder worked to pull him into you, as your other one came up to play with his hair-you really liked doing that huh?

“Get it aaall,” your voice was thick with sleep, “get it all…out,” you hummed a bit, “let all that poison out.”

“Darlin’, did I wake you?” It was pathetic how his voice cracked - he hated this weakness that was welling up...again.

Just like that, your hold on him tightened, your lips pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head. 

“I’d be upset if you didn’t,” you sounded much more awake now, “you’re one of the people I want to be there for the most.”

Unfortunately, a choked sob left him. Gosh he was so pathetic. He was a full grown man! He wasn’t supposed to be some weak crybaby! To think he used to get mad at Luffy for crying too!

Yet…

He. couldn’t. stop.

His shoulders shook, the tremors traveled his body, and a violent shiver wracked it. Yet you laid and held him and ran your fingers through his hair, kissing your favorite spot on his forehead consistently. Every kiss, every gentle brush of your loving fingers tenderly working through his hair, every tender trace of your fingertips on his scalp, brought a fresh wave of tears to follow the next. At some point he’d started clutching on to you, like you were the life-ring preventing him from drowning.

He wasn’t sure how long you two stayed like that. All he knew that in between his sniffles and his sobbing there was your voice. 

“Get it all out love,” you lightly encouraged - as though he wasn’t lesser for crying like a baby. 

“I’m so proud of you,” you said a few times too - as though this pathetic display wasn’t shameful.

“I love you so much,” you reaffirmed time and time again stroking his hair - as though his weakness didn’t make him less desirable.

For whatever reason he didn’t doubt a word. Despite the mental cesspool working overtime to drown him in darkness, the light of your honesty shone through. No matter how far he fell, it followed.

He wasn’t sure how long you two lay there, holding each other, and he wasn’t sure when he’d lost consciousness again. His eyes were so incredibly heavy when he woke up again though. They must be swollen from all his crying. You weren’t next to him this time, however as his senses came back to him, he could hear the sounds of a pen scratching and paper flipping.

When he sat up, he noticed a pitcher of water and a tall glass with an opaque yellow-tinted liquid and some mint leaves in it-lemonade probably-on the bedside table. He had a moment to locate you at his desk before you turned to face him, “hey there.”

“Hey,” he croaked, voice still thick from lack of use.

You put the pen down, got up, and walked towards him with a kind smile, “I made you some lemonade, and got some water,” you sat down near his legs, “gotta replace all those fluids you lost.”

That got a chuckle out of him, “your lessons with Marco are going well, huh?”

“I also have a lot of personal experience with these things,” you grinned at him.

“With crying like a baby?” 

You just hummed and nodded.

“This might sound bad,” you weren’t looking at him as you confessed, “but I’m kind of…” you trailed off, shooting him a quick glance, “happy,” you shrunk, your shoulders reaching your ears, “you felt safe enough to be that vulnerable with me.”

“So, you liked seeing me cry?” He poked at you. “Should I cry more for you, doll?”

“Ace,” you groaned, your smile only growing fonder as you looked at him.

“Didn’t peg you for a masochist,” he kept teasing, “I’m not sure how I feel about this kink of yours.”

He loved the way you rolled your eyes, but revealed your teeth with how big your smile was getting. “I don’t like seeing you cry,” you corrected, “I like that you feel safe with me.”

You paused, then appended, “well safe enough to not hide your pain.”

“Hide my pain?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Crying is one way to get pain out of your body,” you twisted your body to face him more fully, voice soft as you shared your opinion, “emotional pain especially.”

“Isn’t crying just weakness?” He frowned at you. 

“No?”

“It’s not?” 

“Do you think I’m weak when I cry?”

“No.”

“Then?”

“But you’re a woman.”

A tired look flashed over your features momentarily, “so men aren’t allowed to cry?” You challenged, tone still as patient as ever.

“Only weak men cry,” for some reason the words sounded less convincing in your presence.

“Who says?” His gaze snapped up to meet yours and you repeated yourself, “who said?”

“Isn’t it just something that everyone knows?” His brow furrowed, scowl taking his features. 

“No,” you paused as you said that, “well I guess in a sense,” you squinted at nothing, “yes… it is something that many people assume.”

“You just saw me cry like a baby,” he countered, “you don’t think I’m weak?”

“On the contrary,” he felt his eyes widen despite the weight embedded into them, “you’ve been carrying all that pain.” 

An ache tormented your gentle expression, “and you choose kindness and warmth and bring joy to those you care about despite it,” you looked him in the eye again, “that isn’t something a weak person could do.”

A shiver traveled down his spine at the way your eyes studied him, softening as you opened your mouth to speak again, “kindness is the mark of the strong, Ace,” you placed your hand on top of his notably larger one, pride dripping from your voice, “and you’re so incredibly kind.”

What was with you and stealing the air from his lungs? He felt his chest constrict like he’d been punched too.

“We’re so lucky to have you in our lives,” your thumb traced circles onto the back of his hand, “we’re even luckier to be loved by you.”

He could feel that prickling in the back of his eyes he was becoming way too familiar with for his liking. “We really have to do something about that crying kink of yours,” he joked.

You scoffed, shaking your head, but you weren’t mad. “I think I’m just going to have to tell you more often how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

His heart lurched in his chest, “I think I’m the lucky one.”

“We can both be lucky.”

“Then I’m luckier.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yea huh.”

“Agree to disagree?”

“No,” he has a huge grin on his face at your scowl. 

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, rising from the bed with a dramatic sigh, “I’ll let you believe whatever you want to believe.”

“Oi!” He couldn’t help the chuckle that left him.

“Drink some water and your lemonade, love,” you gave him a little peck on his forehead again, “then let’s get you showered and fed.”

He caught your wrist as you moved away, “where are you going?”

“To the desk,” you blinked at him.

“What’re you up to there?”

“I’m just going through some paperwork,” he really was the luckier one of the two of you.

“Marry me,” the words flew out of his mouth before his mind could even register them in his thoughts.

You laughed, raising your left hand for him to view, “already did.”

Shoot.

“Now,” mirth still colored your expression, “you drink your lemonade while I get these papers done.”

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted you and allowed you to slip out of his grasp.

It was when he’d finally moved to lean back against the wall and grabbed the drink you’d prepared that he heard you giggle a little. Strange, given what you were working on, “see something funny?”

“No,” you singsonged, cheerfully wiggling in your seat, “it’s just my husband asked me to marry him, again, and I’m feeling very happy.”

His head clunked against the wall he rested against, heat rushing to his cheeks as a disgruntled groan left him, despite the way he was grinning, “I swear I didn’t forget.”

“I didn’t think you did, love,” you giggle some more, turning slightly to look at him, “I’m just so happy you would want to marry me, again.”

“I’d marry you again every day if I could,” he took a swig of his lemonade enjoying the way you fought and failed to keep your smile contained as it threatened to split what he could see of your face.

You turned back around and he could see that you were fighting to focus on the papers in front of you. 

“How about we have another wedding on the Moby Dick?” He found himself scooching his way down the bed, his excitement uncontained. “We can get you a proper dress this time! Your own!”

He looked up thinking some more, “and I’ll wear a proper suit with a vest and a tie and everything!”

“I’m surprised you know about vests and ties,” you shot him a teasing grin.

“Hey! I took some etiquette classes as a kid!” 

“You did?”

“I didn’t tell you?” He’d have to tell you more about his life before he set sail then. “Yeah back when I was in the East Blue,” it’s been a while since he left huh? “Makino-a barmaid from the village nearby-taught me manners.”

“So she’s the one that taught you about vests and ties?”

“Yeah,” oh wait a second, “we can have Thatch make us a huge cake and a feast!” Now that he was back on the original topic he had so many ideas! “Pops can officiate! Marco can be the one to bring you down the aisle! And-and-”

“You really want to have another wedding then?” You were now turned to face him completely.

“Yeah! How about it?” He scooched even closer to you. “Our first one was nice too, but we were in a hurry and I remember we had to go with whatever we had.”

“Is it bad that I liked our small, humble wedding?”

“Huh? No of course not! It was great!” Where did that come from? “I’m just saying we can have another so I can ‘marry you again.’”

“Hmm the idea of seeing you all dressed up in a three piece suit is tempting,” you hummed.

He guffawed a bit at that. “I’d probably mistake you for an angel if I saw you in a white dress.”

“Aww you wouldn’t recognize me?”

“Nah because,” he smirked, “I’d be blinded by how beautiful you’d look.”

When you hunched your shoulders to your ears and looked away a bit, his chest swirled with pride. He was getting better at this flirting with you thing!

“Maybe we shouldn’t then,” sounds of protest were leaving him before he knew it, “I don’t want to blind you.”

That had the two of you laughing.

When you calmed down, you turned back towards the work waiting for you, “there isn’t much left to do commander, so stop distracting me.”

Your distraction quickly chugged the rest of that refreshing glass of juice, and moved back to pour himself a glass of water. Something seemed to click within his head as he pondered your order: “I’m distracting now, am I?”

“Very.”

He burst out laughing. “Well we’re even then,” he proceeded to take a loud slurp of water.

He almost choked on it laughing when he saw you startle a bit, his flirt landing well with you again. 

Cradling his glass, he opted to just watch you work. He’d make your second wedding happen. You deserved to be celebrated again and again. Besides, it’s not like pirates didn’t party regularly. So it’s not like they’d be going out of their way really-if that’s what you were worried about. Well, knowing you, that was something you were worried about. He found an amused little huff leaving him at that thought. 

“See something funny, love?” Seems you’d heard him.

“Nope,” he grinned your way, “just thinking.”

“Should I be concerned?”

“Hey!”

“You come up with some pretty crazy schemes,” he noticed the little smirk on your lips - oh you cheeky - “they’re usually fun, even if they’re dangerous.”

“Like you’re one to talk!” He grinned. “You always add on more crazy things!”

“My crazy things are to make your crazy things less dangerous,” you hummed, “I very much prefer you alive, well, and healthy you see.”

“You just like me,” he beamed at you with a laugh.

“I love you, actually,” you responded without missing a beat nor looking up from your paperwork.

Yeah.

He was definitely giving you that second wedding here on the Moby Dick. Maybe even at one of the prettier spring or autumn islands on Pops’ turf. Whatever you’d like the most! Heck he’ll give you two second weddings - er - a second and a third. Wedding. Yeah.

Oh!

Maybe he could even surprise you with it! 

He ought to get started on it - today! Right now!

He threw back the rest of his glass of water and rushed to the door.

“Ah! Ace! Wait a second!” He paused right before opening it up. “I’m just about done with this! Let me finish and I can help you with your hair and back!”

“Huh?” He raised a brow at you.

“Huh?” You returned equally confused. “Weren’t you going to shower to feel better?”

“No?” He tilted his head.

“Then you’re going straight for the kitchen?” You continued, still confused. “Didn’t you want to eat together?”

Oh that was tempting. He couldn’t say no to that. Wait, even the shower help was tempting. You’d been the one to teach him how to properly scrub his scalp after all. But he didn’t want to delay his surprise a second longer!

“Then, I’m gonna get some fresh air,” not really a lie, he’d get fresh air on his way to see Marco, “then we can eat together.”

“So no shower?”

“Wouldn’t we get caught?”

“What do you mean? I’m just washi-Ace!” You let out a garbled sound making him laugh.

“Alright, alright darlin’,” he gave you a lopsided grin, “I’m just teasing. Yeah we’ll do both.”

“Okay,” you seemed pleased with that outcome, despite it being more work for you.

He let go of the door handle to come press a kiss to your forehead, “love you.”

“Love you too,” you returned immediately.

He walked out the door feeling lighter than he had in a while.

Yeah he was definitely giving you the grandest wedding he could, and he was a Whitebeard pirate, and they really knew how to party.

Extra:

Later during an “Official Division Commander Meeting”:

Izou: she must be the one to pick out her dress

Ace: then I’ll take her out to get one picked

Izou: absolutely not! I will

Ace: hey she’s my wife

Izou: exactly! You’re not allowed to see her in the dress until the ceremony you fool!

Marco: (placing a comforting hand on Ace’s shoulder) well, there’s no one better for this task than Izou yoi

Izou: hmph! but of course

Thatch: you all have the easy part, I have to make all the food, and the cake

Ace: it’ll be worth it!

Thatch: for you maybe, you’re not the one cooking to feed a fleet. I swear I have the most difficult job

Marco: we have feasts all the time, no need to do anything extra yoi. 

Ace: except the cake! The cake is really important!

Thatch: yeah yeah I heard you. groans

Marco: Besides your division has a bunch of cooks to help you out doesn’t it?

//------------------------

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Hey, this might be super lame but I think it helps with mental health if even just a little. get yourself a comfort item that can be like, from your blorbo.

I don't even mean like the char themed ones you can get but like, for example I have a purple hoody that looks just like Marco's purple shirt and when I am extra spicy with the sadness I just wear it and think ahhh boyfriend hoody.

I know a few people who do this. It's just a ncie silly thing ya know?